At least they didn’t kidnap Barbie

typed for your pleasure on 1 February 2005, at 6.27 pm

American news sources are going out of their way to prove themselves to be reactionary idiots these days, but at least they’re passing the savings onto us.

Web Site Claims GI Captured in Iraq

Feb 1, 3:03 PM (ET)
By ROBERT H. REID

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) – Iraqi militants claimed in a Web statement Tuesday to have taken an American soldier hostage and threatened to behead him in 72 hours unless the Americans release Iraqi prisoners. The U.S. military said it was investigating, but the claim’s authenticity could not be immediately confirmed.

The posting, on a Web site that frequently carried militants’ statements, included a photo of what that statement said was an American soldier, wearing desert fatigues and seated on a concrete floor with his hands tied behind his back. The figure in the photo appeared stiff and expressionless, and the photo’s authenticity could not be confirmed.

A gun barrel was pointed at his head, and behind him on the wall is a black banner emblazoned with the Islamic profession of faith, “There is no god but God and Muhammad is His prophet.”

A U.S. military spokesman in Baghdad, Marine Sgt. Salju K. Thomas, said he had no information on the claim but “we are currently looking into it.”

Take a good look at that soldier there, the one with the ‘stiff and expressionless’ face. Take a good look. Now, have a look at this.

Now go have a look at that linked article before it’s pulled from the Internet.
My christ. When you’re letting stuff like this slip through your verification nets, why even bother with retaining a verification staff? Why not just change your name from Associated Press to The Onion and be done with it?
*singing* Someone’s gonna get fiiired..

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These things, these recent things

typed for your pleasure on 1 February 2005, at 4.50 am

Sdtrk: ‘The drowning man’ by The cure

After being harangued by a certain someone I know, due to the fact that I’m not writing as regular as I should be*, hier ist das post!

Yesterday I went out into the world to run a couple of errands. I began my day travelling south, toward downtown Detriot — well, past it actually; down Jefferson, and past Belle isle — as I’m attempting to get a student loan thru the Michigan Job Works people, and I was advised to speak to the people at the Conner branch. I was told that I’d have to bring my letter from the unemployment agency, stating my eligibility for getting dole cheques, but I apparently needed a copy of my resume via the Michigan Job Works Talent bank. It’s great; when you go on the dole, you have to register thru the Talent bank, and you get to create this rather basic & slapdash resume. It’s like a Fisher-Price resume, as it doesn’t go into great detail at all. So the lady that I spoke with said that all I had to do was go downstairs to their Talent bank offices, and print up a copy. Simple pimple.

Making a beeline for the office, the first thing I saw inside was a queue at the front desk about eight to ten people in length, waiting to sign in and be assigned a terminal. Apparently, you couldn’t just walk in, sit down, and go about your business; you had to basically be led by the hand over to a computer. I looked around for a couple of seconds, then headed straight for the first open computer, sat down, and logged in. Pulling up my resume & printing the bastard took all of two minutes; it would’ve taken about half that time, were the servers not slow as shite. Having pulled off that little circumvention, I headed back upstairs and left my ‘resume’ with the woman I’d spoken with. With any luck, I’ll hear from someone in a couple of weeks..

After buying a Dr pepper, I rocketed north up I-75 to my old job locale, Quest diagnostics, as one of my friends who still works there told me on Sat that they were hiring in the client service department. Normally, the thought of working aImost any other position at Quest diagnostrilsticks would be a severe non-option, as I’d already done my three-year tour of duty there, working as a specimen processor Monday through Friday (and one Saturday a month) from 8pm to 5am. The positions open, however, don’t require me to wear rubber gloves and handle other people’s bodily fluids; this was paper-pushing & phone answering. After gabbing a bit with a mate of mine working the Human resources desk, he gave me the applications, and followed that up with a five-minute typing test (three mistakes, 1% error ratio). My only problem is is that the client service gig goes from 9am to 5.30, which would be perfect if it was 9am to 5pm instead, as my class is at 6pm, and I’d have to fight rush-hour traffic for roughly ten miles down southbound 75. Hrm. We’ll see. With any luck, I’ll hear from someone in a couple of weeks..

Heading up — well, down — the motorway, going home, I stopped round to the Troy BestBuy, to see if they had vol.2 of Giant robo in stock, as I’d been there twice since late December, without knowing that the release date had been secretly pushed back, in some sort of twisted experiment to see how long it would take before I finally snapped, whereupon BestBuy would be littered with the disemboweled corpses of its blue-shirted drones, and not even the lure of the new Lindsey Lohan Cd being on sale would bring shoppers there any longer, due to the hauntings and the overpowering smell of carrion. But not today! Today, I got to sheathe my lucky machete, cos they had copies of one of the greatest anime serials ever made — and it was only $9.99! On top of that, I was finally able to use that $15 gift certificate, so I didn’t spend any money there at all! Rock on!

And also noteworthy: Friday eve, I was pleased to actually meet a fellow RealDoll owner in the flesh, as we both live literally a couple of miles away from each other. What are the odds? Phoebe‘s lucky lad mahtek & I had a cuppa over at a nearby Coffee Beanery for a couple of hours, trading tips, discussing the Synthetik mistresses that run our lives, and blabbing about other non-Doll-related topics as well. He seems like a nice fella; wouldn’t hear a word against him. 🙂 Always good to meet other like-minded individuals..

So there you have it! Up next on the list (what list?)
+ a bit or two about my current school experiences
+ and a hundred or so things about me.

*thanx for lighting a fire under my arse — again🙂

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A new post, in quotes

typed for your pleasure on 30 January 2005, at 6.23 am

Why was I not told about this?? This looks better than Charlie and the Chocolate factory, which already looks good as it is. I’m excited. Are you excited?

Okay, so I’ve not posted in a while. I have to remedy that. Maybe tomorrow I’ll provide some sort of ersatz update as to my life & recent livelihood, but since there really hasn’t been a whole hell of a lot going on with me lately, I’ve no idea what I’ll be writing. Hrm.
As for right now, it’s like four hours past my ‘bedtime’, so I’m off

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I’ve done too much hand-coding for my liking today

typed for your pleasure on 24 January 2005, at 10.27 pm

For those of you into that sort of thing, ‘Kitten with a Whip!‘ will be updated tomorrow (25 Jan). Which, technically, will be in a couple of hours. Unless you’re in Japan; in which case we’re late. Gomen nasai!

We would’ve updated on the 23rd, as per ‘usual’, but being a mercenary and routing the ever-present threat of North Korea whilst making a bit of change on the side isn’t all rootbeer & skittles, y’know

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mein letzter Freitag / Another Space-age Bachelor Pad

typed for your pleasure on 20 January 2005, at 3.13 am

This Friday past, I finally watched the last two episodes of Zeta Gundam. Damn, that show is fucking fantastic and grim, all at the same time. It’s beautiful.
Now, I’m the kind of bloke who has been happier with the anime industry standard that was more or less established during the mid-90s, where television series lasted for twenty-six episodes, as opposed to fifty-two, in order to drive the story along better due to there being less ‘filler’ episodes. (Also, I gather a largely significant reason for the shorter runs was due to a lot of studios not being able to afford long, drawn-out shows.) Zeta was made back in 1986, before the shorter series trend kicked in, and therefore runs 50 episodes. My worry with the series was that there were going to be a lot of throwaway epiodes that could’ve easily been omitted. I can think of maybe two off the top of my head; the rest of the series jets along at a rapid and suspenseful rate — ‘mostly killer, little filler’ if you will. And, as I’d known all these years between perusing the episode guides in Animag and actually watching the series a decade later, that yes, the ending of Zeta Gundam is even more messed up than I knew it to be. The Stark Fist of Tomino spares no-one.
Now, if you’re curious about seeing the series, but aren’t a rabid Zeta Gundam fanboy where you’d want to fork out $120+ for the box set, you can just wait a couple of years, as Bandai/Sunrise studios are doing what they did with the original Gundam series, and condensing 50 episodes into three feature-length films, with the first one premiering in March..

Also, Shi-chan & I cranked out another photo shoot! Can we be stopped??

Well, apparently yes, it turns out we can be stopped. We wrapped it up after only 80 photos, cos with both the room radiator & the lights cooking us like an EZ-Bake Oven, it was far too hot to continue. (Plus, if Shi-chan learned to move herself, that would help tremendously…) We might pick up again with the same clothes at a later date, but I still need to get the pics from the previous shoot ready for posting. Deadlines? What the hell are those??

Aaand here’s another stylishly retro-futuristic home for your approval: the famous Monsanto House of the Future, featured in Disneyland’s Tomorrowland from 1957 to 1967.


pic shamelessly stolen from Yesterland

Welcome to Monsanto Plastics Home of the Future! As you entered this experimental model home, perhaps you noticed that the house itself is constructed entirely of plastics. Despite the graceful lightweight appearance of the suspended wings of this house, each one is able to support more than 13 tons!

The floors on which you are walking, the gently sloping walls around you, and even the ceilings are made of plastics. Furnishings and equipment, as well as the house itself, are almost one-hundred percent manmade. Hardly a natural material appears in anything like its original state anywhere in the building.

*vibrates with joy*
The only thing I can think of off the top of my head to improve this modern masterpiece, would be wall-to-wall carpeting, as I don’t really like bare floors. And, err, cable jacks in every room. Those are just off the top of my head. But yes! The fecking Monsanto House! I really regret that I never got the chance to see it, and I think they should rebuild it elsewhere, for posterity’s sake. I mean, something like that is as significant to architectural history as something built in the 1700s, or anything involving a Corinthian column. And if you ask me, since 20th century Modern architecture & design combines both Form and Function, it’s much more impressive

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Third place is — you’re fired

typed for your pleasure on 14 January 2005, at 2.58 pm

this one stolen from Monti, cos it looked like fun.

Movie quote Quiz! The rules are simple. I’ve picked ten of my favourite fillums, and I’ve written down a quote from each one. All you have to is guess what movie each quote is from! What could be easier??
Well, a lot of things, actually. My film choices run towards the obscure, for the most part, but I’ve at least kept the choices to English-language films, so be thankful. Ready GO!

1) ‘John got beaten up by fascists’
2) ‘How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip-oil?’
3) ‘What’s yer name? MacFuck?’
4) ‘Claire.. that’s a fat girl’s name’
5) ‘I asked for a car, I got a computer. How’s that for being born under a bad sign?’
6) ‘One man can change the world with a bullet in the right place’
7) ‘Hello, pretty pretty pretty’
8 ) ‘Oh aye, for all the good they’ve done me I might as well have stuck ’em up my arse!’
9) ‘STOP POINTING THAT GUN AT MY DAD!!’
10) ‘You can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick’

Post your answers in the Comments section, and no cheating, now! Cheaters will be eaten by timberwolves

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I’m gonna need a bigger backpack

typed for your pleasure on 10 January 2005, at 10.23 pm

It seems that IREM is making a sequel to Zettai zetsumei toshi, known in the States as Disaster report. That certainly came out of nowhere! Disaster report is another one of those niche games for the PS2 that I love so desperately, cos apparently in all things, I must be obscure. Anyway, I’d write more about it, but instead, I’m simply going to Copy and Paste a review I wrote for Mike’s vulne pro Forum, back when we knew nothing about the game, and had no clue that it would be released domestically. *copies, pastes*

Topic: Zettai zetsumei toshi. Horrifying, yet strangely compelling
Posted: 4/29/2002 02:53

On Sun Derek clued us into a new game coming out for the PS2 in Japan entitled ‘Zettai zetsumei toshi’, by IREM, the phantastik company that brought the world R-type. I was like, ‘Holy crap, IREM is still around??’ Well, they are, and their latest offering is truly something to behold, and will probably never see the light ov day in the States.

ZZT’s premise starts out relatively simply. It takes place in 2005, on a manmade island off the coast ov mainland Japan. The story starts just after an earthquake tears the island to pieces. You are a reporter who, in a nutshell, has to look for anyone who is still alive & needs help, while trying to find a way to get the living hell off the island. Did I mention the island is still very much in the process ov falling apart? Take a look at the promotional video (sorry, that link is long dead), or check out the official site.

The thing that really strikes me the most about this game is that it really seems to convey a sense ov ‘everything everywhere is fucked forever’. The video alone is aktually pretty scary to watch, in some respekts. It’s one thing to have zombies or monsters or whatnot chasing after you, but it’s another thing entirely when the very ground that you’re standing on – something not normally known to shake & jump around (at least not for us Michiganders) – starts doing the hokey pokey beneath you; and when something like that happens, there’s really no place you can go to escape. My impression ov the fakt that this game comes out ov Japan, the very land where people have to deal with potential situations like that at least once in their lifetimes, leaves me feeling rather odd. That’s as if a games manufakturer in Pompeii were to create a game about trying to leave a town that’s situated at the base ov an erupting volcano. I suppose you could see ZZT as a training for any future natural disasters, but it still makes me feel weird.

Having said that, if ZZT ever made it Stateside, I would pick it up almost immediately. It has an entirely compelling story, and much like Shenmue, exploring in the game brings across a sense ov being in Japan. Only falling apart and on fire. And the graphik design ov the box itself is very ace/ominous. Will it show up in our chain stores? I doubt it, as the game is very, very Japanese. But then, I’d said that about Shenmue.. personally, I’m not holding my breath. (I’m just waiting for the PS2 mods to come out that’ll let me play it!)

Zettai zetsumei toshi. Know it, learn it, live it.

And now there’s a sequel! Nothing’s been heard about any Stateside distributors, so we’re all kinda holding our collective breath, here. Regarding Disaster report; the bad news is that it’s somewhat difficult to find stores that still stock copies. The good news is whenever I’ve seen it, it’s been $20 or less. And if you can’t procure a copy, you can always see what Tycho & Gabe of Penny Arcade said about it, which was pretty apt.

It’s a fine game. A creepy game, but a fine game

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