‘Wino Forever’

typed for your pleasure on 13 August 2005, at 5.16 pm

Sdtrk: ‘The Dignity of Labour, Part II’ by the Human league

I’ve been a fan of Winona Ryder ever since I saw her in ‘Beetlejuice’ — actually, a better way of phrasing that would be that I’ve been wracked with insatiable lust with Winona ever since seeing her in ‘Beetlejuice’ — and this sort of thing is always good to hear:

Winona Ryder, Sex Maniac

According to Female First, Winona Ryder has been dumped by her boyfriend Jay Kay (or Jay Gay, as Dave says) of Jamiroquai, because of her insatiable appetite for sex.

Yeah. That’s just the worst problem in the world. Your superhot, megafamous girlfriend wants to have sex all the time. Boo hoo. Putz.

Jamiroquai frontman Jay Kay says sexy Winona Ryder wore him out with her non “stop demands for sex”.

He confessed: “She has these enormous breasts – bigger than they look on film.

“She did have this habit of constantly wanting to play hide the sausage. It was exhausting.”.

Jay Kay is right about one thing, though. Winona Ryder’s breasts are spectacular.

It is a bit disheartening to learn that she’s willing to date a boring tosser such as Jamiroquai, but then again, if her standards are that low, she’d be pleasantly surprised with me.

Does anyone have Nonie’s phone number on hand? The ones that I’ve been given don’t seem to work. Or, at the very least, can someone craft a silicone Winona-skin for one of the Actroids, and ship her to me?

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

Put some clothes on, sir; I can see you digesting on June 4th, 2006

Why yes, I am in a bit of a writing slump! on November 24th, 2008

5 have spoken to “‘Wino Forever’”

  1. SafeTinspector writes:

    I have it on good authority that she is well aware of your interest.

  2. PBShelley writes:

    I love Winona! I’ve adored her ever since Beetlejuice, and I owe her a debt of thanks for turning me onto Wilco (and thus Uncle Tupelo and Son Volt). I still have an old S.F. Chronicle weekly mag with her on the cover… she is so cute/hot! (What a combo!
    I thought I saw her once in S.F.’s Pacific Heights district shopping with a gal pal. I’d love to play with her 😀
    I stand in admiration of your extreme good taste 🙂
    That Jamiwhatever guy is a dolt LOL… Let me know if you’d like to share
    And everyone knows that she’s the star of “Girl, Interrupted,” and not that Angelina Jonesy character 😛
    Although… If Nonie’s too busy for me… Hm… how far is Cambodia? :-/

    PBS & Lily

  3. Davecat writes:

    The top three contenders in my Organik Pantheon of Hotties would have to be Winona, Edie Sedgwick, and Twiggy (circa the 60s, of course). But it’s kinda odd, as Edie and Twiggy look rather similar — short blonde bob, 95lbs soaking wet, so I don’t know how that works.

    Also, there was this crap horror film I saw a long time ago called ‘Mirror mirror’, and the lead actress was this Nonie-clone named Rainbow Harvest. Despite the hippie name, she was Magickally Delicious..

    Also, Winnie gets mega-points for playing a Gynoid in Alien3. She dinna look her best, and the film was shite, but that was a dream come true right there, I’m tellin’ ya. 😉

  4. Laura writes:

    What is it with guys and Winona?
    Daniel’s got a thing for her too.

  5. Davecat writes:

    Well, she just happens to be a walking, talking, sex firecracker. In fact, if I’ve done my calculations correctly, I daresay she is a SEXPLOSION!!

    It’s true!

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