Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat? (Nov 2013): Part II

typed for your pleasure on 20 November 2013, at 12.14 am

Sdtrk: ‘Wasted place’ by Gary War

Have some additional news! Plus, it’s still November, and I couldn’t think of a decent new title.

It’s no secret that I don’t understand popular culture, and what passes for its music is one of the facets that either leaves me cold, or makes me angry. Like that Lady Gaga, as an example. Back in my day, we had a Lady Gagaga, but her name was Toyah Willcox, and her music was not as facile. I dunno; starring as a nihilistic punk in Derek Jarman’s ‘Jubilee’ made her truly cool, in my opinion. Three aspects about Lady Gagagaga redeem her from being an utter waste of space, though: she’s into Warhol, which is always good to hear; her overall message seems to be ‘be comfortable with who you are, no matter what others say’, which is definitely relatable; and GAGADOLL, which is a new and enticing thing.

As is the way of most media events these days, there are no details yet anywhere on the site, so I’m compulsively checking that shit, like, every day, so that I don’t miss anything. Are these Dolls that are going to be used in one of Lady Gagagagaga’s new music videos? Will they be for sale? Should that be the case, will you be able to dress them in architecture, much like the Organik Lady Gagagagagaga? We shall see!

4woods have just released two new heads, Sayo, and Sayo -drowsy-. Could you imagine being an iDollator who would want to solely concentrate on owning A.I.Dolls, and hearing news like this? You’d either be ecstatic that you have new additions to your collection, or you’d be flipping over a table, shouting ‘DAMNIT I AM RUNNING OUT OF MONEY AND SPACE FOR THESE!!’ Be careful what you wish for! Could’ve been worse, though, Inconsolable Fictional 4woods Brand Loyalist; you could’ve opted to collect every single body and head from Orient industry.


Left, Sayo, taking her earrings off before fighting; right, Sayo -drowsy-, struggling once again with narcolepsy

The Sayo head fits the A.I.NEO im body, and both Sayo and Sayo -drowsy- can go onto the A.I.Doll EX body. What next for 4woods, then? Well, give them a month, and they’ll more than likely have an answer.

Since late October, I’ve been in contact with Jury (pronounced ‘Yuri’), the head of a fledgling Doll studio out of Latvia (not Latveria; that’s Doctor Doom’s homeland), to see if he’s ready to release his creation to the world. Almost! His Dolls are different than the typical silicone fare that everyone’s familiar with, as Jury is building them out of fabric. They’re called Textile Dolls, and they’re rather impressive!



Clare head, 150cm body

Here are some facts about the Textile Doll series: Jury purchased a silicone Doll for himself, but despite the fact that they’re amazing for photography, he thought they were too heavy and could be too cold for funtimes in bed, so he created the Textile Doll. The head is lightweight and made of pressed fabric with glue, with painted makeup and skintone, and has plastic eyes. The body is soft and contains an articulated skeleton over a leather-fabric and Lycra skin, with batting and sponge for musculature.
So far, Jury’s developed two bodies: the Big Bertha (170cm, or 5’6″), which can accomodate the Melissa and Isabelle heads, and the 150cm (5ft) body, which takes the Clare head. Both bodies weigh 5kg, or 11 lbs, and the Big Bertha takes a sz 9 shoe. I’ve yet to find out if that’s an EU sz 9… Incidentally, her fingers and toes are articulated as well, and her lady bits are a Fleshlight. Her breasts and bum are soft; even though they don’t use silicone, but the fabric sags and droops appropriately like silicone. I’ll also be finding out soon what their measurements are, so look forward to that. In fact, Jury’s working on having a website made, so that’ll get a mention and a link once it’s up and running. Not bad, Jury, not bad at all!

And remember how I’d mentioned that Sidore, Elena, and I had a German telly crew visit recently? You can view the (wax) fruits of our labour here, on the site for the telly show Explosiv: Sex-Puppe: Dave braucht keine echten Frauen. Anyone want to have a go at providing a translation, for those of us who don’t sprechen Sie Deutsch fließend? Wartezeit. Warten Sie eine Minute. Ich spreche Deutsch! Dieses ist wunderbar! Es ist, als ob ich immer zu gekonnt habe speak German… o, wait, now it’s gone. DAMNIT *flips table*

EDIT (28 Nov 2013): Alert reader Christian Müller comes through with a translation of the Explosiv video in the comments here, as he knows German like the back of his hand. Or the front of it, for that matter. Thanks, Christian!

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

They hit the Eject button for me / Viva Lost Wages on January 12th, 2010

What d'ye mean, not my real name? on September 26th, 2008

5 have spoken to “Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat? (Nov 2013): Part II”

  1. Dick Cephalo writes:

    Wow! The textile doll looks amazing! I’m really wondering how she would be to photograph. Probably easy to pose. Congrats on the show in Germany!

  2. Patrick writes:

    Lady Gaga is pretty rad and it makes me happy that the current generation has a pop star with actual substance, talent and artistic merit.

    As far as pop music goes in general, I believe this is what the kids are into these days (??)

  3. Davecat writes:

    Dick –
    Good to see you here! Again, I believe! :-)

    We should hopefully know more about Jury’s Textile Doll soon. When he’s not refining them for the debut release, he’s busy working on a painting that’s taking up a bit of his time. You’re familiar with the Lifestyle Of The Artist, so you know how it is…

    And thanks on our Explosiv appearance! Some subtitles would’ve been nice, but that show is aimed at the European market. Perhaps some telly presenters over there will view it and make some enquiries! Shi-chan and Lenka would love to crack the market in Holland!

    Patrick –
    A large part of it is me going ‘you kids don’t know what music is these days’, while shaking my fist from my rocking chair. The best comparison is that Morrissey was railing against pop music and pop singers in an interview once — difficult as that is to believe, but bear with me — but later in the same interview, he praised singers like Sacha Distel and a couple of other Sixties vocalists. The fact that this was brought up in the interview was supposed to highlight how someone like Sacha Distel was, essentially, the Britney Spears of her time, and Chairman Mo was oblivious to that fact, or, knowing him, chose not to acknowledge it.

    Ultimately, pop is pop is pop, I guess, but at least Lady Ga² knows who Jeff Koons is, and she’s not singing about picking up boys at the mall. And then throwing them great distances. Or is she?

    And that version of ‘W******* B***’ by that lass with the tongue condition is the only way I’ll listen to that song. Much like the only way I’ll listen to Justine Beaver is if she’s slowed down 800%.
    What d’ye mean Justine Beaver’s a he? Not with that hair, mate.

  4. Christian Müller writes:

    Here’s what I came up with with my four years of high school German. I didn’t listen to the entire video, but it started out similarly to the text so I’m assuming the content is substantially similar.

    Sex dolls: Dave doesn’t need real women

    This man adores his plastic ladies

    Dave Cat [sic] is actually the sort of man that many women wish for. He cooks for his sweetheart, buys her nice things, reads to her and massages her. To put it briefly: he adores her. The only problematic thing is: the 40-year-old does these things not for a living woman – Dave [sic] is in love with his dolls!

    Dave Cat [sic] lives in Detroit with his “wife” Sidore and her “girlfriend” Elena. The two dolls look and feel like real women — and the 40-year-old treats them like them.

    “I believe the more you treat a doll like a real person and not like a thing, the more you get back from her.”, says Dave [sic]. For 15 years he has been leading a relationship with Sidore. Converted into Euros, the computer expert paid €6,000 for her at the time. And eleven years ago, the two were even married. Nevertheless, his new “girlfriend” Elena, who has lived with him since the end of last year, does not get shortchanged by Dave.

    “They are always there for me. They don’t pass judgement on me. They’re pretty and I always know where they are when I come home.”, says Dave. And further: “In daily situations you always have to have a showdown with people, be it on the street or at work. There’s always conflicts. For example, with your boss, and that’s quite enough when it happens at work, but when that happens at home with your partner, that gets on my nervs. And you can never agree. With a doll you never argue, she never cheats on you and never lies to you.”

    Even though he was obviously hurt in the past, Dave doesn’t rule out the possibility of ever falling in love with a real woman again – but she would have to live with his dolls.

    The photo caption says:
    Sex dolls – a somewhat different alternative to a wife

  5. Davecat writes:

    Danke sehr, Christian! Although they messed things up; the Missus and I have been together thirteen years. And I love how they kept mentioning my age. Hrrm. But still, it’s a pretty straightforward translation of what I’d said, and it’s not as if they tried to force any opinions onto the audience too much. Believe me, we’ve had worse.

    Thanks again! :-)

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