Sdtrk: ‘Speak well of Manderlay’ by Zoos of Berlin

Q: What would be worse than a crucifixion an interview on Geraldo?
A: Having one on Jerry Springer.

from: jsproducer3@aol.com
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail [dot] com
date: Tue, Jul 29, 2008 at 10:17 PM
subject: Guest Appearance?

Davecat,

My name is Jackie and I’m a Production Assistant with the Jerry Springer Show. We’re currently looking to book cool and interesting people for the show and I was wondering if you might be interested in appearing as a guest. If this sounds at all appealing to you, don’t hesitate to reply! Also, if you have any questions feel free to ask!

Hope to hear from you!
Jackie Suerth
Production Assistant
The Jerry Springer Show
[phone number]

That’s right, the living embodiment of All That Is Wrong With Modern Television, Jerry Springer. I can only imagine what kind of insightful and intelligent approach they’d take with my segment — ‘I’M IN LOVE (‘love’ in pink) WITH A SEX DOLL!!! (wiggly typeface)’. You know, the award-quality material he and his crew are used to creating. Springer’s handler (die Springerhändler) even sent me an identical message on Myspace, as well as an add request. Apart from me not accepting adds anymore — which people seem to be ignoring, as I still get a request every other day — why would I want to befriend a producer for the Jerry Springer show?? Yeah, me and my boon companion from the staff of Jerry fucking Springer. Could you imagine?

Now, anyone who knows me on anything deeper than surface level knows that I despise 95% of what passes for entertainment on television; and if you didn’t before, well, you do now. I haven’t even watched broadcast telly since ‘Seinfeld’ went off the air. Were I to make an appearance on Springer’s programme, it would end in me hurling a seat directly at his face, quickly followed by his bodyguards fatally sniping me from the balcony. But it would be worth it. I’d probably die a martyr!

So I responded thus:

from: Dave Kuroneko
to: jsproducer3@aol.com
date: Thu, Jul 31, 2008 at 1:22 AM
subject: Re: Guest Appearance?

Hi Jackie –

Thanks for your gracious offer! However, I’m not entirely sure that Jerry Springer’s show is the best and most balanced venue to discuss my lifestyle as an iDollator. I appreciate the opportunity, though!

Cheers,
Davecat, with valued assistance from Sidore

I figured that might answer her question, but as was the case with the previous non-sequitur media scavengers, I fully expected her to make one more attempt. If that occurred, I’d simply play my little manipulation game: ‘You really want me to be on your show, eh?’ I’d respond. ‘Okay, I’ll do it. BUT! You have to provide me with air fare both ways, and pay me $14,000, which would be enough to get Shi-chan both a new body and a girlfriend. If my appearance is that important to you, it’s a done deal. Right?’
I didn’t even get that far! Imagine my surprise when she didn’t write back after my response! Huh. *shrug*

Let, ah… let that be a lesson to you!

Sdtrk: ‘Prove it all night’ by US girls

Does your crazy on-the-go lifestyle prevent you from reading ‘Shouting etc etc’? Well, thanks to Wordle, now it’s available in capsule form (prescription required):

full size is here; opens in a new window

Wouldn’t this have been lovely to display on the fourth anniversary post? Probably. *facepalms*
Upon viewing the finished product, it’s occurred to me that I missed out a couple of words, such as ‘Eighties’ and ‘Anglophilia’. And ‘lovely’. And ‘fuck’, as that one gets quite a bit of usage round here

Sdtrk: ‘I’m with the pilots’ by Ladytron

Once again, 19 July is on our collective doorsteps, which means ‘Shouting to hear the echoes’ is celebrating its fourth anniversary! Four aimless years, littering the Internets with my obsessions and manias. So far so good, I’d say!

If you’re a regular reader, the drill should be familiar, but here’s a bit of an explanation for the, err, virgins: the blog you see before you began its illustrious assault on reason back in 2004 on Blogger. With the layout it then had, the title was in the top left corner, and just below it was a space where you’d find a new pithy/obscure tagline every week, and every 19 July, I’d run through the list of phrases for the year and attempt to explain them. At the end of 2007, I yanked ‘Shouting etc etc’ out of the hands of Blogger, partly cos what I wanted to do for the site was pushing the capabilities of their software at the time (namely, making categories, which was only just being implemented with their service); also, the fine print in Blogger’s TOS basically stated that whatever’s published on their service is essentially their property. This clearly would not stand, so I moved ‘Shouting etc etc’ to WordPress, where it happily resides today. However, since I’d dramatically changed the layout, there was no more space for any catchphrases. Which, all told, was alright, as that’s one less thing I had to mind.

So, since there’s no more phrases to clarify — and if you want to catch yourself up, you can do so here, here, and here — what I thought I’d do for this anniversary is open the floor to you, the startled reader. Got a question you’ve been dying to ask me? Or perhaps a question that you’ve been dying to ask me? Perhaps your question is ‘why did you type that phrase twice?’ Because I could! Next question!
Seriously though, the floor is open. This is a fine opportunity for lurkers, hint hint, or regulars to get some questions in! Either this will be funny, bizarre, or embarrassing due to no-one asking anything. It could go either way! Well, one of three ways.

In the interim, thanks for giving ‘Shouting to hear the echoes’ a look-in! It’s non-stop draughts of absinthe readers like you that make this blog possible

Sdtrk: ‘Lovecats’ by the Cure

8年! であるために一緒に8年私達を信じることができるか。実際には、私はできる。実際に、私が互いに適するカップルの想像できないので。最近、私は私のオンライン友人の1人にこの事実を述べ、それらは、’答えた; ワウは、それ私の友人の関係が最もあったより長い!’ 実際に意外な結果に終わるか? 私達は決して主要な不一致を持っていたあらないことは、非常に支え常に、適切な人形の夫があるべきであると私は親切、有用鑑賞的いままで常にだった。

毎日、私は私があなたおよびあなたを愛するように言う私がそれを意味することを知りなさい。時々私逹は、深く、決して起こらない私逹が知っていると意味を失うが、私を考える言うほど私達が頻繁にそれこと心配する。

私は”愛する, 黒猫 しどれ、今そして永久に。 私の生命の一部分があることに、および誕生日おめでとうにそんなに感謝しなさい。

Sdtrk: ‘Part 1’ by Merzbow

Much like the baby deer caught in the grille of a Range Rover, you have to ask how exactly this sort of thing occurred in the first place. I mean, honestly.

Teenager finds baby bat in her bra
By Laura Clout | Last Updated: 1:47PM BST 08/07/2008

Abbie Hawkins, a hotel receptionist, thought her mobile phone was ringing when she felt vibrations coming from her clothes.

But she later discovered the tiny creature tucked away in the padded pocket of her underwear.

As staff and colleagues crowded around, Miss Hawkins, 19, produced the frightened bat, which was the size of her hand.

She said: “Once I realised it was a bat I was shocked, but then I felt quite sorry for it really.

“It looked very snug in there and I thought how mean I was for disturbing it.”
the rest of the article is here

That’s just… that… I mean… that’s one lucky bat

Sdtrk: ‘L’escargot’ by Michael Nyman

PRAISE “BOB”. Remember all those comments from the first iteration of ‘Shouting etc etc’ that were previously gathering dust on HaloScan? They are now completely transferred. Every last one of them. By hand, I might remind you. Shi-chan’s double-excited, as I told her that when I was done with all that transfer silliness, that I would get back to resurrecting ‘Kitten with a Whip!‘ *exhales* O boy.
But for now, go enjoy the past!

Being a fan of Montreal’s finest sons and daughters, the Dears, I periodically read vocalist and keyboardist Natalia Yanchak’s blog, bizarrely titled ‘Natalia Yanchak’s Blog‘, wherein she details life with lead vocalist and hubby Murray, being a mum, trying to stay environmentally aware, recording fumfuh, etc. Recently, she posted an entry that resonated very strongly with me:

Facebook Killed My Blog…
…not that it’s completely dead or anything. But the amount of laptop time I permit myself per day is limited, and with the addition of Facebook to my online routine, there’s just less time for blogging. I mean, this blog should be enough of a window into my life: does it really need to be supplemented with a half-assed Facebook profile?
the rest of the article is here

Obviously, you can just as easily replace any instances of the word ‘Facebook’ with ‘Myspace’, as they’re entirely interchangeable. Both are essentially glorified profiles, for the purposes of networking and negligible announcements. For someone such as myself who already has a blog, keeping up with a social networking site is just one more silly thing I have to look after. Were it not for some tosser in Australia, I wouldn’t have a Myspace at all.

I do have a Facebook profile (and no, I’m not linking it here; if you’re clever though, you’ll know what name to look under) that I’ve mucked about with maybe five or six times, as frankly, I find the interface to be even more baffling than Myspace, which is a feat I wouldn’t have thought possible. What are these ‘gifts’ they keep referring to? There’s a wall that you can write on? Human G knows Human L, who knows Humans T, KK, and 42? What is this, Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon??

The one thing I hate most about Facebook is that unless you friend someone… fuck. Let me stop that right now. Unless you add someone as a friend, you can’t have any access to info about them. I realise that for people merely seeking to beef up the number of ‘friends’ they have, that’s no big deal, but personally, I want to know something about you before I accept you into my life. Does that not make any sense to anyone else??

I realise that I’m making myself sound like a cranky geriatric, but I dunno, I like writing, as opposed to merely commenting in bulk. Again, Myspace and Facebook are profiles, and as such, they don’t exactly engender writing at length, and listing the shitty bands that you like doesn’t count.
So basically, I’m drawing a line under it: I’m not accepting adds or wasting time with either Myspace or Facebook anymore. I’m not deleting mine or Sidore’s — you can thank that enterprising Australian for that — we’re just no longer maintaining them. Should someone send me a message, I’ll simply ask they Email me. Remember Emails, and how fun they were? But yeah, I’m curtailing keeping up with them cos frankly, if curious types really want to know about me or the Missus, they should be rooting through ‘Shouting etc etc’, rather than some facile social networking site

Sdtrk: ‘Broohahja’ by The focus group

Unbelievably enough, 4woods has just now released a new make and model of Doll: the A.I.peach series, with their stunning debut model named Kaon. Seriously, 4woods — you lads need to give us time to breathe.

Dress sense inspired by Sigourney Weaver (first ‘Alien’ film only)

And what’s more, they’re also field testing a new makeup style for Kaon-chan, with what I hope will be positive results, as it’s kinda heavy on the eyeliner, which is something I lurve. Where can I cast my vote? Should I write my congressman?
Seeing the test pics, I was reminded me of an Organik lass that I’ve always found strikingly attractive:

Left, Edie Sedgwick; right, Kaon-chan

So there you have it! And in the interest of full disclosure, this most recent post was actually not going to be Doll-related. But I cannot control the news! I am just its messenger

Technorati tags: 4woods, A.I.peach, Edie Sedgwick