Sdtrk: ‘I believe’ by My bloody valentine

It was quite a fun week-end I’d been a part of this past… week-end! There was another Doll Congress to be had, as our crowd hadn’t had one since May of last year. What fresh hell be this Doll Congress, you ask? (‘Fresh hell’?) A Doll Congress is really a small confluence of iDollators from the tri-state area: Euchre and myself from Michigan, Mahtek and Noquiexis from Ohio, and CJD, occasionally accompanied by his Organik wife Cat, from London, Ontario. Of course, Ontario isn’t a state, but we’re working on it.* During one instance we were joined by Hans, whose RealDoll wife Bee you’d undoubtedly seen on TLC’s ‘My Strange Addiction: Still Addicted?’. In the event that we decide to meet up at CJD’s house to see his lovely RealDoll lass Sandy, it’s called a Doll Parliament. Do you see what we did there?
So as we hadn’t had a proper Congress due to various factors (jobs / loss of jobs / moving / shite weather), we somehow managed to dovetail our schedules to meet on Saturday, nine months into 2011. Not only that, we’d be joined by Azusa Itagaki, a Japanese photographer based in Stockholm who joined us for DolLApalooza back in July. Although she doesn’t have a Synthetik companion of her own, her fascination and appreciation for them makes her an iDollator, and she’d be conducting a photo shoot of Sidore and I in our natural habitat on Sunday. One-stop shopping!

Saturday morning, Azu-chan hopped on a Detroit-bound train from Chicago to join us, while CJD and Cat drove from the polar wastes of Canada, and Mahtek, Noquiexis, and Noquiexis’ affictitious sweetie Feodora motored in as well. As we’d be meeting at Euchre’s, but he’d be working until 4.30 that day, we were to converge at Sila’s, an Italian restaurant, wait for Euchre to join us, then head round to his. Now, this plan ultimately worked, but I’ll tell ya; the hoops we had to jump through.
First of all, none of us realised until about a week before this was due to go down that 19 – 21 August was the week-end of that ridiculous goddamned Woodward Dream cruise. I’m not going to bitch about the Dream cruise, cos I’ve done it before, but those of us in Michigan were hoping that the bloated traffic of bloated Dream cruisers wasn’t going to prevent any of us from getting where we needed to go. Also, Azu-chan’s train was due to arrive in Royal oak at 2.30pm, whereupon I’d pick her up, and we’d head round to Sila’s. Unfortunately, Mother Nature had other plans, as her train arrived at a quarter to 5. We’d had severe weather alerts, and it was utterly pissing down, to the point where the train was only legally allowed to travel at a certain speed. Heh; this is why no-one takes trains any more. Basically, the storm arrived a wee bit ahead of Azusa, cos as I was heading out to collect her, the sky broke; thunder, lightning strikes, near-zero visibility, the lot. Luck, however, was on our side, as we all managed to make it to Sila’s, and with no loss of life!

Having eaten our respective dishes — Mahtek had some sort of pasta that was roughly the size of a full-grown Corgi — we made our way through pleasant post-rain weather round to Euchre’s swinging pad, hauling Feodora in her crate with us. Thank Elisha Otis his apartment has a lift, is all I can say.

RealDoll Samantha, Lovable Doll Monica, and Anatomical Doll Feodora

It was the first time CJD and Cat had met Feodora, and it was the first time Azusa met Feodora, as well as Euchre’s Samantha and Monica, so it was rather eventful for us all. Not only had Azu-chan met a cluster of us during DolLApalooza, but she’d spent time round at Everhard‘s in England, Prof.Sakai‘s in Japan, and round at the home of a French iDollator who I’m unfamiliar with who lives with Emy, a Mecadoll. Just a few months ago, she’d exhibited the photos she’d taken in Stockholm for the gallery show ‘Inside the Doll House‘, which received mostly positive reactions from viewers, and she’d possibly be doing something similar later in Italy this year.
After several agreeable hours, Euchre gave us the bum’s rush from his home, as most of our party had two- to three-hour drives to get through. Another fun meeting, and with good company besides!

Save for Azu-chan and I spending half an hour driving round my neighbourhood in an attempt to find a restaurant that was 1) open Sunday morning and 2) serving food — I was desperately unaware of these things, as under normal circumstances, I don’t leave our flat on Sundays — we spent the majority of the day taking multiple photos of myself and Shi-chan, but it also afforded me the opportunity to get behind the camera and snap pics of both lasses together. I figured since Azusa had modelled with a couple of Everhard’s ladies, that she wouldn’t be averse to doing so with my wife. And it made for a sexy approach!

She crashed round Deafening silence Plus, which worked out well, cos we were awake until 3am on Saturday and 4am on Sunday, talking about art, growing up with isolationist tendencies, the iDollator community and the various manufacturers, her global travels, and post-punk bands… we had an enormous number of ideas, views, and experiences in common. I introduced her to Lindsay Anderson’s ‘if….‘ and Hiroshi Ishiguro’s Actroid series, and she hepped me to the Russian band Утро and the Swedish film ‘Vaxdockan‘, so I’d say it was a pretty equal exchange. Overall, not only did Azusa have a keen photographic eye, and a relaxed approach to the various interview questions she had for me, but she’s an awesome person to be around.

Unfortunately, all good things etc etc; Monday afternoon saw us saying our farewells, as she had to catch her flight to LA, then fly out to England the next day for a while, then back to Stockholm. Jetsetters man, I’m tellin’ ya. As Azusa had loads of fun with Sidore-chan, me, and everyone she met in our iDollator crowd, she definitely wants to come and hang out with us again! Undoubtedly after getting at least six uninterrupted months of sleep, but neverthless

*Making Ontario a state would improve the United States, but diminish the Ontarians**
**What fresh hell does one call a person living in Ontario? Ontarians? Ontontites? Ontarontans? Sontarans?

Sdtrk: ‘First prize (Live in Glasgow, 1982)’ by Strawberry switchblade

What d’ye know, this post is actually on time this month! Or… is it?? (HINT: it is)

+ Phoenix studios, the offshoot company to Abyss creations (think of them as The Grey Area to Abyss’ Mute records) have made a new Boy Toy C-series Doll available, not only for purchase, but also for love. Meet Cadence!

photo by Stacy Leigh

The C-series answers the question I’d once had about what course of action Phoenix would take once they ran out of months and seasons in their original ‘Calendar girls’ and ‘Seasons’ lines: the C stands for Customisable. Meaning their appearance isn’t as prescribed like the other lines, and with a multitude of options, the sky’s the limit.
The name Cadence didn’t make any sense to me at first, but once I realised that the other models in the C-series had the music-based names of Harmony and Melody, then it all fell into place. What Phoenix studios need to do is create three new models and name them Rhapsody, Symphony, and Destiny, thereby allowing any enterprising iDollators who just so happen to be Gerry Anderson fans to buy one of each, and re-enact all their Spectrum Angel fantasies from ‘Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons‘. Extra Cool Points if you ship ’em in their uniforms.

+ I’m fairly certain you’ve seen this by now, as she’s been the subject of various news and/or entertainment websites, but Japanese robotics company tmsuk wanted to improve on their dental training Gynoid Hanako Showa, so they requested the help of longstanding dutch wife manufacturer Orient industry, and the result is the adorable Hanako Showa 2.

Now remember not to confuse Hanako Showa 1 or 2 with Kokoro Co. Ltd.’s Simroid; they’re similar, but not the same. The more Gynoids the better, obviously, but what makes Hana-chan the Second different from her older sister? Orient industry made her face and hands from silicone, as opposed to the stiffer PVC that her predecessor had; plus, thanks to software from Raytron, she now has conversational ability. Hana-chan 2 also has a mouth lining that’s moulded as a single piece, a motor-driven head instead of one that was pneumatically powered, and a gag reflex. Ahem.

But did Orient industry redo her feet? This is an Important Question

Her overall aesthetic effect is only slightly marred whenever she closes her mouth, as it’s family-sized for obvious reasons, but apart from that, well done tmsuk, and well done Orient industry! Hopefully they’ll follow up with Hanako Showa 3, wherein she gets more irritated, bored, or nervous the longer you make her wait in the lobby.

+ Speaking, as we were, of Orient industry, it’s Summertime, which can only mean one thing — limited edition yukata matsuri (kimono festival) postcards! Well, .pdfs, actually. Quit your whinging, they’re free.

Left, Tomoko; right, Koyuki

Like I’d said, they’re limited edition, which means they’ll no longer be available after 31 August, so get a wriggle on!

+ Do you recall how Actroid DER2 was a spokesbot for Kincho’s Preshower spray back in 2008? This year, it looks like her sister Actroid Sara, former Aichi World Expo 2005 guide and last seen at iREX back in 2009, has taken up the mantle for a new advert. Nice!

Wolfgang and his wife, Masako, took some valuable minutes out of their day to translate the dialogue, cos they’re pretty fantastic like that:

Actroid Sara: The bug repellent that doesn’t hurt your skin, Preshower! The bug repellent that doesn’t hurt your skin, Preshower! (pause) That’s all I know how to say…
Yuuko: That’s…
Actroid Sara: The bug repellent that doesn’t hurt your skin, Preshower!

Gotta love the little nod and wink to the fact that she has a limited pre-programmed vocabulary, there.
Like I always say, it’s a great start. First, adverts on telly, then a music video, then the move up to a 22min programme, then onto a feature film. Someone has to lead the charge, and Sara-chan’s doing a fine job!…

+ Euchre, my iDollator pal who lives with the distracting Samantha and Monica, sent me a link to this story from the Australian Broadcasting Corporation news site: an article concerning ‘Stephen’ and ‘Andrew’, two iDollators from down under, and their respective silicone paramours.

‘Natasha’ (not her real name), wishing she were in a left-side drive car

Cathleen Maslen from the University of Western Australia has spent time studying the RealDoll subculture and says that despite the sexual marketing behind them, owners do not necessarily perceive their dolls as sexual objects.

“They don’t seem to just function as sex toys – people seem to incorporate [their dolls] into their whole lives sometimes, which is quite amazing,” Dr Maslen says.

“For men who have [dolls] and take them seriously they can develop a whole lifestyle that revolves around them.”

There is no doubt that the owners who take their dolls seriously really love them, she says, and that they have both a huge emotional investment and attachment to them.

“There’s at least one RealDoll owner who has actually married his doll in a public ceremony,” she says.

“[The owners] try to view them as this vibrant alternative to actually having a relationship with a woman.”
the entire article is here

It’s always refreshing to read an article on iDollators and our lifestyle that doesn’t have a condescending or judgemental tone to it. Also, too, to see a medical expert acknowledging that not every iDollator buys a Doll strictly for sexual purposes. ‘Stephen’ and ‘Andrew’, you’re doing right by the rest of us!

+ And finally, we have indisputable proof that Japan is reading my mind: ball-joint stockings. O goodness.

The stockings are missing ankle joints, but they’ll do for starters

The seller, Selfer.net, has sold so many pairs of Spherical Joint Stockings priced at 2,000 yen ($25) per pair, that the nifty nylons currently sold out and customers are being advised they’re on back order. Selfer.net, by the way, is a site that sells clothing and accessories to Japanese schoolgirls… Nope, I’m not surprised either.
taken from this site

Now that’s how you improve on Nature! At least until the prosthetic body industry starts up in earnest, that is

Sdtrk: ‘Dance avoid’ by ADULT.

Well, there are now! Honestly, one month ago there really wasn’t a lot of bits and bobs concerning the world of Synthetiks, so apart from writing a post consisting solely of the sentence ‘DOLLS: go buy one today!!’, the article would’ve looked a bit spare. But now it’s June! Check this lot out:

+ First off, we have everyone favourite walking talking Gynoid, Miim-chan (aka HRP-4C), having a stroll outside of the laboratory she was built in, in Tsukuba, Japan. Cute? She’s automatically cute!

What makes this video significant is that it shows she’s able to walk on rough and uneven surfaces, not just smooth interior floors; she does this through the use of an inverted pendulum control model to maintain her equilibrium. It’s not the sexiest of sashays, but AIST has to start with the basics first. Nevertheless! rrrRowr.

+ Quite interesting: CARIS, the Collaborative Advanced Robotics and Intelligent Systems Laboratory in British Columbia, is conducting a survey regarding human-robot interaction. Their aim is to get a sense of how Organik people perceive and interpret actions performed by both Organiks and Synthetiks. It’s about 15-20 minutes in length, and the results are going towards robotic development, so I’d say it’s definitely worth your time. After all, you can’t whinge about how ‘the uncanny valley’ makes Androids and Gynoids move in an unnatural manner, if you didn’t help to correct it, right?

+ I can’t definitively recall where I found this, but it seems I have a New Favourite Artist, by the name of Yves José Malgorn. Can you guess why?

Left, Android Anatomy 01; right, portrait of Nathos

When he’s not whipping up graphic design for clients, he spends time creating affictitious pin-up models from the not-so-distant future. The thing I like most about his illustrations is their crisp and well-defined lines; if Eighties-art icon Patrick Nagel had turned to mechanical women instead of making covers for Duran Duran, his work would be not dissmiliar to that of Yves. Why not have a look at YM Graphix?

+ Thanks to our friend Mariko Lynn, a winsome RealDoll that Sidore and I often chat with on the Twitter, there’s this tale of a Seattle man who, back in May, received a ticket from a police officer for misusing the HOV lane, as his passenger happened to be an Air Doll. *cue comic trombone*
Humourous as that instance was, fast-forward to this month in Oakville, Ontario: another bloke, another Air Doll, another ticket. Lesson learned: if you’re going to try to get away with that sort of chicanery, you really should use a silicone Doll as your partner-in-crime.

+ Speaking of silicone Dolls, Were You Aware that not only are there a cluster of heart-stoppingly gorgeous new photos of the Yu-ki, Haruhi, Natsuki and Kunika types, modelling the recent A.I.NEO im body, on 4woods‘ website? Well, you are now.

Left, Natsuki, remembering that she’s near-sighted; right, Yu-ki, wishing you would shut the hell up

Not only that, but if you were to place an order for one of their A.I.Dolls, you can have her made with a soft stomach for an additional 30,000 JPY. ‘As of April 2011, using our advance technology, we added a new option of “Soft Stomach Feature” for all our four body types. Not only “breasts”, the area customers touch most, you can now select a soft stomach and enjoy the realistic feel of doll body’, sez the company, it sez. Is that sort of feature worth an additional $372 USD, you ask? Perhaps sir or madame would like to view this video (NSFW)?
When I was in Vegas for AVN last year, I had the opportunity to fondle the boobs of the A.I.Doll that was showcased there, and they were the softest Doll breasts I’d ever felt, ever. I cannot lie; they were like marshmallows, and as I squeezed them over and over, I wept salt tears at their cushiony wondrousness. Keeping that in mind, I’m convinced the new soft stomach will make a wonderful pillow for many a head.

+ American robotics genius David Hanson weighs in on science and technology blog IEEE Spectrum, on the question of ‘Why We Should Build Humanlike Robots‘:

On the tree of robotic life, humanlike robots play a particularly valuable role. It makes sense. Humans are brilliant, beautiful, compassionate, loveable, and capable of love, so why shouldn’t we aspire to make robots humanlike in these ways? Don’t we want robots to have such marvelous capabilities as love, compassion, and genius?

Certainly robots don’t have these capacities yet, but only by striving towards such goals do we stand a chance of achieving them. In designing human-inspired robotics, we hold our machines to the highest standards we know—humanlike robots being the apex of bio-inspired engineering. […]

It is true that humanlike robots are not nearly human-level in their abilities today. Yes, humanlike robots fail. They fall, they lose the topic in conversation, misunderstand us, and they disappoint as much as they exhilarate us. At times these failures frustrate the public and robotics researchers alike. But we can’t give up. Humanoid robots are still in their infancy. Though they falter, the abilities of humanoid robots continue to grow and improve. Just as babies can’t walk, talk, or really do anything as well as adults do, or do anything particularly useful, this doesn’t mean that babies deserve our contempt. Let’s not give up on our robotic children. They need nurturing. And as a researcher in humanoid robotics, I can attest that it’s a pleasure to raise these robots. They are a lot of fun to develop.
the entire article is here

The common man, especially in Western society, seems to believe that once robots acquire some level of cognition and reasoning that comes close to equalling that of humanity, then humanity is Clearly Doomed to be Fleshy Victims of the Robot Apocalypse. Generally, these are people that believe the ‘Terminator’ and ‘Matrix’ franchises are documentaries. The only conceivable reason for this fictional robolution (I apologise) would be that once humanoid robots are more prevalent in society, a lot of them are pretty much going to be slaves, performing tasks or duties that Organiks would avoid doing. Correct me if I’m wrong, but human society has dabbled in slavery before, yes? Any opportunity an Organik is presented with to subjugate a being that he sees as being similar yet unequal to himself is one he’ll take advantage of. Heh, going by that line of thinking, wouldn’t a robot revolution be almost justified? So as we approach a state where Synthetik beings are edging closer to Organik ones in appearance, thought, and action, wouldn’t it be better to start off on the right foot?

+ Newer visitors to ‘Shouting etc etc’ — you know who you are — know about the pro-Doll lifestyle that I’m eternally promoting and would expect the same on my blog, but are probably unaware that it doesn’t stop there, which is why I use the term ‘Synthetik’ so often. You’ll want to take a couple of seconds and hover that so-called mouse pointer of yours over that green underscored word, there. Going from my interactions with people — again, you know who you are — I get a sense that a lot of you aren’t privy to how advanced Android and Gynoid technology is coming along. You spotted Miim-chan above, and do you know of Kokoro co. Ltd‘s Geminoids?

With friends like these, who needs mirrors?

Contemporary genius Hiroshi Ishiguro and his Synthetik twin met with that unnamed model lass and Actroid F (formerly Geminoid F), as well as Prof. Henrik Scharfe of Denmark’s Aalborg University and his recently-built Geminoid DK Doppelgänger, at a summit back in April in Kyoto.

When Scharfe ordered his Geminoid DK bot from Kokoro, the price tag was around $200,000, he told The Vancouver Sun. It took about six months to build.

Scharfe can remotely operate Geminoid DK so that it imitates some of his upper-body movements such as head position and facial expression. Meanwhile, it automatically “breathes” and blinks for a more lifelike effect. “It begins to feel very natural to operate it,” Scharfe tweeted. “Really like a natural extension of my first body.”

Scharfe said he used his clone in a translation experiment when he got together with the other Geminoids.
the entire article is here

Sounds like the world of ‘Surrogates‘ isn’t that far off, then! *rubs hands together gleefully*

+ And finally, Sinthetics have posted new photos of their luscious Tawny, Celeste, Alicia, and Monique Manikins, that I’m sure you’ll find entirely distracting in the best possible way.

Left, Alicia’s striking peaks and valleys; right, Monique, seconds before reminding you her eyes are up there

If pics like that aren’t enough to nudge you towards the pro-Synthetik side of the fence, then frankly, I don’t know what to do with you

Sdtrk: ‘Burning car’ by John Foxx

So I wanted to get this bit in before the week-end, as it’ll be a mildly eventful one (I’ll get to that), as well as the fact that I’ve been horribly neglectful of my writerin’ duties. I’m sure none of you have noticed! With all this time on my hands as of late, I honestly should be ashamed of myself. Actually, I am hanging my head in shame as I type this, which works out rather well, as I tend to look at my fingers when I type. So no shame, no gain, then! Errm.

What’s been percolating at Deafening silence Plus? Well, I’d refused an interview with MTV Brasil last month, as I honestly didn’t think it’d do anyone any good; the brief exchange of Emails we’d had back and forth isn’t even worth discussing, frankly. However, Sidore has successfully gotten me to do new photoshoots of her! At least until it started getting hot out. But three shoots in May, totalling over 170 pics? That’s something to be proud of, I’d say.

Also, you’ll find a new link in das Seidenbär, under the ‘Synthetik friends & friends of Synthetiks’ header, for a relatively new website called Future of Sex. It’s a (mostly) Safe For Work site that ‘provides insights into the fascinating topic of the future of human sex and sexuality. It looks at how communication, interface, biological and other technologies are enabling new expressions of human sexuality, and the individual and societal responses to these significant shifts.’ It’s topical, and definitely worth looking at!

Lastly, the other bit I was supposed to tell you about? The Missus and I will be on TLC’s ‘My Strange Addiction’ again this coming Sunday the 12th, at 9pm EST. It’s a follow-up episode; they’d stopped round with the intention of seeing how the Missus and I were getting on with her girlfriend/my second Doll, but then the bottom fell out of my personal economy, so instead you get to watch me trying my damnedest not to be bitterer than usual, as well as Other Stuff. They filmed for two days, but our segment should be probably less than ten minutes long, so Shi-chan and I will be as surprised as you lot as to what made the final cut. As we usually are in these cases

Sdtrk: ‘…da beißt ein Goldfisch an’ by Brigitt Petry

So I’d recently come to this shocking revelation:

You have singer-songwriter Kate Micucci:

And here’s silicone sexpot Miss January:

Hmm. And has anyone ever seen them in the same room together? Hmmm.
The plot thickens (not really)

Sdtrk: ‘Foehn winds’ by Horrid red

I feel I must offer you all this gaily-coloured basket of cheese wheels apologies, for my reduced lack of posts lately. (Haven’t I said this before? Don’t answer that) For one, I blame Twitter, as its siren song of only 140 characters provides a swift immediacy that a lazy fucker like myself often finds hard to resist. Another, the Missus and I have been busy. Not gettin’ busy — although I’d be a liar if I said we weren’t up that type of activity — but we had a twin media salvo take place on the week-end of the 16th and 17th of this month, the report of which I’ve been steadily working on, and which will be posted before the sun burns out.
But the biggest reason for this current slowdown — and if you follow my Twitter feed, you already know — would be that I was fired from my recent job on the 7th of April. Which was inevitable, I suppose. They cited it as a combination of my number of transfers dropping, which I credit due to the fact that the decent leads we were getting were growing more scarce, plus I ‘just didn’t seem like [you] wanted to be here anymore’. Well, when you have a schedule that’s constantly changing for the worse, reduced hours, reduced pay, and having your health benefits (and free bagels on Monday) being taken away from you, it’s a little hard to remain upbeat about things, job-wise. So I’ve signed on the dole again, and I’m trying to drag myself out of my complacency. WOO YAY

Anyway! What else has been conspiring round Deafening silence Plus, you ask? Do you recall how some poor misguided soul under the employ of ‘Dr’ Phil had asked if I’d wanted to make an appearance on their show, because they apparently weren’t privy to the fact that they’d already previously enquired? Ah heh heh.

from: “Mason, Keya”
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail.com
date: Mon, Apr 18, 2011 at 7:24 PM
subject: Ask Oprah’s All Stars

Hi Dave,

We spoke a few months ago about making an appearance on Dr. Phil which you were not interested in. I am now working on another show called Ask Oprah’s All Stars. It’s Oprah’s new show on OWN. I would love to get in touch with you to tell you a little more about it and see if you would be interested in participating. It is a much lighter and fun show. Give me a call so I can tell you more about it.

You can reach me at [phone number]

Keya Mason
Ask Oprah’s All Stars – Associate Producer
Mae West Building
5555 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90038

Curiously enough, she’d also CC’d her Email to ‘davecat@davecat.com’ and ‘davecat469@gmail.com’, whoever those poor unfortunates are.
I’ve always viewed Oprah through ambivalence-tinted glasses: I’m not keen on her, but I don’t hate her. Someone’s got to entertain daytime television watchers, and all told, she’s the least poisonous of that crowd. The Onion always manages to get good material out of her, but they get good material out of everything. I was aware that Oprah’s show is (currently?) in its final season, but I had no idea she was extending her reign with this network and another show called ‘Ask Oprah’s All Stars’, for crying out loud. Again, hey, if people dig that sort of thing, fine. But once again, daytime telly = not the best place to discuss the ideals of the iDollator community, Synthetik developments and rights, etc etc. So days later, I Emailed Keya back:

from: pulsedemon [at] gmail.com
to: “Mason, Keya”
date: Mon, Apr 25, 2011 at 9:16 PM
subject: Re: Ask Oprah’s All Stars

Hello again Keya —

Thanks for contacting me! Sorry it’s taken a bit for me to get back to you, but I was made redundant by my job earlier this month, so I’m signing on for unemployment, as well as looking for work, and playing catch-up with everything else as well…

At any rate, thank you for the offer! However, what with my recent unemployment busyness, as well as a cluster of other scheduled appearances that Sidore and I will be participating in this Summer, I honestly don’t think we’ll have the time to take part in your programme. These days, I’m trying to get the interviews we take part in to not focus so much on the Missus and I, but of Synthetik humans in general, so we have to pick and choose, as you can imagine. Sorry!

Again, thanks for the offer, and take care!

Cheers,
Davecat, with valued assistance from Sidore

Maybe I was exaggerating a wee bit with the line about the other appearances Shi-chan and I will be making, but we’re not halfway through the year yet, so anything can happen. Or nothing, for that matter! If I could see into the future, I’d be at the racetrack more often.
Did that put our Keya off? Not in the slightest:

from: “Mason, Keya”
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail.com
date: Mon, Apr 25, 2011 at 9:21 PM
subject: RE: Ask Oprah’s All Stars

Well if possible I’d like to talk to you about the possibility of the show. Perhaps you have a simple question you could ask Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, or Dr. Oz via webcam or video. There are many ways to possibly work an appearance into the show.

Let me know. Give me a call at [phone number]

Thanks
Keya Mason
Ask Oprah’s All Stars – Associate Producer
Mae West Building
5555 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90038

You have to admire her dogged tenacity, if nothing else. And I just now noticed that they’re located in the Mae West building! When did she get a building? Is it a ribald, bawdy structure?
I responded thus:

from: pulsedemon [at] gmail.com
to: “Mason, Keya”
date: Tue, Apr 26, 2011 at 12:59 PM
subject: Re: Ask Oprah’s All Stars

Hey Keya —

But I don’t really have any questions for any of those people! Furthermore, I had to look up who Dr Oz and Suze Orman are, as I haven’t watched broadcast television in years. And being honest, I’m not all that keen on Dr Phil, as he tends to be one of the many medical ‘experts’ who choose to pathologise eccentricity and individuality, for the sake of making an attention-grabbing show. Being on a show such as this would be, frankly, a pointless exercise for myself and the Missus at best, and a losing battle for the iDollator community at worst.

Again, I’d like to thank you for the enquiry, and have an excellent day!

Cheers,
Davecat

I mean, really. A question that I could ask them?? First off, I genuinely had to look these humans up: Suze Orman is some sort of finance expert, and Dr Oz is a health expert, and not an Eighties hair metal band from California, as I’d previously assumed. Under normal circumstances, I’d assumed that they’d be asking me questions, not the other way round.
Actually, here; I’ve got some simple questions I just thought of: ‘Ms Orman, how can someone best finance an Actroid or Geminoid of their very own, particularly if the purchaser is currently between jobs?’ or ‘Dr Oz, would consistently lifting one’s Doll be a decent basis for a workout regimen?’ or ‘Dr Phil, why are you such a judgemental shitwick?’ You know.

Is that the lot of them, finally? Have the entire battery of ill-suited daytime chat show hosts asked me now? I sure hope so