Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat? (Jan 2008)

typed for your pleasure on 13 January 2008, at 3.45 am

Sdtrk: ‘Red light’ by Siouxsie and the Banshees

Not so much news as a heads-up: Axis Japan, 1st-PC, and, after a very long wait, Abyss creations, have all updated their sites for the new year. Axis Japan’s got a cluster of new pics of their Honey Doll models, 1st-PC boasts a more streamlined site layout, and Abyss has both a modern site layout (with pics by the esteemed and sexy iDollator Stacy Leigh), and with pics of their new Face 15 and 16 types, Lisa and Gabrielle. Well, as of this writing, they’ve yet to load pics of those, but I’m sure it’s at the top of their To-Do List…

A couple of days previous, I received an Email from a reader who wishes to remain anonymous, letting me know there’s a new blog that details ‘the “sex with robots” meme’, called, of all things, SpurtBOT. Despite the daffy name, they have a critical approach with a light touch that doesn’t go down dry. Yes, that was a pun. Worth a bookmarking? I’d say so!

And yesterday, while out and about wi’ me mates ransacking Ann arbor, I picked up a copy of David Levy’s recent book, ‘Love and Sex with Robots‘, as recommended by frequent reader ButtonJessie. (Hi, BuJe!) As you suspect, I’m rather looking forward to reading that…

So there you have it! This instalment isn’t as thick and rich as the usual ones, but I’m hoping more news rolls in as the months roll past. In the meantime, here’s a sexy picture to make up the difference!


Is she sleeping on toweling? That can’t be comfortable

Technorati tags: Axis Japan, Honey Dolls, 1st-PC, Abyss Creations, RealDolls, Stacy Leigh, iDollators, SpurtBOT, David Levy, robots, Androids, Gynoids, Technosexuals

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Unusual! / Embarrassing!

typed for your pleasure on 11 January 2008, at 1.37 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Judy is a punk’ by the Ramones

A number of months ago while on my daily route to work, I’d noticed a storefront on westbound 12 mile that specialises in gardening, historical landscaping, and the like. They listed in bold lettering on one of their windows what their specialties are, and I’d noticed that one of their services is the design of follies. Now, a folly, if you’re not familiar with it, is a structure that serves no true purpose except for ostentatious decoration. They’re usually either towers or monuments; some can be castles or gardens. Interestingly enough, the Wiki entry lists North Korea’s legendary non-existent building, the Ryugyong Hotel, as a folly, which stands to reason.
Personally, I can’t say I’m very knowledgable about follies, and my architectural/cultural interest in them isn’t as intense as all that 20th century Modern stuff that I love, but follies are kinda ace. The premise is fantastic and idiotic all at the same time. ‘I’m an addle-brained gout-riddled baron with too much money, and I’m going to build a fanciful tower on my estate so that my name lives forever. FOREVER!!’ *flings turkey leg at nearest wolfhound, bursts into long, discomforting laughter* The closest thing we have to that nowadays are mausoleums, and decorative as those can be, their purpose is pretty clear-cut. With a folly, it’s more like, ‘I built it because I could’.

So as I’d said, I pass this place on a regular basis, and one morning recently I’d noticed there was a bloke in a t-shirt at the drafting table, clearly visible from the road, at work on a design. The astonishing thing was this was at a quarter to eight in the morning.
Seven-forty five in the AM, and you’re in there, sketchin’ up follies?? Has there been a sudden upswing in folly demand, the likes of which haven’t been seen since 18th century England, that I somehow managed to miss? I mean, apart from the Millenium Dome, that is?

If you’re becoming more and more rabidly curious about follies, you can check out The Folly Fancier, which is where I first learned of the phenomenon. Ahh, Internet.

Unrelated: To my own shame, I’d like to point out that I’m 35 years old, and I still haven’t heard Kraftwerk’s ‘Autobahn’ in its entirety. Or ‘The Man-machine’. Or ‘Trans-Europe express’, for that matter. In fact, I really haven’t heard most of their backcatalogue, with the exception of Computer world (had it on vinyl), Electric cafe (had it on tape) and Radioactivity (had it on Cd). But not having heard all of ‘Autobahn’? That’s actually something to be ashamed of

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Once the Elvis Presley is mass-produced, we’ll be able to crush the Federation in no time

typed for your pleasure on 2 January 2008, at 2.17 am

Sdtrk: ‘A stairway to the stars’ by The caretaker

Anyone who’s ever been on an airplane owned by an American airline in the past couple of decades has more than likely flipped merrily through a SkyMall catalogue. Taking consumer excess to zany new extremes, the SkyMall selection consists of overpriced rubbish, designed for ostensible convenience, aimed at people with more money than sense. Things like motorised illuminated tie racks, or a Murphy bed for dogs, or garden sculptures shaped like a yeti, or nearly anything with the word ‘executive’ appended to the front of the title. You think I’m joking?

Recently, my pal Zip Gun came back from a flight with a copy of a recent catalogue, with a page dog-eared just for me:


A hunka hunka burning silicone

“Alive Elvis” animatronic robot moves, talks and sings just like “The King” in his “’68 Comeback Special”!

Elvis Presley–the biggest-selling and most charismatic solo artist in music history–is captured here in all his heartbreaking glory, just as he looked on television’s legendary “Elvis ’68 Comeback Special.”

“Alive Elvis” is a lifelike and life-size bust of Elvis Presley. State-of-the-art technologies–multiple infrared vision sensors, stereo speakers, 10 precision motors with motion-capture facial animations, and 21st century materials–have been used by Wowwee to lovingly craft a robot that looks, feels, sounds and moves like a real person. Wowwee Alive Elvis is the first high-quality animatronic robot of any superstar ever designed for a fan’s home or office.
taken from this page

That’s right; clear out a special place in your home right now for 1/5th of an Android Elvis. The descriptions, both on the SkyMall page and the manufacturer’s site, are kinda disappointing, as the SkyMall print catalogue gets a little sexy with the descriptive phrases — things like ‘stroke his lifelike hair’ and ‘gaze into his baby blue eyes’; things of that nature. So I suppose if you 1) are a Technosexual, and 2) love Elvis beyond all reason, then this product is made specifically for you. Certainly I fall into the first category, but much like Nineties alt.pop group The Wonder Stuff, I’ve never loved Elvis. I don’t even like him as a friend!

Which begs the question: How much money will I have to give WowWee for them to make an Alive™ France Gall? Come on, people, don’t crush my pervy dreams

Technorati tags: SkyMall, Elvis Presley, robots, Androids, Technosexuals, WowWee, France Gall, yeti

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This is post no.560. Believe it

typed for your pleasure on 30 December 2007, at 3.52 am

Sdtrk: ‘Blood on the floor’ by Throbbing gristle

SIDORE: So what are you writing, love?
DAVECAT: I’m writing an entry to explain why there hasn’t been any writing lately.
SIDORE: Ahh, clever. *shakes head*

An announcement: I have to say that I’m almost entirely out of writing! But do come back next year, when I’ll have a new shipment of nouns, verbs and adjectives. Regrettably, it seems that Deafening silence Plus didn’t place an order large enough to cover the length and breadth of 2007, so we’ve come up a wee bit short. You can probably also attribute that to the domestic shortage of consonants and vowels; most of which are, as you know, being shipped to our soldiers overseas. Personally speaking, I’m using a backstock that’s been accumulating since 1985, but that has to be used sparingly, otherwise I’ll be reduced to writing like an uncultured churl.

So! What does the future hold for ‘Shouting etc etc’? Errm, more posts, I would suppose?
If I were to confess that I have no true plans, and I’m still just winging it after three and a half years, would you be immensely surprised? Nah — I didn’t you would…

Happy new year, humans!

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Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat? (Dec 2007)

typed for your pleasure on 23 December 2007, at 7.27 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Winter in Canada’ by Elisa Gabbai

Not one, but two fellow iDollators, Mahtek and PB Shelley, have simultaneously brought another noteworthy Doll manufacturer to my slavering attention: Phoenix studios. Absolutely lovely.


Left, Miss January 2008; right, Miss February 2008

Hand crafted by the creator of RealDoll, through a new sister company of Abyss Creations, Phoenix Studios, these dolls will only be available as limited editions. Each Boy Toy is named after a month, and the quantity of each doll that will be made will be equal to the number of days in that month. There will only be 31 Miss December dolls, 31 Miss January, etc. These are extremely limited quantities, and each doll will be hand detailed by Matt McMullen and include a signed and numbered certificate of authenticity.

So when Matt wasn’t rocking out with his rock band of rock, Nick Black, he was developing these Dolls in secret. Very clever, Mr McMullen, very clevair. Seems that he’s taken various developmental aspects of RealDolls and refined them (highly tear- and stain-resistant silicone, lighter weight displacement) for use in the Boy Toy Dolls. Our hope is, of course, that those developments are implemented with RealDolls in the near future.
As you’ll note, they’re definitely aiming for the collector’s demographic, what with the limited edition quality of their lasses. And you know there’s gonna be someone who gets one Doll for every month. Prof.Sakai, I’m looking in your direction…

Also, I ran across this rather nice piece of fiction called ‘I, Real Doll‘ on Everything2.com:

I am alive, if you only knew it. To your eyes, your senses, I am nothing more than a simulacrum of a woman made up of silicone, rubber and steel. You must position me to strike a pose, paint me with makeup, dress me with your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife’s clothing. You care for me in your little ways and ensure my safety, take me out for trips on the boat or in the car as though I were perfectly real. Over time you came to regard me as your ideal fantasy: a woman you can get physical pleasure from without having emotional baggage to deal with. I don’t talk. I don’t move. I don’t leave when you’re in a grouchy mood. I just sit in the corner or in the closet and wait… for you, my owner, my master. I am the ultimate submissive, entirely dependent upon you.

Rare as it is to see online writings that don’t demonise Dolls and Doll culture, it’s rarer still to see a favourable work of fiction, and rarer still to read one from the viewpoint of the Synthetik. NightShadow, you get four Thumbs Up from myself and the Missus!

Happy 23rd, peoples! Hope your holidays are a Gift Explosion!

Technorati tags: Abyss Creations, RealDolls, Phoenix Studios, Boy Toy Dolls, iDollators

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That’s what his name was, alrighty

typed for your pleasure on 18 December 2007, at 8.10 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Dead plane’ by No age

ME (blinking at name on screen): Hi, err… Mr Ponce?
LUCKY CLIENT: Who?
ME: Mr Ponce?
LUCKY CLIENT: …I’m sorry, I’m not understanding you. Mr Potts?
ME: PONCE! MR PONCE! YOU ARE PONCE?!

Yes, my cubemates were staring at me laughing like a madman. Yes, I’m ten years old

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This, then, is Winter

typed for your pleasure on 16 December 2007, at 3.44 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Let’s live for the present’ by the Continental Co-ets

More like This, then, is bollocks. I’ve just had to brush about five inches’ worth off my car this morning/afternoon, and we’re expected to receive another five before the day’s overwith. Ugh. Mother Nature, kindly get your shit together, as this is out of hand

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