Dentition / it’s Out-of-Context Theatre!!

typed for your pleasure on 3 March 2009, at 12.31 am

Sdtrk: ‘From an ancient star’ by Belbury Poly

As I’d noted years ago, sometimes purchasing an unfamiliar flavour of toothpaste is akin to playing russian roulette, as you run the risk of getting something that tastes like misery itself. On the other hand, last time I was buying groceries, I had to make An Informed Toothpaste Decision, as it appears that Sensodyne has stopped producing my preferred flavour, Fresh Impact; or, at the very least, the store was out of stock. So after choosing another flavour (Fresh Mint), surreptitiously screwing the cap off, squirting a pea of toothpaste onto my fingertip, and giving it a swift lick, I happily discovered that what I’d grabbed wasn’t merely okay, it was actually good. I mean, like, good on the level where I want to use it as a condiment. Under normal circumstances, that would be so wrong it’s right, but as it’s toothpaste and therefore beneficial for you, it’s so right it’s wrong it’s right. Right?

Lately, I’ve been hewing out a couple more posts, as I’ve been getting ideas here and there for some whilst at work, but then I’d get porlocked by clients on the phone, and the ideas would disappear before I could write them down. Fuckin’ clients, man. So enjoy some thought-provoking dialogue ripped from the pages of real life instead!

SCENA: Davecat (aka kuroneko_23; fringe, skinny tie) and MontiLee (aka pendamuse; fox ears, cleavage) attempt to bolt together some plans for their week-ends regarding dinner and photography, circa a couple of years ago.

[03.07.24 PM] pendamuse: okay, so what day – that’s what I’m foggy on
[03.07.41 PM] kuroneko_23: That’s this SATURDAY Saturday saturday
[03.07.47 PM] kuroneko_23: AT TEH SILVERDOME
[03.08.02 PM] pendamuse: We’re doing night shots?
[03.08.10 PM] kuroneko_23: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[03.08.11 PM] kuroneko_23: o
[03.08.19 PM] kuroneko_23: That’s NEXT Saturday.
[03.08.31 PM] kuroneko_23: *checks calendar*
[03.08.51 PM] pendamuse: We’re haveing dinenr this Saturday?
[03.08.54 PM] kuroneko_23: Yes: this Sat, dinnair, next Sat, photeauxs.
[03.08.57 PM] kuroneko_23: YESSU
[03.09.04 PM] pendamuse: Really?
[03.09.09 PM] kuroneko_23: DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE
[03.09.15 PM] pendamuse: But …
[03.09.19 PM] pendamuse: *confused*
[03.09.25 PM] kuroneko_23: I AM DROWSY AND DO NOT KNOW MY STRENGHTS
[03.09.55 PM] kuroneko_23: Am I gonna have to Email our chat log history to you?
[03.10.07 PM] pendamuse:
[03.10.09 PM] pendamuse: yes
[03.10.11 PM] pendamuse: No, I have it
[03.10.15 PM] pendamuse: I just don’t remember
[03.10.19 PM] pendamuse: much
[03.10.21 PM] pendamuse: since the
[03.10.23 PM] pendamuse: thing
[03.10.51 PM] kuroneko_23: The word you’re looking for is ‘lobotomy’. It’s okay, I was there with the camera and the crazy straws.
[03.11.02 PM] pendamuse: *snicker*
[03.11.26 PM] kuroneko_23: You’re still okay with dinner this Sat, right? You’ve not made other, sexier plans?
[03.11.37 PM] pendamuse: *looks around*
[03.11.41 PM] pendamuse: who are you talking to?
[03.11.51 PM] kuroneko_23: Pfft, don’t give me that.
[03.11.53 PM] kuroneko_23: Pfft.
[03.12.02 PM] pendamuse: Saturday is fine
[03.12.07 PM] kuroneko_23: YAY

Attrition and desperation — it’s How We Get Things Done

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

Unusual! / Embarrassing! on January 11th, 2008

The Old Writing Draught of 1806 on November 20th, 2006

7 have spoken to “Dentition / it’s Out-of-Context Theatre!!”

  1. MontiLee writes:

    I’m always amazed when they let me on the Internet or off the premises unsupervised.

  2. Davecat writes:

    I’ve sometimes wondered about that myself! Never aloud around you, though, as I think you’ve stabbed me enough for a single lifetime.

  3. PBShelley writes:

    I’d just say “THROW THE FOUNTAIN THROUGH THE WINDOW” but I fear it’d just be too damned obscure a reference.

    Anyway. Just making use of my time since a half-hour was wasted on my previous reply o.O

    And toothpaste: If you’re going to be stuffing paste into your mouth, it’s at least GOT to be somewhat tasteful. The better the better. I’m glad that you’ve moved onto something even tastier 😀

    Now if only I could get beyond that Crest crap that I’m so used to…

    Cheers!

  4. Laura writes:

    My doctor had me on one prescription that tasted like candy. I would suck on it instead of swallowing.
    Wow….a lot of unintentional innuendos in there…I guess this also isn’t helping my ‘druggie’ status.
    I plead the fifth.

  5. Davecat writes:

    PBS and LDS –
    I think you’ve actually out-obscured me with your window fountain reference! I bow to your mastery of the Enigmatic.
    So what does it mean? 🙂

    Re.toothspaste: I used to be a Pearl drops addict for years, as well as Close-up. Close-up was ace cos it tasted like fine cinnamon, and Pearl drops just has that ‘your mouth has taken a shower’ feel to it. I learned years after my whirlwind affair with Pearl drops that it actually isn’t a toothpaste — it’s a tooth polish. You’re technically supposed to use it after you’ve brushed your teeth with standard toothpaste. Yes. I ask you: who has time for all that double-brushing??

    Laura-chan –
    There’s more innuendos there than in your typical episode of Benny Hill. Not that I’m complaining. 😉
    And never plead the fifth; just drink it! Then brush your teeth afterwards, to cut down on that gin smell & taste. Only after that you may return to your cubicle and get back to work. That’s how I get through my workdays!

  6. Lovedoll writes:

    I need video how make doll body.Please recommend me

  7. Davecat writes:

    Now this would be an Out-of-context comment! Heh.

    Err, well, as I’m not a Doll manufacturer, I don’t have any videos to share with you. Most manufacturers, from what I understand, follow the basic moulding rules that you would if you were creating anything in silicone, but as far as particulars, they keep their cards close to the vest, as they want to protect the uniqueness of their products.

    Besides, if I were a Doll manufacturer, I’d never leave the apartment!…

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