Sdtrk: ‘Do it! (live)’ by Death from above 1979

Noteworthy: it appears that the staffers at 4woods have announced the release of ‘Natural’ skintones for their Natsuki, Yu-ki, Kunika Reloaded and Sleeping Kunika models. I dunno; the previous versions looked pretty natural to me! In an unnatural way, naturally.
Not only that, but they now offer ‘nail chips’ for their lasses, which is just an awkward way of saying that you can now order your potential A.I.Doll with fake nails.

Combining two wonderful things. Well, three, if you’re observant

I miss the days when Abyss Creations made their RealDolls with hard nails. Everyone but me seemed to think they were a bad idea! I just thought they were easier to paint, for one…

In other news, Ms Banina tipped me off to this article: Is Having Sex with a Robot Hooker Cheating?

It’s not cheating: A robot hooker is just a machine, so having sex with one is like using a vibrator for women. Purchasing a little robot companionship is perfect because there’s no chance of STDs or emotional attachments. My girlfriend should be happy I’m just down at the robot brothel instead of hooking up with flesh-and-blood women at the bar.

It is cheating: With advanced technology, having sex with a robot hooker is too much like really cheating. For all intents and purposes, you’re having sex with another woman. Plus, what if you want to buy your own robot hooker and keep her in the closet at home? It’s a thin line between robot hooker and robot girlfriend.

Readers who have been paying attention should be able to suss what side of the fence I stand on this issue, but in case you’ve not been previously scarred by reading this blog, I’d say that yes, it would be cheating. Part of the reason that I constantly make reference to ‘Synthetiks’ is that I believe that when we have Androids and Gynoids that are advanced enough to be integrated in society, we should make a distinction between them and us Organiks, but one that still recognises them as people. I mean, you could also look at it this way — both Organiks and Synthetiks are machines; we’re just meat-based machines. I don’t romanticise in that aspect.
But yeah, I’d go with cheating, as I would view a Synthetik as a person, and not as an appliance or a toy, especially due to their humanoid appearance. Should the whole concept of robot escorts and prossies start up — which I’m sure it will — there will be people that employ their services that might possibly fall in love with them, and I’m referring to individuals that weren’t previously attracted to Synthetiks. And the more complex the AI becomes for artificial humans, the lines between ‘us’ and ‘them’ will get blurrier and blurrier. Apart from the whole meat thing, that is.

Also of note, this past Sunday I had a lengthy interview with the admin of His Little Slut, detailing my life with Sidore-chan — be ye warned, it veers into TMI-territory at times — but you can look at it right here. You’d think I would’ve kept my rambling down to a minimum! *shakes head ‘no’*

And it must be July. Like I said, you don’t need a calendar any more!

Clearly beats Abbie Hoffman’s take on wearing the flag

Thanks, Phoenix Studios, for providing me with at least one Doll-related thing to write about per month!

And finally, I can’t imagine why I find this recent instalment of Diesel Sweeties as high-larious as I do! R. Stevens, you so crazy

Technorati tags: 4woods, A.I.Dolls, Abyss creations, RealDolls, robots, Androids, Gynoids, Phoenix Studios, Boy Toy Dolls, Diesel Sweeties

Sdtrk: ‘Empire state human’ by the Human League

As no-one tells me anything anymore, I learned that BBC America aired Nick Holt’s ‘Guys and Dolls‘ yet again a week or so ago. That particular documentary is like the equivalent of Soft cell’s Tainted love for Sidore and I, or perhaps like Blue Monday by New order — it’s the vehicle that’s brought us to the most peoples’ attention, as most don’t know we’ve done other interviews previously. But I have to say, when we get round to putting in another appearance on telly or film, if nothing else, we can show that we’ve not been living at my parents since last year. Man.
So guess which media juggernaut contacted me recently?

from: Donnelly, Christine
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail [dot] com
date: Mon, Apr 21, 2008 at 4:17 PM
subject: Interview Request – from Alan Colmes

Hi Davecat,

I’m with Alan Colmes’ national radio show.

Last night, I happened to see the BBC America documentary featuring you and Sidore.

We’d love to have you on the show. Both Alan and our audience find this topic very interesting; we had David Levy on the show a few months ago.

What about a phone interview at midnight on Thursday night? Well, technically, that’s Friday, but you know what I mean, right?

It’d be about 20 minutes or so.

If so, at what landline (and backup – like a cell) can you be reached?

Look forward to hearing from you and hope we can arrange.

Best,
Christine

Christine Donnelly
Booker, The Alan Colmes Show

Durr — what? Colmes, of the FAUX News pseudo-pundits Colmes and Hannity? What??
I’d mentioned this invite to New Internet Bestest Friend Forevar, the lovely Gina Banina, during an IM conversation, and she thought it was pretty ace. At that point, I’d asked her if Colmes wasn’t a berserk frothing neo-con, and she replied she didn’t know. I don’t keep up with politics, and I’d only heard tell of Colmes’ and Hannity’s television programme: one representing the left wing agenda, the other plumping for right-wingers, dancing round each other for an hour in an enclosed ring and slicing at the other with homemade prison shanks, their left wrists bound together with a length of rough twine. I hadn’t a clue as to which one was which; however, a quick spin on the Wikipedia wheel set us straight — Colmes was the liberal one. With that news, I began to think that perhaps 20 minutes over the phone wouldn’t be altogether bad… after all, David Levy was once a guest…
I was beginning to consider saying yes, when a crucial factor came to my attention. So I wrote Christine back:

from: Dave Kuroneko
to: “Donnelly, Christine”
date: Tue, Apr 22, 2008 at 6:01 PM

Hello there –
Thanks for posing an enquiry, however, I’m afraid I’ll have to respectfully decline. Basically, I work a staggered shift, which has me getting off at midnight Wednesday through Friday, so I probably won’t be able to do the phone interview. Thanks very much for the opportunity, though!

Cheers,
Davecat, with valued assistance from Sidore

That’s that affair put to bed, right? Wrong. She wrote back almost immediately — literally, like almost half an hour later:

from: Donnelly, Christine
to: Dave Kuroneko
date: Tue, Apr 22, 2008 at 6:25 PM

Dave,

Thanks so much for replying.

Not trying to be a pain here but…we would love to have you on the show! If 12:30am on Thursday (after you get out of work) would work, that’d be great. Or midnight next Monday or Tuesday?

Best,

Christine

One half of my mind’s going ‘well, what’s the harm in it?’ and the other half is shouting ‘your segments in “Guys and Dolls” were misrepresented on Jay Leno and Talk Soup, for fuck’s sake’. Sometimes, bad press is better than no press at all, but that’s only sometimes. With a subject such as being an iDollator, caution when dealing with the media is extremely important. Plus, all told, FAUX News equals high-RPM spin doctoring in my mind.
So days later — which I kinda feel guilty about, as leaving any booking agent hanging is pretty unprofessional — I finally responded:

from: Dave Kuroneko
to: “Donnelly, Christine”
date: Wed, Apr 30, 2008 at 1:17 PM

Hey Christine –

Sorry it’s taken so long to get back to you; both my work and my personal life have been in a state of flux over the past few days…

Unfortunately, I think I’ll have to respectfully decline your invite to be on Alan Colmes chat show. To be completely honest, I’m rather distrustful of the way that media, American media in particular, has a habit of spinning topics to serve their own ends, especially in the instance of something as ‘out there’ as being an iDollator. I wanted to have a listen to the interview you say he’d conducted with David Levy, to see how that went, but I was unable to locate it. Besides, the past couple of days at work have been rubbish, and I’m sure that would inadvertently affect my demeanour and circumspection on-air. I’m sure you understand.

Once again, sorry for the delay, and thanks for the opportunity!

Cheers,
Davecat

And that seems to have done it. Sigh.
It’s crazy: the venues that I’d want to be interviewed by don’t seem to have any interest in the topic, and the venues I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole are all over me! This, then, is Irony

EDIT (03 May): So I went ahead and made a ‘Circus Minimus’ category, cos this sort of thing is happening more often than I would’ve ever thought possible. Who knew?

Technorati tags: Guys and Dolls, Nick Holt, Alan Colmes, RealDolls, iDollators, David Levy

Sdtrk: ‘Les mains dans les poches’ by Les Roche Martin

Back in the spotlight! Yesterday, I spent a pleasant 40 minutes on the phone with Josephine Tovey, who was writing up an article about RealDolls for the Sydney Morning Herald, mostly due to the fact that Australia (and the UK) will finally be screening ‘Lars and the Real Girl‘ in the next couple of weeks. She wanted the views and opinions of an iDollator, in regards to the film and being a Doll husband and things of that nature. So she asked me, for reasons I cannot fathom. I know nothing of these ‘Dolls’! My silicone-based wife was shipped strapped securely into a wooden crate, after sixteen weeks of painstaking sculpture and assembly, just like anyone else’s.
It should be on their website as well as in print, but Josephine said it should be hitting the stands on 5 April. Now, I’m aware that that’s the same day the new series of Doctor Who starts up, but don’t let that distract you; you can always TiVo it.

Also, 4woods comes through again! They have a new model — well, a new head, really — due out very soon; a charming NEO-J-type named Ally.

Ally v. Ally IN THE STEEL CAGE MATCH OF THE CENTURY

She looks a bit like Neu, but even more elfin, if that’s even physically possible. You can get her in either ‘Natural’ or ‘Asian’ skintones (as seen above), and much like the Neu-types, you can swap out the pointy ears for regular ones. Rather nice!

So there you have it. New interview, new A.I.Doll. Two things for everyone to look forward to

Sdtrk: ‘He is everywhere nowhere’ by Current93

JUST SO YOU KNOW: Quite a few people — perhaps even you — have been wanting to post a comment, and finding that either the comments have been turned off, or the reply function is simply no longer there. Heh, you’ll love this: lately, ‘Shouting etc etc’ has been getting hit by some bizarre virus that does two things — it not only deactivates the ability for people to post comments or make pings for some posts, but it also throws a shitload of spam links into the bottom of each post. Now this is going to sound like the ravings of a lunatic, but the links are coded so that they’re invisible. No, seriously. If you view these infected posts via a cellphone browser (like I did), you’ll see lines and lines of spam links. It’s the strangest damn thing.
Originally, I thought it was due to the Technorati tags I was using, as the first time this occurred, it was in February’s ‘Any Doll-related news etc’ post, so I got rid of the tags, but the comments would still shut off and those spam links would come back.

What it boils down to is that I undoubtedly need to upgrade WordPress, which I intend on doing soon, otherwise the homicides will begin. In the interim, if you don’t see the reply function for a post, seriously — reply in another post, and I’ll just transfer the bastard to where it’s supposed to be.
We here at Deafening silence Plus thank you for your patience and patronage! No, seriously.

So recently I dreamt that Shi-chan and I were driving round the suburbs — it looked a bit like the Grosse pointe area, but you know how it is with dreams mutating things that actually exist in your mind into totally new things — and some chunky bloke with a paper bag over his head stepped in front of our car at a stop sign, and handed me an index card. He then took his paper bag off, revealing his shaven-head and his broad smile, and stepped away as I drove off. Sidore read the card: there was a paragraph at the top, stating the message was from a college fraternity, and that they apparently liked our work. (??) They went on to explain that if we were to go to the URL provided below, we’d see some guy in Texas that looked exactly like me. ‘Huh,’ I remarked.

The dream then cut to footage of this bloke. The video quality was similar to that weird video black & white that you get with closed-circuit television, but a little sharper, and it even had a running timecode in the upper right corner. Unlike a CCTV camera, though, it wasn’t fixed in one position. It centred on this bloke that could’ve been my identical twin — his facial features were the exact same as mine, but his ponytail was around two feet long, and he was wearing a hoodie, which is something I’d never do. He was seated in the front row of a college classroom, a couple of columns toward the centre. At one point during the course of the footage, he pulled a toothbrush out of his bag, applied some toothpaste to it, and proceeded to brush his teeth right there in the middle of class. No-one seemed to notice, except the girl behind him, who tapped him on the shoulder and said something chastising. Or at least, I assume it was something chastising, as the video didn’t have sound. He stopped to listen to her, then kept on brushing.

Then the dream cut to Shi-chan and I watching the video (on YouTube, naturally). For some reason, the room we were in was dark, and the monitor illuminated our faces. ‘I don’t know what to make of that,’ Sidore commented.
Dopplegängers! Honestly, you just can’t get away from them…

Happy Vernal Equinox, people! I’m hoping for a short Summer, but a long Spring. And an even longer Autumn

Sdtrk: ‘Sadistic’ by Stereolab

We know a little workplace in the American Southwest, where alert reader Sena toils in the biotech department. She, like many other people, recently viewed ‘Guys and Dolls‘, found it eminently fascinating, and told her coworkers about it. However, instead of the typical torches-and-pitchforks reaction, according to her, Sidore and I are celebrities over there. Don’t believe me? Check out their whiteboards:

That blurry bit in the first pic is the department name, by the way. I particularly like the second pic though, as the artist managed to accurately capture our likenesses to a T. Someone’s done their research!

This post goes out to Sena, Jacob, and the diligent (?) employees at Corporate Workplace That I Obviously Can’t Name, Located in a Rather Large Southwestern State. Stop watching so many videos on das InfoBahn! Go read a book instead!

Sdtrk: ‘Here it goes again’ by OK go

I’ve said before, but it bears repeating: Sidore and I clearly need an agent. Cos then, we wouldn’t have wildly inappropriate enquiries such as this:

from: M*******
to: pulsedemon [at] gmail.com
date: Jan 15, 2008 3:07 PM
subject: The Tyra Banks Show

Dear DaveCat,

How are you? My name is M******* and I am a production assistant at the Tyra Banks Show. I recently came across the documentary you participated in about the hyper-realistic dolls. I wanted to speak with you about an upcoming show we are producing for early next week. We would love to hear your story. Please call me at (phone number) or please leave contact info where you can be reached so that we may contact you.

Thanks so much and we hope to hear from you soon,

M*******
—
M*******
Production Associate
The Tyra Banks Show

Yes, Tyra Banks. Even with the esteemed likes of Heraldo and (Not a) Doctor Phil attempting to woo me, occurences like this still continue to stun me. It’s funny-peculiar though, as I remember reading on TDF that there was supposed to be an episode of the Tyra Banks show that dealt with RealDolls, but this was almost half a year before anyone had ever read about ‘Lars and the Real Girl’. Maybe they’re just now getting round to it?
So I wrote back:

from: Dave Kuroneko
to: M*******
date: Jan 16, 2008 11:42 AM
subject: Re: The Tyra Banks Show

Hey M******* –

Thanks for your enquiry! However, I’m not entirely sure if The Tyra Banks Show is the right venue for lengthy, in-depth discussion of the merits of having a Synthetik companion. Plus, apart from lack of compensation, the travel expense, and the short notice, I don’t do too well with crowds, to be perfectly honest…
Thanks again for asking, though!

Cheers,
Davecat

Now, call me crazy, but I don’t honestly see Ms Banks’ staffers having done any deep research into iDollator history and culture. What probably happened is someone sent Tyra a link to ‘Guys and Dolls’; she stared at it in wide-eyed shock, and after recomposing herself, assigned some production associates such as M******* to scour the Series of Tubes, in order to find some of these doll freaks to base a programme around. ‘Make it happen, people,’ Tyra shouts, clapping her hands vigourously.
So M******* sez, she sez:

from: M*******
to: Dave Kuroneko
date: Jan 16, 2008 12:02 PM
subject: Re: The Tyra Banks Show

Davecat,

Thanks so much for getting back to me. We really found the footage of you highlighting your story to be very compelling. We are very interested in hearing where you are coming from and want to portray you in the way you want to be portrayed. The date of the show has actually changed to sometime later in the month. We do not have a concrete date yet, however we will be able to give you more notice since the date of the show has changed. As soon as we find this date out, we will be sure to let you know. We will definitely be able to compensate you, and if you would feel more comfortable having someone come with you to New York, we would be more than happy to make that happen. I would like to talk with you more in depth so you can understand where we are coming from. Is there a number where you can be reached? Also, you can reach me at anytime at (phone number). Thank you so much for your time and we really look forward to hearing from you and working with you.

Best,
M*******

Heh. ‘Compelling’. That’s an adjective I rank up there with ‘interesting’, in that it doesn’t necessarily mean good or bad. You can find a video of talking cats compelling. You can also find footage of a ten-car pile up in action compelling. Both events draw the eye, but just because it gets your attention doesn’t always mean it’s good.
My response? It was kinda funny, as I was falling gently asleep at work while on the phone with a boring client, and she (the client) asked me why I was so tired. I proceeded to mention that I was up until 2 am the previous night mainly writing Emails and hangin’ out with Gordon Freeman, and as my roll of explanation spun out more and more, it suddenly struck me that I hadn’t written M******* back regarding the show. That woke me up, by god. I started to freak out a bit, to be honest. Sure, there may be instances with offers of television appearances on shows I really don’t want anything to do with, but just because I’m not interested is no reason to be unprofessional and leave the person asking hanging. So as soon as my first break was done — and after a brief ‘power nap’ — I hastily Emailed the following reply back with my Treo:

from: Dave Kuroneko
to: M*******
date: Jan 21, 2008 1:28 PM
subject: Re: The Tyra Banks Show

Hey M******* –

Sorry for the delay; I spent most of my week-end away from my apartment. You know how it goes…

To be honest, I’m probably going to have to decline. I honestly don’t trust the media — in particular, television shows — that come out of the States, as a lot of them tend towards sensationalism. A couple of months ago, I turned down opportunities to speak about being an iDollator on both Geraldo and Dr Phil for the same reasons. I usually try to stick to either dedicated documentaries, or shows from other countries (‘Guys and Dolls’ was originally intended to be shown only on BBC), as they’re less likely to spin it into something that could be detrimental to both my life, and iDollator culture in general.

With all due respect, I’ll have to pass. Thanks again for the offer!

Cheers,
Davecat

Yeah; needless to say, that would’ve been a disaster of Hindenburgian proportions. A cluster of klieg lights melting my face off my skull, whilst a room full of people fail to understand what the hell I’m talking about or why being an iDollator is even an option. Just watch though, as Tyra’s crew contacts Everhard. Or Stacy Leigh. Or Gordon Griggs?

I know, right? Tyra Banks, of all people! Who’s next, Sally Jesse Raphael? She still has a show, right? Shows you how often I watch telly

Sdtrk: ‘Waterloo’ by ABBA

Unbloodybelievable. Just when you thought that Gerrrraldo soliciting me was the Pinnacle of Unlikely, this was sent to my Myspace Inbox:

From: CBS Paramount (myspace.com/cbsparamount)
Date: Oct 29, 2007 5:04 PM
Subject: Dr. Phil Show!

Hi Davecat!

My name is Heather Mansfield and I work for the Dr. Phil show here in Los Angeles. I have been trying to get a hold of you because we are extremely interested in doing a story about you and others like you who are Real Doll lovers. If you are at all interested in this, please let me know! My number here is [phone number].

Thanks so much!
Heather Mansfield

‘Trying to get a hold of you’. Like I’m extraordinarily difficult to contact or something.
What else could I say? I mean, apart from

From: Davecat
Date: Oct 31, 2007 12:10 AM
Subject: RE: Dr. Phil Show!

Hey Heather –

Thanks for the offer, but I’m afraid I must decline. For one, I don’t really know who Dr Phil is — I’ve not watched broadcast television since ‘Seinfeld’ went off the air — but somehow I don’t think that being on national television with people who are more than likely either out to ‘convert’ me, or make a mockery of my preference in partners, would be the best decision I’ve made all week. Besides, I’m really no longer doing interviews for free, and I’m fairly certain that CBS isn’t exactly willing to ante up air fare both to and from LA, as well as lodging, and at least half the cost of a new RealDoll (Sidore is in need of a new body). I could of course be wrong, but somehow I doubt it…

Don’t be too disappointed! I turned down appearing on Geraldo’s little media circus for the same reasons!

Cheers,
Davecat, with valued assistance from Sidore

Strangely, she’s not responded! Granted, she might be awaiting a phone call instead of another Email, but I just can’t see myself calling LA just to say ‘sorry, no, and should I have heard of this Dr Phil person?’
Truth be told, I do know who he is, but I’m not too keen on his work. If you’re a legitimate psychiatrist/counselor/witch doctor, somehow I think you’d be concentrating more on private consultations with your patients than being a high-profile media personality. But that’s just me. Tsukihime compared him (favourably) to Oprah, at which point I think I actually made a gagging sound.

Like I always say in instances like this, I was spoiled by having my first television appearance conducted with the wonderful Elisabeth Alexandre, as she and I corresponded via Email for almost three months before she asked if I’d like to be a part of ‘Eves de silicone’ for the public telly station France 3 back in 2001. (Yes, Sidore and I have been on television several times prior to ‘Guys and Dolls’. Hit up ‘Shouting etc etc’s search engine *points to sidebar* if you’re curious, as I’m too lazy to link them right now) Her approach was like good dating: get to know the person first, feel them out, then ask them out. ‘Dr’ Phil and sensitive investigator Geraldo are like ‘Say babe, you look interesting. Wanna come back to my place and fuck?’ Some people don’t mind that, obviously, but I’m not one of them. Errr, it depends on who’s asking. But my point is that a little research on me and iDollator culture before asking after an interview is pretty damned important…

Miss Hyde had brought up an interesting question recently — will there be a similar wave of hype for ‘Lars etc etc’ over in the UK? Will it even be screened in the UK? Somehow I don’t picture it as being such a tremendous affair as it is here, as being a Doll owner or lover isn’t as widespread (yet) as it is in the States, but there’s always a chance…
You know who I think it’d be fun to be interviewed by, should Britain decide to start making discrete enquiries? Jonathan Ross. Going by what shows I’ve seen of his, namely all three episodes of Americana (his documentary series on American midwestern culture) and the entire run of Japanorama (his loveletter concerning all things Japan), I think he’d be one of the more suitable candidates — he’s a self-confessed otaku, and he has a uniquely distinctive image and style, consisting mostly of baggy dress suits in unusual colours. When Nick and Tanya were filming the Missus and I, they’d mentioned that the concept of RealDolls might well be up his alley. Huh. Up to anything next Spring, Wossy?

Now would any other ill-advised opportunists like to put a bid in? The line forms to your left