You just can’t spell-check a truck

typed for your pleasure on 22 October 2009, at 4.05 am

Sdtrk: ‘Kinetic harvest’ by Module

In urban areas, it’s not unusual to encounter hand-lettered adverts that turn their nose up so much at the conventions of normal spelling, that they border on folk art. This ice cream truck, which I’d photographed while driving home one day, would fall under that category.
As an aside, I’d like to point out that I shot this pic with my cellphone whilst driving alongside the truck, which is a fact that I’m needlessly impressed with…

Nothing wrong with the Cones, Sundaes, and Banana Boats that they have on offer, but Nacho? And Shackes?? ‘No no, we can only sell you a single nacho; any more than that would spoil you’. And a Shacke is a new invention; it’s a wee bit like a shake, a wee bit like a shack, a wee bit like a shackle, and a wee bit like Shaq. They have many in their truck, but by law they can only sell you one; any more would spoil you

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300,000 hits?? You must be joking

typed for your pleasure on 18 September 2009, at 10.15 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Sm head, Lg torso; crushing grip’ by Dymaxion

Huh! Well, you lot have earned a non-sequitur picture as a reward!

Thanks very much to all who have visited; do please come back soon! Or, to make it even simpler, don’t leave! That way, you won’t lose your parking space!

EDIT (21 SEPT): Somewhat related, mostly demented! ‘You got your Colonel Sanders in my EVA 01!’ ‘You got your EVA 01 in my Colonel Sanders!’ &c.

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HELLO I AM BACK

typed for your pleasure on 13 September 2009, at 2.14 am

Sdtrk: ‘Falling for you’ by The Soundcarriers

Ah, good! It’s nice to be back, and nicer still to see that you lot haven’t set the place ablaze in my absence! Although I see our liquor cabinet’s been broken into, and all our absinthe is gone. That figures.

So what have I been doing during my Official Excuse for Not Writing Period? Well, attempting to take it easy, really. I caught up on a few Emails, which may not sound like anything significant, but anyone that knows me knows that my missives tends toward freight trains of paragraphs, with periodic months in between responses, so it was nice to polish some of those off and get them to their intended recipients. After having to reintroduce myself, that is. No, seriously. ‘Hi, remember me? You wrote me last year, and now I’m writing you back?’ *shaking head* Man.

Also, I contracted pleurisy! Which is a heresy. I got it from Morrissey! Alright, I’m done. But yes, I did indeed get it, which is frankly ridiculous, as far as I’m concerned. I mean, how Dickensian can you get? Although I did know two people that once contracted shingles, and one of my best friend’s past landlords apparently came down with gangrene, so I’m merely contributing to the Revival of Olde-Tyme Ailments and Maladies. Much to my chagrin.
The upper part of my lungs were somewhat sore for over a week, so I went in to my doctor’s office to be seen to. Unfortunately, my doctor was on holiday, the tosser, so I was shunted over to the other doctor that shares his office, whose curt manner left a little to be desired. She called for bloodwork, chest X-rays, and an EEG, which is the most activity I’ve ever experienced at my GP’s office — usually it’s just ‘stand on this scale, roll up your sleeve, breathe in, breathe out, here’s a script, GET OUT’. She did, however, prescribe me some Zithromax, and gave me an inhaler to use. Weeks later, I’m still making use of those, as I’m still fighting this sumbitch. Ergh.
Pleurisy, if you’re not familiar with it, in which case you should be grateful, is ‘an inflammation of the pleura, which is the moist, double-layered membrane that surrounds the lungs and lines the rib cage,‘ as WebMD says. It’s usually caused by bacterial infection. Of course, that has me wondering where and how the hell I got infected, as I’m one of the neatest freaks in Christendom. In lieu of a definitive answer, I shall blame my workplace, as it’s never brought me anything good.

Actually, no, I take that back; work has brought me exactly one good thing! Well, ish. Since there’s now a ban on bringing in books — I refuse to comment on that, cos you already know what my answer would be — they gave out company-branded notebooks made from recycled paper. Each one came complete with a pen, and a cloth loop to hold said pen, which was actually kinda cool. As I’ve been arbitrarily herded over to a different section, I’m surrounded by coworkers that I’ve never seen before, which means they’ve never seen me before. I tend to hide and keep to myself when I’m there, if you can believe that. But on two separate occasions, I’ve had coworkers, upon viewing me scribbling in my company-approved notebook, ask me if I was writing poetry. Poetry? Also, there was one lass who’d asked me if I was writing raps. Raps‽ Do I look like a rappist??* Well, I suppose if that’s the only reference point for music that you possess… no, wait, that still doesn’t make any damned sense!
So since there’s a ban on reading, and a ban on using cellphones, I spend my workdays writing posts or letters, and being made aware of two things:
1) Paper slows me down, and
2) My handwriting is a collision of indecipherable glyphs. Huh.
*tears out sheet, wads it up*

Apparently, BBC America aired ‘Love me, love my Doll’ again on the 22nd of August. I recall that evening I was poking round my blog’s Dashboard and checking its stats, as per usual, when I’d noticed that at one point, there were like ten people looking at ‘Shouting etc etc’ simultaneously! As I’m always the last to know whenever the BBC America programme directors decide to trot that documentary out again, I was wondering what forum / site was linking to me and making disparaging comments and snide remarks this time. It was all good, as the kids say, though. It’ll just be nice once the National Geographic documentary airs, as it won’t be so… dated. And no, I don’t have a date for it yet; I could tell you were getting ready to ask.
Coincidentally enough, I was spotted, thanks to ‘Love me, love my Doll’, at one of the stores I frequent! As I was making my purchases, some random lass stopped me and said I looked familiar.
SOME LASS: ‘Were you on television?’
ME: ‘Perhaps I was!’
SOME LASS: ‘Yeah, you were on that documentary with the Dolls, weren’t you! I thought you looked familiar!’
ME: ‘Yeah, that was me. My partner and I have been together for about nine years.’
SOME LASS: ‘That was really… interesting. How much do they cost, $10,000?’
CLERK: ‘You were on TV? What kind of show was it?’
ME: ‘Noooo, they’re only about $7000! (to clerk) It was a show about artificial humans.’
CLERK (takes my wrist, squeezes it): ‘Are you real?’
followed by hearty chuckling from all parties involved. You’ll note how I didn’t answer the clerk’s question, though. *winks*

Finally, if you cast your gaze to the lefthand sidebar, just below that ‘Today’s Kanji’ widget that remains largely ignored, you’ll spot a new addition to that particular area: my Amazon.com wish list. It’s rather large; you can’t miss it. Compiled over the course of seven years of wishful thinking, it’s a great way to click on and shop for things that interest me that might well interest you. It’s also a great way to discover what I’d like for a gift, and to buy it for me! Cos really, when it comes down to it, I ain’t too proud to beg.

And that brings us, roughly, up to now. Expect more posts soon!
So how are you, then?

*I don’t call them ‘rappers’, I call them ‘rappists’, as rap rapes my ears. I’m fairly certain you’ll agree

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Ceci n’est pas une pipe: a July 4th reflection

typed for your pleasure on 4 July 2009, at 11.00 am

Sdtrk: ‘Buggy whip flings’ by The Hafler trio

When you see the above photo, what do you believe you’re looking at? A flag, right? But if you consider for a moment, you’re not seeing a flag, you’re looking at a flag of a flag — a flag with an image of the flag of the United States on it. Furthermore, you’re actually staring at a picture of a flag of a flag, not the flag of a flag itself. And to add a final layer, the above image isn’t even the original one I took with my phone; it’s a screenshot that I made when I was cropping and resizing it. So in essence, this is a picture of a picture of a flag of a flag.

Literal interpretation meets limited recursion. Whoever came up with the series of ‘YO DAWG I HERD U LIKE‘ Xzibit jokes has this to thank

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A pleasant non-sequitur!

typed for your pleasure on 21 June 2009, at 11.50 am

Sdtrk: ‘A benção bahia’ by Toquinho

My enlightening report on our recent film crew interactions goes up Monday. In the meantime, Happy Summer Solstice!

Germany 1970. The German moderator discuss in the beginning how boring and lame the official looks are and that the fashion and color designers came up with the following outfits to make the game more interesting and colorful. They explain very detailed the colors since at the point many did not have color tv!
Clearly they made my day with the ideas. I just keep cracking up! I have no clue why they dance so madly. latin music dancing models with soccer fashion without shoes. but even Guenther thinks that the trikot needs an update as a service and entertainment for the fans who watch soccer games

Category: Comedy

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Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat? (May 09)

typed for your pleasure on 8 May 2009, at 1.02 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Who can say’ by The horrors

Nope! But instead, there is this, which is a genuine news article.

Whitstable mum in custard shortage
This is Kent.co.uk | Published Wednesday, March 25, 2009, 19:42

A MUM of three is dis-custard after a hunt for the dessert sauce in the town proved fruitless.

Keen baker Jules Serkin, 43, of West Cliff, Whitstable, needed a tin of custard powder to top off her apple and blackcurrant crumble.

But she was left with a sour taste in her mouth after getting no joy in either Co-ops at Oxford Street and Canterbury Road, and in Somerfield, in the High Street.

Even a trek to Tankerton’s Tesco Express – a corner shop version of its superstores – was wasted.

“I try to support my local businesses, but in the end I had to resort to going to one of the big supermarkets to get what I needed,” said Jules, a holiday rental company director.

“I feel very sad that I can’t seem to get basic stuff from my high street, and am driven to go online.

“Custard is a staple product on my shopping list and I cannot understand why it should be so hard to find.

“An assistant in Somerfield said they’d had other shoppers asking for tins of custard, but it hadn’t been in stock since the shop was refurbished.

“And in the Co-ops I was just greeted with an empty shelf where it should be, and no idea when they might be getting it in.

“I am upset because it seems these shops cannot order a product that customers are demanding as it doesn’t seem to fit in with what they are selling.

“I had to resort to buying sachets which cost only a few pence less than a tin, and don’t go very far at all. If I buy a tin, it goes in my pantry and will last me quite a few crumbles.

“I’m making an apple and blackcurrant crumble and, as I am trying to eat healthily can control what I put into the custard, like skimmed milk.

“With the sachets, there are all sorts of ingredients and additives – and you just add water to make it.

“It’s very convenient, but not as good as the real thing. Custard should be a lovely comfort, nice and thick.”
the rest of the article is here

I suppose even the best news outlets can have slow news days. Fortunately, I wouldn’t know anything about that!
I should clarify here: I meant I don’t know anything about being a ‘best news outlet’.

Sorry! Hopefully something will arise soon before the month is out. In the meantime, have a pic of a lovely lass by the late-lamented Chestnut co. Ltd. of Japan to tide you over, cos that’s the exact sort of thing you’d expect from ‘Shouting etc etc’


‘Sure hope he’s got new Doll or Synthetik news posted… wait, what the hell is all this crap about custard??’

Technorati tags: Whitstable, Kent, custard, panic

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Food, arguably

typed for your pleasure on 22 April 2009, at 12.13 am

Sdtrk: ‘Electro gypsy’ by Savlonic

Last Tuesday evening, I stopped round to my local Arby’s, for one of their fine sandwiches of roasted beef (or approximate), and to go along with that, I’d ordered a thing of potato cakes. What’s the proper term for a container of potato cakes, anyway — is it a portion? A silo? A duet? A murder? ‘Err, I’d like a murder of potato cakes, please?’
Following that, I arrived round at goshou’s, for Tokusatsu Tuesday. That’s when Zip Gun, Dave Z and I converge in goshou’s basement, for four hours of tokusatsu telly viewing (usually something Kamen rider-based — we’re currently working our way through the latest series, Kamen rider Decade), followed by some anime occasionally, and we usually cap off the eve with a brief fling with Earth Defence Force 2017, as those giant ants and giant robots aren’t going to kill themselves. Which, all told, would make for a rather bizarre gaming experience.

Anyway! I’d showed up with my Arby’s sammich, plus a cold Gatorade in tow. It was after I’d sat down that I noticed a large dark stain on my bag of food. ‘Huh, my drink sweating must’ve gotten the bag moist, there,’ I’d pointed out. Goshou spotted it, too; ‘No dude, that’s grease from something.’ As it turned out, it was seeping from one of my potato cakes! You probably could’ve wrung the bastard out, it was that saturated. Needless to say, it left a lasting impression, wink wink.


The grease had literally turned the bag translucent for a while

Then I saw this on the side of the bag. It was at that point that I started laughing, and couldn’t stop:


Irony never dies, baby

Kinda makes me reassess my idea of the SoGo NoGo sandwich!
In conclusion: eat more sushi

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