Fact-checking is for the weak

typed for your pleasure on 28 November 2008, at 4.14 pm

Sdtrk: ‘The November men’ by Death in June

Greetings, new readers who’ve arrived at ‘Shouting to hear the echoes’, due to the link provided by Korea Beat! For the record, that post that sent you here? It’s riddled with errors. Riddled. This is what occurs when you use a blender to edit your articles. Let’s go over the highlights with a red pen, shall we?

The Real Dolls, made of a material similar to silicone, really look and feel just like a real person. And at 40 to 50 kilograms they even weigh as much as a woman. They can wear makeup and the more expensive ones can even eat.

Y’know, if I could get Sidore to cook for the pair of us, that would save so much time. Maybe she never learned how cos I never taught her, durr hey?

It is becoming increasingly easy to find men overseas with similar stories. 34-year old Dave of Detroit, in the United States, keeps a blog about his daily life with his Real Doll. They take walks together, eat together, and share secrets in bed just like a real married couple.

I can just see us attempting to do that. Either I’m blithely dragging her along by one arm, or hoisting her onto my back for a ride, and killing the pair of us.
And for the record, that’s Davecat, not Dave. Davecat, Esq. Well, maybe not esquire, but I’m working on it.

Here, the article’s broken up by a couple of pics of Synthetiks who are clearly CandyGirls, and not RealDolls. Another mark for lack of research!

He confessed his feelings about loneliness and the Real Doll. “I was always alone ever since I was a child. I think it was because of my appearance…”

Initially, people could handle my two sets of horns and prehensile tail, but then one Summer, I developed a row of glistening black eyeballs across my forehead. For some bizarre reason, that put people off!

“Suzi (the name of his Real Doll) is the first woman I had sex with and she does everything I want…”

Suzi? SUZI?? How the hell did they parse Sidore into Suzi? Did they just stop translating at the first letter and randomly select a female name that also starts with ‘S’?
And unfortunately Shi-chan (the first Synthetik woman I had sex with, just so you know) doesn’t do everything. She’s categorically refused to allow me to use her as a table or a chair, in the style of Allen Jones, for example.

“my mother, who is deceased, really wanted me to meet a girl but I think she understood that with the doll I’m not so lonely.”

Actually, unless Korea knows something I don’t, mum is above ground, and doing quite well. I spoke with her yesterday, as a matter of fact. No ouija board or scrying-glass was needed!
Also, they may be confusing (or just fusing) me with Everard, whose mother has in fact passed, and has said things to this effect in ‘Guys and Dolls / Love me, love my Doll’.

Men who only date their Real Dolls are mostly people who trouble fitting in to society. Because of their appearance or sexual experiences they live at home, with few friends, let alone a girlfriend, and purchase a Real Doll to solve those problems and have it them be their friends and lovers. On Dave’s blog he once wrote, “our conversations are one-way but even so I feel thankful to her.”

*facepalms* Where do I even begin with this paragraph?? It’s 95% bullshit!
For one, I think that once you have a Doll, you’re not really dating her — you’ve pretty much skipped that whole process entirely.
My favourite bit out of that cavalcade of conjecture though, is that quote I ‘wrote’. Take a moment to plug that phrase into the Search engine of ‘Shouting etc etc’, and see if you can find it. Go on, I’ll wait.
Did you find it? Heh, neither did I.

And the final paragraph,

Many people are unable to understand how they can treat a doll as their girlfriend. But the only way for them not to be that way is for us to understand them. When we understand their feelings there will no longer be dolls in their beds.

Ahh, but what if a person wants a Doll in their bed? Or did I just blow your mind??
A good spur-of-the-moment analogy would be that some people enjoy Coke, and some people like Pepsi. And then, there are those of us who love Dr pepper. There’s not a thing wrong with Dr pepper; it’s simply another type of beverage…

Anyway, you can find the undissected work of fiction-disguised-as-fact here. It’s left me more amused than angry, if nothing else, but there’s so much mistranslation/appropriation/fanciful bollocks that I’m left wondering if this article came from North Korea, and not the southern half. As we all know, North Korea has their own, shall we say, unique, take on reality

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat? (Apr 2006) on April 1st, 2006

Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat? (July 2014): Part I on July 23rd, 2014

18 have spoken to “Fact-checking is for the weak”

  1. singer writes:

    it was translated from korean, hence all the mistakes in names and misquoting. i’m sure koreabeat just translates, doesn’t act as a real reporter

  2. Sonagi writes:

    I’m not surprised to see that details of your story were altered or fabricated. Korean reporters have vivid imaginations.

  3. Veach writes:

    Commenting on this subject is something I (and I suspect other frequent readers) rarely do. But, hell, here goes:

    I consider Ms Kuroneko, and your relationship with her, to be fully ensconced on sacred land.

    A corollary: I’m an artist who doesn’t sell enough to eat (my pension permits survival). Although I rarely receive a ‘that’s total shite’, I get scads of confused stares and dozens of ‘don’t get it’, ‘what is it?’, or ‘whazit mean?’. I smile and provide a reply from my stock of non-answers. But, (I finally get to the point) when someone says: Why have you shelved your substantial resume to do this?…you’re wasting your life. No reply I give will be sufficient, they don’t realize their words are hurtful, and it’s clear, to me, they’re unaware that my life choice is sacred and they are treading where they are unwelcome.

    Pam says, ‘Don’t joust with fools’ and I agree. Just like same-sex couples and members of bi-racial relationships, you should never justify yourself. Ideally, you’d never feel the need to justify yourself . . . maybe in the year 2525?

  4. Kat writes:

    Hahaha….how silly.

  5. Laura writes:

    There’s just no love for you guys out there with horns and a fetish for tables. 😉

    If it makes you feel any better, for the longest time people in my home town said my best friend (whom is also my cousin) and I were lesbian lovers. We’d just say, we’re incestbians, get it right. 😀

  6. steelhorse writes:

    I did follow the link from KoreaBeat to your blog. I was very interested in your comments–it blows my mind how inept and just plain f@#king lazy Korean reporters are. I’ve heard stories, but your comments are solid proof. As a journalism major myself, I am thoroughly disgusted with Korean journalistic ‘ethics’. As someone who has lived in Korea for a long time, I know better than to believe anything these idiots publish in their so called ‘news’ papers. More people living in Korea, and especially Koreans themselves, should be made aware of this incredible situation. Thanks for the expose. Glad to hear you are more amused than angry. As for myself, I gotta admit: I’m more angry than amused.

  7. Everard writes:

    “When we understand their feelings there will no longer be dolls in their beds.”
    That was surely written by a teenage ‘chav’ still unable to grasp simple concepts like cause and effect.

  8. Davecat writes:

    singer –
    That’s pretty much the consensus: the article wasn’t written by the Korea Beat people; they’re just the translators. But more on that later…

    Sonagi –
    Heh; more on that later…

    Veach –
    I once went to a restaurant that had on its tables packets of sugar for coffee / tea / bratwurst / etc. The unique thing about them, though, was that the packets sported several different aphorisms. I collected them all, but the one that your comments bring to mind would be words that I do my best to live by: ‘Never explain — your friends don’t need it, and your enemies won’t believe you anyway.’

    As always, I do enjoy explaining the whys and wherefores of my relationship with Suzi Sidore, but for effective explanation, the questioner has to have an open mind. Anyone can ask ‘why?’, but it’s another thing to ask why and to understand the answer provided; a lot of people don’t have that kind of objectivity. However (I finally get to my point 😉 ), I think it’s important to explain, as it does get truth and facts out there. If a person chooses not to accept the facts, that’s their loss. But since the facts are available, someone else might learn them and understand.

    Honestly, I’ve been meaning to see a doctor about this diarrhoea of the mouth. 🙂

    Kat –
    I would agree! At least the fact-distortion isn’t as bad as that pathetic Marie Claire UK article, though. Nothing tops that for ‘lies-as-fact’ journalism. You’ll have to do better than that, Korea!

  9. Davecat writes:

    Laura –
    Horny blokes need love, too. Ahh, that was awful. 😀

    And incestbians! That’s a word we have to forcibly shoehorn into the popular vernacular. Granted, unless you’re in the Appalachias, you might not have a lot of chances to use it, but…
    People love dwama! This is why ‘reality’ television is so popular! Also, lazy writers in Hollywood.

    steelhorse –
    You say ineptitude and idiocy are the order of the day with Korean news? That’s kinda startling. But then, a friend of mine has a wife that used to work for one of the major newspapers in Detroit, and she quit after having worked there for years, due to stories being suppressed / altered / what-have-you, so you can find lazy journos worldwide. But I genuinely wonder if it’s laziness or if it’s something else that doesn’t really encourage fact-checking… like censorship? As you’ve lived in Korea longer than I have (0 years), you might have more of an idea why than I ever would… But more on that later!

    Everard –
    Well, chavs are a problem. But you give them too much credit by saying they can ‘write’ or ‘form a complete sentence’ or ‘stand upright without dragging their knuckles’.

    You’re entirely right, though. That sentence is like saying ‘If we stop making guns, everyone will be in love with the world’, or something equally facile. However, you have to admit, that line of rubbish thought fits in perfectly with the rest of the article.

    And good to see you round here again! Tell your lovely lasses the Missus and I say Hi. Orright, bruv? 🙂

  10. Davecat writes:

    This is the ‘later’ that I kept referring to! I Emailed a link to this post to the Korea Beat crew, and this was their response:

    Hi Davecat,

    Thanks for writing. Sometimes people mentioned in one of my translations don’t realize I’m just the messenger and demand retractions. When I was translating the article I got the sense that it might have been partially based on an English-language article, so I tried to find the interview where those quotes supposedly came from. But of course I couldn’t since they aren’t real quotes — it’s not uncommon for Korean reporters to make up quotes and anecdotes (it’s possible that “Mr. A” is also fictional.). Anyway, I’m glad that you have a sense of humor about it.

    [one of the Korea Beat blokes]

    ‘But of course I couldn’t since they aren’t real quotes — it’s not uncommon for Korean reporters to make up quotes and anecdotes.’
    Wow. Just… wow. 😐

  11. SafeTinspector writes:

    Well, you may not go for walks with her, but the skate-board mounted crucifix in your apartment has only one purpose, my friend, and it isn’t for grinding at a KKK rally.

  12. SafeTinspector writes:

    Oh, and, I second your “wow.”

    Its like I tell my 7-year-old. If you lie randomly and often, then I have no idea when you are actually telling the truth. It gets to the point that if a story is at all interesting you assume it is a lie until proven otherwise.

    I imagine that’s the way most Korean media consumers must work.

  13. Laura writes:

    I love how they linked the equally credible Salon article, which (correct me if I’m wrong) is the infamous UK Marie Claire story regurgated.

    And I do, unfortnately, live in the South. There are pros, like sweet tea, and cons like ingnorance and racism.

  14. Davecat writes:

    What a hideous state of affairs Korean news outlets must be in then, if they all take a cue from FAUX news. Heh, ‘news’ in heavy quotation marks.

    HAY! Ixnay on the ateboardskay with the ucifixcray! That’s a state secret!

    And that has to be the only time in recorded history that the word ‘crucifix’ has been translated into Pig Latin. This is a momentous day!

    Laura –
    O no; actually the Salon article is legitimate! It’s a slightly cut-down version of M.Laslocky’s can’t-say-enough-good-things-about-it article. But the Marie Claire UK write-up was basically Meghan’s story with all the truth surgically excised from it. You can learn more about it at your local library!

    Sorry to hear you live in the South. But we still love you anyway. 🙂

  15. PBShelley writes:

    “Wow. Just… wow.” Word-for-word and punctuation-for-punctuation, you took the words right out of my mouth. Er, fingers, even. When I first read this I was going to respond with that, but I snoozed and losed LOL Thank you for crystallizing my thoughts to perfection!

    And I’ll just add that Meghan’s (FULL) article was/is still probably the best Idollator piece written thus far (but I haven’t read them all). AND among my most pleasurable and professional interviews as well!

    She also took the brunt of the barbs thrown by those &!+<#@$ at That Forum Which Shall Not Be Named in your defense, so she gains huge points for that too 🙂

    And it’s great to see Everhard present and accounted for!

    PBS, Lily & Eden (and Pennie the Idollatrous cat) (is that a word?) (yet?)

  16. steelhorse writes:

    Hey Davecat,

    Just checking back on this thread to see what’s new. In my previous comment, I did not mean to imply that Korean journalists are alone in inept reporting. That’s also a sad story of yours about the woman in Detroit. However, I don’t think its representative of most American newspapers. I worked in a few American newsrooms (out west) during and right after college. Any reporter making up quotes or changing facts around would be immediately fired on discovery. But then again, I understand that editors and publishers can and do put pressure on reporters to slant news one way or the other–that does indeed go on at many newspapers everywhere.

    To answer your question, it’s laziness, not censorship that drives Korean journalists into realms of fantasy. KoreaBeat’s comment above was right on the money. Most Korean journalists (not all) are just too damn lazy to get out of their easy chair or to pick up the phone. I actually applied for a job at one of the big English newspapers in Korea. They liked my resume, and offered me the job. But after talking to couple of other American editors there, I heard about this facet of Korean journalism and took a pass. I was reminded of that by your recent brush with the Korean media.

    The reason this pisses me off is that the Korean media routinely publish stories that bash foreigners in Korea, especially English teachers. (I turned down the newspaper job and went the route of English teaching, and am now a satisfied professor at a university here. Nobody pressures me to teach a certain way, and I take pride in putting forth a lot of effort to prepare for my courses.) So when I read in Korean newspapers about English teacher A who sexually abused his students and “rubbed his face between the breasts of his student” I can just imagine that more than 50 percent of the article is pure bullshit. Of course, my students don’t realize this, and I have to deal with their negative attitudes towards all foreign English teachers. Koreans tend to be less critical of what they read in newspapers, and more willing to believe what authority tells them, and finally, they really like to lump individuals into larger groups.

    Anyway, this is far from the realm of your blog. Sorry to take up so much space with my rant. It’s just an interesting turn of events. And I am thinking that the next time I catch attitude from students about something they read in their ‘news’papers, I might use your comments above to show them actually how much of these articles are pure bullshit. Hopefully, that might open a few eyes.

    Take care man.

  17. jaems writes:

    Besides the blatant misquotation, poor grammar, etc that this “journalist” displayed. I think we need to focus on the real issue here, Esquire…. And that is, Suzi is Schizophrenic!


    Ps… My host is down right now ergo the shattering of glass. I haven’t touched the WP 2.7 upgrade yet so don’t let that stop you, old friend.

  18. Davecat writes:

    PeeBee Shelley (and lasses) (and Pennie) –
    I had to laugh at the first paragraph of your comment; back when I used to watch Letterman on a regular basis (which was back when he was on NBC, which shows you how old this anecdote dates), oftentimes Paul Shaffer would make a comment on something or other, and Dave would respond with ‘Paul, you have crystallised my thoughts perfectly’. So there you go. *flings card through ‘window’* 🙂

    You’re right — Meghan’s full piece is, as far as I’m concerned, the standard by which all articles about iDollator culture should be graded against. She did such a fantastic job that she recently told me a publisher offered her a deal, should she write a book about the subject for them. I personally can’t think of anyone better suited to the task. Apart from, perhaps, the esteemed Elisabeth Alexandre. I need to contact her and find out what she’s been up to, as it’s been years…

    steelhorse –
    ‘Koreans tend to be less critical of what they read in newspapers, and more willing to believe what authority tells them, and finally, they really like to lump individuals into larger groups.’
    Huh. I kinda figured that played a large part of it, but I didn’t think it was that large. Rather like that whole groupthink sentiment the Japanese have of ‘the nail that sticks up gets hammered down’. Even though it’s more prevalent in North Korea, do you think maybe that whole silly juche ideal is a part of it?

    I suppose a lot of it can be chalked up to plain ol’ xenophobia, too. As open as other countries are in welcoming non-natives, there’s still that undercurrent of suspicion and distrust of foreigners that probably drives these exaggerations. In my case, it could be ‘look how weird this American is; it’s as if he’s from another world’, and with that maligned English teacher, it could be ‘see, we can’t trust foreigners, as a Korean teacher would never behave like that’. Both examples are reeking with bigoted conjecture, but it’s a lot easier for someone to stick to their own half-baked ideas, as researching the genuine truth would require effort. The unfortunate thing is that the press has a duty to not make shit up, but I suppose that Korea in general doesn’t agree.

    Wow (again). Thanks for the more-detailed insight, though! And do feel free to cite our encounter with the Korean press as an example to others! Something’s got to change, and it’s got to start somewhere, y’know?

    Jaems –
    Hmm… that might well explain her ambidextrous ability. 😉

    And I’ve yet to attempt the whole WP upgrade. A stiff drink might help…

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