(posted on Thursday, but written on Wednesday. Please direct all complaints to that brick wall over there)

WHAT D’YE CALL IT? Katamari damacy

IS IT ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, OR MINERAL? a game for the Sony PlayStation 2

WHY ARE YOU RECOMMENDING THIS TO ME, THE SUAVE AND DEBONAIR READER OF ‘SHOUTING TO HEAR THE ECHOES’? It is, in the truest possible sense, a game that can be enjoyed by everyone. It’s innovative, it’s simple, it’s highly addictive, and most importantly, it’s a pantsful ov fun.
You control the Prince of All Cosmos, a 1cm fellow with a rather wide head. One night previously, the King of All Cosmos, a similarly wide-headed individual, had a night on the tiles, and ended up smashing every single star out ov the sky, so he’s naturally delegated the responsibility ov cleaning up the mess to his son, just like a real dad. Heh.
So! The Prince has been sent down to Earth with a sticky ball called a katamari, and has to roll up as much stuff as possible to make enormous junk balls, so the King can turn said balls into stars. I am not making this up. You can pick up anything and everything in this game, and I literally mean ‘anything and everything’ — the only thing you can’t pick up is water. One ov the more delirious stages is Make a Star 6. You start out on a table in a livingroom, rolling up dice and 9-volt batteries, and by the end, you’re rolling up bulldozers and houses. And that’s nothing compared to the final stage, where you have to rebuild the Moon. Fecking ace. 🙂

WHAT WOULD BE YOUR FAVOURITE BIT(S)? O, I dunno, probably the whole damn game. The soundtrack, the sound effects, the Kubrick-esque character design (that’s the Japanese figures, not the film maestro, just so we’re clear), the simplicity ov gameplay (you use both analogue sticks to manoeuvre the ball. That’s it), the replay value, the King’s lysergic/sarcastic quips (‘We hope you can visit Portugal during the day’s rolling. Like that’s possible.’), all ov it’s ace. Did I mention that this game, this slice ov joy burned onto a DVD-ROM, is only $20 USD?? You have absolutely no excuse to pick it up & give it a spin (please pardon bad pun)

WHERE IS THE LINKAGE LOVE? Right here. Here, I say!

NEXT WEEK: Another glowing but frothing review, with quite possibly more descriptive and somewhat unnecessary adjectives!

Let me start out first by saying that because I hate my workplace so much, I’m intentionally avoiding writing about it. For one, the job really isn’t worth more than three seconds’ worth ov attention, and it’s so relentlessly despicable that talking about it outside ov the workplace makes my stomach hurt; also, it’s such a hideous and socially-reviled job that I would be hard-pressed to find people who are sympathetic to my cause (in case you’ve just joined us, it’s telemarketing, but the company prefers the term ‘fundraising’). Finally, I didn’t want ‘Shouting to hear the echoes’ to turn into A Blog Where All I Do Is Bitch About My Job. Personally I feel that people think I’m boring enough as it is; I don’t need to provide additional evidence to support that claim. However, today’s work experience was somewhat noteworthy..

So I’m at my aforementioned loverly workplace today when one ov my colleagues — we’ll call him Slick — stops round to my cubicle for the day’s salutation. He’s one ov the literally four or five employees I will go out ov my way to acknowledge the presence ov, and that’s only cos he was enquiring about my relationship with Kati, who was the one good friend I had at work before, so he’s one ov those ‘you made eye contact with me, now you’re my friend for life’ kind ov fellas. Heh.
At any rate, Slick stops by — while I’m on the phone with someone, mind you (and that’s a topic that I’ll have to address at a later time; how I can’t feckin’ stand it when someone tries talking to me when I’m on a phone) — and after a couple ov brief seconds, he leans towards me and says, sotto voce, ‘Hey, uh, you wouldn’t happen to know where I could get some powder, do ya?’ I’m like ‘What??’; partially cos I was taken aback at the question, as no-one has ever asked me where they could score some drugs from before, and partially cos I was, as previously stated, on the phone, and I’m not talented enough to be able to listen to more than one human at a time.
‘Err, no, actually, I don’t,’ I replied, tilting the mouthpiece on my headset away. He nodded, made the OK sign, then headed for the bog. Ahem. Upon exiting, he passed by one more time and remarked, ‘Hey — be sure to keep this between you & me, huh?’ I gave him a hearty thumbs-up. I mean, really; what else could I do?

Yeeaaah, that’s brilliant. Between the coke addicts, and the white trash whores, and the black trash whores, and the fucking jock with the needlessly loud voice sat in the cubicle right next to me, wow — my workplace is just like Interzone

Originally the plan for the first Sexy Action Installment ov ‘the Wednesday Recommendation’ was for me to go on about my brand spank-me new copy ov Katamari damacy, but the GameStop where I’d reserved my copy hadn’t gotten the shipment in yet, the cakefuckers. Grrr. Perhaps I’ll do my frothing recommendation ov that next week..
So without further ado, here’s this thing..

WHAT D’YE CALL IT? Shaun of the Dead

WHAT IS IT? a feature film

WHY ARE YOU RECOMMENDING THIS TO ME, THE HIP AND SAVVY READER OF ‘SHOUTING TO HEAR THE ECHOES’? Cos any film, zombie-related or otherwise, that has people whacking the bollocks out ov a zombie in time to the rhythm ov Queen’s ‘Don’t stop me now’ deserves to be seen by everyone.
Jeff & I caught this at the Main art theatre last Friday, as he had managed to score a pair ov free passes. We’d seen the trailer a couple ov weeks previously, and were pretty impressed, and I can honestly say the film itself was better than the trailer (which is an increasingly rare statement these days). Shaun, a late-twentynothing slacker, is stuck in a dead-end job, has a flailing relationship with his long-suffering girlfriend Liz, and lives with Ed, who is even more ov a slacker than he is. The normal routine ov spending the eve down the pub for the billionth time gets a bit shaken up when zombies begin to overrun the city. Can Shaun rescue his mum and reconcile with Liz? Moreover, can he do these things before they call time down at the local pub?

WHAT WOULD BE YOUR FAVOURITE BIT(S)? The homage to ‘Reservoir dogs’ scene, and the surprise guest appearances by someone from ‘The Office’ and someone from ‘The League of Gentlemen’

HAVE YOU GOT A LINK FOR THIS, THEN? Why yes!

So how was that?
NEXT WEEK: More ov the same

Alreet, I’m giving this a spin: In order to write, or at the very least, add something to this godforsaken Blog at least once a week, we’re trying this idea on — the WEDNESDAY RECOMMENDATION. Every Wednesday, I’ll give brief kudos to something that I think everyone should look into, whether it’s a Cd, a book, a fillum or videogame. It may even be a concept, such as the Soul of Man Under Socialism. (cue Jeff & Monti snickering) I figure this way, if I write about things I like, I’ll always have something to write about, non?*

THE EXCITEMENT STARTS TOMORROW. Cos tomorrow is Wednesday. See how that works?

*Actually non; it’s a safe bet that there are a hell ov a lot more things in life that I hate than things I like, but frankly, I don’t have that kind ov typin’ time

One ov the ace things about living in this century is the many fab and useful inventions that we can integrate into our daily lives. The wheel. The microwave. The combination cellphone/PalmPilot. The RealDoll. Well, now you can add pyrithione zinc shampoo to that list. Have you tried this stuff? I picked it up on a whim last week when I needed some more shampoo; I usually get the standard dry scalp version ov Head & Shoulders, but I decided to grab the new pyrithione zinc variation, as it boasted ov a ‘cooling sensation’ on the front ov the bottle. And they weren’t lying! It’s as if they injected pure and unrefined peppermint into the bottle. It is truly a cooling sensation not found in any other shampoo; that is, unless you habitually wash your hair with milkshakes. It’s very refreshing!

Ov course, just you wait; ten years down the road, the AMA will undoubtedly release a statement that repeated usage ov pyrithione zinc-based shampoos will cause explosive brain haemmorhages. ‘AARGH IT TINGLES’ *pfft thud*

Wow, Monti’s writing in bulk. Nice!

So there’s the tinkling and while I know damn well Doug has heard it, he makes like he’s in a coma. I know that ploy. I invented that ploy, and dammit he’s good at it. I get up to investigate, and Zeus meets me at the bedroom door. This is a bad sign. This means that Zeus has come to tattle. Zeus cannot jump to places higher than the couch due to a childhood injury (his childhood, not mine) and he has come to tell me that Loki has done something he cannot do, and he resents it so much, he’s going to get Loki in trouble. He practically runs to the window to show me – “see, see what he did. I would never do that, I’m the good one.” Sure enough, Loki has managed to push out the screen, causing it to sit askew in the jamb and letting every bug within a four-block radius into the apartment.

In the future, when she finally becomes the internationally-famous screenwriter that she’s been working on being for the past decade or so, I only hope that she remembers that I catsat for her on a few occasions, so that when I visit her palatial estates, she’ll be less likely to sic armed robotic guard dogs on me. Well, not all ov them, at any rate.
Go visit her Backroom, if you haven’t already. LEAVE AT ONCE!!

Interesting Anecdote™: A couple ov Saturdays ago, Monti & I were hanging around outside ov her apartment, after an interesting / amusing afternoon spent at a Japanese cultural festival. It was evening at that point, and Zeus was outside, wandering around, as is his wont. Now since you’ve never met Zeus before, I will describe him. He is a charming cat who says ‘meh meh’ instead ov ‘miaow’, studied two years ov law at Cambridge, and has markings that make him resemble a scale-model milk cow. (As seen here with his sparring partner Loki.) Anyway, as we were busy nattering on about whatever, a party broke up at the apartment complex next door, and the patrons were stumbling their way down the street. One ov them caught sight ov Zeus ambling across the road and remarked, ‘Dude, look — it’s, like, a mini-cow!’ O, how we chuckled