Sdtrk: ‘Liar’ by the Sex pistols

Finally, a holiday that I can wholeheartedly get behind! Apart from Hallowe’en, that is. And, ah, Festivus.

Celebrate National Punctuation Day®
September 24, 2006

People all over the United States are celebrating the new holiday, National Punctuation Day®, which is listed in Chase’s Calendar of Events as a celebration of the lowly comma, correctly used quotes, and other proper uses of periods, semicolons and the ever mysterious ellipsis.

Jeff Rubin, owner/publisher of The Newsletter Guy, a newsletter publishing company based in Pinole, CA, founded National Punctuation Day® to draw attention to the importance of proper punctuation. It’s a day for librarians, educators, and parents — people who are interested in teaching and promoting good writing skills to their students and their children. It’s also a day to remind business people that they are often judged by how they present themselves.

If you’re like me and you have a baby aneurysm every time you see a sign that says ‘CD’S AND DVD’S FOR SALE’, or if you get the red mist whenever you encounter ‘it’s’ and ‘its’ being erroneously transposed, you’ll dig this holiday as much as I expect I will. Kinda makes you want to go shoot Myspace right in the face, eh? *nods vigourously*

There have been a shedload of punctuation faux pas since.. well, whenever, but my two recent faves would have to be ‘Alot’, and ‘Infact’. When did these become single words? Did I fall asleep one day, and wake up in The Land Where Language Gets Sodomised?
Yes; technically those would be misspellings, but punctuation fuckups are closely related. They’re the slightly less-inbred cousin.

Aaanyway, that’s National Punctuation day, 24 September. Learn it, live it, be it

Sdtrk: ‘Lass dir Zeit’ by die Crazy Girls

Frantic Frightened Frequent readers of ‘Shouting etc etc’ know how much I love that fat orange cartoon cat named Garfield™®. And when I say ‘love’, I of course mean ‘loathe‘. However, in reading the recent b3ta newsletter deposited gently within my Inbox, I now know of exactly six strips of that ‘comic’ series that I actually enjoy. One of the features it had was a link to one of those periodically-funny-but-usually-repellent ytmnd sites, having to do with the death of Garfield™®. I’ll provide the link here in a moment, but first, let the associated Wikipedia entry relate to you its tale.

One storyline, which lasted a week from October 23, 1989 (possibly to coincide with Halloween, although the 31st actually fell the following week), is unique among Garfield strips in that it is not meant to be humorous. It depicts Garfield awakening in a future in which the house is abandoned and he no longer exists. This is revealed to have been a dream of some kind, and ends with this narration:

“An imagination is a powerful tool. It can tint memories of the past, shade perceptions of the present, or paint a future so vivid that it can entice…or terrify, all depending on how we conduct ourselves today.”

Alternatively, some theorize that the end of this storyline actually implies that the rest of the series, the more conventional strips, are all fantasies Garfield is playing out in his head to delude himself from realizing the dark turn his life has taken, as he slowly starves to death in an abandoned house. (emphasis mine) One would assume that his ability to eat more than physically possible in usual strips would be his use of fantasies to stave off his growing hunger and starvation. This theory is arguably supported by the text, as right before Jon and Odie reappear, the narration reads:

“After years of taking life for granted, Garfield is shaken by a horrifying vision of the inevitable process called ‘time.’ He has only one weapon…denial…”

This emphasis on “denial,” with the word given its own box in the panel it appears in, and being followed immediately by the earlier text on the power of the imagination, could support the horrifying theory. However, it could also be that denial is what Garfield needed to snap himself out of this dark vision. This is also more likely considering the only way Garfield could have gotten into “a world where he no longer exists” is if that world were a dream. Many, however, attribute the bleak world to the future Ebeneezer Scrooge witnessed in A Christmas Carol, where he beholds the dark and bleak image the world has become because of his negligence and lack of gratitude for other people’s efforts. Still, another point of view on this storyline is that Davis was parodying The Twilight Zone series, which often featured ominous narratives, similar to the use of narration in this set of bleak strips. Another interpretation is that Davis was going through what might have been a period of depression or crisis, and used this set of strips as a form of self-therapy. Lastly, another widely-believed theory is that Garfield was only in the house for a few days before he was rescued in the November 2 and November 3 strips, and the ‘storyline’ was just an introduction to the next week of ‘flashbacks’.

In this age of the Internuts, where lies are the order of the day, and Wikipedia being no exception, I had my doubts as to whether these strips were real. But doubt no more! Simply go to the Official Garfield™® Media Conglomerate Headquarters Web Presence here, set the controls to 1989 October 23, and look for yourself! Chilling, yes, but honestly, I’d have to say these are the funniest Garfield™® strips ever written.

The aforementioned ytmnd site would be here, just so you know. And at this point, I’d normally mention the occurrence of the date that story arc started with a favourite number of mine, but freaked-out fucked up frequent readers of ‘Shouting etc etc’ would’ve already kenned that.

‘I come not to praise Garfield, but to bury him’

As some of you may have noticed, I’ve not written too much over the past week or so. I was waiting for the throngs of uninformed gawkers streaming in from a couple of Internet forums to piss off.

I’m considering packing it in as far as doing iDollator-related shoots & interviews for a while. For one, professional shoots can’t really be done where I’m currently staying, as the interior decor isn’t really to my liking and I can’t do a tremendous amount about it, which means going out-of-doors is the only option. I don’t really like leaving the house as it is, and since people seem largely averse to the concept of lifesized Dolls, taking Shi-chan with me is obviously a big risk for the pair of us.
As far as interviews, there’s too much of a chance of misreprentation. With Elisabeth Alexandre, Elena Dorfman, and Meghan Laslocky, I lucked out big time, in the aspect that things went pretty well (apart from the whole feminazi shitstorm, of course). They were empathetic, they did their research, and overall, they were nice, supportive people. But then, much like in day-to-day existence, for every one good encounter, there’s like thirty bad ones. More like, one bad encounter that’s worth about thirty bad ones.

I had thought about registering on one or both of the boards that are having a go at me in order to leave a comment, but I figured, why bother? As cynical as I am, I still have this underlying optimism that people will be reasonable, listen, and attempt to make even the smallest effort to understand people that aren’t like themselves. Bullshit. People either say they understand and empathise with you, when they actually don’t have Clue One, or they simply don’t want to make an attempt in the first place. It’s my belief that after a person hits the age of, say, sixteen, there’s pretty much nothing anyone can do or say to change that person’s way of thinking. Furthermore, the older they get, the slimmer the chances are for them to be open to other peoples’ ways of living and conducting themselves.
So why bother? I spend enough time and energy as it is on so-called worthwhile pursuits; what would be the point in me airing my views on their forums? Hell, I’m only one of the people they’re talking about!

One of the more level-headed people on one of the aforementioned forums concerned with my lack of romantic conformity had said, ‘Feel free to pile on the lonliest self-delusional nerds on the planet though. They’re used to it and I’m sure only reinforces their need for a doll.’
Apart from the first sentence, I could not agree more. I’ve always said that one of the most attractive features of a Doll is that they don’t judge.

Between the past couple of weeks at my dodgy job, this recent parade of self-righteous cakefuckers, and just a general lack of drive to write about anything, Doll-related or otherwise, I’m taking a break. Those who wish to contact me already know how to do so.

See you in a month

Sdtrk: ‘Slug bait’ by Throbbing gristle

During one of my recent phone crashes — I have a Kyocera 7135 Smartphone, and I swear, the OS on the fucker crashes at least once a week, cos Kyocera seem to have this ‘fire and forget’ policy when it comes to making their phones, so their customer support is nonexistent — I seem to have lost all my saved birthdates for mates. *glares menacingly at phone*
It’s embarrassing. This is what Technology has brought us to. I don’t remember phone numbers anymore thanks to Caller ID, and birthdates are just a string of random numbers vaguely assigned to the mental image of a human I don’t hate.

So yeah; please let me know what your birthdate is again — either leave it in the comments, or Email me or something. Or you can call me! AH HA HA HA HA SO FUNY

Sdtrk: ‘Packing, printing & light assembly’ by Basil Kirchin

As I was driving through my neighbourhood going home today, I saw a young man walking down the middle of the road. Now the problem here is that there were available sidewalks on either side of the road that he was clearly uninterested in using, and he was in my way. No, the stupid bastard was more enthralled with the idea of obstructing, or at least slowing, my progress. I have absolutely no respect for people who do that shit. I don’t even mind it if a person is in the road, but perhaps walking alongside the kerb no more than a foot away, but this tosser was about a foot away from the centre of the road. I wanted to shout at him as I passed, ‘They’re called “sidewalks” for a reason, you cakefucker.‘
I should’ve run him down, like a dog in the street. Not out of nastiness, mind you, but simply to teach him a lesson. No sane jury would convict me.

On a lighter note, I present to you: the sum total of Human Evolution.

Better post later, as obviously I need to think of something arguably more interesting or profound to type

Sdtrk: ‘Top of the Pops’ by the Rezillos

Which human is having more Fun?

Session Start (kuroneko_23:james1online): Sat Mar 18 13:20:58 2006
[01.20.58 PM] james1online: hiya swety
[01.21.04 PM] james1online: hw re u doing today amjames
[01.21.10 PM] kuroneko_23: Who?
[01.21.35 PM] james1online: am james
[01.21.43 PM] james1online: hw re u doing today?/
[01.21.57 PM] kuroneko_23: That.. tells me nothing.
You do realise I’m a bloke, right?
[01.22.26 PM] james1online: i want to meet u
[01.22.42 PM] james1online: what re u talking am about
[01.22.58 PM] kuroneko_23: Do you speak English at all? Or understand it?
[01.23.05 PM] james1online: james
[01.23.25 PM] james1online: yes
[01.23.30 PM] james1online: what ur name Ms
[01.23.33 PM] kuroneko_23: ‘James’ is no language that I’ve heard of.
[01.23.40 PM] james1online: am james
[01.23.43 PM] kuroneko_23: I AM A MAN, YOU DUMB TWAT.
[01.23.52 PM] james1online: ok
[01.24.09 PM] james1online: where re u right now
[01.24.17 PM] james1online: can i see u
[01.24.24 PM] *** james1online has added you to their contact list. You may choose to accept or deny this action. You may also add this user to your contact list or Ignore this user.
[01.24.55 PM] james1online: re u ther
[01.24.58 PM] *** You have denied access to james1online.
[01.25.09 PM] kuroneko_23: Where are you from, stupid?
[01.25.46 PM] james1online: usa
(Plot point)
[01.25.53 PM] james1online: and u
[01.26.21 PM] kuroneko_23: Are you six years old? Or mentally retarded?
Because you type like a mentally retarded six year old.
[01.26.35 PM] kuroneko_23: Were you dropped on your head as a child?
[01.26.49 PM] kuroneko_23: Do you even understand what I’m typing?
[01.27.05 PM] james1online: yes
[01.27.09 PM] james1online: tell me again
[01.27.16 PM] james1online: am a guy
[01.27.31 PM] kuroneko_23: ‘am a guy’
Question, or statement?
[01.27.42 PM] james1online: i do will u say
[01.27.50 PM] kuroneko_23: What??
[01.27.52 PM] james1online: ok
[01.27.57 PM] james1online: but u ve lady pix
(This threw me for a bit, until I realised that he was going off my IM pic — I swap out several pics of various RealDolls for my avatar. Matt McMullen, 1 – james1online, 0)
[01.28.08 PM] kuroneko_23: That means absolutely nothing.
[01.28.37 PM] james1online: ok
[01.28.42 PM] james1online: so am a gay too
[01.28.42 PM] james1online: and u
[01.28.59 PM] james1online: i use to act like the woman
[01.29.02 PM] kuroneko_23: ‘Guy’ or ‘Gay’?
I am a guy, and I am not gay.
[01.29.10 PM] kuroneko_23: That’s.. great.
[01.29.22 PM] james1online: ok
[01.29.29 PM] james1online: can we be friend
[01.29.29 PM] james1online: where re u
[01.29.36 PM] james1online: right now
[01.30.33 PM] kuroneko_23: I am at home.
And you don’t know anything about me, and you want to be my friend? Are you that desperate and/or starved for attention that you’ll attempt to befriend anyone at random on the Internet, despite the fact that every other sentence you get from them is insulting?
[01.30.37 PM] kuroneko_23: You dumb cunt?
[01.31.44 PM] james1online: really
[01.32.00 PM] kuroneko_23: YA RLY
[01.32.09 PM] james1online: can i see u on cam
[01.32.18 PM] kuroneko_23: I don’t have a cam.
[01.32.28 PM] james1online: ok
[01.32.39 PM] james1online: country
[01.32.50 PM] kuroneko_23: Look, you churl. This is my profile.
http://profiles.yahoo.com/kuroneko_23
[01.33.12 PM] james1online: ok
[01.34.06 PM] kuroneko_23: That’s why you have to do your homework before engaging people at random in conversation, you sad stupid bastard.
[01.34.44 PM] james1online: what do u for live
[01.35.01 PM] kuroneko_23: HEY, JAMES. DO ME A FAVOUR?
[01.35.25 PM] kuroneko_23: TYPE IN PROPER GODDAMN ENGLISH.
[01.35.52 PM] james1online: ok
(Get ready, as james, upon learning that I’m not actually a lass, takes a different approach. Let’s watch)
[01.35.56 PM] james1online: i need ur favour
[01.36.14 PM] james1online: can u cash me a check
[01.36.36 PM] kuroneko_23: O yeah, let me do that. I’d be HAPPY to cash your fucking cheque.
[01.36.57 PM] kuroneko_23: You’re retarded, aren’t you? Is that what your problem is?
[01.36.59 PM] james1online: ok
[01.37.23 PM] james1online: do u ve printer
[01.37.39 PM] kuroneko_23: Can you count past five, james? Is that why you want me to cash your cheque, cos it’s $6?
[01.37.54 PM] james1online: i ve to go buy papper check
[01.38.13 PM] james1online: the check cos 3700
[01.38.18 PM] kuroneko_23: The word is spelt ‘paper’, you fucking inbred.
[01.38.19 PM] james1online: $
[01.38.43 PM] james1online: ok
[01.38.43 PM] james1online: can u get it now
[01.38.58 PM] james1online: so that i can give the check in ur mail box
[01.39.12 PM] kuroneko_23: Yeah! Through the Magick of the Internet, I’ll get it! In fact, I have it RIGHT NOW.
[01.39.19 PM] james1online: so that u can print it out and go cashit
[01.39.35 PM] james1online: ok
[01.39.51 PM] james1online: \can i ve ur names ,address ,city,state,zipcode ,tell
[01.40.07 PM] james1online: mail to my box james1online@yahoo.com
(Feel free to make use of this. You know you want to)
[01.40.12 PM] james1online: now
[01.40.15 PM] kuroneko_23: Sure! But first, let me have yours. Just type it here!
[01.40.55 PM] kuroneko_23: james?
[01.41.04 PM] kuroneko_23: Send me your address.
[01.41.08 PM] kuroneko_23: Send it to me now.
[01.41.12 PM] kuroneko_23: Now, james.
[01.41.23 PM] kuroneko_23: Don’t be a cakefucker, and do what I say, james.
[01.41.33 PM] kuroneko_23: Send me your info now.
[01.41.34 PM] james1online: ok
[01.41.36 PM] kuroneko_23: Now.
[01.41.44 PM] kuroneko_23: Right now.
[01.41.49 PM] james1online: give it to me
[01.42.02 PM] kuroneko_23: You first james, or I’m ending this conversation.
[01.42.17 PM] kuroneko_23: You want me to cash that cheque for you, james?
[01.42.18 PM] james1online: u see
[01.42.34 PM] kuroneko_23: Yes or no, james? Do you want me to cash that cheque?
[01.42.49 PM] james1online: right now am in africa and i need ur help
(Hey! Didn’t you just say you were in the States? YOU SIR, ARE AN INTERNET LIAR)
[01.42.49 PM] james1online: yes
[01.43.03 PM] kuroneko_23: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
[01.43.09 PM] kuroneko_23: You’re one of THEM.
[01.43.18 PM] kuroneko_23: Robert Mugabe?
(At this point, I kenned that this was the IM version of the old-as-the-Internet-itself fraud of ‘some bloke in Africa wants you to help him out by sending him some money, and in return, he’ll send you $3 billion/access to oil fields/untold riches/etc.‘ I couldn’t remember the name that a lot of the scammers use, but ‘Robert Mugabe’ popped into my head. Plus, since Trillian has insta-access to Wikipedia, as soon as I typed that name, it showed me an entry for Mr Mugabe, who is, as far as I know, not a scammer)
[01.43.39 PM] james1online: and i willl give to some out the it 300
[01.43.39 PM] james1online: no]
[01.43.44 PM] james1online: am james walker
(James Walker was apparently someone involved with the government of an African nation. The Wiki entry I got from Trillian was different than the one you get when you go directly to their site)
[01.43.55 PM] kuroneko_23: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
[01.44.00 PM] kuroneko_23: Great!
[01.44.06 PM] james1online: *DING*
[01.44.07 PM] kuroneko_23: Can you do me a favour, james?
[01.44.19 PM] kuroneko_23: Just one favour?
[01.44.20 PM] james1online: yes
[01.44.35 PM] james1online: yes
[01.44.37 PM] kuroneko_23: GO CHOKE ON A COCK, CRAWL INTO A DITCH AND DIE, YOU WASTE OF FLESH.
[01.44.39 PM] *** james1online has been ignored.

Sdtrk: ‘Only to other people’ by The Cookies

Remember that post I’d written concerning the brilliant ‘Caring for Your Introvert’ article by Jonathan Rauch? Well, there’s a follow-up interview with him here.

Do you ever wish you were an extrovert?

Not really. That may be because my “faking it” skills are pretty good. But I do think a lot of us are tired of being told that there’s something wrong with us—of this lazy assumption that if you’re not an extrovert, there’s something wrong with you. I think my article may speak to people in part because of its defiant message. It says, “No, I don’t wish to be an extrovert. Not everyone has to be one. And why don’t you people get it?”

Again, required reading