Sdtrk: ‘The luckiest guy on the Lower East side’ by Magnetic fields

You might recall earlier that I was torn between attending this year’s Motor City Comic Con and not attending this year’s Motor City Comic Con, as it was a case of my finances running aground versus my desire to see Julie Newmar and a fifth of the cast of ‘Three’s company’. Luckily, my tax return cheque made the whole thing possible! Thanks, the Federal Government! I only thank you on average once a year, so you’d best appreciate that.

I sped out to the venue roughly three hours before it was due to close, as I kinda wanted to make a tactical strike on the place. It was just myself; Zip Gun had other obligations (attending the opera), SafeT hates comics (they killed his family), goshou was busy assembling a weight bench (with his mind), and Mari had to put a deposit on her new apartment (with her mind).
After arriving a wee bit after 3pm, I bought my ticket and entered the hall, which was already teeming with people. Not thirty seconds had passed when I was spotted by Mark Dudley, a friend of Mike’s, who had a table in Artist’s Alley, and was standing in line for some dodgy free popcorn. We chatted for a bit, doing the catch-up thing, then I took off when he finally got up to the register. Two minutes after that, I ran into another bloke that I’d not seen in almost a decade! We exchanged current Email addresses and spoke of the recent Gundam series, as he’s as big as a Gundam fanatic as I am. Then I made my leave again! Fifteen minutes, and I hadn’t even visited my first vendor booth!

So as I was on a tactical strike, due to being on a budget, my mission purchase-wise was to pick up the remaining five volumes of Naoki Urasawa’s Monster (a ‘taut psychological thriller’). My other objective, of course, was to get some autographs from famous individuals. As I neglected to get a programme, I kinda wandered aimlessly towards the back of the con, where I ran into an additional two friends of mine that I really hadn’t seen since highschool. How is that possible?? Sonja and Sue were juniors when I was a senior, cos the circle of miscreants that Monti and I ran with back then was mostly composed of people that were one grade below us. Don’t ask how, but the dynamic worked rather well. We chatted for a bit, doing the catch-up thing, etc. They were primarily there to hang out and shop, although Sue wanted to get a photo and autograph from Carrie Fisher, but that idea was summarily shot in the face when they learned that her autographs were priced at $200. Ah hah hah hah. Who exactly is this Carrie Fisher person, and what has she done to warrant this kind of extortion?
Several hugs later, we went our separate ways, after which I spotted Monti, who was working (read: knitting) at the Great Lakes Association of Horror Writers booth on both Saturday and Sunday. As she wasn’t extremely busy, she decided to wander the con with me and take in the wildlife, but just as we were about to leave, Sonja and Sue appeared again! Cue more hugs! Sonja had laughingly told me that after our first meeting, someone had asked her ‘was… was that Davecat you were talking to?’ Ha! Monti half-jokingly suggested that I get a table of my own next year. Hmm…

Soon after, Monti and I made our way to the Media Guests area, where, seated at a corner table facing the cafeteria, was Julie Newmar. She had a Comic Con staffer with her, and was speaking with some bloke in his late forties. Julie Newmar.
Now, as the ‘My living Doll’ DVD box set doesn’t yet exist, weeks ago I attempted to find something related to the series on eBay for her to sign. Unfortunately, the only thing on offer was a baseball card-sized card, that the seller was letting go for about $20. Zip Gun hepped me to a place online that sold reasonably priced 8×10 publicity stills, so I bought one and waited for it to arrive. And waited. And waited. Needless to say, it didn’t show up, so before I left for the con that day, I brought a blank notebook for her to sign, as I figured it was better than nothing.
I approached the table with a ‘Hello, Ms Newmar!’ She responded with a coquettish ‘Hello, my dear,’ which is pretty much what you’d expect her to say. As the bloke had her pen her signature to a Catwoman still, I’d noticed a sign indicating AUTOGRAPHS $20 / PHOTO SESSIONS $30, and I’d thankfully noticed a still from ‘My living Doll’ was on offer, as the photo I’d purchased online was Julie clad in a towel. A moot point anyway, as I didn’t have it with me. The fan thanked her and made his leave, and I moved in for the kill. I told Ms Newmar that I really enjoyed her work, particularly in ‘My living Doll’, which she seemed to appreciate. She reiterated what I’ve been hearing all over: they’re still trying to locate the masters for the rest of the series, so they can clean them up and release them to DVD. She still doesn’t look too bad for her age, I have to say! Plus, she seems fun to hang around. Be sure to let me know when you’re in SE Michigan again, Julie; we’ll hook up!

‘to Davecat, fondly, Julie Newmar’

After thanking her profusely, I met back up with Monti with a huge grin plastered across my face. Julie Newmar.
We walked some more through the Media Guests area, flanked by a passel of celebs on either side — the Soup Nazi from ‘Seinfeld’, Erin Gray from ‘Buck Rogers’, Felix Silla from ‘Buck Rogers’, a couple of Playmates from ‘Playboy’, the Honky Tonk Man from ‘wrestling’, etc. It was a bizarre confluence of celebrities, if you stop to think about it.
Back in the dealer’s area, we nipped into a booth that sold manga, where I grabbed those volumes of Monster that I needed, with the exception of the volume before the final one, as it was out-of-stock. DAMNIT *slams fist on table*

As it was approaching 5pm, we made one more pass through the Media Guests DMZ, so I could collect my signatures from (part of) the cast of ‘Three’s company’. Seated from left to right at three separate tables were Richard Kline, Joyce DeWitt, and Priscilla Barnes. Coincidentally enough, the Soup Nazi was to the right of Richard Kline, which was an opportunity missed.
As Janet always was my favourite roommate, we went to Joyce’s table first. She greeted us warmly, and y’know, she looks almost exactly how she looked during her heyday. And they might’ve saddled her with a low chair, as she seemed pretty tiny! It’s common knowledge that television adds three and a half feet to a person’s height. I told her that she was one of the primary reasons that I came to the convention, since her public appearances post-‘Three’s company’ are rare, and she mentioned that Priscilla drags her out to cons every so often, as she’d been doing the hermit thing lately. ‘Nothing wrong with that!’ I replied. Joyce chose to sign my book in pen, as opposed to using the Sharpie I offered, so the ink wouldn’t leak through to the other side. Janet always was the practical one.
Next, we sidled over to Richard Kline. As he was speaking with another fan, I’d noticed he was idly drumming a fistful of Sharpies against the tabletop. He seemed a bit tired and/or distracted, to be honest. I’d passed him my Sharpie, and as he was taking that and my book, he’d asked if Joyce had charged for an autograph. ‘Err… no,’ we responded, thinking he was joking. Richard scribbled his signature and handed my book back, saying, ‘There ya go — there’s your freebie’. The actual payment: one Sharpie. I wisely decided against pressing the issue.
Right before I got round to Priscilla Barnes’ table, Monti said she’d be back, as she wanted to get her own photo op in with John Schneider of ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’ fame. Now, she actually had a con staffer with her, collecting money for autographs, which is something that neither Joyce nor Richard had, so, cheap as it sounds, I kinda lucked out there. As it turned out, I ended up spending my last $20 getting Ms Barnes’ autograph, but as I’d said before, how many opportunities like that come in one’s life? She looked chilly — she had her cardigan wrapped round her shoulders, and actually refused a handshake, as she didn’t want to give me her cold. Well, she did play a nurse, after all… I told her that I’d always enjoyed watching ‘Three’s company’, despite my friends thinking I have awful taste, as I’d grown up with the show, and it was the equivalent of comfort food. ‘That’s an interesting way of looking at it,’ she remarked.

Door status: KNOCKED UPON

So after my own brush(es) with stardom, I reconvened with Monti, who had had her own brush with stardom, in the form of Bo Duke (read more about it here). We agreed that it was a pretty good day overall, and I left her with her GLAHW compadres. Brushes! Stardom!
Will I attend the next Motor City Comic Con? I dunno; who’ve you got showing up?

Sdtrk: ‘Sheila take a bow’ by the Smiths

If you’ve not been following my godforsaken Twitter feed, you’ll note that it’s Saturday night, and I’m at home! In fact, I just woke up for the third time today this eve! Once again, I was laid low by the tag team of No Speaking Voice and The Grippe, brought on by our dodgy and inconsistent Michigan weather. It never fails!
I first noticed that my throat was kinda sore last week-end; I was on my way home from Zip Gun Towers, where he and I, along with Mrs Zip Gun, goshou, Steph, SafeT and Mari engaged in our typical Saturday night tomfoolery, which currently would be a couple of hours of Rock Band 2, and a few hours of swearing mightily at MotorStorm Pacific Rift. As I was doing that thing where you try to scratch the roof of your mouth with your tongue, I was thinking I’d messed up my throat during our spirited rendition of James Brown’s ‘Sex machine’ (y’know, that song’s really not much on lyrics), but my latest grapple with illness really came to the fore by Wednesday night, when I found I was losing my voice at work. Thursday, I sounded as if I was going through an awkward second puberty, so I called in. Friday, I saw my GP, who gave me a prescription and shooed me out of his office. Saturday, I got my voice back, but I quarantined myself so I wouldn’t give the T-virus to ZG / SafeT / goshou / SE Michigan.
So here we are, and I’m awake again! Wonderful, horrible wakefulness!

Anyroad, self-promotion time! Yeah, I know; that’s so out-of-character for me. My interview at ULTRAKILLBOT is up! Well, half of it. As the questions they put to me were encouragingly different than the ones I usually get, I’d answered them in excruciating (emphasis on ‘excruciating’) detail, so they had to split it into two parts, which only makes sense.

What’s your ideal job?

Hrrm… realistically speaking, something behind the scenes, where I could be left to my own devices and not have to deal with the general public. Something like proofreading, or research work, or stacking books in a library… something non-descript. Ideally, however, my dream job would be working on the staff of something like i-doloid magazine; that’s a Japanese magazine that centres round life-sized Dolls, or if not i-doloid specifically, then a magazine with the same intent. Even better than a magazine would of course be a television programme. Since it’s a niche market now, it wouldn’t be just about Dolls, it’d cover Androids, Gynoids, robotics in general. Something with the finger on the mechanical pulse of the Synthetiks revolution. It’s gotta start somewhere!

Part II will be on the site next week, so you’ll want to bookmark that. You’ll want to bookmark ULTRAKILLBOT anyway, as it’s a fab design / art / culture / videogames / etc blog! Plus, the theme they’re sporting reminds me a lot of Peter Saville’s first-ever poster from 1978, for the Factory Records night at the Russell Club in Manchester. Well done!

Sdtrk: ‘From an ancient star’ by Belbury Poly

As I’d noted years ago, sometimes purchasing an unfamiliar flavour of toothpaste is akin to playing russian roulette, as you run the risk of getting something that tastes like misery itself. On the other hand, last time I was buying groceries, I had to make An Informed Toothpaste Decision, as it appears that Sensodyne has stopped producing my preferred flavour, Fresh Impact; or, at the very least, the store was out of stock. So after choosing another flavour (Fresh Mint), surreptitiously screwing the cap off, squirting a pea of toothpaste onto my fingertip, and giving it a swift lick, I happily discovered that what I’d grabbed wasn’t merely okay, it was actually good. I mean, like, good on the level where I want to use it as a condiment. Under normal circumstances, that would be so wrong it’s right, but as it’s toothpaste and therefore beneficial for you, it’s so right it’s wrong it’s right. Right?

Lately, I’ve been hewing out a couple more posts, as I’ve been getting ideas here and there for some whilst at work, but then I’d get porlocked by clients on the phone, and the ideas would disappear before I could write them down. Fuckin’ clients, man. So enjoy some thought-provoking dialogue ripped from the pages of real life instead!

SCENA: Davecat (aka kuroneko_23; fringe, skinny tie) and MontiLee (aka pendamuse; fox ears, cleavage) attempt to bolt together some plans for their week-ends regarding dinner and photography, circa a couple of years ago.

[03.07.24 PM] pendamuse: okay, so what day – that’s what I’m foggy on
[03.07.41 PM] kuroneko_23: That’s this SATURDAY Saturday saturday
[03.07.47 PM] kuroneko_23: AT TEH SILVERDOME
[03.08.02 PM] pendamuse: We’re doing night shots?
[03.08.10 PM] kuroneko_23: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[03.08.11 PM] kuroneko_23: o
[03.08.19 PM] kuroneko_23: That’s NEXT Saturday.
[03.08.31 PM] kuroneko_23: *checks calendar*
[03.08.51 PM] pendamuse: We’re haveing dinenr this Saturday?
[03.08.54 PM] kuroneko_23: Yes: this Sat, dinnair, next Sat, photeauxs.
[03.08.57 PM] kuroneko_23: YESSU
[03.09.04 PM] pendamuse: Really?
[03.09.09 PM] kuroneko_23: DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE
[03.09.15 PM] pendamuse: But …
[03.09.19 PM] pendamuse: *confused*
[03.09.25 PM] kuroneko_23: I AM DROWSY AND DO NOT KNOW MY STRENGHTS
[03.09.55 PM] kuroneko_23: Am I gonna have to Email our chat log history to you?
[03.10.07 PM] pendamuse: …
[03.10.09 PM] pendamuse: yes
[03.10.11 PM] pendamuse: No, I have it
[03.10.15 PM] pendamuse: I just don’t remember
[03.10.19 PM] pendamuse: much
[03.10.21 PM] pendamuse: since the
[03.10.23 PM] pendamuse: thing
[03.10.51 PM] kuroneko_23: The word you’re looking for is ‘lobotomy’. It’s okay, I was there with the camera and the crazy straws.
[03.11.02 PM] pendamuse: *snicker*
[03.11.26 PM] kuroneko_23: You’re still okay with dinner this Sat, right? You’ve not made other, sexier plans?
[03.11.37 PM] pendamuse: *looks around*
[03.11.41 PM] pendamuse: who are you talking to?
[03.11.51 PM] kuroneko_23: Pfft, don’t give me that.
[03.11.53 PM] kuroneko_23: Pfft.
[03.12.02 PM] pendamuse: Saturday is fine
[03.12.07 PM] kuroneko_23: YAY

Attrition and desperation — it’s How We Get Things Done

Sdtrk: ‘Telegram’ by The Brian Jonestown massacre

Upon waking up Wednesday afternoon, imagine my surprise when I received an Email with the Subject line ‘TV SHOW WANTS TO INTERVIEW YOU!’, from a Nicole Bader. Could it be a bold new forward-thinking magazine? Or perhaps some futurist-based television programme? Maybe she’s representing known robotics advocate David Levy? Nah; turns out she’s scouting out potential objects of ridicule for that chat show ringmaster, Maury Povich. Gah.

from: Nicole Bader
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail [dot] com
date: Wed, Feb 18, 2009 at 2:35 PM
subject: TV SHOW WANTS TO INTERVIEW YOU!

Hi Davecat,

My name is Nicole Bader and I work for a nationally syndicated television show in New York.

We are currently doing research for an upcoming program, and wanted to talk to you personally about your relationship with your Real Doll (s).

We simply are trying to gain insight and educate the public on these types of relationships.

Please contact me directly at [phone number] as soon as possible!

I look forward to hearing from you!

Nicole Bader
The Maury Povich Show
15 Penn Plaza, Grand Ballroom
New York, New York 10001

I’d also noticed that she’d sent a message to me via Myspace as well, which seemed a wee bit desperate, as I’m trying to ignore the fact that I have one and am advising all and sundry to do the same, but hey. So before my work shift ended for the day, I fired off a response:

from: Davecat
to: Nicole Bader
date: Thu, Feb 19, 2009 at 10:57 PM
subject: Re: TV SHOW WANTS TO INTERVIEW YOU!

Hello Nicole –

Thanks for the offer to be on the Maury Povich show! Sadly though, I’m afraid I must turn it down. There’s a couple of factors that come into play:
+ I’ve no way to get to New York
+ carting Sidore round is more awkward than you’d think
+ some sort of monetary compensation would be needed, such as at least half the cost of a new body for Sidore — eight years is pretty up there in age for a Doll
+ studio audiences tend to put me off, and of course
+ a huge fear of misrepresentation, which is something that any true iDollator would empathise with.

If you’ll note on my blog, which I’m certain you’ve read, you’ll see that I’d turned down Tyra Banks, Geraldo Rivera, Dr Phil, Alan Colmes, and Jerry Springer for essentially the same reasons, so don’t take it personally! Again, thanks for the opportunity, though!

Cheers,
Davecat, with valued assistance from Sidore

Now, the funny (ha ha) thing was that at the same time I got Ms Bader’s request, I’d also received an Email from Meghan Laslocky, author of ‘Real Dolls: Love in the Age of Silicone‘, as we try to keep in touch periodically. She’d mentioned that Nicole had contacted her, asking after contact info from any Doll owners she knew; which, if you think about it, smacks a bit of lazy journalism. Instead of asking someone else, why not get your hands dirty and put out a request yourself? Apparently Nicole eventually did, as fellow Doll husband Mahtek told me that she’d made the same request round at that popular Internet forum that a lot of iDollators converge at, with predictable results (a lot of crossed arms, furrowed brows, and shaking heads).
So the very next day, I got another Email from her (bolding hers):

from: Nicole Bader
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail [dot] com
date: Fri, Feb 20, 2009 at 10:06 AM
subject: RE: TV SHOW WANTS TO INTERVIEW YOU!

Hello Davecat!

I understand your concerns. We can provide certain solutions for all of your worries.

First and most importantly, many people I have spoken with have had certain hesitations, mainly because I’m asking for someone to possibly appear on camera to tell their story in front of an audience. As per my producing team, they will be fully respectful and briefed in every way, shape, and form. No guest will ever feel uncomfortable. My job is to ensure that.

Second, I assure you, the show is very well in tune with the needs and requests of ALL of our guests and we trulyare looking out for the best interest of the guest (s), while telling an interesting story and educating the American public so in fact this lifestyle will hopefully eventually be not SO taboo.

In the past, my staff and I have worked with different people in the transgender community, the porn industry, victims of peeping toms, victims of video voyeurism, and the list goes on. We treat each guest with enormous respect to how they want to be portrayed. We don’t talk for them, we let them tell what they want, to ultimately reach the American public to have them better understand their unique situation. To exploit or belittle anyone is not the way we focus our show. We simply provide the opportunity to get the word out on certain things.

In conclusion, if you are thinking about possibly working with us, compensation CAN be provided and travel and accommodations will also be all inclusive, including shipping Sidore, if that is the way you would prefer for her to arrive in New York.

Thank you for taking the time to respond and hopefully this better reaffirms my ultimate goal for this specific show.

The head producer of my team, Holly Mirabella, would very much like to talk to you about the exact details and reaffirm everything that I have gone over.

Please contact me directly at [phone number] to speak with us in detail about compensation, travel, or any other concerns you may have.

Thank you!

Nicole Bader
The Maury Povich Show
15 Penn Plaza, Grand Ballroom
New York, New York 10001

*sigh* As you’ll note, not once did she remark upon the whole ‘half the cost of a new Doll’ quote I’d thrown in there (that’s roughly $3250 USD, if you’re keeping score). With requestees that I’m not entirely keen on, I always make that one of my fulfilments, in order to sort the wheat from the chaff. If a potential interviewer, chat show host, or programme that I’m leery of honestly wants me to participate blindfolded in their Atrocity Exhibition, they’re gonna have to satisfy my demands. All told, an amount such as that would be a drop in the bucket for Murray Povich Industries.
And yes, I’m aware his name’s ‘Maury’, but that’s how Letterman always referred to him whenever he was hitting on Maury’s wife, Connie Chung, which brought me no end of amusement. And with good reason!
Anyway: my subsequent response?

from: Davecat
to: Nicole Bader
date: Fri, Feb 20, 2009 at 7:35 PM
subject: Re: TV SHOW WANTS TO INTERVIEW YOU!

Hello Nicole –

If nothing else, you certainly drive a hard bargain! But I fear that I’m still going to have to refuse your offer.

I understand that your stated intent is to expose your show’s audience to the idea the concept of Dolls as companions, and that’s admirable. However, at this stage in the game, really, it’s the iDollator community who have to choose the fields of battle that we fight on whenever possible. Although the success of a film like ‘Lars and the Real Girl’ has opened a lot of people’s minds to the concept, unfortunately the majority of American society still can’t fathom the idea of a Doll being more than ‘just a sex toy’, and unfortunately, the majority of people that think that way are usually found watching afternoon television. Plus, the simple fact that you’d mentioned ‘the transgender community, the porn industry, victims of peeping toms, victims of video voyeurism’, indicates that the overall tone of the programme would undoubtedly be based on a sexual or a prurient slant, which obviously would not be a direction I’d want to be involved with.

So there you go! Once again, thank you for your offer, but I’m afraid that’s my final decision. Take care!

Cheers,
Davecat, with valued assistance from Sidore

he said, dusting off his hands when he was done typing. And egad, was that a huge paragraph, or what? But hopefully my intent should be clear.

Getting back momentarily to the five-page post on that online iDollator community site I’d mentioned, there were one or two people who said they might be interested in appearing on Murray’s programme, as I suppose they believe that there’s no such thing as bad press on American telly. I was reminded of how Laura of ‘If I Was a Rich Girl‘ professed her love for trash tv, particularly Murray, and her post about how he tortured a girl with a long-standing fear of pickles by dragging her to a pickle factory. Bizarre, yes, but it just goes to show you how ‘sensitive’ the show is in handling that which is different or unusual.

Hopefully that’ll be the gamut of tabloid chat shows, and their inappropriate requests! O wait, Oprah’s not put in her bid. *shudders* She could pull one of her wealth-flaunting stunts: ‘Everyone in the audience gets a new Doll!’ Ahh, if only

Sdtrk: ‘Arthur Cravan’ by Mount Vernon Arts Lab

Just a heads-up: my Texas-based friend Jaems, of int23.com, engaged me in a lengthy phone interview this past Friday, concerning being an iDollator (meeting new and interesting people with an interest in silicone partners), and life with the Missus in general (sometimes there is wrestling involved). Now the results of the interview are presented here, for your edification. For one, I particularly like the title!

How did your roommate react to you bringing Sidore home?

Steve, my other roommate at the time, was really laid-back and open-minded. Initially, when I started raising funds for Shi-chan in earnest, I’d half-jokingly asked if he wanted to contribute. He gave me a single dollar for the ‘I Hope You Don’t Buy A RealDoll Fund’. (laughs)

Give it a look! It’ll be something pleasant to round out the end of your week-end

Sdtrk: ‘Cherish’ by Ike Yard

Absolute zero, meaning the weather is neither hot or cold;
it is in a perfect null-state

I’m starting to believe that this ridiculously frigid weather is actually having an influence on my lifestyle and mindset. Since the beginning of Winter — not the official beginning of Winter, as it’s been freezing off and on in SE Michigan several weeks before that — I’ve noticed an increased willingness to hibernate, a drop in my writing output, which extends to my creativity at large, as I’ve had no inclination to either do legitimate research on potential posts, or work on other creative things, such as ‘Kitten with a Whip!’, for example, and worst, a dip in my libido; which, for any Scorpio worth their salt, is almost inconceivable. I undoubtedly sound like a broken record, but it is just too cold to do anything but stay in bed, where the heat is. At the moment, I’m at a creative standstill, which is really unsettling.
And the thing is, I’ve noticed similar behaviour in a couple of friends of mine. I don’t know if you can chalk it up to the whole Seasonal Affective Disorder thing, but I wouldn’t rule it out entirely. Don’t get me wrong; I love me some overcast days, but egad, you gotta break that shit up now and again. Couple that with polar temperatures and crappy driving conditions, and Winter’s approval rating just continues to sink. Really, the only thing that makes Winter better than hateful Summer is that it doesn’t make you sweat, but that’s a small comfort, all told.

Therefore, I propose that we follow the example of our friends, the bears and squirrels, and hibernate during the Winter season. Of course, I don’t mean that we should literally stuff ourselves with acorns and honey, crawl into a cave or hollow tree, and sleep for three straight months out of the year. Although you’d be free to do that if you liked, but that’d be weird. No, what I’m saying is that society should go for a general go-slow when Winter sets in. Not like a complete shutdown of industrialised society or anything, but more of a simple understanding on the part of companies if an employee calls in to say, ‘sorry, I won’t be coming in today; it’s like 3°F outside.’ All this, naturally, would be done without cutting into any time-off time, or sick time, or vacation time, et al. It’d be officially sanctioned, but regulated so that business wouldn’t be short-staffed. It’d be a lot like Golden Week in Japan, only it’d be more like Golden Twelve Weeks…
The hoped-for result is that people would be more well-rested and less stressed-out overall, and ready to tackle the remaining nine months. Honestly, what better time to stay indoors and recharge your batteries than when Mother Nature’s being a disagreeable tart?

In other news, due to considering how Tomas and Jaems are attempting to simplify things with their lives, I’ve deleted my Livejournal account, as well as sixsixsixties.blogspot.com, which is where ‘Shouting etc etc’ got its start, and my Facebook account. My Livejournal consisted of a single post that essentially said ‘Nothing here, go to my actual blog’, so there’s no loss there, and what remained on Blogger/Blogspot said the same. As far as Facebook, I’ve already expressed my displeasure with it, but between Thursday night and my drive to work Friday afternoon, I thought to myself, why do I still have a page on Facebook? Initially I started it due to that twat in Australia co-opting my identity on Myspace, so I started a profile of my own, in order to stop Hitler at Munich, as it were. The thing with Facebook, however, is that when a person registers, they’re required to enter both a first name and a surname. Obviously I wasn’t putting in my actual surname, so I used a ‘fictional’ one. In addition to me realising that in effect, no-one can make a Facebook page for Davecat, not even myself, and since I had very little interaction with the site anyway, I decided that deleting the account would be the best thing for all involved. Twelve out of the fourteen people I’ve made friends with all there already know other ways to get hold of me, and as for the other two, well, you’d be well advised to bookmark ‘Shouting etc etc’. Now, if only I could get rid of my Myspace profile that easily, and ensure that no-one else re-starts it…

via text, Saturday:
SafeTinspector (2.28 pm): Re: facebook.
I pretty much ignore mine and consider it a biographical aggregator. It auto-pulls in my twitters, flickrs and blog posts.
Davecat (2.38 pm): Yeah; the sole content of my Facebook is my Twitter feed, but then, why not just check my Twitter feed?
Davecat (2.39 pm): My Facebook is like a (Organik) appendix. If you can get rid of it, do so, cos you really don’t need it.
SafeTinspector (2.48 pm): You could also have it parrot your flickr, youtube and WordPress posts. It requires 0 maintenance, so mine shall remain, as my MySpace page, as a simple signpos
SafeTinspector (2.48 pm): t.
Davecat (2.49 pm): Bah. BAH! *dismissive hand gesture*
Davecat (2.49 pm): That was the idea with my Myspace, but people just stop there instead of going to my blog! I’m funnelling.
SafeTinspector (2.49 pm): I’m glad you specified “Organic” appendix, as I am a pig proponent of appendices.
Davecat (2.50 pm): Proponent of pig appendices?

Twitter’s always a laugh, though! That’s not going anywhere

Sdtrk: ‘The November men’ by Death in June

Greetings, new readers who’ve arrived at ‘Shouting to hear the echoes’, due to the link provided by Korea Beat! For the record, that post that sent you here? It’s riddled with errors. Riddled. This is what occurs when you use a blender to edit your articles. Let’s go over the highlights with a red pen, shall we?

The Real Dolls, made of a material similar to silicone, really look and feel just like a real person. And at 40 to 50 kilograms they even weigh as much as a woman. They can wear makeup and the more expensive ones can even eat.

Y’know, if I could get Sidore to cook for the pair of us, that would save so much time. Maybe she never learned how cos I never taught her, durr hey?

It is becoming increasingly easy to find men overseas with similar stories. 34-year old Dave of Detroit, in the United States, keeps a blog about his daily life with his Real Doll. They take walks together, eat together, and share secrets in bed just like a real married couple.

I can just see us attempting to do that. Either I’m blithely dragging her along by one arm, or hoisting her onto my back for a ride, and killing the pair of us.
And for the record, that’s Davecat, not Dave. Davecat, Esq. Well, maybe not esquire, but I’m working on it.

Here, the article’s broken up by a couple of pics of Synthetiks who are clearly CandyGirls, and not RealDolls. Another mark for lack of research!

He confessed his feelings about loneliness and the Real Doll. “I was always alone ever since I was a child. I think it was because of my appearance…”

Initially, people could handle my two sets of horns and prehensile tail, but then one Summer, I developed a row of glistening black eyeballs across my forehead. For some bizarre reason, that put people off!

“Suzi (the name of his Real Doll) is the first woman I had sex with and she does everything I want…”

Suzi? SUZI?? How the hell did they parse Sidore into Suzi? Did they just stop translating at the first letter and randomly select a female name that also starts with ‘S’?
And unfortunately Shi-chan (the first Synthetik woman I had sex with, just so you know) doesn’t do everything. She’s categorically refused to allow me to use her as a table or a chair, in the style of Allen Jones, for example.

“my mother, who is deceased, really wanted me to meet a girl but I think she understood that with the doll I’m not so lonely.”

Actually, unless Korea knows something I don’t, mum is above ground, and doing quite well. I spoke with her yesterday, as a matter of fact. No ouija board or scrying-glass was needed!
Also, they may be confusing (or just fusing) me with Everard, whose mother has in fact passed, and has said things to this effect in ‘Guys and Dolls / Love me, love my Doll’.

Men who only date their Real Dolls are mostly people who trouble fitting in to society. Because of their appearance or sexual experiences they live at home, with few friends, let alone a girlfriend, and purchase a Real Doll to solve those problems and have it them be their friends and lovers. On Dave’s blog he once wrote, “our conversations are one-way but even so I feel thankful to her.”

*facepalms* Where do I even begin with this paragraph?? It’s 95% bullshit!
For one, I think that once you have a Doll, you’re not really dating her — you’ve pretty much skipped that whole process entirely.
My favourite bit out of that cavalcade of conjecture though, is that quote I ‘wrote’. Take a moment to plug that phrase into the Search engine of ‘Shouting etc etc’, and see if you can find it. Go on, I’ll wait.
Did you find it? Heh, neither did I.

And the final paragraph,

Many people are unable to understand how they can treat a doll as their girlfriend. But the only way for them not to be that way is for us to understand them. When we understand their feelings there will no longer be dolls in their beds.

Ahh, but what if a person wants a Doll in their bed? Or did I just blow your mind??
A good spur-of-the-moment analogy would be that some people enjoy Coke, and some people like Pepsi. And then, there are those of us who love Dr pepper. There’s not a thing wrong with Dr pepper; it’s simply another type of beverage…

Anyway, you can find the undissected work of fiction-disguised-as-fact here. It’s left me more amused than angry, if nothing else, but there’s so much mistranslation/appropriation/fanciful bollocks that I’m left wondering if this article came from North Korea, and not the southern half. As we all know, North Korea has their own, shall we say, unique, take on reality