Quarterly Report for Shareholders

typed for your pleasure on 30 March 2008, at 4.16 am

Sdtrk: ‘Butcher’s tale (Western front 1914)’ by the Zombies

Never let it be said that I don’t mention personal occurences in my life! NEVER LET IT BE SAID, UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH.

+ Remember how at the arse end of 2007, I was whinging about my inability to write anything? It seems things have picked up, as I CAN’T STOP WRITING. You’ll be pleased to know that my Muse is off her holidays, and I’ve got like ten posts in the hopper as of this writing. Well, three are half-complete, but that’s still a rather impressive sum. Better start placing bets now as to when the well dries up

+ After six months of peaceful cohabitation, Tsukihime is moving out of Deafening silence Plus. She’s gotten engaged to some bloke, and as continuing to live here would prove quite awkward to all parties involved, she’s a-movin’ on up. Well, out. Sidore and I wish her the best of luck.
Now we can hold all of those cotillions in the livingroom that we’ve been itching to host!

+ Did you see the ‘Media appearances’ page up there in the Personal bits section, left sidebar, up at the top? Originally, I was just going to create that for Sweetie’s oft-neglected site, but then I figured there’s no reason it can’t be on my blog as well. So there it is! It should go without saying that those are all the appearances that we approve of; there’s one that doesn’t get our Stamp of Approval, as it’s 50% fallacy and 50% supposition. But we don’t talk about that one

+ Due to spambot infiltration screwing up peoples’ ability to leave comments, I might well attempt an upgrade of WordPress quite soon. Wish me the best of luck, otherwise… well, I shudder to think what may happen

+ This may be the Greatest Picture Ever. It’s pretty hard to dispute, I’m sure you’ll agree.

‘Tis true, Your Lordſhip iſ a ſtraight-up pimp’

+ And finally, I conclude with a haiku I dredged from teh Intarwub:

Haikus are pretty neat
But sometimes they don’t make sense

That is all!

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Sydney calling / Newer than Neu

typed for your pleasure on 24 March 2008, at 8.54 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Les mains dans les poches’ by Les Roche Martin

Back in the spotlight! Yesterday, I spent a pleasant 40 minutes on the phone with Josephine Tovey, who was writing up an article about RealDolls for the Sydney Morning Herald, mostly due to the fact that Australia (and the UK) will finally be screening ‘Lars and the Real Girl‘ in the next couple of weeks. She wanted the views and opinions of an iDollator, in regards to the film and being a Doll husband and things of that nature. So she asked me, for reasons I cannot fathom. I know nothing of these ‘Dolls’! My silicone-based wife was shipped strapped securely into a wooden crate, after sixteen weeks of painstaking sculpture and assembly, just like anyone else’s.
It should be on their website as well as in print, but Josephine said it should be hitting the stands on 5 April. Now, I’m aware that that’s the same day the new series of Doctor Who starts up, but don’t let that distract you; you can always TiVo it.

Also, 4woods comes through again! They have a new model — well, a new head, really — due out very soon; a charming NEO-J-type named Ally.


She looks a bit like Neu, but even more elfin, if that’s even physically possible. You can get her in either ‘Natural’ or ‘Asian’ skintones (as seen above), and much like the Neu-types, you can swap out the pointy ears for regular ones. Rather nice!

So there you have it. New interview, new A.I.Doll. Two things for everyone to look forward to

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A comment caveat / Well, dental hygiene is pretty important

typed for your pleasure on 20 March 2008, at 11.48 am

Sdtrk: ‘He is everywhere nowhere’ by Current93

JUST SO YOU KNOW: Quite a few people — perhaps even you — have been wanting to post a comment, and finding that either the comments have been turned off, or the reply function is simply no longer there. Heh, you’ll love this: lately, ‘Shouting etc etc’ has been getting hit by some bizarre virus that does two things — it not only deactivates the ability for people to post comments or make pings for some posts, but it also throws a shitload of spam links into the bottom of each post. Now this is going to sound like the ravings of a lunatic, but the links are coded so that they’re invisible. No, seriously. If you view these infected posts via a cellphone browser (like I did), you’ll see lines and lines of spam links. It’s the strangest damn thing.
Originally, I thought it was due to the Technorati tags I was using, as the first time this occurred, it was in February’s ‘Any Doll-related news etc’ post, so I got rid of the tags, but the comments would still shut off and those spam links would come back.

What it boils down to is that I undoubtedly need to upgrade WordPress, which I intend on doing soon, otherwise the homicides will begin. In the interim, if you don’t see the reply function for a post, seriously — reply in another post, and I’ll just transfer the bastard to where it’s supposed to be.
We here at Deafening silence Plus thank you for your patience and patronage! No, seriously.

So recently I dreamt that Shi-chan and I were driving round the suburbs — it looked a bit like the Grosse pointe area, but you know how it is with dreams mutating things that actually exist in your mind into totally new things — and some chunky bloke with a paper bag over his head stepped in front of our car at a stop sign, and handed me an index card. He then took his paper bag off, revealing his shaven-head and his broad smile, and stepped away as I drove off. Sidore read the card: there was a paragraph at the top, stating the message was from a college fraternity, and that they apparently liked our work. (??) They went on to explain that if we were to go to the URL provided below, we’d see some guy in Texas that looked exactly like me. ‘Huh,’ I remarked.

The dream then cut to footage of this bloke. The video quality was similar to that weird video black & white that you get with closed-circuit television, but a little sharper, and it even had a running timecode in the upper right corner. Unlike a CCTV camera, though, it wasn’t fixed in one position. It centred on this bloke that could’ve been my identical twin — his facial features were the exact same as mine, but his ponytail was around two feet long, and he was wearing a hoodie, which is something I’d never do. He was seated in the front row of a college classroom, a couple of columns toward the centre. At one point during the course of the footage, he pulled a toothbrush out of his bag, applied some toothpaste to it, and proceeded to brush his teeth right there in the middle of class. No-one seemed to notice, except the girl behind him, who tapped him on the shoulder and said something chastising. Or at least, I assume it was something chastising, as the video didn’t have sound. He stopped to listen to her, then kept on brushing.

Then the dream cut to Shi-chan and I watching the video (on YouTube, naturally). For some reason, the room we were in was dark, and the monitor illuminated our faces. ‘I don’t know what to make of that,’ Sidore commented.
Dopplegängers! Honestly, you just can’t get away from them…

Happy Vernal Equinox, people! I’m hoping for a short Summer, but a long Spring. And an even longer Autumn

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200,000 hits!

typed for your pleasure on 15 March 2008, at 2.47 pm

Sdtrk: ‘The hidden door’ by Belbury Poly

Yes, I know! It’s unbelievable! In fact, it’s so unbelievable that my brain cannot comprehend that it happened, and instantly replaces the number with the phrase ABBA’s many whenever I gaze at the post’s title.
200,000! Do numbers even go that high??

This is all thanks to you, the faithful readers of ‘Shouting etc etc’! Also, some thanks can be sent to those who are merely curious, and found the site due to rummaging through the search engine of their choice. Come for the Albert Speer-esque architecture, the mensur fencing, and of course, the Dolls; stay for the repartee!

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typed for your pleasure on 13 March 2008, at 2.20 am

Sdtrk: ‘Ash on the trees (The sudden ebb of a diatribe)’ by Sunn O))) meets Nurse with wound

That’s right, another one already. But there’s a sackful of stuff to mention! Plus, there’s a synchronistic reason I’m posting this so soon after last month’s, which you’ll see at the end…

First, do you know German? Do you know a German, who coincidentally knows German? Tell them they should get to work and subtitle this videoclip that aired recently on the German documentary show, Polylux. Not just for your best friends Davecat and Sidore, but for all iDollators and curious parties. Yeah, altruism.

What, no tea for her?

RealDolls – wenn Männer Puppen lieben

The new dream women are called Melanie, Claudia or Annika. They are 1,65m largely, 50 Kilos heavily – and consist of silicone. Some men cannot live no more without it.
taken from this site

Someone ripped it to YouTube, but they only managed to get part of it, and YouTube pulled it a couple of hours later, due to copyright cockfighting. Not only does it feature Harald und Ramona above, who seem like a nice couple, but you get to see Deutsche iDollator Dollcaretaker spending time with his lovely ladies Annika and Melanie. Worth watching! But IT NEEDS ENGLISH SUBTITLES. I AM SERIOUS. Also, I need some way to get a copy of it. My demands are simple.

Now, for those of you who’ve been keeping up with Phoenix Studios Grande Masterplan, you’ll know that the March Boy Toy Doll is available. I can’t believe Miss Hyde scooped me on that. Clearly I’m losing my edge.

Does she taste minty, like a Shamrock shake? SOLD

Since the Dolls seem to be styled after what makes that particular month most memorable (December = Xmas, February = Valentine’s day, etc), I can’t wait to see Miss October. rrrRowr.

Also! According to a post by the good Technosexuals over at spurtBOT, they spotted an article from futurist and pro-Synthetik writer Richard Evans, wherein he interviews Hiroshi Ishiguro, the genius behind the Actroid series.

The professor is passionate about the duties of scientists and what they should achieve on behalf of the public, with public money – ‘we are here to continue research and to make a better world, not build and preserve our own small empires’. He is also a devoted father, and comes across as a complex character – pragmatic and direct. […] When questioned on funding, he explains that none of the lab’s money comes from the military, as Japan doesn’t have an army (only a self-defence force) – ‘so we are able to develop robots that help people, not hurt them’. It is perhaps telling that his favourite movie is Bicentennial Man, based on Isaac Asimov’s short story and starring Robin Williams. This tale of a robotic helper who wants to become human is key to Ishiguro’s vision of a future populated with robots that assist us and become useful members of society.
taken from this site

Also revealed in the interview is that David Hanson of Hanson Robotics will soon be joining forces with Ishiguro-san’s Osaka Labs, to work together on future projects. Pretty ace, I’d say…
While we’re on the topic of Synthetiks builders, whatever happened to Shunichi Mizuno? I remember seeing footage of his sexy Marilyn Monroe Gynoid on an episode of ‘Ripley’s Believe it or Not!’ ages ago, and the man seems to have disappeared entirely from existence. The way things are with contemporary artificial human development, he’s missing out on all the fun!

Japan has come forth with another new Doll manufacturer: Fivestars Laboratory Inc. To be honest, they’re not really new, as I recall seeing their name on teh Internuts before, but their new product, the Dollche series of 1/1 scale ball-joint Dolls, is rather attention-getting.

She’s got good guitar-playing fingers

Their Type 910 model boasts 55 movable joints, and stands at 147 cm, with measurements of B.33 / W.20 / H.30. Hrrm, tiny. And despite all those measurements listed, they don’t say how much they weigh…
Even though the site has a fair amount of English (heh, ‘Engrish’), they don’t seem to offer their product for sale outside Japan. At which point, I suppose you’d get on the horn to your favourite deputy service, and start working out some arrangements…

You can view a rather Hideaki Anno-esque promotional film on Dollche’s YouTube page. Personally, they’re too small, and I find their features are a bit too Doll-like — which may seem a strange epithet coming from me, but I can’t say I’m too keen on the eyes, as they’re a wee bit too stylised for my tastes. However, this isn’t to say that I don’t like the Dollche series as an idea. But that’s a given, really. 1/1 scale ball-joint Dolls? That sort of concept hasn’t been in use since Hans Bellmer made his lasses!

And speaking of Bellmer, today would’ve been his 106th birthday! (Yes, I still have to write an extended post about the man, don’t remind me.) Here’s to one of the more famous iDollators in history! Thanks to his unique and somewhat pervy Surrealist vision, he’s gained a certain immortality

ADDENDUM (16 March): Ask and ye shall receive: an alert reader in Germany wrote up a translation to the Harald und Ramona segment mentioned above. Check it out in the Comments section!

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On Merzbow: supplemental

typed for your pleasure on 7 March 2008, at 2.12 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Polar bear’ by Little claw

(In case it’s slipped your mind, go back and read this post first. Or not! I cannot stop you. At least, not from here.)

Of course, it’s one thing entirely to describe Noise, but if you have no reference points, you might be completely at sea. So I’ve generously uploaded a handful of tracks from Masami’s staggeringly enormous backcatalogue, as a kind of half-assed sampler. Remember, the files will only be up for a limited time, so make with the clicking and saving, like, RIGHT NOW.

‘Nimmappa’, from Aka meme, 1985
‘3 types of industrial pollusion’, from Antimonument, 1991
‘Traveling’, from Metalvelodrome: Exposition of electro-vivisection, 1993
‘Part 1’, from Noisembryo: Psycho-analytic study of coital noise posture, 1994
‘Woodpecker No.1’, from Pulse demon, 1995 (yes, that’s where my Gmail Eddress comes from)
‘Bozzio’, from Springharp: Last of analog sessions, 1999
‘Takemitsu’, from Amlux, 2002
‘Green’, from Merzzow, 2002
clicky here! (90 MB) File has expired, sorry.

CAVEAT: As Merzbow is a Noise artist, you might want to mind the volume level on your speakers. Just sayin’

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Like Robert Longo, but with cars

typed for your pleasure on 5 March 2008, at 12.47 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Thick as thieves’ by the Jam

Remember Cai Guo-Qiang, that artist bloke that I wrote about last year, with his cadre of Synthetik wolves impacting upon glass panes? Well, he did it again last year with another frozen-moments-as-installation-piece, entitled ‘Inopportune’. Nice!

Ford Tauruses… aren’t normally supposed to do that

The centerpiece of Inopportune, titled Inopportune: Stage 1, features a dazzling array of colored light pulsing from hundreds of long transparent rods. These rods thrust out from nine identical white cars which tumble in an arc through the gallery, suspended in mid-air as if by stop-action. Gradually the viewer perceives that an explosive event is unfolding in nine frozen frames. At the end of the sequence the car lands safely, unaltered, implying a closed and repeatable circuit.
taken from this article

I don’t know about you, but I’m looking at that picture above, and seeing album cover.
Cai Guo-Qiang, you’re building up an impressive CV! We’re going to have to keep an eye on you

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