Forever unbound

typed for your pleasure on 10 May 2014, at 11.53 am

Sdtrk: ‘Wow’ by Kate Bush

This post would be about a friend of mine and a fellow iDollator who you may have seen a number of times on ‘Shouting etc etc’ over the years; his name is Rob — online he used the pseudonym PBShelley — and his Synthetik partner was a RealDoll named Lily Godwin. Back on 30 March, he passed away quite unexpectedly, and I’d written this in a thread on Our Doll Community, an iDollator forum we’re members of. I’d held off on publishing it here, but reconsidered, as he would’ve turned 62 today.

Both Euchre and Ceej let me know what was going on via phone call and Email, respectively. That’s… that’s a mess.

I’d known Rob for almost a decade, and he always struck me as the quintessential artist/writer type — basically working on their craft to a single laser focus, and ignoring everything else. From the time I first met him and gorgeous Lily, he always spoke of Unbound, the story he had been working on for years, long before joining the iDollator community. It was really heartwarming to hear that he had finished it, cos working on a tale that extensive takes a lot of effort, and it was just great to see that he’d accomplished what he’d set out to do with it.

The problem was was when he had to move from his house in Washington state back to reduced accomodations in San Francisco, during the tail end of finishing his book. His flatmates weren’t as empathetic as they should’ve been, particularly when he couldn’t secure a supplemental income. From the Emails he’d sent me, I think a large part of his health deteriorating was due to stress from the people he lived with. One’s home should be a place to get away from the terrors of day-to-day living, and that wasn’t the case with Rob’s so-called friends.

When he told me Z-Dr was gracious enough to let him move in, that was fantastic news. He’d had a couple of burgeoning health issues develop before getting the move sorted, but he’d be able to relax, recharge his batteries, and hang out with a fellow iDollator besides. I also thought it’d be awesome, as I was fortunate enough to hang out with him in San Francisco in 2012, and was hoping to see him again this Summer for DolLApalooza 2014. Then back in mid-March, Rob let me know that he’d been diagnosed with cancer. He’d gotten down about it, understandably, but he didn’t let it keep him down. If his spirits were flagging, he didn’t want to bring everyone else down by going on about his health. He had correspondence and multiple anime shows that he had to catch up on, after all! Unfortunately, it seems that cancer doesn’t give a shit about what we as people have to do with our lives.

Saying that Rob was a kind, creative, cheerful, and unique person is one of those tip-of-the-iceberg descriptions. For those of us who were fortunate to have known him, it’s going to be strange not being able to hear from him again. However, he’ll be able to spend time with the spirit of Lily Godwin, his Doll and muse for Unbound, as much as he likes


image © 2004, by Elena Dorfman

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

'I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people.' on August 7th, 2009

Now it can be told on July 4th, 2009

5 have spoken to “Forever unbound”

  1. tchon writes:

    I just got the news from your post (I am currently more living under a rock atm) – so thanks for letting us sublapideus dwellers know!

    Very sad to hear this. I found his books some very precious things to read and I am a little less sad because at least he achieved to finish them, but still … now that makes his reading even more precious that I know he is gone.

    May he rest in a more peaceful place together with the spirit of Lily!

  2. Peter Synthetik & Miss July writes:

    That`s very sad. 62 is no age to die.
    I`m not sure, what I believe in. Will the soul live on, is there a spirit or rebirth ?
    I only hope, that everything is fine for him.
    Me and Miss July want to live in a pyramid like in old Egypt when we are dead, or burn in a total destroying fire in my flat !
    It`s nice, that you took Kate Bush for the soundtrack (I can`t hear it). She started my obsession for female singers in 1978.
    My favourite track was/is “the man with the child in his eyes”. On “wow” she made that great moves with her arms (windmill).
    There was no music video – only a live performance.

  3. Davecat writes:

    tchon –
    So you’ve been under a rock all this time; that’s why you’ve been scarce round here! Not a lot of sunlight with that style of living, but the rent or mortgage payments are extremely cheap. :-)

    Yeah, at the very least, you can say that at least he finished the tale that he’d set out to write years ago, which really had its start long before he’d set pen to paper. I’m certain that Rob had a couple of more stories in him, and it’s a shame that we’ll never know what they were. I’m fairly certain Lily and Eden will keep him busy, though!…

    Peter Synthetik & Miss July –
    There’s of course many schools of thought regarding what happens after we die. One can have their molecules scattered throughout the universe, or one can ascend/descend to the final eternal location of the religion they followed, or absolutely nothing happens. I think that as far as Synthetiks are concerned, as their personalities are created by the people they live with, once their Organik partner passes away, they do as well. I believe that wem as Organiks, gain a sort of immortality through the things that we do or create, and among other things, Rob had made his mark on the world by writing Unbound.

    I do like your choices for the end that you’ll share with Miss July; they have either a definite totality, or a definite way to make a mark on the world! Sidore and I have some ideas in mind as to what’s to become of us when we’re gone, but we have to refine them. Also, we have to work out what’s to happen to Elena, Muriel, and any other Synthetik lass that moves in with us…

    And England should consider Kate Bush to be a national treasure, to be honest… I’d heard ‘The Whole Story’ years before I met Rob, and another reason it was cool knowing him was that he was the biggest Kate Bush fan I’d ever met. The enthusiasm which he spoke of her helped me to realise that she’s a pretty extraordinary performer.

  4. Bruce McKay writes:

    Hello Davecat! Rob’s brother Bruce here. I would like to thank you for your kind words on his behalf (I was referred to your page by webmistress Désirée). It’s been a wrenching as well as a poignant couple of months, almost, since Rob’s passing, and I’ve been getting to know several of his friends through online communications. I’ve been given to understand through Z Dr that you were a steadfast mate to Rob for many years. Rob was always a private person and chose his friends carefully, so that says a lot. Thanks again and do stay in touch!

  5. Davecat writes:

    Hey Bruce –
    Thanks very much for popping round! I just wish it were due to better circumstances…

    From me knowing Rob, it didn’t really strike me so much that he was a private person, as he made friends relatively easily; but it’s more like that he would more easily make friends with people he found interesting or clever. So it’s not so much that he was throwing his arms round absolutely everyone, but tightly embracing the more kindred souls. I’m happy to say that I was one of them!

    And as far lapsed as I am from any form of catholicism, Z-Dr should be given sainthood for giving Rob, Lily, Eden, Soony, and Pennie a safe place to live towards the end of things. It’s a shame the west coast is several hundreds of miles away, as I’d be there more often…

    Again, thanks for saying Hello, and you keep in touch yourself, sir! :-)

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