Circus Minimus: supplemental

typed for your pleasure on 1 November 2007, at 12.16 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Waterloo’ by ABBA

Unbloodybelievable. Just when you thought that Gerrrraldo soliciting me was the Pinnacle of Unlikely, this was sent to my Myspace Inbox:

From: CBS Paramount (
Date: Oct 29, 2007 5:04 PM
Subject: Dr. Phil Show!

Hi Davecat!

My name is Heather Mansfield and I work for the Dr. Phil show here in Los Angeles. I have been trying to get a hold of you because we are extremely interested in doing a story about you and others like you who are Real Doll lovers. If you are at all interested in this, please let me know! My number here is [phone number].

Thanks so much!
Heather Mansfield

‘Trying to get a hold of you’. Like I’m extraordinarily difficult to contact or something.
What else could I say? I mean, apart from

From: Davecat
Date: Oct 31, 2007 12:10 AM
Subject: RE: Dr. Phil Show!

Hey Heather –

Thanks for the offer, but I’m afraid I must decline. For one, I don’t really know who Dr Phil is — I’ve not watched broadcast television since ‘Seinfeld’ went off the air — but somehow I don’t think that being on national television with people who are more than likely either out to ‘convert’ me, or make a mockery of my preference in partners, would be the best decision I’ve made all week. Besides, I’m really no longer doing interviews for free, and I’m fairly certain that CBS isn’t exactly willing to ante up air fare both to and from LA, as well as lodging, and at least half the cost of a new RealDoll (Sidore is in need of a new body). I could of course be wrong, but somehow I doubt it…

Don’t be too disappointed! I turned down appearing on Geraldo’s little media circus for the same reasons!

Davecat, with valued assistance from Sidore

Strangely, she’s not responded! Granted, she might be awaiting a phone call instead of another Email, but I just can’t see myself calling LA just to say ‘sorry, no, and should I have heard of this Dr Phil person?’
Truth be told, I do know who he is, but I’m not too keen on his work. If you’re a legitimate psychiatrist/counselor/witch doctor, somehow I think you’d be concentrating more on private consultations with your patients than being a high-profile media personality. But that’s just me. Tsukihime compared him (favourably) to Oprah, at which point I think I actually made a gagging sound.

Like I always say in instances like this, I was spoiled by having my first television appearance conducted with the wonderful Elisabeth Alexandre, as she and I corresponded via Email for almost three months before she asked if I’d like to be a part of ‘Eves de silicone’ for the public telly station France 3 back in 2001. (Yes, Sidore and I have been on television several times prior to ‘Guys and Dolls’. Hit up ‘Shouting etc etc’s search engine *points to sidebar* if you’re curious, as I’m too lazy to link them right now) Her approach was like good dating: get to know the person first, feel them out, then ask them out. ‘Dr’ Phil and sensitive investigator Geraldo are like ‘Say babe, you look interesting. Wanna come back to my place and fuck?’ Some people don’t mind that, obviously, but I’m not one of them. Errr, it depends on who’s asking. But my point is that a little research on me and iDollator culture before asking after an interview is pretty damned important…

Miss Hyde had brought up an interesting question recently — will there be a similar wave of hype for ‘Lars etc etc’ over in the UK? Will it even be screened in the UK? Somehow I don’t picture it as being such a tremendous affair as it is here, as being a Doll owner or lover isn’t as widespread (yet) as it is in the States, but there’s always a chance…
You know who I think it’d be fun to be interviewed by, should Britain decide to start making discrete enquiries? Jonathan Ross. Going by what shows I’ve seen of his, namely all three episodes of Americana (his documentary series on American midwestern culture) and the entire run of Japanorama (his loveletter concerning all things Japan), I think he’d be one of the more suitable candidates — he’s a self-confessed otaku, and he has a uniquely distinctive image and style, consisting mostly of baggy dress suits in unusual colours. When Nick and Tanya were filming the Missus and I, they’d mentioned that the concept of RealDolls might well be up his alley. Huh. Up to anything next Spring, Wossy?

Now would any other ill-advised opportunists like to put a bid in? The line forms to your left

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

Circus Minimus: Here we go again! on January 21st, 2008

Circus Minimus: Hallo Murray! on February 20th, 2009

14 have spoken to “Circus Minimus: supplemental”

  1. Nathan Detroit writes:

    I would never trust Dr. Phil or Geraldo.

  2. Mahtek writes:

    Quote DR Phil,

    “You, have a problem!”

    Passing judgement is his stock in trade.

    I’ve not seen his show many times, but he always can find something wrong with everybody.

    Yet another bullet, dodged.

  3. PBShelley writes:

    Holy shit on a stick! They’re all coming out of the woodwork now. Good for the woodwork I say!

    Ever since Meghan asked whether I’d consider going on Oprah (I assume this was regarding my book, not for the doll), I often have fantasized about how I would handle dealing with him. Yes, my fantasies are THAT involved LOL (Hey, you have to be rpeapred for everything, right?)

    I always figured that he would be the one in the forefront salivating over reforming us, marginalising us, or ridiculing us, at which point I’d have likely punched him full in the face, just because these idiots need to be put down themselves for the excess stupidity and hate-mongering they sprew and provoke. Hateful, hating people operating under the delusion of grandeur that self-proclaimns their sainthood. *retch*

    That would not have gone well at all, at all… I just have a real low tolerance for shucksters and cowboys just looking for another way to mock people, and with carte blanche.

    He would have been FAR WORSE than Geraldo, if you can imagine that… *shudders*

    I suspected that he’d be sniffing around, too. Good on ya, DC!

    NEXT UP: Ann Coulter!

    I think now, at this point, we can kind of sit back and be much more selective. We’ve gained a higher ground, or at least a ledge, and don’t need to be knocked off it by some twit(s).

    But let us monitor the situation and his show schedule (if anyone can stand to; I can’t LOL), and see who he drags out to humiliate…

    Glad you evaded the danger zone, DC. We have to be careful about whom we expose our loved ones to 😉

    PBS, Lily, Eden, and angel Soony

  4. Miss Hyde writes:

    I’m sooooo glad you didn’t do dr. Phil ITZA TRAP! I often catch is show on when i’m home ‘sick’ and i’m not only bored to tears, but sickened by the way he tore apart some woman or other. Needless to say. I don’t watch it anymore and i’m glad you didn’t fall into the trap o.o! I think it would be good if you were interviewed by paul o’grady or see you on the ant and dec show, nice family shows!

  5. Miss Hyde writes:

    (WHA? It got rid of half of my message again!) AHEM! As i was saying. Or you could go on ‘have i got news for you!’ Now that would be funny! I can’t think of much more. I don’t watch much tv. But look! *points upwards* Its my name! In the main post thing! I feel loved! Lol! See ya. Hyde X

  6. SafeTinspector writes:

    Dear Danielcat,

    I represent the Felix and Otto show, a talk and variety show centered on a life in Christ and in alignment with His teachings.

    We would be very interested in interviewing you on our show, and have been trying hard to contact you and others like you.

    Of course, we promise to treat you and your infernally idolatrous plaything with the respect you deserve and will be very sensitive to what little inhuman feelings a cretin like you could possibly have.

    Please write back if you’re interested, and we’re all praying for you!

  7. Miss Hyde writes:


  8. Dr. Goldfoot writes:

    Ciao Davecat,

    Dr. Phil? Bwaahahahaha!

    Re the Lars film showing in the UK, I have not seen any foreign release info except for Canada and Singapore — not Japan or the UK? Go figure…

  9. Davecat writes:

    Dr Goldfoot, Ph.D –
    Well, that’s disappointing and nonsensical! I mean, do they know that the UK has a passel of iDollators? And let us not discuss Japan — if there were no other Doll owners in that nation, Prof.Sakai and Ta-bo-san could certainly make up the numbers…

    Hyde-chan –
    Knowing my fate is to be with you. WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA

    You know, Sidore and I would love to appear on the Feliz and Autobot Show! I feel that we would have an awful lot to teach you and your audience. Mainly sexual positions, and bold new swear words! Also, Shi-chan would have to bring her Hello Kitty ‘shoulder massager’, and I would take my lucky machete. It’s for luck!

    Hope to hear from you soon!

    PBS and ladeeeeez –
    Heh, I find it funny that Sidore, being made mostly of silicone and with a manufactured personality, has more of a personality and is 1000% more female than Ann Coulter.
    O Ann, you shouldn’t exist. And yet you do! Thus further proof that there is no God.

    You’re right; now that the pendulum has once again swung our way, we can be selective about where we place our soapbox, which is always a pleasure. Basically, being on a twat like Dr Phil’s show would be like a Jewish person facing the Wehrmacht, armed only with a revolver. I can’t honestly conceive of how they thought I would say yes to appearing in a venue like that. I suppose it’s like what Mahtek said about Gerry Rivers — most people out there are just waiting for a chance — any chance — to appear on telly, no matter what the outcome may be. Sorry, squire! I’ve been on telly more times than you’ve had decent haircuts! O SNAP

    Mahtek –
    DR PHIL: ‘You have a problem!’
    DAVECAT: ‘Yes, and I’m on its television show.’ *grabs chair, hits Dr Phil in face*
    ‘Problem solved!’

    Nathan Detroit –
    Those videos are enlightening and horrifying at the same time. I nominate the illustrious doctor as a candidate for Two Minutes Hate.

  10. ButtonJessie writes:

    True, old Wossy used to be quite an avante-guarde, quick witted, sharp suited little mofo, but I’ve got to tell you he’s gone rapidly down hill over the last three years – I can guarantee that if he ever interveiwed you he’d ask you if he could ‘use’ sidore, and make a snide dig about cleaning her out first. This is not a million miles away from what he said to Peter Andre about his wife (glamour model) Jordan. *shudder* I think he’s turning into his brother, the decidedly slimy gutter-snipe Paul Ross.
    If you were to be interviewed over here, I’d suggest Russel Brand – a surreal English fopp, who is quite cheeky, but never insulting.

    Peep his bizaare acceptance speech here:

    Actually, Wossy interveiwed Brand recently and he wasn’t too cringe. Peep that too on youtube if the mood takes you.


  11. ButtonJessie writes:

    Your crazy website knocked my embedded youtoob vid out!

  12. Davecat writes:

    I’ve just heard tell of the cheeky Russell Brand, but actually seeing him, especially with that deranged acceptance speech of his, confirms his Coolness Factor. Anyone that collides combines Marc Bolan with Capt. Jack Sparrow in an effort to bring back foppishness to modern culture is worth watching!…

    I can’t believe he actually poked Wossy’s todger, though. 😐

  13. princessrachel writes:

    Good for you sweetie. Fuck that weirdo. *ahem* I realize I have no business saying that, but he IS. It breaks my heart when I see people profiting off of love not deemed “normal” by mainstream. Sometimes I want to scoop up cross-over models and say NOOOOOOOooo! Don’t do it!!! Real and Synthetiks! The thing they don’t realize is, we CAN have/be love, and they make it a commodity…

  14. Davecat writes:

    Princess Rachel –
    ‘The thing they don’t realize is, we CAN have/be love, and they make it a commodity…’
    I like that. I have to use that somewhere. 🙂

    People like (Not a doctor) Phil and his slimy compatriots profit off of peoples’ need to feel superior to others, even though they themselves probably have a number of skeletons in their own closet. ‘I may be a horrible parent and beat my wife, but at least I don’t fuck Dolls’; that sort of ‘thinking’. That, in and of itself is pathetic, but when you have so-called experts trying to make a living off that sort of behaviour, that’s even more despicable…

    O, and if you think my encounters with Heraldo and Herr Doktor Phil were odd, as of this writing, I’m about to hit a trifecta. 🙂 Watch this space!

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