Colour me Davecat

typed for your pleasure on 3 August 2007, at 2.23 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Cruel when complete’ by Dome

Heh. Everyone wants to be me, yet no-one wants to be me.
It seems I have a MySpace page! Apparently, I’ve not only taken leave of my senses and made one (it’s on public record that I despise everything about MySpace), but now Sidore-chan and I live in Australia. Also, I’ve changed my birthday, and am now a Cancer, too!

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but frankly, this is just stupid. At least they didn’t try to imitate my style of writing; they just wholesale copied and pasted my details and picture into that page. Fucking brilliant.
In summation, if you see a MySpace profile named ‘Davecat’ and the URL doesn’t read ‘www.myspace.com/artificialist’, it’s not me, it’s an impostor.

So my quandary is: do I make an actual MySpace profile, or do I just kick Tom Anderson in the bollocks over and over until he deletes that account? Or both? I’ll mull it over at work this eve

EDIT (1.57 am): 50% rectified. It’s a travesty that this sort of thing is even occurring.
I honestly don’t understand the mentality of people who create MySpace profiles for individuals who are either long dead, or without the permission of those that are still living. If I’m not mistaken, one of the musicians I like — either William Bennett or Boyd Rice — had to make a profile because some tosser already made claiming to be him. And I’m entirely sure Friedrich Nietzsche would use MySpace. You could totally be one of his Top Ten Friends, dude! I can completely picture the man who declared that God is dead leaving a message on someone’s MySpace page: ‘yo sup fag lol u goin 2 see the vans warped tour?’ Yeah, best fucking buds with Nietzsche. As I’m fond of saying, I really don’t understand people.

Anyway, like I said on the profile itself, you can request an add if you so desire, but it might take some time, as I’m sure you’ve sussed that maintaining that page isn’t going to be a high priority for me. I can promise you, however, that there won’t be a surplus of flashing .gifs, but there might just be an audio ambush. You’ve been warned!
Now to see about that errant Doppelgänger of mine… *loads Mauser*

EDIT (11.34 pm, 05 Aug): Now the Missus has an official one, too. We thought it would be a good idea to circumvent any further chicanery

EDIT (1.27 am, 07 Aug): Ohhh, so sad, too bad for the impostor. Let that be a lesson.
Remember kids; when enquiring about Davecat, be sure to ask for the genuine article

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

I am not making this up, vol.1 on July 21st, 2004

I laughed until I cried on August 26th, 2004

12 have spoken to “Colour me Davecat”

  1. Mahtek writes:

    Yes, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But in the world of Myspace, were you can be anything that you ever wished you could be, this putz can’t even dream up his own alter ego. He just did a cut and paste of someone else’s life.

    So how long do you think it will take for the true Davecat fans to realize that this is a mere wanna-be? 😉

    Honestly, I’d have Myspace shut him down, then go to Facebook and wait for the idiot to pop up there, then smack him down again.

  2. barstowmama writes:

    EGADS MAN!!! I bought into that crap and have you as one of my top 10! I knew the Australia thing was pure foolishness, but a lot of the other stuff rang true so I didn’t think too much more about it.

    I hate feeling tricked about. This sucks!

    But I still love you and Shi-chan…would hate to have to delete your photo, but I will if need be.

  3. Miss Hyde writes:

    WELL. I didn’t know that. Which is not surprising seeing as I have hated myspace for years because everyone loved it. Me and a friend have an anti myspace club… And the only time i went on there was to talk to an ex who dumped me on there… Anyway enough rambling. Theses only one solution. SPAM THE FUCKERS! 😉

  4. barstowmama writes:

    Hey Dave (Hi Si-chan!)!
    Check out your supposed myspace page. I had to put that person on blast and accuse them of identity fraud. Let’s see how they like them apples.

  5. barstowmama writes:

    Sorry…the cat is missing from Davecat!

  6. paperballet writes:

    i watched you on a Google re-broadcast. i just thought… you were a lot like me. though, i am a female, organic; still. it wasn’ anything sexual. well, it was maybe hypnotically sexual in this hidden, particularly strange, vague way. but nothing overt. it wasn’t even your Shi-chan, so much as the meticulous way your music was organized behind the bed. books, Cds, what-have-you. it was very OCD. i understood that need for sameness. as oyu said, the need for constant…. something. i am sure i sound rather non-charming, which is fine. i just wanted to tell you someone in this weird big world has thought a lot about you in the last few days. you made me feel not so alone.

  7. Miss Hyde writes:

    As for the imposter I suggest lots of gun powder and guns and… Hay! Its not fair that you’re getting all the fun! Can I join in? Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee? Hyde x

  8. barstowmama writes:

    Oy Davecat!
    Thanks for the add to your real “myspace” page…The avatar is hysterical. I made him using Legos. Just kidding.

    Hi Si-chan!

  9. SafeTinspector writes:

    ???
    So what was the point? It doesn’t seem effective as a form of character assassination, nor does it seem as if it could have enriched the impostor.

    One of my old blog-mates, who went by the name Transience, had a problem with an impostor that was trying to trash their rep. Sent nasty emails to her friends and coworkers in her name and whatnot.

    But I… I just don’t get this one.

    Davecat-from-down-unda’!

  10. SafeTinspector writes:

    Says your a master craftsman, too.
    Hey, did you find any evidence of this person posting any comments in your name anywhere?

  11. ray rentell writes:

    But then we all know there can only be ONE DC in the world (thank goodness)

    But it does begger the question why, just put it down to being Aussy, too much sun and sheep shagging.

  12. Davecat writes:

    Ray –
    Good to hear from you again, as always! 🙂
    In my Myspace research (I was sure to take a chemical bath afterwards, don’t worry), I saw one profile who had seven or so friends, and five of them were named Davecat.

    And not all Aussies are sheep-shaggers, Bruce! Just the ones who can’t get sheilas! Don’t be a pommie, and finish your Foster’s lager.
    Hey! Aren’t platypus and his Dolls Kimiko and Yoshiko Australians? No offense, guys!

    SafeT
    Yeah, you’re right. It’d be one thing for him to make me seem like a total tosser, but it’s just like, ‘no, I’ll assimilate your details and now I am you‘. Very odd. I don’t get people.
    Although I did giggle at the Master Craftsman occupation. I am a Maker of Objects and Matter, or something.

    barstowmama –
    Thanks for calling the Anti-Davecat out on his chicanery! I’m sorry that you thought that was me, though… I’ve updated my ‘About me’ page with my Livejournal and Myspace profiles. You can tell how proud I am of them by the fact that they’re 1) bare bones, and 2) not linked on the front of my blog…
    Incidentally, Shi-chan has a Lego avatar as well, of course. She got hers before I did. 🙂

    Miss Hyde –
    Sure, bring your shotgun and hatchet. But then, you always bring your shotgun and hatchet, don’t you? 😉

    Mahtek –
    Oddly enough, when stealing reclaiming friends from ‘Davecat’s’ Friends list (sending out add requests ad infinitum), I was checking everyone’s profile to try to discern those who genuinely thought that was me and wanted to be my friend, and those who were just shitwicks. I found that quite a few of ‘Davecat’s’ friends were also in Australia, in generally the same area. Some dumb cunt probably saw ‘Guys and Dolls’, decided to look up my info on Google, copied and pasted etc into a Myspace profile, and all in aid of pranking his classmates. Like you said, he’s not even clever enough to come up with his own alter-ego. I don’t get people.

    paperballet –
    Wow. Thanks for the heartfelt sentiment! I’m glad that you got something positive out of the documentary. As I’m fond of stating, being alone is really not so bad, cos it implies that you’re doing so on your own terms, but being lonely — voluntarily wanting to be around others, but you can’t for whatever reason — is absolutely horrible. It’s wonderful to know that there are others like you, and you’re not entirely isolated from everything forever.

    I don’t know if I’m OCD, but frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised. I do have a love of Order and Consistency, so depending on the diagnosis, I’m sure I’d fall into the OCD category. I’m fine with that, cos I can’t really handle chaos or randomness — my tastes in music notwithstanding. 😉

    Good to hear from you! Drop by anytime!

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