Circus Minimus

typed for your pleasure on 27 October 2007, at 1.22 am

Sdtrk: ‘Dokumenti II’ by Laibach

Were it less jaw-droppingly non sequitur, I wouldn’t be writing about it. But dig what was in my Inbox a day or so ago:

from: “Tracy, Kevin”
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail.com
date: Oct 25, 2007 5:19 PM
subject: Inquiring about an interview with Geraldo Rivera

Hello Davecat,

My name is Kevin Tracy and I am writing to you on behalf of Geraldo Rivera. This weekend on our show we are doing a story that goes along with the release of the film “Lars and The Real Girl” and in researching the story I came across an interview you did with Marie Claire magazine. I was wondering if you might be interested in doing an interview with Geraldo Rivera this weekend on his program “Geraldo At Large”. The interview would center around your relationship with your doll Sidore. If you are interested in coming on the program this weekend please feel free to reply to this message or give me a call at my desk, [phone number]. I will be leaving the office for the evening soon but can be reached on my blackberry by e-mail. Thanks in advance for considering this request and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
Kevin Tracy

————————————–
Kevin Tracy
Production Assistant
Geraldo At Large
blah blah blah address

Yeah, that’s exactly what I said. After shaking my head vigorously in order to clear it, I responded,

from: pulsedemon [at] gmail.com
to: “Tracy, Kevin”
date: Oct 26, 2007 3:24 AM
subject: Re: Inquiring about an interview with Geraldo Rivera

Hi Kevin –

Well, thanks for the offer! I feel I should mention, though:

1) I live in Michigan — New York’s a bit of a ways away for me,
2) That Marie Claire UK article was completely unauthorised — I wasn’t actually interviewed, the story was engineered based on other articles I genuinely participated in,
3) I’m only doing television interviews that will compensate me for my time. Being Davecat is a full-time job, but the pay is awful, and
4) Unfortunately, when I hear the name ‘Geraldo Rivera’, I think ‘sensationalist media’. Being crucified on national television because of my preference for Synthetik women isn’t exactly on my list of life goals.

Thanks, though!

Cheers,
Davecat, with valued assistance from Sidore

In the interest of disclosure, this is what he wrote back:

from: “Tracy, Kevin”
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail.com
date: Oct 26, 2007 10:02 AM
subject: RE: Inquiring about an interview with Geraldo Rivera

Hi Davecat,

Thanks for getting back to me. I fully understand your position however, please let me try to put some of your fears to rest. First off Geraldo has not been that sensational media type of personality since the mid-90’s. Geraldo is now a serious journalist who has traveled to Iraq, Hurricane Katrina, and recently just got back from covering the wildfires in California. Secondly in coming on the show you would not be berated, or as you put it “crucified”, at all. We are simply interested in learning about the lifestyle choices that people such as you make especially due to the fact that this type of lifestyle has been brought into the spotlight with the release of “Lars and The Real Girl” in theaters today. Finally, as far as compensation goes, as we are a news organization, we are unable to pay for interviews. However, we would be more than willing to fly you out to New York and put you up in a hotel for the night as I definitely understand that Michigan is quite a distance away. If any of this at all helps to change your mind about coming on our program please feel free to reply back to me and let me know before the end of the day. Thanks again and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
Kevin

Yeah. What??

Tempting as being flown out to New York to be on telly is — my Organik Roomie said ‘I’d totally come with you’ — one, it was incredibly short notice (two days before filming?? Thanks for enquiring ahead of time, lads), and two, it’s Geraldo. I’m sorry, newfound credentials aside, once a sensationalist, always a sensationalist, as far as I’m concerned. And gee, isn’t he affiliated with FAUX, err, FOX News? Heh, that’s even more of a reason for me to steer clear. ‘No no no, we wouldn’t crucify you, we’d just publically accuse you of being an unpatriotic deviated prevert!’ Plus, I dunno; if I decided to go through with it, I’d really have to repress my urge to call him Jerry Rivers. Yeah, I know it’s not true, but still.

Is it too much to ask to have a decent, unbiased chat show host (preferably one from a foreign land) ask after an interview? Maybe willing to foot the flight and lodging bill, and contribute generously to the ‘Buy Sidore a New Body’ Fund?? Honestly, I don’t ask for much

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

Circus Minimus: It's just getting weirder now on May 2nd, 2008

Phil and his short-term memory loss / A stunning likeness! on February 3rd, 2011

10 have spoken to “Circus Minimus”

  1. Miss Hyde writes:

    but, it was new york! But i understand how you feel about not wanting to be exploited, but… New work!

  2. Mahtek writes:

    Take your time to think about it, after all, they gave you two whole days! It’s not like anyone on earth does anything but wait at the ready to jump at the chance to be on TV. Even if his intent wasn’t to smear you, he has to play to the Fox audience which is mostly conservative Christians. They are not a group that will take kindly to a pro-synthetic presentation.

    Best to save your efforts for a venue that would cast synthetics in a positive, if not at least neutral, light.

    Miss Hyde,
    New York will be there whether Geraldo is or not! And it would be so much more enjoyable if he could see it while not regretting the interview that he just did. A long, expensive trip from where you are, a short commuter flight or long bus trip from here. Actualy, it’s driveable taking a shortcut through Canada.

  3. Miss Hyde writes:

    you have a good point there mahtek, all things weighed up, new york’s not worth it! AND i just realised that he wouldn’t get payed :o! So yeah, i agree with mahtek 🙂

  4. SafeTinspector writes:

    His recent trip to Iraq was widely considered to be the same self-aggrandizing bullshit as he always makes, was widely ridiculed, and got him kicked out of Iraq for disclosing troop locations or some such.

    Him and his attractive push-broom of a moustache don’t deserve your thoughtful telegenic presence.

    You made the right decision, mate.

  5. PBShelley writes:

    Good choice, DC. It will be interesting to see what they do with the story. I wouldn’t be surprised if they settled for a subject who is only too eager to be on television, and whose opinions will be used to bolster their position, which being FOX news’ won’t be favorable to the likes of us. Not sure whether Geraldo has a RD in his closet but I doubt it.
    Just went by FOX news’ page and while I noted that he’s interviewing Ah-nuld this weekend, I also tried to imagine you and Sidore on THAT page…
    Nah. You both deserve better 😉
    Anyway, let’s see if anyone can catch the RD show, if he does one. I suspect it won’t be on the radar for long anyway. What’s the public’s attention span these days? Like Seventeen Seconds?
    LOL
    Regards,
    PBS, Lily, & Eden

  6. Nathan Detroit writes:

    I can’t stand Geraldo! Don’t fall for it Davecat!

  7. Davecat writes:

    Nathan Detroit –
    Well, I could see why you hate him. His chair-throwing skills put all of us to shame.

    PBS and girlies –
    Seventeen seconds, you say? Heh heh. 🙂
    Turns out that unfortunately (did you see my air quotes, there?) the programme was cancelled. *shrug* I’m sure ol’ Pornstache can pitch his freakshow tent elsewhere…

    SafeT
    It’s a cookie duster, man!
    Although you know you’re a Top Shelf Fuckup when they kick you out of Iraq. There’s something to be said for that…

    Mahtek –
    ‘It’s not like anyone on earth does anything but wait at the ready to jump at the chance to be on TV.’
    I like that statement, but it’s also pretty sad, cos there are a staggering amount of people who want to be on telly. How many of them, though, have anything worthwhile to say? HINT: it’s a number in the double-digits.

    Hyde-chan –
    Like Mahtek said, New York’s not going anywhere.
    TOMORROW’S HEADLINE: ‘Entire city of New York abducted by aliens, buildings and all’
    It could happen!

  8. Mahtek writes:

    TOMORROW’S HEADLINE: UPDATE: The aliens left Geraldo. It would happen!

  9. TomasCoSauce writes:

    Whenever I hear or read the name “Geraldo Rivera”, I think: Douche-Bag

  10. Davecat writes:

    Empty, or Filled to capacity?

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