This will be the best thing you’ve ever voted for (2007 edition)

typed for your pleasure on 10 February 2007, at 2.13 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Dead womb’ by Death from above 1979

In the interest of promoting a wee bit more interactivity from readers of ‘Shouting etc etc’ — the ratio of people that visit to people that actually leave comments is probably about 10:1 — I came up with this after finding new info and pics concerning China’s first Gynoid, Dion. Yes, that’s forthcoming as well.
So I thought: in the meantime, why not whip up a poll? Why not, indeed?

Which modern-day Gynoid would you most love to spend a dirty week-end with?
Actroid
Actroid DER
Actroid DER2
Ando-san
Dion
EveR-1
EveR-2 Muse
Android SAYA
pollcode.com free polls

And here are the nominees!


Actroid


Actroid DER


Actroid DER2


Ando-san


Dion


EveR-1


EveR-2 Muse


Android SAYA

If you’re so inclined, you can indicate who you voted for and why in the comments. And anyone who pipes up with any bobbins along the lines of ‘well, they can’t even walk, let alone fu…’ or worse, gets the back of my hand. This poll is for Amusement Purposes Only. That also means you won’t actually win a date with the lass that receives the most votes, either. But don’t let that prevent you from voting, by god!

The poll will run for a week, so vote with vigour

ADDENDUM (17 Feb): Well, it’s been a week! I kinda lied; you can still vote after today, but I just wanted to see what results would occur within a seven-day period.
Unfortunately, very few people commented, but a handful did at least vote. Glancing at the stats right now, it seems Actroid DER2-chan has taken most peoples’ hearts, with 58% of the vote; EveR-2 Muse came in second with 26%; and a couple of people were drawn by Ando-san’s MILFiness, at 11%. Sadly, everyone else received nul points, with the exception of poor Actroid DER-chan, who got a single vote, as I voted for her. 🙂

Remember, you can keep voting if you like! I’m sure the other lasses would love some appreciation as well! Just think: dirty week-end

Technorati tags: Gynoid, Actroid, EveR-1, EveR-2 Muse, Synthetik

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‘Hello, sir? Bring me your head, please’

typed for your pleasure on 8 February 2007, at 5.44 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before’ by the Smiths

Saw this on my monitor at work, and as it references one of my favourite films, I couldn’t stop giggling.

Strangely enough, he didn’t answer the phone

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First Major Tom’s a junkie, now this

typed for your pleasure on 7 February 2007, at 12.01 am

Sdtrk: ‘Just can’t get enough’ by Nouvelle vague

Attention J.G Ballard: here’s your latest work of short fiction just waiting to be written. Just throw in a couple of carcrashes, a few clinker rocks, and some high-profile personalities from the Sixties, and BAM! They’ll herald it as ‘a return to form’.

Astronaut in murder plot charge
BBC News | Tuesday, 6 February 2007, 17:52 GMT

A US astronaut accused of attacking a woman she considered competition for the affection of a shuttle pilot has been charged with attempted murder.

Earlier a Florida court had ordered that Navy Capt Lisa Nowak, 43, who was facing charges of attempted kidnapping and battery, could be freed on bail.

However, the introduction of the more serious charge that she intended to murder Colleen Shipman reverses that. A mother of three, Capt Nowak flew on the space shuttle Discovery last July.

Airport interception

The man at the centre of the love triangle was said to be Navy Cmdr William Oefelein, who was a pilot on the Discovery’s mission to the space station in December.

Though he and Capt Nowak never flew on the same mission, they did train together.

According to her written police statement, Capt Nowak described her attachment to Cmdr Oefelein as “more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship”.

Capt Nowak is understood to have thought that Ms Shipman was romantically involved with Cmdr Oefelein.

So, when she heard that her rival was due to fly from Texas to Florida, she decided to drive the 1,000 miles (1,600km) from her home in Houston to Orlando International Airport to intercept and confront her. (emphasis mine)

Capt Nowak told police she had not wanted to harm Ms Shipman, just wanting to scare her rival into talking about her relationship with Cmdr Oefelein.

To avoid toilet breaks during the long drive to Orlando, Capt Nowak wore an adult nappy – such as astronauts wear during shuttle launches and landings – and she disguised herself with a wig, dark glasses and a trench coat.
the rest of the article is here

The thing that really gets me, apart from Captain Nowak driving virtually non-stop from Texas to Florida fuelled by Pure Jealousy, is the part where ‘an officer followed Capt Nowak and she was stopped allegedly carrying the wig, an air rifle, a steel mallet, rubber tubing, dustbin bags, black gloves and a knife.’ She obviously meant business!
There’s a footnote in ‘The Atrocity exhibition’, one of my favourite books of J.G Ballard’s, that sprung to mind when I’d read this report:

Little information has been released about the psychological effects of space travel, both on the astronauts and the the public at large. Over the years NASA spokesmen have even denied that the astronauts dream at all during their space flights. But it is clear from the subsequently troubled careers of many of the astronauts (Armstrong, probably the only man for whom the 20th century will be remembered 50,000 years from now, refuses to discuss the moon-landing) that they suffered severe psychological damage.

Perhaps this is partially why Dave Bowman went mad?

EDIT: Damnit, someone at Ballardian already knew about this. Hardly a surprise, really… I’d love to know what James Graham himself thinks about the whole affair

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Yes, ubernyms

typed for your pleasure on 3 February 2007, at 5.57 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Waterman’ by Hearts of soul

Casual readers of this blogue might well drop in and wonder what the living hell I’m crapping on about, having been assaulted with a new and unfamiliar lexicon of ‘Sidore’ this and ‘Gynoid’ that, and the like. Enter… Ubernyms. Thanks to having seen them in action over on the Duck, I’m totally abusing them. Merely hover that so-called mouse pointer of yours over a word with dashed lines beneath it, and check out the brief explanation that pops up! Short of distilling ‘Shouting etc etc’ into liquid form and injecting it straight into your frontal lobes, what could be simpler? Besides, doing that is unfortunately more time-consuming and less cost-effective than it sounds. But it sure is fun.

Kudos to Huddled Masses, for doing coding work that I’d never in a million years be arsed to do myself!
More ubernyms to follow shortly, of course

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Miss, your arm’s ringing

typed for your pleasure on 3 February 2007, at 1.24 pm

Sdtrk: ‘La fille d’un garçon’ by France Gall

You notice that there were no entries for the ‘Any Doll / Synthetiks news, Davecat?’ series for January? Sorry about that. There was nothing to report, which was really a disappointment on all fronts. With any luck, there’ll be something a-stirring for February!
So in the interim, here’s a link to an article I spotted on a blog called Robot Gossip.
Yes yes; fingers on the pulse of, etc etc. Or was I just trawling Google for Gynoid articles? You make the call!

Diesel Sweeties

Another sign of the acceptance of robots showed up in newspapers across the country today.
The comic Diesel Sweeties is about a robot, Clango Cyclotron, with a human girlfriend. It has been appearing online since 2000 and is now syndicated in newspapers across the country.
In the Houston Chronicle, Diesel Sweeties replaces Momma. Granted Momma was never very funny, but it was about family. It was about a typical dysfunctional family, you know, the chronically unemployed grown son who neglects his aging mother until he needs money. The spiteful mother who drives her children away with sarcastic comments and passive-aggressive emotional traps. But it was about family!
This new comic promotes the robot agenda by ignoring the traditional family in favor of robot-human relationships.
the complete post is here

Plus, it pimps Diesel sweeties, which is a fine comic, a fine comic. Why aren’t you reading it right this very minute?? O.

And here’s a nice wee clip for a Japanese keitai (cellphone) company, starring who I think is Ayumi Hamasaki as a Gynoid. Not sure if it’s actually her, but if you’ve ever seen pics of her, you’d probably agree, as she brings bold new meaning to the term ‘manufactured idol singer’.

Why anyone would make a Synthetik that’s powered by a cellphone stored in her arm is beyond me, but *shrug*

Technorati tags: robot, Gynoid, Synthetik, Diesel Sweeties, Ayumi Hamasaki

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‘Reruns again??’

typed for your pleasure on 1 February 2007, at 12.35 pm

Sdtrk: ‘To here knows when’ by My bloody valentine

For those of you who missed the fab documentary ‘Guys and Dolls’ the first time, the second time, or apparently the time it was recently aired in Australia as ‘Love me, love my Doll’, citizens of Britain (well, England) can catch it one mo’ time Friday, 16 February at 11pm, on FIVE. Who knew RealDolls would be that popular?

Also, you can check out the (repost of the) post that Penda wrote about her experience with the North One film crew. Can only two people comprise a crew? Sure, why not.

‘Who’s that on the telly?’
‘Looks like Davecat and Sidore.’
‘Well, tell them to get off, their legs are blocking the screen. Besides, how’d they even manage to sit atop a flat-screen telly anyway?’

Technorati tags: Davecat, Sidore, MontiLee, RealDoll, iDollator, Guys and Dolls, Five, UK television

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Moderns

typed for your pleasure on 29 January 2007, at 11.39 am

Sdtrk: ‘An American in Paris’ by Severed heads

When accumulating info/pics/facts/crap for my world-famous ‘This was the Future’ series, now and again, I’ll run across some neat bit of architectural or design anachronism, but it’s simply too modern to feature as a segment of that series. However, noteworthiness always deserves recognition, which is why they stuck stars to kids’ foreheads back in gradeschool. So here’s a couple of retro-future things that have a wee bit more emphasis on the future than the retro.

First off, the ‘“Oneself” Bathroom for Person who Lives Itself‘. I couldn’t have put it better myself, honestly.

Our world packed sewer, packed barriers. The Oneself project – a bathroom for person who lives itself. For it each wall spare and him necessary each square metre for selfrealization. There is no bathroom, there is simply wall.

And there is no Dana, only Zuul, for that matter. For those of you who don’t speak fractured English, basically it’s the component parts of a bathroom, secretly integrated into the wall of the bedroom. That bog in particular kinda reminds me of Mal Reynolds’ toilet onboard the Serenity. When your business is done, you just slide it back into the wall. Quite efficient!

Next up, the apartment building known as Suite Vollard, located in Curitiba, Brazil. Upon first glance, it seems like a regular, if somewhat chi-chi, resort hotel. But it has a secret feature — all of the 11 apartments of the building rotate. It’s as if someone saw Marina City, and decided to strap engines to its infrastructure.


Does whimsical pipe-organ music play when the flats are in
motion? It had better

From the interior of the Suite Vollard building, no landscape is fixed. With the mere pressing of a button, residents of each of the 11 apartments can have 360º panoramic view of the city.

Each apartment has its own independent engine system, which can be engaged with a remote control. A complete clockwise or counterclockwise 360º turn takes one hour and the system is equipped with a programming timer.

The apartments have 2885 ft and are surrounded by 323 ft of glass balconies that give access to all rooms through the doors, placed at every 90º. The central area of the apartment does not move in which the kitchen, bathrooms, maid bedroom, laundry area, and barbecue grill are located.
text taken from this site

All that, plus a bedroom for the maid, eh? Huh. Well, I suppose that if you’re living in a high-rise penthouse in Brazil that rotates, then having a maid is merely part and parcel.

When I was younger, I thought my ideal situation would be to buy an RV and live in it. I’d simply drive it to the lot of whatever workplace I was at and park it there for an extended period of time, and have a Vespa or a Lambretta to tool about the local roads on. As I grew older, a couple of realisations occured:
1) I began buying more and more space-consuming things
2) Having your home on the same lot as your workplace isn’t really conducive to skiving off work — not that I ever do that sort of thing, you understand
3) Riding a scooter during the Winter is probably not the best idea a person could have
Despite all of that, I might readopt my plan if I could afford one of these — a refitted London double decker bus that you can live in, courtesy of Double Decker Living. How fab is that?


Of course I’d paint a Union Jack on mine somewhere

On the outside it looks like an ordinary London double decker bus. But take a step inside and you will find a kitchen, shower, sitting room and five beds.

A fleet of Leyland Olympian buses that were retired from service two years ago have been given a new lease of life as the latest solution to the capital’s housing crisis.

A company called Double Decker Living has converted eight buses with private sleeping areas upstairs and living space downstairs.

[…] There are solar panels on the roof and recycling bins to make the buses as environmentally friendly as possible.

Kinda reminds me of one of comedian Steven Wright’s hoary Surrealist joke chestnuts: ‘I put my car key in my door lock by mistake, and when I turned it, the whole building started up.’ *pauses for added comic effect* ‘So I took it for a drive. A police officer stopped me and asked, “Where do you live?” I said, “Right here.”‘

And finally, two week-ends ago, Detroit was host once again to the North American International Auto Show; or as we just call it round here in the tri-county area, the Auto show. Every couple of years I try to catch it, as I like wandering round the Volkswagen and the MINI exhibits, even though the last couple of times, I haven’t been able to climb into a MINI, as there are too many damned people milling round. And it’s around that time that I remember why I hate crowds. Anyway, I missed the 2007 one, as I was skint — my paycheque was laughable, due to missing four out of five days because of the grippe — but I would’ve been there in a heartbeat had I known the Aero X by Saab was to be displayed there. Have you seen this thing? It… it is magnificent.


It also transforms into Flight Mode

Now I, much like any aesthete, love the concept of gull-wing car doors. But the Aero X features an entire canopy that lifts open to admit occupants. It also boasts an economically-friendly engine, the ability to go 0 – 60 mpg in 4.9 seconds, and some other bollocks, but I’m looking at those pics, and all I see is ‘sexatronic perspex green-illuminated dashboard’ and ‘opening fecking canopy that’s so awesome it’s awesomn‘. This is the result of European engineering that also develops aircraft in its spare time. Well done, Sweden!

Modern design: it’s not all rubbish!
Well, I think I’ve gotten that out of my system

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