A story in six words? Madness

typed for your pleasure on 27 October 2006, at 2.56 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Watch that man’ by David Bowie

Anyone can write a story. Not everyone can write a good story, though. And not every one of those everyones can write a good story using only six words. Calling these writers ‘adept’ is being far too verbose, so I’ll just call them ‘a’.
I’m reminded of the Shakespeare quote ‘Brevity is the soul of wit’, and the faster, better version, ‘Brevity is wit.’
(Airlifted from Penda’s Diner)

Very Short Stories
wired.com | Issue 14.11 – November 2006

We’ll be brief: Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words (“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”) and is said to have called it his best work. So we asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves.

Dozens of our favorite auteurs put their words to paper, and five master graphic designers took them to the drawing board. Sure, Arthur C. Clarke refused to trim his (“God said, ‘Cancel Program GENESIS.’ The universe ceased to exist.”), but the rest are concise masterpieces. (edited for space)

Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
– Eileen Gunn

Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love.
– David Brin

Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
– Joss Whedon

Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
– Alan Moore

Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.
– Vernor Vinge

It cost too much, staying human.
– Bruce Sterling

We kissed. She melted. Mop please!
– James Patrick Kelly

It’s behind you! Hurry before it
– Rockne S. O’Bannon

I came up with a handful whilst at work today; most of them were shite. I found that a number of what I’d written were almost epigrams; one was ‘The Rolling Stones — still alive. Why?’ — that’s not a story. Funny yes, but not a story. It’s almost harder than haiku!

+ Falling, he regretted nothing. Except breakfast.

+ Angry bears with hatchets; hilarity ensues.

+ A singularity? That’s impossible! OH SHI–

+ The cats knew, and fled first.

+ Anneke’s exposed mechanisms gave her away.

+ The Liston knife — Jack’s favourite tool.

+ In battle: ‘I forgot my pistol?!’

+ ‘You’re my Doppelgänger?’ ‘Yes, now die.’

and my personal fave:

+ This sandwich tastes funny. Like… flesh?

If any brave souls care to try their hand, go for it and leave your results in the comments. Mindbending but fun!

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Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat? (Oct 2006)

typed for your pleasure on 26 October 2006, at 3.02 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Spring hall convert’ by Deerhunter

Considering eight out of the past ten posts for October were Synthetiks-related, giving this post that title was completely arbitrary. Sometimes that happens! I cannot explain it.

Anyway, big round of applause for China, as they’ve just joined the Synthetiks Race in earnest. It’s like the Arms Race, only much better for humanity. Sexier, too.


heh heh, ‘Maiden China’.
Sorry, there was no call for that

Chinese Blond Female Humanoid Robot unveiled

China displayed their robots at a robot show in early October. One of the biggest highlights of the show were the highly human-like robots.

However it is yet a little bit too early to dub these human copies as robots since their actions and abilities are way too limited. For instance, the female humanoid above only sings and moves her lips a little (that too in a highly robotic manner).

The Chinese robot, nicknamed ‘Dion’ does score a point above the Japanese Actroid female robot with respect to the body precisions and stats (though I do wish they’d given her better tresses), but I yet do find the latter cuter and more convincing than the Chinese one.
the rest of the article is here. CAUTION: POP-UP FEST ’99

I’d actually spotted this gorgeous creature last night on Robot Watch, but there wasn’t a tremendous amount of info on her. More accurately, there probably was a paragraph describing her somewhere, but since I can read only about five to eight per cent of the Japanese language on a good day, I was kinda at sea… However, I did find a brief video of her; remind me, and I’ll post it next month.

I’m figuring the robotics community of China came to the realisation that Rong Cheng, nice as she is, can’t hold a candle to Japan’s Favourite Daughter in terms of sophistication; hence Dion. She certainly looks tasty — in the video, she’s wearing sandals, which of course brought a huge pervy smile to my face — but her facial and body movement are a little stilted. They’re still working on the R&D, I’m sure.
Whoever this group is, they clearly need more funding! We need China to produce more Synthetiks like Dion, and less like.. *cough* Chuka-cannon.

I’d agree with the article writer though — she could stand to have a better hairstyle. But y’know who she slightly resembles? 4woods’ Chris-type of the A.I.NEO Doll series.

Tell me I’m wrong

Technorati tags: Dion, Gynoid, Android, robot, Actroid, Rong Cheng, China, 4woods, A.I.NEO

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snap snap, click click

typed for your pleasure on 23 October 2006, at 10.58 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Large number’ by Add N to (X)

As I have another potential interview looming nigh concerning ma vie avec Sidore-chan — I know, it’s crazy — she and I did a photo shoot last Sunday, with not a little success, we’d say. It’s like we’re down to a yearly schedule for our shoots now! Man, we’re layabouts.

Now I’ve got to sort the wheat from the chaff with what’s left, and send some of them to my interviewer. I don’t want to reveal who it is just yet, as things are still being solidified, but rest assured, it’s someone quite ace. Well, we think they’re ace. It’s True!

Also, I’ve updated that YouTube page of mine, as it’s the 23rd, y’know. SafeT, you might want to give those clips a look, as per your rabid demands..

Hallo Sweden, and Happy 23rd!

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This is why we can’t have nice things

typed for your pleasure on 21 October 2006, at 1.02 am

Sdtrk: ‘Bob e Helen’ by Piero Umiliani

Back during the Nineties, I used to pay bi-monthly visits to a place in downtown Detroit called Mario’s Mannequins, which was a seller/refurbisher that had been around since the Twenties. I’d walk through the retail area on the ground floor, and take the lift to the third floor where the showroom was, and spend a couple of hours taking photos with my film camera, soaking up the peaceful ambience of being alone in a room filled with beautiful Mannequins. I did that for a couple of years, until Mario closed his shop shortly before the Nineties ended. Despite the ever-present smell of paint, it was a fine place.

For the record, although I’m less than two miles away from Ferndale, this bloke isn’t actually me, as I’m so over Mannequins now. Well, in my own fashion.

Man With Mannequin Fetish Arrested Again

FERNDALE, Mich. (AP) — A Detroit man with a history of smashing store windows to grab female mannequins has been accused of indulging his fetish again. Ronald A. Dotson, 39, was arrested and jailed Oct. 9 after breaking a window at a cleaning-supply company to get at a mannequin in a black and white French maid’s uniform, police said.

A judge Thursday ordered him to undergo a psychiatric examination to determine whether he is competent to stand trial on charges of attempted breaking and entering.

“Mr. Dotson went to prison and they haven’t helped him,” said his lawyer, Edward Cohn. “He got out of prison and he was right back out there. It’s pretty bizarre.”

Dotson had been out of prison for less than a week when he was caught. His erotic pursuit of mannequins over the past 13 years has led to at least six convictions for breaking and entering and a stint in prison, police said.

“He told his parole officer he was going to buy a mannequin so he didn’t have to do these break-ins anymore,” said Detective Brendan Moore said. “Apparently that didn’t work out.”

Arrested a second time, sir? Did it never occur to you to check eBay, sir? *shaking head*
Christ, what a knob end

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ATTN: SVEEDEN

typed for your pleasure on 19 October 2006, at 2.42 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Vier Personen’ by Laibach

Those Swedes work awfully fast! With the swiftness of a typical afternoon session spent assembling a piece of furniture purchased from IKEA, Sofia, the ‘research praktik’ of the programme ‘Outsiders’ has Emailed me, saying they’ve finished their editing, and the episode featuring Sidore, Monti and I will be aired next Monday the 23rd! That means that *peering at site stats* about 1% of the readers of ‘Shouting etc etc’ will catch it. Hrm.
Nevertheless, I’ll be sure to let ABBA, the Hives, Ingmar Bergman, Max von Sydow, and Anita Ekberg know, as I’m sure they’ll be glad of the heads-up. O, and August Strindberg, of course

Technorati tags: Davecat, Sidore, MontiLee, RealDoll, iDollator, Abyss Creations, Titan Television

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And EveR-2 Muse makes two

typed for your pleasure on 18 October 2006, at 3.01 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Degradation of tapes’ by Merzbow

Whilst scanning my Technorati faves today, I ran across something on a random Japanese site — KiTECH of Korea’s EveR-2 Muse is finally making the scene. In making a couple of enquiries on das InfoBahn, here’s what I came up with:


Looking a lot better than the previous model, I’d say

Korea’s Second Humanoid Robot to Sing for Fans

The world’s first celebrity robot Ever-2 Muse will soon make “her” public debut. Ever-2 will perform a new ballad titled “I’ll close my eyes” at the opening ceremony of Robot World 2006 at COEX on Wednesday, the Ministry of Commerce, Industry and Energy said. The robot can be thought of as the little sister of Ever-1, which debuted on May 4 as the first domestic humanoid robot. Ever-2’s skin is produced with silicon. It has some 60 motors in the face (23), neck (three), arms (six each), hands (four each) and lower body (12), allowing a wide range of actions and expressions.

The robot can express 13 consonants and vowels and can not only lip-synch but can dance to music and hold “conversations” with fans. Since it senses colors and movement, it can respond based on the reactions of those nearby. Baeg Moon-hong, a senior researcher at the Korea Institute of Industrial Technology, says Ever-1 with 35 motors was able to express the four emotions of happiness, sadness, excitement and anger, but Ever-2 can express eight, adding fright, discomfort, interest and boredom. Ever-2 is 165 cm-tall, 5 cm taller than its predecessor, and at 60 kg weighs 10 kg more.

Rock the hell on, Korea! This almost makes up for that whole nuke thing.
Surprisingly, Robot Watch doesn’t have anything on her yet, but I’m sure more info about her will be forthcoming. Watch this space!

Technorati tags: EveR-1, EveR-2 Muse, Gynoid

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Crushed / Consumed

typed for your pleasure on 18 October 2006, at 12.21 am

Sdtrk: ‘Eyes of a dreamer’ by Charles Manson

RE. the latest Overcompensating.com: I have to say that I cannot disagree with Jeffery Rowland’s reasoning.

Also, from the gaping maw of a coworker earlier today:

‘I had an omelette that was just too big yesterday.’

Who says things like that? Plus, the bloke who said it was a giant chunky bastard, which leaves me to wonder — what constitutes ‘just too big’ for him? An omelette four feet in diameter, perhaps? The mind boggles..

More updates at a later date. Right now I’m in the midst of a flurry of Emails, and I’ve just downloaded the first three episodes of ‘Dexter’, which I hear is rather interesting

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