Sdtrk: ‘Laetitia’ by The Summer hits
AAAGHH SAFETINSPECTOR TAGGED ME HORRIBLE FLESH-EATING MEME YEARGH ETC.
Name 7 films.
In no particular order,
+ if…. (1968): Malcolm McDowell plays teenaged rebel Mick Travis, as he and his two mates run riot within and without an English public school. From fencing on the street with imaginary foils, to plotting assassinations on the school faculty, Mick is the perfect model of a cunning sociopath
+ Trainspotting (1996): Being the adventures of young Scots lad Mark Renton, as he strives to develop a relationship with a lass named Diane. O, also he and his mates are hopelessly addicted to heroin. Say what you will about them, though, but they’re a charismatic bunch of tossers.. Also contains a lovely soundtrack, and is eminently quotable
+ Koroshiya Ichi (2001): The film that turned me on to Takashi Miike, it features several doomed yakuza, the luscious Alien Sun, a pair of completely insane twin detectives, a masochist with his face covered in scars, and a weeping, onanistic killing machine. I still have idle dreams of cosplaying as Ichi one day, blades-in-boots and everything
+ Withnail and I (1987): Two out-of-work actors — one mildly paranoid, the other fantastically drunk — decide to take a holiday in the English countryside during the last year of the Sixties. Hilarity ensues! Eminently quotable
+ A clockwork orange (1971): Kubrick. Burgess. McDowell. Seventies dystopian England. Beethoven filtered through Carlos. Ultraviolence. ‘I was cured, all right.’ Fucking winner
+ M (1931): I remember first seeing this in film class back in the Nineties; unfortunately, I hadn’t had enough sleep, and nodded off like two minutes into it. I awoke shortly before the heads of Berlin’s underworld have Hans (Peter Lorre) trapped in the building, and were trying their best to find him before the cops got to him first. As that part really captivated me, I rented it the next day to watch it from start to finish. It was then that I realised that from that point in the film onward, that that was the most intense sequence of a film I’d ever seen, and the preceding parts, although not as tense, were just as gripping. And I’ll tell you — the final scene still gives me shivers every single time I see it
+ Barbarella (1968): Jane Fonda, in her sexalicious pre-Hanoi Jane days, flying across the outer edges of the Universe in pursuit of mad scientist Durand Durand, frequently changing outfits and making sexy time with various individuals. All this, and a soundtrack by The Glitterhouse and The Bob Crewe Generation? Yes
Name 7 books.
I have mixed both Fiction and Fact! Cos actually, most of the books I own are either non-fiction, or reference.
+ Flann O’Brien’s The Third policeman: Probably gets my award for Funniest Surrealist Novel Ever. How does one avoid becoming a bicycle? Can a conscience speak to a person, and have conversations with them? Who is in charge of all the one-legged men in Ireland? Where is the location of Infinity, and how does it operate? Don’t worry, it all makes ‘sense’ in the end
+ Martin Amis’ Dead babies: A group of fabulously degenerate individuals spend an interesting couple of days in a spacious manor in the country. And by ‘interesting’, I mean ‘bold new illegal drugs’, ‘frothing sex parties’, ‘systematic dehumanisation’, ‘shitting down the neighbour’s chimney’ and ‘a metric ton of “the fear”‘. There’s murder; of course. But it’s all done with style!
+ Andy Warhol’s THE Philosophy of Andy Warhol: ‘I have no memory. Every day is a new day because I don’t remember the day before. Every minute is like the first minute of my life. I try to remember but I can’t. That’s why I got married — to my tape recorder. That’s why I seek out people with minds like tape recorders to be with. My mind is like a tape recorder with one button — erase.’
+ George Plimpton’s Edie: Utterly compelling biography of Andy Warhol’s most well-known starlet, as told by family members and friends. Reading it is like viewing a time-lapse film of a cosmic star coming into existence, then growing brighter and brighter, and then finally winking out
+ Albert Camus’ The stranger: Nihilism at its best, and one of the few things that was required reading in highschool that I still enjoy today. Also inspired a certain young man from Crawley to write a famously mis-interpreted song
+ Simon Ford’s Wreckers of civilisation: A fantastic history about the origins and history of Throbbing gristle, the grandfathers (and grandmother) of Industrial music
+ J.D Salinger’s Catcher in the rye: Whereas ‘The stranger’ amplified the ultimate futility of all things, ‘Catcher in the rye’ told me that most everything out there is shit, but there are a precious few things that are worth treasuring. Plus, the simple fact that Jerome David Salinger has managed to remain as reclusive as he is, while still being respected and revered, is equally inspiring
Name 7 city things you like
+ Marina City, Chicago: How cities should be built — vertically, not horizontally
+ Nakagin Capsule tower, Tokyo: Beautiful outside, beautiful and compact inside. Brilliant
+ Subway systems (I picked the ones from Toronto, as they’re the only ones I’ve ever ridden): There’s just something about the architecture of subway stations, coupled with the (relative) efficiency of underground trains. The greenish cast of the fluorescent lighting, the chrome on the subway cars, the many sounds — all of it brings a smile to my face
+ Airports. See ‘Subway systems’ above
+ Multi-storey car parks. There are two kinds of car parks: either you have the grey utilitarian ones that are more commonplace now, or you’ve got the older ones with the dull tarmac floors. Both are ace, as far as I’m concerned. There’s a certain something about car parks — they’re structures that aren’t really built to house people, they’re built to house vehicles — and I find that really Ballardian fascinating
+ Eaton centre, Toronto: You have to understand; I despise malls. By and large, they don’t really carry what I want, and there’s always too many damn people. But Eaton centre has a special charm for me. You might say that it’s only due to the fact that it’s in downtown T.O, but it’s more than that.. I love the way its architecture looks. Glass and metal, metal and glass. If you were to bring someone forward through time, from the Crystal Palace at the Great Exhibition of 1851, to contemporary Eaton centre, they wouldn’t bat an eye. Well, maybe they would. In fact, the shock might well kill ’em. But then, you’d simply go downstairs to Sushi-Q and order a box of inari, and have a seat in the spacious food court, whilst everyone milled round upstairs, wondering why there was a dead person from the 19th Century on the floor. Mmm, inari!
+ And everyone loves the giant motorised crab on the front of Kani Doraku in Osaka. (Here’s a picture with a better sense of scale)
Name 7 things you wanna do before you die
+ 2-week tour of Japan
+ 2-week tour of the UK
+ Visit either Osaka Labs or Kokoro co. Ltd, to meet with Actroid-chan
+ See the Jaquet-Droz kids in Neuchâtel, Switzerland
+ Drive Sidore-chan and myself around in a vintage Fiat 500L or a pre-2002 Mini Cooper
+ Collaborate with Merzbow
+ Visit Oscar Wilde’s grave at Père-Lachaise cemetery in France
Name 7 things you wish you could do but can’t
+ Fly
+ Become invisible at will
+ Phase through solid matter, or allow solid matter to phase through me
+ Stop time
+ Travel forwards or backwards through time at will
+ Create sundry items out of raw matter with naught but my mind
+ Algebra. Err, strike that, reverse it. Wishing I could do algebra is really a waste of a wish
Name 7 things you typically say
+ ‘For feck’s sake’
+ ‘Actually’ (used far, far too much)
+ ‘Rather’
+ ‘Sweet baby James!’ or some variant thereof
+ ‘Cunt’ (used mostly at work)
+ ‘Well done!’
+ ‘YESSU’
Name 7 people you are tagging.
+ As typically explained,
+ people by and large seem to
+ despise being tagged. But if
+ you really want me to brand you
+ with this meme, merely leave
+ a charming message in the
+ comments below
