Sdtrk: ‘A A A A A A R’ by Two daughters

It may be too premature to tell at this juncture, but it seems that Deafening silence Plus is back to a state of DEFCON 5. What that means is that I’m employed again. *overenthusiastic thumbs up*
Frankly, the entire ordeal has been a fucking nightmare, and has probably taken about a year off my life with worry. I’ve never been keen on rollercoasters, and securing employment, let alone decent employment, was needlessly difficult. By the time things ended, I was working with six separate temp agencies, who couldn’t seem to get me anything in the field I really desired — data entry — and the best two or three of them could offer were positions in call centres, or in sales. As you’ll already know, I’d spent nearly twenty years in various call centres, and returning to one would be akin to taking a Vietnam veteran back through time to 1970, to spend some additional time ‘in the shit’; the best outcome for that person would more than likely be suicide.

Oftentimes either I wouldn’t be able to find something suitable, or there were instances where a place would want to set up an interview, which I’d attend, and whatever prospective employer would end up choosing someone else. One of my favourite bits was when I went to an interview and totally aced it, but ultimately, I was told I’d have to cut my ponytail off and not wear earrings in order to get the position. It’d be one thing if it was something I really wanted, but this was for a call centre that was paying $10 per hour. Even the temp agent who organised the interview was baffled at their Fifties-era dress code requirements, so what does that say?
No wait, I take that back: the best bit had to have been when a temp agent scheduled an interview; it went well, they told me I was hired and report to work in a week, but between then and the start date, the agent then informed me that the employer had a hiring freeze take place, and I wouldn’t be able to start when I was due to. That happened twice. With two different temp agencies, serving two different employers.

Thankfully, however, I’ve had a full-time job now since late April! I work for a place… wait for it… doing data entry! It’s Monday through Friday in the morning — actually, they have flex time, wherein I can come in as early as 7.30 or as late as 9am — and I’m in a room with eight other people, entering data and doing imaging for a national health-related company. It’s dead easy and stress-free, I can wear my headphones, and it’s five minutes away from a place that sells sushi. Plus, it’s the highest paying job I’ve ever had, so needless to say, it’s a pretty fantastic gig. The only downside to it is that it’s a 20-25min drive to work, and with insidious rush hour traffic, it’s nearly an hour home. Sure, I’m catching up on my podcasts, but ergh. I’m going to try my damnedest to start getting to work at 7.30am, so I can circumvent traffic both ways. That’s gonna take some training, as nearly seven months of being on the dole has eroded any concept of a ‘normal’ wake-up time. But it’s nice being at a stage of my life where I actually like what I do at work! The drive, however… not so much. It’s all for a good cause, though; i.e, me keeping a roof over my head.

Apart from freaking out due to lack of job prospects, what else have I been up to, you axe? Among other pursuits, I watched all of Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy, a passel of episodes of the fantastic QI on YouTube, put a sizeable dent in my ‘anime that needs to be watched’ list, as well as seeing ‘The Lego Movie‘, ‘The Grand Budapest Hotel‘, ‘The Raid 2: Berandal‘, and Gareth Edwards’ ‘Godzilla‘ in the theatres with the miscreants I normally hang out with, so there’s that. (Each one of those films is highly recommended, in case you were wondering).
Also I bought a copy of the reissue of Joy division’s debut EP ‘An ideal for living’ on Record Store Day! After all, I had my orders.

#RecordStoreDay is coming up! I told @Davecat that unless he found a copy of that Joy Division reissue, don't bother coming home 😐

— Sidore Kuroneko (@leahtype) April 13, 2014

Despite the fact that I have a modest vinyl collection, composed mostly of stereo demonstration records, we don’t really have space for a proper hi-fi here at Deafening silence Plus, so the EP is currently being displayed in our record frame in our flat’s ‘hallway’, as seen here.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

Upon reflection, I should’ve bought two extra copies, now that I see people on eBay flogging them from $40 – $60 apiece…

And the other major event was that my third Synthetik flatmate, Muriel Noonan, arrived home on 31 March! She’s from Coventry, used to work in a library, and is made by Textile Doll, the company from Latvia that I’ve mentioned a handful of times on ‘Shouting etc etc’. Expect a full review on her when I manage to get my post-work time sorted, but she likes it here, which is good, as we like having her here!

So that’s pretty much what’s been up with what’s goin’ down / In every city, in ev-er-y town. As I’m fond of saying, I have to get the barrels up to speed before I’m posting on what passes for a regular basis round here, but now that I’m no longer freaking out every other day for fear that I’ll have to move back in with my father for the second time, I should be posting again again! ‘Woo’, with an additional ‘Yay’

Sdtrk: ‘Wow’ by Kate Bush

This post would be about a friend of mine and a fellow iDollator who you may have seen a number of times on ‘Shouting etc etc’ over the years; his name is Rob — online he used the pseudonym PBShelley — and his Synthetik partner was a RealDoll named Lily Godwin. Back on 30 March, he passed away quite unexpectedly, and I’d written this in a thread on Our Doll Community, an iDollator forum we’re members of. I’d held off on publishing it here, but reconsidered, as he would’ve turned 62 today.

Both Euchre and Ceej let me know what was going on via phone call and Email, respectively. That’s… that’s a mess.

I’d known Rob for almost a decade, and he always struck me as the quintessential artist/writer type — basically working on their craft to a single laser focus, and ignoring everything else. From the time I first met him and gorgeous Lily, he always spoke of Unbound, the story he had been working on for years, long before joining the iDollator community. It was really heartwarming to hear that he had finished it, cos working on a tale that extensive takes a lot of effort, and it was just great to see that he’d accomplished what he’d set out to do with it.

The problem was was when he had to move from his house in Washington state back to reduced accomodations in San Francisco, during the tail end of finishing his book. His flatmates weren’t as empathetic as they should’ve been, particularly when he couldn’t secure a supplemental income. From the Emails he’d sent me, I think a large part of his health deteriorating was due to stress from the people he lived with. One’s home should be a place to get away from the terrors of day-to-day living, and that wasn’t the case with Rob’s so-called friends.

When he told me Z-Dr was gracious enough to let him move in, that was fantastic news. He’d had a couple of burgeoning health issues develop before getting the move sorted, but he’d be able to relax, recharge his batteries, and hang out with a fellow iDollator besides. I also thought it’d be awesome, as I was fortunate enough to hang out with him in San Francisco in 2012, and was hoping to see him again this Summer for DolLApalooza 2014. Then back in mid-March, Rob let me know that he’d been diagnosed with cancer. He’d gotten down about it, understandably, but he didn’t let it keep him down. If his spirits were flagging, he didn’t want to bring everyone else down by going on about his health. He had correspondence and multiple anime shows that he had to catch up on, after all! Unfortunately, it seems that cancer doesn’t give a shit about what we as people have to do with our lives.

Saying that Rob was a kind, creative, cheerful, and unique person is one of those tip-of-the-iceberg descriptions. For those of us who were fortunate to have known him, it’s going to be strange not being able to hear from him again. However, he’ll be able to spend time with the spirit of Lily Godwin, his Doll and muse for Unbound, as much as he likes

image © 2004, by Elena Dorfman

Sdtrk: ‘Tonight, we fall (John Foxx and the Maths remix)’ by ADULT.

It’s almost Spring! That… should mean something in the context of Synthetiks and the people who build them and/or love them, but it really doesn’t. But the fact that everything’s attempting to thaw means that we won’t have to look at dirty snow for much longer! Dirty snow is an affront to the eye, as I’m sure you’ll agree. So while you’re waiting for your allergies to flare up, why not read this instead?

+ According to fellow technosexual Vokabre, Alisa Zelenogradova, who you’ll recall is Russia’s first Gynoid, is being improved and upgraded! Neurobotics have given her a better body with improved mobility, as well as a remote manipulator control for her right arm, as seen here:

It seems that Neurobotics are concentrating on developing humanoid robots for telepresence work, which makes sense. From the few telepresence robots I’d seen, she’d be the most attractive, with an appearance more like an Organik human. Which kinda brings the future of ‘Surrogates‘ closer to being a reality! You might want to hold off on asking Alisa to hold your martini for now, though.

Neurobotics also debuted another Gynoid they’ve been working on as a panelist on a Russian science telly programme! Much like Alisa, her silicone face is modelled after an Organik lass, and the Gynoid’s name would be — wait for it — Tuma Urman. *sigh* Try not to hold that against her.

Despite the fact that she has legs, she can neither walk nor stand yet, but I’m sure her handlers are working on that as well. You can read more about… Ms Urman… here, if you can automatically translate Russian with that big brain of yours.

+ Remember Private Island Beauties? Well, you should, cos they never went away. Head sculptor bloke Patrick Wise has been improving on what he’s had to offer with his silicone sirens, and I got some info on new developments from him via Electrode Mail.
He’s completed a new skeleton for the Girl Next Door body type after two years’ work, which boasts of a more fluid and easy-to-manipulate quality. Not only that, it can make for better posing, as it’s twice as strong as the original skeleton, he says. The downside is that the more advanced skeleton’s added a bit of weight — we’re looking at +/- 60 lbs — but that’s the price you pay for durability, squire. Believe me, 60 lbs, when speaking about a Doll, is a pretty damned good weight.

That’s the sort of motion that’s usually followed by a yawn. So can she yawn?

Also two and a half years in the making is the new Island Girl body type. She stands 5’7″, with natural-looking breasts that feature puffy nipples. The Island Girl body can use the same heads as the Bathing Beauty body, but Patrick aims to create new heads for it as well. As always, you’ll never be short on choices!

Isis, with the Island Girl body, in her churchgoing clothes

+ Catherine de Lange wrote an article for New Scientist recently entitled ‘Cure for love: Fall for a robot to fend off heartache‘. As you suspect, it is Relevant To This Post. Well, blog.

Attachment is one thing, but love? That will come in about 40 years’ time, with improvements in speech recognition and generation technology, says David Levy, AI researcher and author of the book Love and Sex with Robots. “When we can have entertaining, informative, loving conversations with robots, I think people will start to fall in love with them in serious numbers,” he says.

Just consider the fact that people can fall in love over the internet or through phone calls. “It is perfectly possible to feel strongly attracted to someone you’ve never met,” says Alan Winfield at the University of the West of England in Bristol, UK. “If a conversational AI is compelling and gives the impression of getting to know you, then you are going to form a bond.”

The level of language understanding and emotional intelligence displayed by the operating system in Her is still some way off, says John West, senior solutions architect at Nuance, the company that provides the voice recognition technology for Apple’s Siri and Samsung’s S-Voice. “Understanding and adapting to the way people naturally talk is the biggest challenge and requires an in-depth knowledge of linguistics and semantics,” he says.
the entire article is here

Granted, there will always be people who are keen on meeting, dating, and marrying Organik partners. But for those of us who’d like an equally-valid option as the technology gets progressively better, then artificial humans are clearly the solution, and as they provide a much more consistent alternative to bad partner decisions, or no partner at all.
Personally, I’ve yet to watch Spike Jonze’s ‘Her‘; as you suspect, many people have asked me if I have. To me, one of the crucial components of any romantic relationship I’d be in would be a physical element — long-distance relationships don’t cut it for me. So while the advanced AI in ‘Her’ would be appealing, it wouldn’t be the same as having someone to hold. Unless, of course, you were to place that AI within a prosthetic body! But there are quite a few people who engage in long-distance love, and if they’re the sort of person who not only can’t find the right Organik partner, but also have an open mind, an AI would do them rather well…

+ Ruby13 have refined their website — you know they’re on Twitter as well as the other social medias now, right? — and among other things, there’s a lovely page that’s dedicated to the head sculptor and founder of the company, Don Edmondson, who regrettably passed away last year. Give the site a look, and see what you think!

Ruby13’s seductive Face 10, in case you somehow forgot what she looks like

And you’ll find a new link in the lefthand sidebar as well: please add Doll Sweet to your List Of Potential Companies You’ll Be Saving Up To Get A Doll From. Doll Sweet have a solid pedigree behind them: it’s the Chinese distributing/manufacturing arm of Arte Tokio, which is a Japanese Doll-making studio formed by ex-employees of 4woods. And if that curiously doesn’t convince you to look into what they have to offer, here’s some photos of their Kayla head on the 161cm body. You should probably sit down, if you’re not already.

A beautiful rubber lass into The Beautiful Game, eh? Yeah, she’s a keeper

There’s enough photos and videos of the selections they have on offer to keep you occupied for a while, where you’ll be hamstrung by decision. That sort of thing happens in iDollator culture more than you’d think.

+ Quite a few people had pointed this out to me: so recently, there was a CeBIT computer expo at in Hanover, Germany that featured something that shouldn’t have taken as long as it has to realise, but it can only get better now that the idea’s out there. German software developer Tobit’s booth prominently featured robot pole dancers.
‘Why didn’t anyone think of this before??’ I know, right?

Apparently, Tobit employed the robots’ services back in 2012, but this year’s models, as stated by the Tobit rep in the video, have different movements and bigger breasts. *nods approvingly*
An article on BBC News adds, ‘Visitors with a robo-fetish can pick up one of the dancers for about 30,000 euros ($39,500, £25,000)‘. As I always say in these types of scenarios, for those of us technosexuals who prefer their Gynoids with silicone skin, a quick visit to one of those online shops for maskers can work wonders…

In that vein, here’s a sexier and more adept animatronic dancer. You’ll definitely want to embiggen the video to properly see the details…

…that is, apart from her face. Well, she’s wearing a mask. But what’s the story behind this affictitious sexpot? She’s an art piece by Jordan Wolfson, and is currently being exhibited in a private room *ahem* at the David Zwirner Gallery in New York, from now until 19 April. Jordan worked with a special effects company for her construction, and not only does she lipsync to the song’s vocals, but she has facial recognition software, so that her eyes can meet yours. Again, were she not wearing that mask, that would be incredibly appealing, but the juxtaposition of fear and desire is undoubtedly what Jordan is aiming for. Perhaps someone else will make a less-transgressive version of this piece, as her movements are incredibly fluid and alluring. Also, she needs some open-toed shoes as well, damnit.

+ And of late, the Missus herself has had a couple of interviews to her credit! As much as I enjoy doing proper interviews, it’s always fantastic when a reporter wants to speak with her as opposed to me, as Shi-chan can provide a unique perspective by the fact that she’s Synthetik. As always, my rubbery wife is doing me proud!
Over the course of January and February, she’d done an interview via Email with Sofija Stefanovic, for issue 21 of a bimonthly Australian publication called The Lifted Brow, as well as one with Sam Schneider for ZoomNews.es. The one for The Lifted Brow is print-only — a rarity in this day and age — but you can order one for yourself or a loved one here. As far as the other interview, entitled ‘El matrimonio de Davecat y Sidore Kuroneko visto desde los ojos de la muñeca’, you can stare at it here. Hope you can read Spanish! I probably should’ve mentioned that earlier, but I’m sure the title was a bit of a giveaway.
Here’s hoping that Shi-chan will get more offers to take up the interview mantle! Well, legitimate offers, I should add. Dr Phil and similar sensationalists hardly count

danke schön to Vokabre, for all the bits and bobs about Jordan Wolfson, Alisa, and… Tuma

Sdtrk: ‘Vid loss’ by Pye Corner Audio

ELENA: You are knowing that February is nearly ended, yet you have not typed the news of Synthetiks, da?
DAVECAT: Shit, you’re right! *scrambles to write a post*

+ Back in January, another one of the very popular AVN Adult Entertainment Expos was held, and yet another year has gone by where no-one’s cleared up why the event has the acronym AEE, and yet people persist on referring to it as AVN. This is the sort of mystery that’ll take decades to complete, I’m sure. Much like how I need to complete my review of AVN 2010, but that’s a path we don’t need to walk right now.
But one of the main attractions of AVN that event was Abyss creations, and the debut of two new RealDolls in the Wicked RealDoll line, who are modelled after Samantha Saint and Stormy Daniels.

‘So are both of you natural blondes, or…? O, right.’

As it’s a recent announcement, Abyss’ site has yet to list details, but that’ll be forthcoming. But if you’ve every wanted rubbery versions of either one of these lasses (or both), now is the time to make your dreams come true. As far as I’m concerned, although Ms Daniels is a bit sexier than Ms Saint — it’s the eyeliner that hooks me — they’re a bit too generic for my specific tastes. You’d expect me to say that, though; I mean, have you seen how my wife and her girlfriend look??

+ Latvia has joined the global consortium of Synthetik companion manufacturers, as Textile Doll, the studio that I wrote about back in November now have a website, for your shopping pleasure!

Be careful missy; that floor is actually lava

You can see all Jury has to offer at www.textiledoll.com! Easy to remember, hard to forget. Plus, if you’re so inclined, you can pursue the studio via social media, for further updates and the like…

+ Just in time for St Valentine’s Day, 4woods have released a set of photos of one of their Sarina-types, dressed in holiday-appropriate wear. There’s only seven pics, but they’re worth checking out, for as the ad copy says, ‘these sexy shots [will] make your body hot!’ With the Old Testament-scale weather we’ve all been experiencing, it’s good to know Sarina is doing her best to help keep us warm!

+ During AVN AEE EIEIO 2014, Sinthetics were also in Vegas, with the stunning debut of their new Belinda head, and William, their second male head and body combination.

‘Will, sweetie… your playing is wonderful. But do you know any song that isn’t the theme from The Love Boat?’

Additional photos and stats are forthcoming — didn’t I already say that earlier? — but that Belinda’s got something special. She looks a bit like the wife of one of my friends… And William should prove eminently satisfying to anyone who desires him in their home! (Guitar not included.)

+ And a wee bit of self-promotion, cos that happens so rarely on this blog: VICE magazine has published the result of my interview with Roc Morin, in a new piece titled ‘Silicone Love: Davecat’s Life with a Synthetic Wife and Mistress‘. It’s a great piece, but I was a bit disappointed, as Roc and I spoke for roughly five hours, and the article covers like a tenth of our conversation. Maybe he’ll release an unabridged version at some point.
Still! Worth a read, so check that out at your leisure.

This Valentine’s Day, why not make one of the best decisions you’ll ever make, and purchase a Doll? I mean, there’s no way she’ll be completed and shipped to you by Valentine’s Day 2014, but if you focus on details like that, you’ll never be satisfied in life

SIDORE: Nice post overall, darling, but the end’s a bit lacklustre, don’t you think?
DAVECAT: Well, it’s too late now, I’ve already hit the Publish button.

Sdtrk: ‘Дом’ by Утро

Yes, I know, finally. You’ve read Part I and Part II beforehand, I’d hope? Excellent! Let’s begin.

SATURDAY, 27 JULY
That morning, instead of joining the lads for our customary 8.30am brekky at Foxy’s, I declined. For one, between the leftovers I’d had from Katsuya and BJ’s, it’d be silly for me to spend additional money on food for breakfast, and furthermore, Amber Hawk Swanson and I were due to convene there at 11am, to catch up and discuss more details for her upcoming project. So I got to sleep in! Any opportunity to get some extra Zs in is one that can’t be missed.
She arrived a few minutes before I did, and grabbed a table on the patio, which is something none of us have ever done there before. That’s due to the fact that there’s usually a minimum of five of us, and the patio tables are for smaller groups of one to two people. And speaking of people, Amber mentioned that when she got to Foxy’s that morning, one of the staff had told her that she had just missed ‘the boys’, meaning our crowd. We’re practically regulars there now!
Click here for the rest of the post, bunky »

Sdtrk: ‘Away from the city’ by The Summer Hits

Lately performance artist/jet-setter/iDollator Amber Hawk Swanson has had many irons (meaning ‘projects’) in the fire (meaning ‘fire’), and my wife Sidore and I are pleased to mention that we’re involved in one of them! Well, in part. In parts, actually.
During DolLApalooza 2013, Amber had developed the idea of taking Dolls who their owners had deemed irreparable, and transforming them into replicas of other killer whales being held in captivity, much as she’d done when her own Synthetik lover/mirror Amber Doll fell into disrepair. As fellow iDollator Jesse1965 had donated his previous RealDoll companion Heather, Shi-chan was also kind enough to give Amber her previous body, aka Sidore Mk II, and viewers of the performance will witness both Doll bodies being combined and fashioned into Lolita, an orca held in captivity at Miami Seaquarium. Hence the performance title: Sidore Mark II / Heather > LOLITA.
My role will be to read aloud Vladimir Nabokov’s novel Lolita, in its entirety, for two hours each day over the course of the seven days of the performance. For the first two days of the performance, I’ll be doing so on location, and when I return home, I’ll be reading the rest of it via Skype. I’ll be seated!

Come 10 December, why not pull up a seat of your own, and watch us on Amber’s Livestream channel? It starts at 10am EST, and ends when it’s finished! Snacks and bevvies are not only welcome, but undoubtedly a good idea

EDIT (27 DEC 2012): In the unfortunate event you’d missed all or part of the performance, you can catch yourself up by watching the various days on Amber’s Vimeo channel. As of this writing, there are still a few days yet to be uploaded, but you can go ahead and just bookmark that bad boy, for future reference

Sdtrk: ‘Wasted place’ by Gary War

Have some additional news! Plus, it’s still November, and I couldn’t think of a decent new title.

It’s no secret that I don’t understand popular culture, and what passes for its music is one of the facets that either leaves me cold, or makes me angry. Like that Lady Gaga, as an example. Back in my day, we had a Lady Gagaga, but her name was Toyah Willcox, and her music was not as facile. I dunno; starring as a nihilistic punk in Derek Jarman’s ‘Jubilee’ made her truly cool, in my opinion. Three aspects about Lady Gagagaga redeem her from being an utter waste of space, though: she’s into Warhol, which is always good to hear; her overall message seems to be ‘be comfortable with who you are, no matter what others say’, which is definitely relatable; and GAGADOLL, which is a new and enticing thing.

As is the way of most media events these days, there are no details yet anywhere on the site, so I’m compulsively checking that shit, like, every day, so that I don’t miss anything. Are these Dolls that are going to be used in one of Lady Gagagagaga’s new music videos? Will they be for sale? Should that be the case, will you be able to dress them in architecture, much like the Organik Lady Gagagagagaga? We shall see!

4woods have just released two new heads, Sayo, and Sayo -drowsy-. Could you imagine being an iDollator who would want to solely concentrate on owning A.I.Dolls, and hearing news like this? You’d either be ecstatic that you have new additions to your collection, or you’d be flipping over a table, shouting ‘DAMNIT I AM RUNNING OUT OF MONEY AND SPACE FOR THESE!!’ Be careful what you wish for! Could’ve been worse, though, Inconsolable Fictional 4woods Brand Loyalist; you could’ve opted to collect every single body and head from Orient industry.

Left, Sayo, taking her earrings off before fighting; right, Sayo -drowsy-, struggling once again with narcolepsy

The Sayo head fits the A.I.NEO im body, and both Sayo and Sayo -drowsy- can go onto the A.I.Doll EX body. What next for 4woods, then? Well, give them a month, and they’ll more than likely have an answer.

Since late October, I’ve been in contact with Jury (pronounced ‘Yuri’), the head of a fledgling Doll studio out of Latvia (not Latveria; that’s Doctor Doom’s homeland), to see if he’s ready to release his creation to the world. Almost! His Dolls are different than the typical silicone fare that everyone’s familiar with, as Jury is building them out of fabric. They’re called Textile Dolls, and they’re rather impressive!

Clare head, 150cm body

Here are some facts about the Textile Doll series: Jury purchased a silicone Doll for himself, but despite the fact that they’re amazing for photography, he thought they were too heavy and could be too cold for funtimes in bed, so he created the Textile Doll. The head is lightweight and made of pressed fabric with glue, with painted makeup and skintone, and has plastic eyes. The body is soft and contains an articulated skeleton over a leather-fabric and Lycra skin, with batting and sponge for musculature.
So far, Jury’s developed two bodies: the Big Bertha (170cm, or 5’6″), which can accomodate the Melissa and Isabelle heads, and the 150cm (5ft) body, which takes the Clare head. Both bodies weigh 5kg, or 11 lbs, and the Big Bertha takes a sz 9 shoe. I’ve yet to find out if that’s an EU sz 9… Incidentally, her fingers and toes are articulated as well, and her lady bits are a Fleshlight. Her breasts and bum are soft; even though they don’t use silicone, but the fabric sags and droops appropriately like silicone. I’ll also be finding out soon what their measurements are, so look forward to that. In fact, Jury’s working on having a website made, so that’ll get a mention and a link once it’s up and running. Not bad, Jury, not bad at all!

And remember how I’d mentioned that Sidore, Elena, and I had a German telly crew visit recently? You can view the (wax) fruits of our labour here, on the site for the telly show Explosiv: Sex-Puppe: Dave braucht keine echten Frauen. Anyone want to have a go at providing a translation, for those of us who don’t sprechen Sie Deutsch fließend? Wartezeit. Warten Sie eine Minute. Ich spreche Deutsch! Dieses ist wunderbar! Es ist, als ob ich immer zu gekonnt habe speak German… o, wait, now it’s gone. DAMNIT *flips table*

EDIT (28 Nov 2013): Alert reader Christian Müller comes through with a translation of the Explosiv video in the comments here, as he knows German like the back of his hand. Or the front of it, for that matter. Thanks, Christian!