Off my chest, onto your monitor

typed for your pleasure on 18 October 2005, at 3.41 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Silver line’ by Birdie

Contrary to popular belief, I don’t go round attacking or sniping at people left and right in ‘real-life’ situations, as not only do I have that much time on my hands, but most people really aren’t worth the effort. But I felt it necessary that I wrote this post, much in the same way that the body rids itself of toxins by vomiting. So at this point, you should probably step back a couple of feet, so you don’t get any on ya.

At this point, I’m certain that over the course of the past week or so, you’ve seen various posts all round the World Wide Wet dealing with the Salon.com article. If not, merely fire up Technorati, and search for any conjunction of the words ‘Davecat’, ‘Sidore’, ‘iDollator’, or ‘creepy’, and you’ll have several sites to choose from. Many of those posts are less than charitable, and all of those happen to be written by closed-minded arseholes.
Now, the curious thing about seeing these excoriating posts, is that 95% of them are written by politically-motivated individuals. When I say that, I mean that a lot of these blogs are normally filled with content dealing with social issues, impeaching Dubya, etc etc. That, in and of itself, is odd enough, as what does a Doll and her husband have to do with a blog of that nature? But the really strange thing is, most of these politically-motivated bloggers? They’re liberals. Or, at least, so-called liberals. You would think that a person who stands for racial equality, the elimination of societal classes, gay and lesbian rights, etc etc, would be pro-Synthetik; or, at the very least, not entirely against the idea.

Over at pandagon, where they practically had me on the gallows, it seemed that a prerequisite of writing a response that would gain you their favour was to call me a misogynist. For those of you who don’t want to wade through the 400+ responses to the post concerning Meghan’s article, basically, I am a creep/loser/sexist/misogynist/tool of the patriarchy (choose one) because not only do I own a RealDoll, but I’ve given her a personality. Giving her a personality, or even referring to Shi-chan as ‘her’ rather than ‘it’, means that I hate women, but since I’m a loser, I still want sex, but having my ‘overpriced fucktoy’ means that I don’t have to deal with a ‘real’ woman’s opinions, likes, dislikes, etc. So obviously that makes me a creep/loser/sexist/misogynist/tool of the patriarchy (choose one)! It’s that simple!
There’s oh so many problems with that school of thought. So very many.

+ I wrote two responses on the pandagon post; in the first one, I’d said

So I would assume that no-one here has ever been rejected in their advances towards a partner? I assume every single one of you has been completely and utterly successful with their dating experiences? Moreover, the person you’re with is an absolute flawless joy to be around, physically, emotionally, and mentally? Well, congratulations to the lot of you! You’re extraordinarily lucky, each and every one of you. Really, I mean that.

It really doesn’t occur to a lot of iDollator critics that quite a few owners have their Dolls because they’re sick of being rejected, due to failing to meet the standards of whatever person they’re trying to romantically impress. After a few couple of times of falling off the romance horse, some people, like me, say ‘this really isn’t fucking worth it’, and stop. Our society places great pressure on people to get together and be in a relationship, but it requires a lot of time and energy that a lot of individuals don’t have, so they ‘settle’ for someone, and either compromise parts of themselves in the process, or consciously/subconciously try to change their partner. And then, there are times when the person you’ve linked up with turns out to be a vicious liar, as KrazyQ pointed out. The pandagon fuckwits have no idea what makes an iDollator become an iDollator, as there’s no one reason. In my case, one of the foremost reasons is that I was tired of being stabbed in the back by people I placed too much trust in.

+ Which leads up to a comment I’d made in my second post, which turned into some seriously miscontrued bullshit:

I’d rather be in a relationship with a Doll, rather than be in one with a real woman who’s possibly lying to meet her own ends. I’m sure that’s got the feminists here chomping at the bit, but as I’d said, I’m not misogynist; I just don’t like liars, especially when love is involved. Being with a Doll eliminates that possibility.

Of course, they read that as ‘Davecat thinks all women are liars’. Frankly, I think 99% of the population, male or female, are liars, with a few notable exceptions. I was saying that it concerns me more that a) the few dating experiences I’ve had were with a couple of liars, most notably my interactions with the Slag, and b) it’s going to affect me more if a woman that I’m interested in is lying, cos I don’t date men. But being psychotic, they added 2 with 2 and arrived at 22.

+ I’m sorry, but if you are taking a paragraph, reducing it to its component sentences, and then chopping the sentences up to infinitesmally small thoughts that you don’t even fully comprehend, as you’re making presumptions to begin with, that is also a problem. People, especially high-minded individuals who consider themselves socially aware intellectuals, should know that sometimes the context of printed articles gets distorted. I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with Meghan’s article — it’s brilliantly composed, and I’m glad it was written — but part of the problem with the pandagon shits, and really, the other blogs ragging on me, is that the Salon.com edit is inferior to the original version. But everyone’s seen the Salon.com version, and as Salon doesn’t mention the existence of the original story, that’s all these people have to go on. Not only that, but as far as pandagon, most people didn’t read past the first page of the story, and quite a few people didn’t read it at all.

+ Brief thing: it’s great how they have a problem with me referring to Shi-chan as ‘she’ and not ‘it’. Is it just me, or wouldn’t referring to a female-shaped object that I’m intimate with as an ‘it’ be more offensive and sexist and dehumanising, than if I didn’t?
To the uninitiated, seeing the elaborate personality and backstory I’ve created for Sidore might seem weird at best, and creepy at worst. To be an iDollator, you do have to have your tongue planted in your cheek. Dolls are silicone receptacles that the more inventive of us choose to use as physical bodies for personalities. It’s called having fun. Yes, Sidore is not a ‘real person’; yes, she is a Doll, but giving her a personality is more of a ‘human’ thing to do, rather than seeing an expensive, beautifully-sculpted work of art as just a ‘fucktoy’.

+ Funny thing: In a phone conversation this Sunday past, Meghan pointed out that both of us had posted, and yet no-one actually asked us anything. Think about that. Both the writer and one of the main subjects of the story were there, and yet no-one actually asked us anything. Well, I take that back; one or two people asked Meghan a question, but all I received were sarky comments. That just solidifies everything as far as the mentality of people like that; the whole ‘it’s wrong because it’s wrong’, or ‘it’s wrong because I said so’, or ‘it’s wrong because it’s a lot easier for me to insult someone than to open my tiny fucking mind to questions that might shatter my fragile ideals’. It’s ironic and a little unsettling to me because those people are ‘liberals’. They’re theoretically supposed to be on my side.
Really, normal feminists I have nothing wrong with. I honestly believe that a lot of the reasons why society is as bollocked up as it is is because there’s been a male stranglehold on it for hundreds of years. But you’re a radical feminist, you say? O! You’re fucked up. You’re a bitter, scowling, sexually frustrated, morally confused, fucked up person. You are no better than the right-wing Republicans which you loathe, you are simply the opposite side of the coin. It’s like SafeT said, people like that drain any and all credibility from normal feminists and their sympathisers.

+ And as I, and a couple of other posters had attempted to convey (surprisingly, there were a couple of people on my side. Actually, it was more like Meghan, and a friend of hers were defending me there, and there were two or three people who were leaning towards my side): why is it such a monumental issue that some people have a Synthetik companion to begin with? Female detractors will say ‘You’re creepy, and I wouldn’t want anything to do with you’. To a Doll husband, not only is that not in any way a loss, but anybody who would say anything like that is the kind of individual that we would take pains to avoid — romantically, in a day-to-day context, whatever. It’s a sign of over-inflated self-importance that a person would say something like that, as well as a striking indicator of closed-mindedness. Personally speaking, the more closed-minded you are, the less I’m going to think of you.

At this point, I think that pretty much covers the lot. ‘Your friends don’t need an explanation, and your enemies won’t believe you anyway.’ But I do want to leave you with a link to a very beautiful post, written by one of my dearest friends, Penda. You know, my closest female friend that I’ve known for 25 years, which is quite remarkable for a misogynist like myself. With her personal perspective, she brings across in her eloquent way a more condensed version of what I’ve just written here. So go read that instead. 🙂

All done!

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

On outbursts / In the style of the White Rabbit on November 23rd, 2006

Telephone or megaphone? on February 26th, 2007

18 have spoken to “Off my chest, onto your monitor”

  1. Penda writes:

    Feel better now, doncha?

  2. Davecat writes:

    Yes, of course yes, very much so yes. 🙂

  3. PBShelley writes:

    That was beautifully put, Davecat, and said better than I could have myself. But that’s normal.

    My stomach is still not done convulsing after reading that tripe on Pandagon. You and I are thinking on the same wavelengths, because the points I would have made you covered so aptly.
    Thanks for sparing me more typing!

    BTW, thank you also for referring to Penda’s site, I left a comment there as well. I’m so happy that you have her for a friend. It’s good that you have someone there to talk to. Better we don’t ask Sidore what she thinks. I know what Lily thinks however, and it’s fairly unprintable LOL
    She sends hugs and sweet kisses to both of you and Penda too, and couldn’t give a toss what these twits think. Their language and cave-like mentality is shameful, and you have proved yourself heads-and-shoulders above them in typical dignity and grace.
    Have I said that already? Well, I said it again then!

    HM! Oddly enough, I see that Pandagon has more referral’s than “Hello Dolly”!!
    Pfft. Perverts.

    Anyway, love to the three of you 🙂

    PBS & Lily

  4. Zip Gun writes:

    As we well know, people are frightened of that which is different, and challenges their established notions of normal and abnormal. Of course, it didn’t stop droves of them from checking out Sidore’s site, did it? And the less said about some of those over-heated women (or should I say womyn?), the better. I guess even so-called liberals need someone they can jump on when they get the chance. If we knew how many of those upstanding folk had kinks they weren’t copping to, I’m sure it would have been a more interesting affair. Most of them deserve an everlasting slide show of Tub Girl’s Greatest Shits.

  5. Davecat writes:

    Zip Gun
    Heh, Mademoiselle Tub is probably too good for them..
    Yeah, it’s funny how they’re ‘Ew, misogynist, ew,’ and yet a good portion of them were actively being lookie-loos and hitting ‘KWAW!’. Sure, anything on the Interbutt is fair game, but there’s a difference between curious observation, and slack-jawed gawking.

    And I’d agree that there’s probably a minority of those types that don’t have a couple of skeletons in their closet. Neurosis is one of the things that makes us human, after all, and they’re certainly, and unfortunately, no different..

  6. Davecat writes:

    PBS and Lilytron 3000 –
    O, you don’t want to know what Shi-chan thought of the whole bullshit parade. She’s undoubtedly neck-and-neck with Lily as far as righteous silicone indignation! I had to make her promise not to mention it in extant when her site goes back up. 😉

    Glad you enjoyed Penda’s post (and site). As stated previously, we’ve known each other for a quarter of a decade (which, every time I think of that, makes me realise how bloody old I actually am). I love her deeply, and she’s always been like the sister I’ve never had. She’s so wonderful, it’s not even true. Plus, she can put up with my personality, which is a definite plus. 😉

    Thanx to both you and lovely Lily for your continued, and highly valued, support. I know I’ve said that before, but it’s still valid, y’know. 🙂 Much love to you and yours!

  7. nm writes:

    You’re an embarassment to black folks everywhere!

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/wapanese

    “Wapanese” are decidedly caucasian individuals who, by means of thoroughly warped postmodern acculturation processes, have come to the decision that it is in their best interest to act as if they were denizens of the nation of Japan. The term “wapanese” can be accurately though of as an analog to wigger. A whitey can be classified as a “Wapanese” if they are in possession of two or more of the following defining traits:

    1. Has an unhealthy obsession with shallow, saccharine and intellectually insulting animation shows (also refered to as anime by the nerd elite) originally tailored for young Japanese children

    2. Operates under the erroneous belief that every aspect of American culture is vastly inferior to that of Japan’s – even though 99.9% of Wapanese have never had firsthand experience of any sort with their preferred culture (in other words, they’ve never set so much as one foot upon the island(s) of Japan)

    3. Halfheartedly studies Japanese language and/or is a part-time practitioner of martial arts

    4. Has a sword (samurai swords only, of course) collection

    5. Is a Virgin

    6. May be afflicted with a terminal case of yellow fever; however, they constantly fail in their quest for Japanese pootytang

    7. Extreme cases may traipse around whilst wearing a “costume” that makes them resemble their favorite anime characters (this practice is reffered to as cosplay; cross-dressing and raging homosexuality is not an uncommon component of cosplay.

    Interestingly, Wapanese are generally though of as “failures” and rejects within their own culture. Social scientists such as myself speculate that it was their failure to gain acceptance within their own culture than has lead many a white geek to seek out Japan’s culture as a surrogate; however, they’d be shattered to know that the insular and somewhat racist Japanese society would be even less accepting of them than the people of their true and native culture.

    Wapanese munch on imported Pocky and wash it down with a bottle of Pocari Sweat.

  8. veach writes:

    After reading your articulate article (and Penda’s) and reading some of the falderol from sites referencing the Salon piece, I feel ashamed of the majority of the human race.

    Ashamed? you ask. Yes.

    The same way I feel when I see any person talk or act in a bigoted, or merely in an ignorant-because-my-parents-were-blissfuly-stupid-themselves kind-of-way. That: “I’m allowed to be as fucked up as I am because my daddy was, and him’s daddy afore him.”

    The same way I feel when I read or hear anyone speak or write about why they think homosexual-marriage should be illegal.

    Although, possibly–coming from me–not the same as if it were coming from some hucklebubba; I apologize for the ignorance of the men and women who, like me, are not inclined to be room-mates with an android but, unlike me, are too shallow to respect and honor the differences of others and, instead, think it’s perfectly acceptable to throw stones in the glass houses of the internets.

    It may not be my place to apologize for the words of others, but, I felt someone needed to do it.

  9. Davecat writes:

    Veach –
    You have nothing to be sorry about! People like that not only supply their own ignorance and stupidity in bulk, but choose to wallow in it. Everyone of some sort needs a whipping boy so they can make themselves feel better about their own pathetic existence. In this instance, I’m their whipping boy du jour, but the’re still pathetic. *shrug* What are ya gonna do..
    And speaking of pathetic..

    nm –
    Hey cunt, I’m awfully sorry I don’t live up to your standards. I’m an embarrasment to black people everywhere? Frankly, I could give less of a shit, especially if you are the self-styled representative of them. Sorry, ‘us’. Heh.
    Go kill yourself, cunt. Stop wasting my fucking time.

  10. Zip Gun writes:

    No no, say , it’s cooler.

  11. Zip Gun writes:

    Dammit, it was supposed to read “No no, say open bracket/yourself>, it’s cooler” but this silly thing ate it. AIIIIEEEE NOOO

  12. Davecat writes:

    ‘End yourself’!!
    AH HAHAHAHAHA
    The one time that would’ve been perfect! Shit. O well, we know what you mean..

  13. PBShelley writes:

    Wow. Reading veach’s very thoughtful post right after the fool of a rascist (nice as I can be about it) blathering before him was like drinking a delicious aperitif following being force-fed vomit. I figured that some of the rube idiots would follow you here, but to blantantly expose their stupidity to others is unbelievable.

    Oh, wait…

    That’s what they do LOL

    I would have to say that that nm person is simply a Troll; no one could be that ignorant and still know how to spell, let alone find their way out of the backwoods.

    Oh: And “social scientists such as myself”??? I hadn’t snorted with such derision since reading the Site That Shall Not Be Named illiteratti spewing forth their venom!

    And thank you Vaech, that was sweet of you 😉

    PBS & Lily

  14. SafeTinspector writes:

    As if nm will be checking back in to see the reaction to her vitriol:
    Enjoying Japanese media isn’t the same thing as idolizing it. I like Irish literature, but that doesn’t mean I think Irish society is some sort of damn utopia.
    I suppose there’s people out there that actually want to be Japanese or find the Japanese culture to be a far better form than our own.
    I think most, however, know that Japanese society
    A:Is actually less tolerant of diversity than our own.
    B:Treats women like expensive toys.
    C:Could ONLY happen in a culturally homogenous population such as that which occurs on the island of Nippon. Witness the treatment of the Korean minority in their midst and you can see they have nothing on us in this regard.

    That said, their artistic output is alternatingly breathtaking and silly beyond belief. This is to be appreciated!

  15. Zip Gun writes:

    Well, you can buy t-shirts from reputable anime dealers like Right Stuf that read in Japanese “I want a Japanese girlfriend” and there’s another for boyfriend. I always found those freakish in the extreme and they seem certain to drive away any shot of gaining said significant other.

  16. Davecat writes:

    Yeah, there’s something to be said about recognising that you’re a geek about something, but wearing one of those shirts, or injecting ‘kawaii!’ into everyday conversation.. that’s something you want to rise above. “Bob” knows there’s nothing wrong with being into anime or Japanese culture at all, but there’s lines to be drawn, and otaku make people who are into various aspects of Japanese culture look bad.

    ‘It’s not the band I hate, it’s their fans’

  17. Doctress Julia writes:

    Wow, Davecat. Some (read: most) people are real assholes. Well, fuck ’em. ;D

  18. Davecat writes:

    Heh, I totally can’t argue with you. 🙂

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