I burped at Vegas, Part I

typed for your pleasure on 1 February 2010, at 2.50 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Skelechairs (Venetian snares remix)’ by Venetian snares

Having never been to Las Vegas before in my life, it was a unique and alien experience to me. Not a bad one, but certainly not what I’m used to. You know you’re in a land — yes, ‘a land’, cos Vegas is kind of like its own country, a bizarre Disneyland for adults — where the traditional rules of day-to-day living don’t apply. Such as when you’re having a pleasant dinner with nine of your mates at a Denny’s, and all of a sudden, the shuddering rumble of a volcano explodes across the road. Of course, it’s not a real volcano; it’s spewing water coloured by lights, and gas jets blast flames into the sky, and of course the tiki soundtrack played over the speakers wouldn’t be found at the site of a genuine eruption, but yep, it’s a volcano. Across from a Denny’s. Sure, why the hell not. Velcome to Wegas!

Back during one of the 2009 autumn Doll Congresses, Mahtek, Euchre, and CJD discussed plans for attending the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo, taking place in Las Vegas during the first week of January, as a handful of Doll manufacturers were going to be there. Since I wasn’t able to make the last one thanks to my laughable finances, they decided that I was coming with them for the 2010 show. I wasn’t going to argue the point! So tickets were purchased, and plans were henceforth made. Needless to say, we were pretty excited about the whole thing!

THURSDAY, 06 JANUARY
I had gotten round to Euchre’s digs at 10.30 Wednesday eve; whilst he finished cramming things into his luggage, I leveled him up on Earth Defence Force 2017 and showed him the wonders of Bayonetta. Why the hell am I not playing Bayonetta right this minute?? O, right; cos I don’t own an XBLOX 360, I keep forgetting. We managed to stay awake until it was time to drive round to Mahtek’s, where CJD, being from London, Ontario, had stayed the night. Piling our sundry baggage into Euchre’s Jeep, we motored out to the airport at some ungodly time, got through security without a hitch, and hung round our gate until 6.30am. As we were later to discover, thankfully not all airports are as stingy with the free Wi-Fi as Metro seemed to be, as none of us could get signals to kill some time with our laptops. And much like the last time I was at Metro, their stores and restaurants are still not open 24 hours, as there was an overpriced sushi place I really wanted to hit. Hrrr.

Our Delta/Northwest plane arrived on time, and we boarded without a hitch. Unfortunately, our flight didn’t take off on time, and we very nearly taxied back to the gate at 7.43 due to ‘hydraulic issues’, which elicited a collective groan from everyone aboard. However, it turned out that everything was alright after all (or was it just a case of the pilots reasoning ‘if we just take off, they’ll shut up’?), so fortunately we didn’t have to change planes like they were hinting that we might’ve had to do.
The plane we were on — a non-stop flight directly to Las Vegas, as Mahtek hates layovers — was an airbus, sporting three seats per side. Euchre went for the aisle seat, as he’s not altogether fond of air travel, and Mahtek got the window, which left CJD betwixt them, and yours truly on the opposite side of the aisle. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a window seat on that side, due to an overzealous passenger, but between them and myself was an auburn-haired lass with extraordinary fringe named Ashley. We had an engaging chat for a while — she was a college student working on a comedic screenplay — until we decided that it was sleepytime. I say that, but for me, it hardly lived up to the title; whereas Ashley had remembered that she could tilt her seat back, I totally forgot, and I occasionally woke up to see her sound asleep, wondering how she managed to magnetise her head to her headrest. I do regret, however, not being able to truthfully answer her when she asked why I was flying to Vegas; as I’d pointed across the aisle and mentioned that I was flying with friends, I didn’t want to unnecessarily implicate them by saying, ‘O, we’re all iDollators, heading to the AVN to squeeze some silicone boobies!’ Ah well, sometimes you have to pick your battles.

After navigating McCarran International Airport (nice trams you lads have, by the way!), we reached the Mirage hotel at 10am EST. That was going to take some getting used to, the whole ‘we’re now three timezones behind what we’re used to’ thing, but at least the weather was genuinely beautiful. Mahtek had warned that, although the week-end’s weather would be an average of 60ºF, the evenings were to hover slightly round the twenties, so I brought my leather jacket, just in case. As it turns out, I’d made the right decision!
In short order, CJD and Mahtek headed to their room, whilst Euchre and I went to ours, to unload our luggage and hit the bog for a much-needed slash. Now, if you’re at all familiar with the mighty and fearsome power that a toilet aboard a standard airplane has, you’ll be able to picture what our toilet was like. It was this startling, turbo-charged affair that, instead of a lingering, gradual flush, made a pronounced WHOOMpssshh noise that implied that it would’ve taken your hand off at the wrist if you had it near it. Which honestly would’ve been just as well, cos why would you even have your bare hand in the bog in the first place? Let that be a lesson to you.
Also, another sign that Vegas is not like Other Places? We were several floors off the ground, and when I opened our hotel room window, in peering down, I noticed a bloke in a boiler suit sweeping the roof. It was an extremely tidy city to begin with, but I mean, damn. Then, the $3 Dr pepper I’d purchased in a fit of thirsty desperation came coursing back through my midsection to say Hi, and I let out a deep, heady belch towards the Vegas skyline. Then I closed the window.

Speaking of expense, it was quickly dawning on us that this was an expensive city; or, at the very least, most of the places we were eating at were pricey. Euchre and I joined up with Mahtek and CJD, and we ate brekky at the Carnegie Delicatessen in Mirage’s vast and enormous lobby. As I only had $50 for the entire trip (mistake no.1), I wanted something light, as we’d probably be running round all day, so I ordered a plate of bacon, with a Barq’s to wash it down. Six bucks for a plate of about twelve strips of bacon. It wasn’t even spectacular bacon! I’ve had better bacon.
The four of us arrived at the Sands Convention Center, after making use of the futuristic system of moving walkways that one of the adjoining hotels (the Venetian) had, and in short order, we were there, ogling all that AVN had to offer! Which would be tits and bums, mostly. It was a spectacle that you’d pretty much expect from Las Vegas — adult film stars, wearing the merest suggestion of clothing in some cases, as far as the eye could see, hawking their wares, signing autographs, gyrating on poles, etc. Speaking for myself, I was there primarily to check out what the four Doll manufacturers there had to offer: RealDoll’s Abyss creations, Lovable Dolls’ KnightHorse, Ruby13’s… Ruby13, and the new kid on the block, TrueCompanion.

The main product that Abyss creations were debuting was their brand-new Wicked RealDoll line. They’d made a deal with Wicked Pictures, an adult film company, to make affictitious versions of a few the stars in their stable, and Abyss had begun with incredibly lifelike versions of Alektra Blue and jessica drake. And yes, jessica’s name is in lower case like that, because why not?


jessica (left) and Alektra (right)

Personally, I prefer brunettes over blondes, but if I had to make a choice between the two Wicked RealDolls available, I’d go with jessica in an instant. There’s something about her that just translates very well into silicone. Not that I’d throw an Alektra Doll out of bed for eating Triscuits! (NOTE: Dolls cannot actually eat)
Along with their two newest models, Abyss also had a couple of Boy Toy Dolls on display (one of them being Amanda’s Boy Toy Doll friend, Bridget), two more RealDolls (one of them being Amanda’s RealDoll friend, Zoe), a RealDoll 2, and a Nick-type male RealDoll 2, as well as flatback torsos both of the male and female variety on the front desk. O, and how could I forget the lass hanging upside-down from the ceiling? She’s a coffee achiever.


‘Missy, you are SUSPENDED! Ah ha ha O GOD SHE’S GOT A GUN’

We got to meet the Abyss staffers — specifically Matt McMullen, who I hadn’t seen in years, and Amanda, who I’ve only conversed with via Twitter — which was very cool. Amanda then took us behind the booth (individually, as it was rather crowded back there), to show us a new Doll development that we’re sworn to MK Ultra-level secrecy not to reveal. Trust me, though, it’s pretty feckin’ amazing, and it’s going to make a lot of up-and-coming Doll owners very happy.
O, go on then, you’ve twisted my arm! It’s the ability to eat Triscuits. Now you know!

Our party then wandered over to the modest, velvety booth that Bob, Don, and Jim had for Ruby13, and I have to say, now that I’ve actually seen one in person, their Dolls are more beautiful than I originally thought. And at 50 lbs, they’re lighter in weight, too!


This particular ginger might not have a soul, but she’s okay with that

Bob, beardy Ruby13 customer, spokesman, and friend of Don, beardy sculptor for Ruby13, were down-to-earth blokes who just enjoy making (or, in Bob’s case, buying) attractive Dolls. True to the iDollator ideal, Bob told me that his lass helped fill a void after his wife passed away, and his life was much less lonely with her in it. Good blokes; wouldn’t hear a word against them.

Next stop was the display that KnightHorse set up for their Lovable Dolls, which was set up the same as last year. It was impressive then; it’s impressive now!


Window shopping just got spicier

As you faced the ‘store’, on your left, you had a lovely A.I.Doll by 4woods seated in a chair, with an equally-delectable Lover Girl at her feet, and in the rightside display, there were three beautiful Lover Girls — an Ally-type, a Yvette-type, and a Sayako-type, as well as the debut of their long-awaited Lover Guy, Adam, all relaxing in a stylish bedroom setting. Just in front of that window was a bench, featuring a pair of Lovable Legs, a Lover Girl torso with a Monique head, and a pair of Lovable Feet. Much like Abyss’ booth, there were also dongs on display, but I don’t want to shoo away my many valued fundamentalist readers by posting photos.
We got to meet the KnightHorse staffers — specifically Matt Krivicke, who I hadn’t seen in years, and Bronwen, who I’ve only conversed with via Email — which was very cool. *shakes head as if to clear it* Wow, sorry. Got a brief sense of déjà vu, there. Also present were Dru (the torso model for Adam), his girlfriend Nikky, and Lisa, who were helping out with presentation, display maintenance, questions and the like.

Shortly thereafter, I excused myself, and made for the TrueCompanion booth down the front of the convention hall, in order to meet the creator of ‘the world’s first sex robot’.

Douglas Hines, mastermind behind the whole concept, recognised me before I recognised him, and bowed deeply from the waist, which I found rather welcoming. Knowing that the idea of an interactive Synthetik companion would be a concept I’d be completely behind, he proceeded to explain the origin behind Roxxxy. Douglas and one of his friends had lost a mutual friend during the World Trade Center attacks on 9/11, and they were musing how they wish they could speak to that friend again. They had been working on various artificial intelligence programmes in previous years, but due to the loss of their friend, they began to think about it once again, in the context of being able to replicate personalities using AI. Hence, TrueCompanion.
As the Roxxxy-type was due to make her debut at a presentation Douglas would be holding on on the AVN main stage on Saturday, he wouldn’t give away a whole lot, but he did tell me that you would be able to upload various different personalities to her software — she essentially had the guts of a laptop inside her, which might partially account for her 125 lb weight — and you could add and subtract whatever traits to your heart’s content, among other things. As I’m the sort of person that’s spoiler-averse, I told him I’d be cool with waiting until The Official Unveiling, and we exchanged contact info and the like. Not bad!

Err, what else occurred that day? Whilst at the Abyss booth, Amanda asked if I wouldn’t mind doing a wee interview with a lass from the Las Vegas Times Weekly, which went quite well for something so impromptu; I also spoke into a taperecorder wielded by talk radio host Mike Kurban whilst loitering round the TrueCompanions booth — you can listen to it here. Click on ’01-18-10′ in the ‘Show Archives’ sidebar; I’m at the 33min mark.
And later that eve, CJD, Euchre, Mahtek, and I joined Bob & Don of Ruby13, and fellow iDollators Bill, Adrianna, Z-Dr, Deusbot, and litlluvr, for a dinner of Eastern European cuisine, and we spent several fantastic hours in the company of like-minded individuals, talking about our favourite Synthetik subjects. Now that’s what these meets are all about, baby!

All that excitement, and AVN wasn’t even officially open that day! What would the rest of the week-end bring us?


from one of the balconies at the Sands Convention Center, 8pm

NEXT UP: Part the Second!

ta very much to Bronwen and Euchre, who corrected a couple of over-looked facts for me

Technorati tags: AVN Adult Entertainment Expo, Synthetiks, iDollators, Earth Defense Force 2017, Bayonetta, Abyss Creations, RealDolls, Wicked Pictures, Alektra Blue, jessica drake, KnightHorse, Lovable Dolls, Ruby13, TrueCompanion, Roxxxy TrueCompanion, Artificial intelligence, Triscuits

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

Surrogates; or, Bruce Willis' hair has never looked so good on October 16th, 2009

Phil and his short-term memory loss / A stunning likeness! on February 3rd, 2011

5 have spoken to “I burped at Vegas, Part I”

  1. Crazyjose writes:

    Great meeting you again in Vegas and hope to see you next year. Love your report and look forward part 2.

  2. Wolfgang writes:

    Ah, Vegas. Never been there. The closest I ever got was feeling its gravitational pull from a gas station in Reno on my way to San Jose. It seems a lot like Tokyo, though… a place to visit, not a place to stay or live, unless you are willing to find yourself a fissure and be subsumed in the overall fabric of the place. It’s a city of experience and spectacle, not for the living needs of human beings.
    I remember a series of commercials that ran a few years back in the States where you had this chubby, balding, timid Midwestern guy who wandered through what we were led to believe was a typical Vegas visit. He would narrate to himself, and it was quite funny. He’s driving down the strip and Sigfried and Roy pull up next to him (and he confuses the two.. ha ha. It’s easy- Roy is the one with the tiger attached to his neck… oh, oh. I’m sorry.) He also has the bizarre line “I can’t believe I’m backstage with SHOWGIRLS!” (Neither can we… security?) Our narrator then goes to the show (apparently he eluded security), and all the while he has this deer-in-the-headlights look, so you know what he’s actually thinking is not “This is so interesting!”, but rather, “Wow! Vulvas clearly defined by skin-tight spandex and sparkles!”
    The whole ad campaign made me very scared of Vegas.. or rather, the kind of zombie tourists one might meet there, making the whole midwest look like one big sugarbeet farm.

  3. Euchre writes:

    Wow it was like being there… again 🙂
    If you want I’ll give you the picture of the plate o bacon to post.
    I can’t believe everyone is already talking about next year. Save, save save.
    And BTW it was the Venetian hotel… 😉

  4. MontiLee writes:

    That ginger lass is quite a number. Glad you had an amazing time. Looking ahead to Part II.

  5. Davecat writes:

    CrazyJose —
    It was really cool meeting you again again, as well, again! 🙂 Hopefully hanging out with us was a better experience than sitting around by yourself, feeling left out and listening to a game of hockey or something. You know. 😉

    WG —
    Your assessment of Vegas being ‘a nice place to visit, but wouldn’t want to live there’ seemed spot-on. I shot a pic from our hotel window about an hour before we had to get to the airport to go home, and you could see a couple of massive hotels, and beyond that, just sandy, mountainous terrain. Even when driving to the airport, you’d see several blocks of hotels and the like, and then these rinky-dink apartments surrounding them. Most of the people living in Vegas are more than likely — more than anyplace else, except for Hollywood — in the service industry. It goes back to how I’d described it before; the entire city is a Disneyland for adults. My perception of the city is probably slightly distorted, having only been in central Vegas, but I couldn’t imagine the people residing there having any lifestyles other than working in an entertainment venue, and crying yourself to sleep every night, or cleaning up after the people who work in entertainment venues, and crying yourself to sleep every night.
    Vegas is a nice place to visit, though!

    Euchre
    Like I said, man, I’m trying to wrestle this post so it doesn’t go into SUPER OVERTIME. Otherwise readers will be demanding frequent flyer miles!

    And it’s not that unusual that people are already getting ready already for the 2011 AVN! We seriously should enact that house plan; I’m sure we’ll have enough people to offset the cost…

    Monti
    O, she was enthralling. She was my favourite one at that booth! For being one of the first Ruby13s ever made (she was a few years old), she still looked good! I really wanted to give her a slap on the bum, but she would’ve pitched forward, and the entire convention area would’ve stopped and stared, indicated by the sound of a record scratching.

    Part II coming soon!

Leave a charming reply