Sdtrk: ‘Keepers of the dawn (Who loves the sun?)’ by Tropical popsicle

St Valentine’s Day, of course, is a holiday made popular by the very first gangster massacre back in 1929, when Al Capone had a buncha mooks lined up against the wall and ventilated, see. As many of the victims’ hearts were pierced by bullets, current generations memorialise this event by exchanging hearts to loved ones. How does Cupid enter into the equation, you ask? Much as how Christians appropriated the Easter egg from Pagans, so it was with celebrating St Valentine’s Massacre; Cupid originally symbolised a flying baby. It’s true.

Quite a few of the people I began following on Twitter were people I knew on MySpace. Remember MySpace? Okay, you can stop now. One of them, Hayley Heartbreak, is a Gothabilly lass from New Zealand who does pretty nifty illustrations in her spare time. Last year, she began doodling Valentine’s Day illos on Post-It notes for a set number of people who asked for one, and I managed to catch her this year. This is the fantastic result:

The Missus, our mistress, and I think it’s too damned cute. Thanks, Hayley!

Sdtrk: ‘With brass songs they’ll descend’ by To kill a petty bourgeoisie

If you’re keen on Synthetiks, January’s been a reasonably good start to 2014…

+ As I’m not actually a proper newsreader, I’ve known about this for a while, but I simply neglected to tell anyone: there’s a new season underway of the Swedish drama series about Synthetiks, Äkta människor. Below, you’ll find a teaser promo. As I haven’t watched the first series yet, I’ve no idea how much of the story it gives away, but if you’ve not seen the previous series either, you’d be well advised not to play it. Durr hey.

Recently, I was half-joking on Twitter that pretty much all the programmes I’m into (namely various anime and tokusatsu series, various shows from the UK, and Äkta människor) were forcing me to turn to [INTERNET PIRATES], and curiously enough, the series’ writer, Lars Lundström, retweeted me. I asked him if there would ever be DVDs available with English subtitles, and he informed me that there’s subs on the Australian releases, which I was unaware of. So that’s a definite purchase for me later this year!
Incidentally, there’s a similar show that’s about as close as we’ll have in the States for a while called Almost Human. It’s couched more in the style of a near-future police procedural; as I’m not keen on cop shows, I’ve not looked into it. But I’m told it does handle the topic of artificial humans in a sympathetic manner. Plus, apparently the plot of the second episode centres round Gynoids, so that’s always a plus…

+ Looks like there’s another comic dealing with Synthetiks available for purchase! Well, it’s a one-shot trade paperback, which is cool. I’m buying the individual issues of the ‘Alex + Ada’ series I’d mentioned a while ago, but that’s slated to be twelve issues long, released monthly. More than likely, they’ll be compiled into a trade paperback after it’s complete, but I can’t wait that long!… While that series continues, there’s ‘A Boy and a Girl‘, written by Jamie S. Rich, and illustrated by Natalie Nourigat.

Travis and Charley have just met. It’s Charley’s last night in town, and Travis can’t let her leave without getting her to go on a date. In a future where real people are rapidly being supplanted by lifelike androids, sometimes one shot is all you get. Intelligence may be artificial, but the emotion is real in a futuristic romance from the writer of 12 Reasons Why I Love Her and the cartoonist behind Between Gears.

Oni Press released it back in December, so you can go pick it up now. Go pick it up now!

+ Speaking of the Twitters, one of my Twitter pals would be Doug Tilley; his long-suffering wife Jill sent me the care package of English & Japanese snacks that inspired the infamous ‘Do you remember Food?’ post series. Doug spends a lot of time reviewing fillums, most of them unusual ones, and he’d mentioned a movie called ‘Eve’s Necklace‘, which came out in 2010. Three guesses as to why my attention zeroed in on that film with a laser focus:

A deadly threat in the present and a dark secret from the past imperil a young couple in this first-ever motion picture with an all-mannequin cast.
from the IMDb entry

Okay, that was one guess, all things considered.
In an Email conversation with the director, Daniel Erickson, he’d told me that ‘The movie was truly experimental, in that it was a screenplay originally conceived to be produced with live actors, and we decided to film with mannequins without altering any details to the storyline or the dialogue,‘ unquote. He’s agreed to send me a screener DVD, so when that materialises here, Sidore, Elena, and I will eagerly whip up some bacon-flavoured popcorn and watch it, which means that you can expect a review of it on this very blog. Why hasn’t this sort of film been attempted before??

+ As you’ll recall, the precursors to today’s contemporary Gynoids would be the Golden Age of Automata, specifically the 18th century, which saw the creation of the Writer, the Draughtsman, and the Musician by Swiss father and son team Pierre and Henri-Louis Jaquet-Droz. Arguably, their automata were marketing shills, as they showed off the pair’s ability to create intricate intricate and graceful machinery; automata was their sideline hobby, as they specialised in watchmaking. It should’ve been the other way round, but I would say that. The company they founded still exists, and continues to produce ostentatious, horrifyingly-priced timepieces to this day. However, just last year, Jaquet-Droz produced Charlie, the firm’s first new automaton in nearly 300 years.

‘Everything on this table is eatable, even I’m eatable! But that is called “cannibalism”, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies’

An authentic sculptural work, this 1.65-meter-tall dandy with his meticulous proportions is perfect in his role of brand ambassador. A truly charming diplomat, Charlie is particularly careful about his attire: the blue of the ribbon girdling the top of his body represents the top of his frock coat, in turn inspired by the blue of the Grand Feu enamel of historical watch creations. His hair is carefully bobbed, and frames his mischievous face, animated by several movements, complete with nods and winks. Elegant and charming, Charlie will make a four-minute performance presenting the brand’s new watches, combining the charmed imagination of this one-of-a-kind family with the mechanical and aesthetic virtuosity of this year’s new models.
taken from this site

So, ah… obviously someone dug Johnny Depp as Tim Burton’s Willy Wonka, eh? Sure. I do like that frock coat, though. I dunno, though; Jaquet-Droz haven’t made a new female automata since the Musician, so they really could’ve built a new version! But I would say that.
As sometimes photographs don’t always convey a sense of motion, why not watch Mr Depp Charlie in action here?

+ We end this month’s entry with a modern-day Scopitone: a fellow iDollator goes under the name of Dick Cephalo for his musical excursions, and he’s created a video for a song he’s written entitled ‘Celebutard’. In addition, his lovely Boy Toy Doll Reyna Dayana stars in it as well! There’s bits where she gets her top off, so be advised, it’s not exactly safe for work. So watch it on your smartphone!

Reyna proves that we need more Synthetiks in the music industry. I mean, there literally are no downsides to something like that.

Okay, I’ll leave you with one more link, from everyone’s favourite satirical news site, the Onion: Japan Grants Suffrage To Female Robots. The Onion never disappoints!

Sdtrk: ‘She’s in fashion’ by Suede

First post of 2014! Written in 2013. Cough.
Were your holidays good? Did you witness The Descent of the Shimmering Death Sphere just before midnight in New York city? I swear, the recent New Years’ Eve ball is just one redesign away from becoming Leviathan. Give ’em time.

Allow me to recount part of another one of my amusing dreams, whether you want to hear it or not: in this one, I was round at my parents’ house, sorting through great big piles of things I wanted to keep or get rid of, and joining me in this task were a younger, late-Sixties-era Hugh Hefner, and Crawley’s Favourite Gothic Son, Robert Smith. Also, my parents’ house had four storeys instead of two, because why the hell not?

HUGH (going through large plastic bag): Are these [tools] from an IKEA couch?
ME: Yep! God bless the Swedes.
ROBERT: ‘God bless Suede’??
ME: No no, god bless the… I think you’d thought I said that last time! No, Brett Anderson’s cool, but they’re not that good.
ROBERT: Especially now.
ME: O no. God, no.
ROBERT: *frowning, shaking head vigourously*

A music critic, even in my sleep

Sdtrk: ‘Дом’ by Утро

Yes, I know, finally. You’ve read Part I and Part II beforehand, I’d hope? Excellent! Let’s begin.

SATURDAY, 27 JULY
That morning, instead of joining the lads for our customary 8.30am brekky at Foxy’s, I declined. For one, between the leftovers I’d had from Katsuya and BJ’s, it’d be silly for me to spend additional money on food for breakfast, and furthermore, Amber Hawk Swanson and I were due to convene there at 11am, to catch up and discuss more details for her upcoming project. So I got to sleep in! Any opportunity to get some extra Zs in is one that can’t be missed.
She arrived a few minutes before I did, and grabbed a table on the patio, which is something none of us have ever done there before. That’s due to the fact that there’s usually a minimum of five of us, and the patio tables are for smaller groups of one to two people. And speaking of people, Amber mentioned that when she got to Foxy’s that morning, one of the staff had told her that she had just missed ‘the boys’, meaning our crowd. We’re practically regulars there now!
Click here for the rest of the post, bunky »

Sdtrk: ‘Away from the city’ by The Summer Hits

Lately performance artist/jet-setter/iDollator Amber Hawk Swanson has had many irons (meaning ‘projects’) in the fire (meaning ‘fire’), and my wife Sidore and I are pleased to mention that we’re involved in one of them! Well, in part. In parts, actually.
During DolLApalooza 2013, Amber had developed the idea of taking Dolls who their owners had deemed irreparable, and transforming them into replicas of other killer whales being held in captivity, much as she’d done when her own Synthetik lover/mirror Amber Doll fell into disrepair. As fellow iDollator Jesse1965 had donated his previous RealDoll companion Heather, Shi-chan was also kind enough to give Amber her previous body, aka Sidore Mk II, and viewers of the performance will witness both Doll bodies being combined and fashioned into Lolita, an orca held in captivity at Miami Seaquarium. Hence the performance title: Sidore Mark II / Heather > LOLITA.
My role will be to read aloud Vladimir Nabokov’s novel Lolita, in its entirety, for two hours each day over the course of the seven days of the performance. For the first two days of the performance, I’ll be doing so on location, and when I return home, I’ll be reading the rest of it via Skype. I’ll be seated!

Come 10 December, why not pull up a seat of your own, and watch us on Amber’s Livestream channel? It starts at 10am EST, and ends when it’s finished! Snacks and bevvies are not only welcome, but undoubtedly a good idea

EDIT (27 DEC 2012): In the unfortunate event you’d missed all or part of the performance, you can catch yourself up by watching the various days on Amber’s Vimeo channel. As of this writing, there are still a few days yet to be uploaded, but you can go ahead and just bookmark that bad boy, for future reference

Sdtrk: ‘Negative volumes’ by Black to comm

I suppose this would be the equivalent of !!BREAKING NEWS!! round here, but the GAGADOLL site that I’d mentioned in the previous post has been updated. Undoubtedly I should’ve waited until more photos become available, but hey. We do have this to stare longingly at, though!

Japan’s latest and finest technologies were put into the creation of the “GAGADOLL”. It’s the world’s first life-size human-shaped listening station that closely resembles Lady Gaga. The bone conduction system enables one to listen to her songs and message.

The “GAGADOLL” was inspired by the concept of “ARTPOP” and this masterpiece made by Japan’s master craftsmen has been highly-praised by Lady Gaga herself.
taken from the site

The Doll making company in question is apparently Orient industry — as they’ve been doing the dutch wife-making lark since the late Seventies, they know their onions — and what they and Lady Ga² have created would be a cross between a personal sound system, and a dakimakura, which would be one of those ridiculous ‘love-love pillows’ you’ve doubtless seen various places. Thankfully, Gagadoll makes it a much sexier combination. As I’d stated before, I’m not keen on her music, but as far as I’m concerned, she just gained like 200 Cool Points with me.

Those awful shoes have to go, as they comprise a third of Gagadoll’s body weight. Another third? Her hair

Depending on the availability/affordability of Gagadoll — no, I’ve not seen anything on either of those fronts yet, but I’m keeping an eye out — perhaps this could herald a trend of celebrities having Synthetik likenesses made of themselves to sell to fans? I mean, actors are commodities as it is; having silicone replicas made would simply take it a step further. Which would obviously be a fantastic thing on multiple levels, but it’s yet another example of there being nothing new under the sun. There’s a section in one of my oft-mentioned favourite books, David Levy’s ‘Love and Sex with Robots‘, wherein the author recounts another author, René Schwaeblé, who describes artists creating affictitious duplicates of popular invididuals of the time, in an article entitled ‘Les Détraqués de Paris’. I’d like to point out here that René had written this during 19th-century France:

From René Schwaeblé’s description of these fornicatory dolls, sold by a “Dr. P” for around three thousand francs, it would appear that they were extremely convincing replicas of the female form. The doctor explained to Schwaeblé:

Every one of them takes at least three months of my work! There’s the inner framework which is carefully articulated, there’s the hair on the head, the body hair, the teeth, the nails! There’s the skin, which has to be given a certain tint, certain expression, there’s the tongue, and I don’t know what else. You won’t find a waxwork or a statue, not even the ones created by the greatest masters, that can be compared to my products. The only thing these haven’t got is the power of speech!…
Unfortunately I can’t advertise openly. The police keep interfering in my business, and I have to keep some weird rubber animals around the place, so that I can say I’m a maker of inflatable figures for funfairs!

Doctor P occasionally had customers who wanted a doll made in the likeness of someone they desired.
It quite often happens that one of those “mad women” falls for a man in the public eye—a politician, a jockey, some hammy actor, or whatever. As she doesn’t dare to become his mistress, or can’t, she applies to me and asks me to create a doll modelled on her idol.

Levy, David. Love and Sex with Robots, pages 179-180.

Lady Ga², I’m starting to get the impression that you’ve done a bit of homework on this sort of thing. There you go; you get another five Cool Points

Sdtrk: ‘Wasted place’ by Gary War

Have some additional news! Plus, it’s still November, and I couldn’t think of a decent new title.

It’s no secret that I don’t understand popular culture, and what passes for its music is one of the facets that either leaves me cold, or makes me angry. Like that Lady Gaga, as an example. Back in my day, we had a Lady Gagaga, but her name was Toyah Willcox, and her music was not as facile. I dunno; starring as a nihilistic punk in Derek Jarman’s ‘Jubilee’ made her truly cool, in my opinion. Three aspects about Lady Gagagaga redeem her from being an utter waste of space, though: she’s into Warhol, which is always good to hear; her overall message seems to be ‘be comfortable with who you are, no matter what others say’, which is definitely relatable; and GAGADOLL, which is a new and enticing thing.

As is the way of most media events these days, there are no details yet anywhere on the site, so I’m compulsively checking that shit, like, every day, so that I don’t miss anything. Are these Dolls that are going to be used in one of Lady Gagagagaga’s new music videos? Will they be for sale? Should that be the case, will you be able to dress them in architecture, much like the Organik Lady Gagagagagaga? We shall see!

4woods have just released two new heads, Sayo, and Sayo -drowsy-. Could you imagine being an iDollator who would want to solely concentrate on owning A.I.Dolls, and hearing news like this? You’d either be ecstatic that you have new additions to your collection, or you’d be flipping over a table, shouting ‘DAMNIT I AM RUNNING OUT OF MONEY AND SPACE FOR THESE!!’ Be careful what you wish for! Could’ve been worse, though, Inconsolable Fictional 4woods Brand Loyalist; you could’ve opted to collect every single body and head from Orient industry.

Left, Sayo, taking her earrings off before fighting; right, Sayo -drowsy-, struggling once again with narcolepsy

The Sayo head fits the A.I.NEO im body, and both Sayo and Sayo -drowsy- can go onto the A.I.Doll EX body. What next for 4woods, then? Well, give them a month, and they’ll more than likely have an answer.

Since late October, I’ve been in contact with Jury (pronounced ‘Yuri’), the head of a fledgling Doll studio out of Latvia (not Latveria; that’s Doctor Doom’s homeland), to see if he’s ready to release his creation to the world. Almost! His Dolls are different than the typical silicone fare that everyone’s familiar with, as Jury is building them out of fabric. They’re called Textile Dolls, and they’re rather impressive!

Clare head, 150cm body

Here are some facts about the Textile Doll series: Jury purchased a silicone Doll for himself, but despite the fact that they’re amazing for photography, he thought they were too heavy and could be too cold for funtimes in bed, so he created the Textile Doll. The head is lightweight and made of pressed fabric with glue, with painted makeup and skintone, and has plastic eyes. The body is soft and contains an articulated skeleton over a leather-fabric and Lycra skin, with batting and sponge for musculature.
So far, Jury’s developed two bodies: the Big Bertha (170cm, or 5’6″), which can accomodate the Melissa and Isabelle heads, and the 150cm (5ft) body, which takes the Clare head. Both bodies weigh 5kg, or 11 lbs, and the Big Bertha takes a sz 9 shoe. I’ve yet to find out if that’s an EU sz 9… Incidentally, her fingers and toes are articulated as well, and her lady bits are a Fleshlight. Her breasts and bum are soft; even though they don’t use silicone, but the fabric sags and droops appropriately like silicone. I’ll also be finding out soon what their measurements are, so look forward to that. In fact, Jury’s working on having a website made, so that’ll get a mention and a link once it’s up and running. Not bad, Jury, not bad at all!

And remember how I’d mentioned that Sidore, Elena, and I had a German telly crew visit recently? You can view the (wax) fruits of our labour here, on the site for the telly show Explosiv: Sex-Puppe: Dave braucht keine echten Frauen. Anyone want to have a go at providing a translation, for those of us who don’t sprechen Sie Deutsch fließend? Wartezeit. Warten Sie eine Minute. Ich spreche Deutsch! Dieses ist wunderbar! Es ist, als ob ich immer zu gekonnt habe speak German… o, wait, now it’s gone. DAMNIT *flips table*

EDIT (28 Nov 2013): Alert reader Christian Müller comes through with a translation of the Explosiv video in the comments here, as he knows German like the back of his hand. Or the front of it, for that matter. Thanks, Christian!