Oh, (the) humanity

typed for your pleasure on 26 August 2005, at 12.00 pm

Sdtrk: ‘At night’ by the Cure

This morning, I was awakened by my bloody phone ringing at sometime after 8.30am. I lurched out of bed, saw it was a number that I didn’t recognise, and switched the ringer off. Roughly three minutes later, I hear the beep that indicates that someone’s left a message, and I’m thinking, ‘who in fuck’s left me a three minute message??’ So I got out of bed again in order to check who it was, and it turned out to be D_____, a lass that was the receptionist at my last job who I was half-heartedly attempting to chat up. She was going on at length about how she’s just moved her computer into her new place with her current boyfriend, and they got into it this morning, as he had checked her AOL Inbox, and discovered, to his chagrin, several names of males that were not his own. Yeah, he’s one of those lovely, aggressively insecure types of blokes — he’s a cop, which pretty much says it all right there. D_____ had left a message wanting to know how exactly she could make sure she got rid of, or at least hide, any and all Emails from her other guy friends that she’d received, as well as pictures; as one time, I had gotten round to her old place and taken photos of her feet — yes, I’m a foot fetishist, we’ve covered this — and Emailed them back to her. He had asked who took them, and D_____ panicked and said some coworker had taken them, and when I rung her back at work, she said that he was probably going through her AOL account as we spoke. In short, the Gestapo was paying her a visit, and she wanted to know how best to effectively hide the Jews in her cupboards. I honestly don’t know how that analogy came about, but it’s making me giggle.

Basically, I’m sat here shaking my head. Why is it that people get into relationships, and knowingly stay in them, with fuckwits? I’m telling her, ‘well, D_____, if he won’t let you send and receive Emails from any one of your male friends, or he won’t let you give out your cellphone number to any one of your male friends, or if he won’t let you hang out with your male friends — in many cases, blokes you’ve known before you even met your prick of a boyfriend — then maaaybe that’s not the sort of relationship you want to be in?’ She’s saying that the arguments with him are stressing her out, which was audibly apparent in speaking with her the last couple of times after I was fired. I suggested that I take her out to dinner for a stress-free evening, but she claimed it would be difficult, if not impossible, to get away for any length of time, as she heads straight from work to pick her boyfriend’s son up from school, whereupon she heads back to her place and spends the rest of the eve with her prick of a boyfriend. D_____ apparently can’t leave her relationship, cos from what I see, she’s like thousands upon thousands of people who have a driving need to be with someone — anyone — even if that person has a couple of faults, such as being a suspicious little shit.

Now, I speak with some experience, as to some extent, that’s the way things were with my and my former housemate, the Slag. I was going to my job, being depressed there, coming home, having to drive her silly arse out to her stripper job or whatever cos she couldn’t drive, then hours later, having to get out of bed and leave a sound sleep behind in order to pick her up from said job, and then she would invariably chew me out because of something I did or didn’t do, either in real life, or solely in her deranged hallucinatory mind. I’m a person who believes that a home should not be a stressful place; it should be someplace where you can get away from virtually everything. After speaking to all manner of cunts from various states on the phone for seven hours, home should be a place where I really shouldn’t have to speak to anyone, if I choose not to. So one day, after of culmination of events that I’ll have to explain at a later date (that’s for the rest of the ‘I am not making this up‘ series, which I swear I’ll finish one day), I simply packed up my belongings and left. Good job on that as well, as it’s done loads for my sanity and well-being.
That caustic series of months where I lived with that so-called person pretty much solidified the fact that I can’t live with anyone. If they’re a friend before I lived with them, they turn into something entirely and negatively Other. Living by oneself, as I’ve said before, allows a person to actually develop their interests in their own time. It permits them to relax, and not be ‘on’ all the time. Most importantly, it allows them to see and do what they want, with whom they want, without having to field awkward and unnecessary questions from their roommate or partner. That’s one of the many reasons that I enjoy the company of my RealDoll Sidore. Rampant iDollatry aside, a Doll doesn’t care if you’ve had partners in the past, a Doll doesn’t care if you come home four hours later than you said you would, etc etc. It’s my goal to eliminate as much stress from my life as I possibly can, and being in the sort of relationship I’m currently in works toward that goal.

I don’t want to give the impression that I’m writing this in the spirit of ‘ha ha, I’m better off than you are’, cos I’m not. I just completely and utterly fail to understand why people will put up with that sort of behaviour. It could be argued that there are a few advantages being in one-half of a relationship — doubled income; constant, relentless, non-stop companionship — but if you have to compromise your personal freedoms, then none of it’s worth it. Society dictates that to be ‘successful’ and ‘happy’, you should be in a traditional relationship, but the way I see it, just because society says it’s a good idea, then it most likely isn’t

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So long, Bob

typed for your pleasure on 22 August 2005, at 1.06 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Beethoviana’ by Wendy Carlos

from the ‘No good’ files: Robert Moog, pioneer of the modular analogue synthesiser that bears his name, passed away yesterday.

Bob’s Body Leaves Us

ASHEVILLE, N.C. — August 21, 2005 — Bob died this afternoon at his home in Asheville, N.C. He was 71. Bob was diagnosed with brain cancer (glioblastoma multiforme or GBM) in late April 2005. He had received both radiation treatment and chemotherapy to help combat the disease. He is survived by his wife, Ileana, his five children, Laura Moog Lanier, Matthew Moog, Michelle Moog-Koussa, Renee Moog, and Miranda Richmond; and the mother of his children, Shirleigh Moog.

Bob was warm and outgoing. He enjoyed meeting people from all over the world. He especially appreciated what Ileana referred to as “the magical connection” between music-makers and their instruments.

It goes without saying that Bob Moog changed the shape of music for the better. He will definitely be missed, but his legacy will live on

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This was Glorious Future, Vol.15

typed for your pleasure on 15 August 2005, at 1.21 pm

Sdtrk: something stirring and Communist

I’m sure you all recall that post I did months ago concerning the monstrous Ryugyong Hotel over in South Korea, right? Thanx to a tip from a mate of mine, I bring you the Soviet equivalent, aptly named ‘House of the Soviets‘. Going by the size of this place, the Soviets must be giants.

The House of the Soviets, begun in 1972, was never completed. The massive hulk now looms over the town like something out of a postapocalyptic movie, surrounded by decaying staircases and a plaza of four-foot high grass. Residents refer to it simply as “the Monster.” [..] At present there are no plans to do anything with it at all. “The authorities have decided it will be cheaper to let it decay on its own than to tear it down,” explained Olga Danilova, who shows tourists around. Only vagrants and drug addicts make use of the facility.
taken from this site

The story behind the House of the Soviets, or Dom Sovietov, isn’t exactly cheerful. During 1945, the German city Königsberg was awarded to the Soviet Union by the Allies. The USSR saw the city’s German heritage as a supposedly dangerous symbol of fascism, and they decided to pretty much level the town, and build a glorious new Socialist one called Kaliningrad in its place. In 1968, despite protests, one of the many buildings destroyed was Königsberg Castle, and in its place Dom Sovietov was erected, which was to be the central building of Kaliningrad.
Unfortunately, the construction teams really didn’t do their homework, as the 13th century Königsberg Castle had a network of tunnels beneath it. Consequently, Dom Sovietov is — you guessed it — structurally unsound, empty, and collapsing a little bit each day.

A lot of people have derided House of the Soviets due to its.. giant ugly brickness, but I think that’s why I like it. It reminds me a wee bit of Trellick Tower, and that whole heavy-handed pseudo-futuristic New Brutalism wave that quite a few designers were riding during the Sixties. But for Soviet Russia, it wasn’t New Brutalism, it was just plain ol’ Brutalism, cos Dom Sovietov is a fairly good example of how a lot of Soviet-era buildings look. I am Building, comrade, it says, I will stand firm against threat of Capitalist oppression. I am sturdy and thick, like good Communist woman. Or something.

On a positive note, archaeological teams are attempting to unearth and preserve what remains of Königsberg Castle. Hopefully Russia won’t make the same mistake twice, and they’ll choose to preserve House of the Soviets as well

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Multipoint non-point

typed for your pleasure on 13 August 2005, at 5.12 pm

Sdtrk: ‘C’est la mort’ by Stereo total

New items and articles relevant to your interest:

+ 20 Sept is the release date in the States for ‘Tender buttons’, the new Cd by Broadcast. I’ve heard a couple of the tracks, and despite the fact that the band is essentially down to a two-piece, what I’ve heard so far is quite ace. And they’re visiting Detroit again on 5 Nov!

+ Stereolab has three singles due out on 12 Sept: ‘Kybernetická babička’, ‘Interlock’, and ‘Plastic mile’. Three singles released on the same day?? Unpossible!

+ I’m carefully watching another Stylophone on eBaaah. Details to follow after the bidding is closed, cos I don’t want anyone else bidding on it, damnit

+ Lord knows I love the microcars. Apart from the smartcar, which is illegal to drive in the States, Brazil is throwing their hat into the ring with the Obvio ! (exclamation mark theirs). The 828/2 isn’t bad, despite its hallucinatory colour scheme, but that black-and-silver 012 is sexay. Undoubtedly, these will be illegal to drive in the States as well

+ And an inflatable church?? Yes.

Right, that’s the lot! Well, that’s all I can think of for now, at any rate

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What d’ya mean, ‘not big enough’?

typed for your pleasure on 11 August 2005, at 1.58 am

Sdtrk: ‘Out out out’ by NON

File this under ‘Things That One Only Finds in Japan’. Behold: the art truck phenomena.

As you probably suspect, finding decent info about art trucks (or, as they’re also known, ‘deko-tora’, short for ‘decoration truck’) in English is uncommonly difficult, but from what I gather, they’re simply trucks used for shipping that just happen to be heavily customised by their owners. Like those who ‘rice out’ or ‘dub’ their Asian-made sports cars, they’re for showing off, but unlike sports cars, art trucks are still used for actual freight and utility purposes. It apparently started in the 70s, spawning a couple of films starring Bunta Sugawara of ‘The Yakuza papers‘ fame, and recently a game for the PS2 was made, called ‘Shin Dekotora densetsu’ (‘New Decoration truck Legend’).

Pretty decorative, pretty crazy.

Yep, art trucks.
So, like, do they hand-polish these feckers, or what?

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Stars in their Eyes, Part II

typed for your pleasure on 5 August 2005, at 1.58 am

Sdtrk: ‘Fun city’ by Soft cell

(Before commencing with this part, have you read the previous section first? It’ll make more sense that way, trust me.)

MONDAY, 01 AUGUST
Since we’d be starting the day’s filming at 10am, once again, Shi-chan and I got up at 7am for preparation’s sake; also, since I spoke with Mari before hitting the sack last night, she wanted me to swing round and pick her up at 9am. Shi-chan wore the same gear as yesterday, with the exception of her black O-ring collar, and I switched to a white shirt (so we’d both have on white tops and black bottoms), a slim grey tie, and my Chuck Taylor trainers.

After prepping the Missus, I motored out to Mari’s place at a little after 9am. Now, the house where she lives has a bit of a problem, in the fact that her doorbell doesn’t work, and she’s in a room at the bipolar opposite of the main entrance. So in short, if she’s asleep, knocking doesn’t do any damn good. I rang her a couple of times from my car, as a large black dog happened to be wandering round loose next door, with no answer. As the clock was ticking, I ended up driving away at 10.25, letting Allison and Grant know that I’d be a little late.
As an aside, it turns out that yesterday we’d really lucked out with the weather, as it reached the upper 80s round 10am, with a high of something like 89°. Good thing we’d be inside for the majority of the filming today..
Having gotten home, and after leaving a message on Mari’s voicemail that I’d call her back before we hit Nippon kai, Allison and Grant appeared round 11am. They were more well-rested than before, and Allison was sporting a t-shirt that read ‘ACTION FIGURE’ across the front. ‘That would look good on the Missus’, I quipped. ‘I picked this up from a thrift store, but when it’s outlived its usefulness to me, I’ll send it to you,’ she responded. We’re holding you to that! 🙂

As our reservation at Nippon kai wasn’t until 1pm, our first objective stop on today’s agenda was to ostensibly film me wandering round an intimate boutique, picking out stuff for Shi-chan, so I suggested Priscilla’s over on Woodward. The three of us went up to the counter, and Allison explained the situation to the clerk, and asked if they could film me for a couple of minutes. The clerk, a short, slightly chunky blonde with apple cheeks, said that she’d have to call the district manager. After a two minute call, she said that the manager said no, so our raiding party schlepped on out of there. However, Grant did get some footage of me gazing at the Mannequins in the window. (NOTE TO PRISCILLA’S STAFFERS: Your Mannequins are in shoddy condition — get them refurbished.)
I’d suggested that we try over at a Lover’s Lane, another intimate boutique chain, but we reasoned that we might very well run up against the same wall there as we did with Priscilla’s. Then it occurred to me that we should give “Brown bag it” in Clawson a go, as not only are they independently owned, but they’ve been round much longer than either of the aforementioned chain stores, and I’m sure they’d appreciate the publicity/business. So we headed to “Brown bag it” (the quotation marks are apparently part of the name; don’t ask me why) and entered, waiting patiently to speak with the 60-year-old female clerk on the phone. As it turned out, we were rejected there as well. The clerk said that as a matter of fact, the store owner was the person she was just on the phone with, and he wouldn’t go for publicity like that. She explained that what it basically boils down to is that the cities of Royal oak and Clawson have these draconian ordinances regarding stores selling articles of a sexual nature, and too much publicity would draw attention to “Brown bag it” and possibly get them shut down. So they’re doing a ‘hiding in plain sight’ kind of thing; their front door (which is locked; you have to enter from the rear) has an 18 and Under Prohibited statement on it, and unlike Lover’s Lane and Priscilla’s, they don’t even have window displays, just block glass and brick. So basically, we’d come up trumps again..

We still had some time, but Allison wanted some footage of me doing something I normally do, only without the presence of Shi-chan. As we were driving away from “Brown bag it”, Grant hit upon the idea of perhaps someplace anime-related. At first, I thought, ‘ah, nice one, but the only anime store I can think of is Wizzywig, which is an hour away in Ann arbor’, but it struck me – Warp 9 might be promising. So Grant swung the rental round, as Warp 9 is across the street from “Brown bag it”, oddly enough. Well, the third time was indeed a charm, as the counter clerk said it wouldn’t be a problem for us to film in the store. Rock on!
I’d never been to Warp 9 before; I’d passed it several times en route to other places, but never got round to stopping inside since they opened back in the late 90s, and I think I’m going to make a point of getting round there more often. Any place that carries not only Edward Scissorhands Kubricks, but the original Micronauts Rocket tubes is alright in my book. 🙂 Grant duly filmed me walking into the store and casting my gaze about, and Allison wanted to get me looking over a Chii figure from ‘Chobits’, and Armitage from ‘Armitage III’, as she had managed to license footage from both features.
After getting some good shots there, we made our leave, and I rung Mari to tell her that we’d be going home to obtain the Missus, after which, we’d pick her up, which we carried out. Ironically enough, Mari was to later tell me that since she thought I would knock on the livingroom window due to their non-functioning doorbell, she got a nap in on the livingroom floor. *grits teeth*

We showed up at Nippon kai round 1.30, about 30min late (our schedules were all kinds of screwed up that day, as you’ve probably sussed by now), to a crowd of five patrons at the last half of the lunch rush. One of the reasons that I love Nippon kai so much is that hardly anyone is ever there. Whenever Monti and I go for our monthly dinner dates, there’s usually never more than five or six other patrons there, and I’m talking Saturday evenings here, so I thought it would make for a perfect place for bringing Sweetie and a film crew.
After speaking with the manager / head sushi chef, and reminding him who we were, we were allowed to bring the Missus in through the backdoor into the shoji-screened private seating area in back. ‘Oh! Scary!’ was one of the comments I’d caught from one of the waitresses, but I didn’t hold it against them. In fact, it was kinda funny: after we’d gotten ourselves situated and ordered our food, one of the waitresses who recognised me as being a regular came back in with our green tea while Grant was filming.
‘What is her name?’ she asked me.
‘This is Sidore Kuroneko,’ I replied.
‘Ohh, Sidore Kuroneko,’ the waitress repeated, ‘She is your other girlfriend?’
I nodded. ‘I’m lucky.’ 🙂

Filming and eating continued as Mari and I sat on either side of the Missus at the end of the table, and Grant shot us interacting ‘normally’. Upon reflection, I don’t think I interacted enough with Sweetie, as I was concentrating on devouring my tendon (I, ah, kinda skipped brekky that morning) and helping Mari to not be so nervous on-camera. ‘Davecat is the only friend I have that I would go on-camera for’, she said. ‘You’re a good friend,’ Grant replied.
Allison asked Mari a couple of questions about how she met me and Shi-chan, and how she perceives our relationship, to which Mari said some very beautiful things, but the best part was probably before the legitimate question segment when Mari and I were speaking, and she had told me that she would’ve dressed Shi-chan differently. ‘For one, she’d be wearing more clothing.’ ‘What d’ya mean by that?’ I replied, opening Sweetie’s blouse up some more. When Allison asked what Mari meant, she said that I dress Shi-chan in the style that a guy would want her to dress, which is arguably true. It was actually pretty funny — one of those ‘you had to be there’ things — and I hope A & G manage to edit it into the finished product..

Allison had informed the head sushi chef that we’d be packing up our stuff and out of there by 3.30, as we were doing our shooting during Nippon kai’s after-lunch-before-dinner cleanup and restock time, but by the time we actually finished the Q&A segment, we ran into overtime by about 20min. Which sucked cos not only did Allison ask only about a third of the questions she’d written down, but the head sushi chef apparently had a doctor’s appointment that he had to reschedule, which none of us knew about. All of us alternately apologised and thanked him profusely, and I told him that next time Monti and I were up, we’d be ordering a large dinner. On our way out, he and the waitress who knew me (yes; next time I’m up, I’ll ask them their names) were asking me how I knew about karakuri, as that was one of the things Allison asked me to explain. They were also under the impression that I made Sidore myself! I explained that ‘a friend’ in California makes her as well as a few others, and each ningyou (Doll) costs around $6000. ‘When you come back, you can order a $6000 dinner!’ Ha ha! 😐

Yeah, Monday was definitely our ‘pressed for time’ day, but Allison said that she could probably use some of the extra footage from the cemetery shoot to make up for it. However, at that point, it was near 4pm, and we had to make some informed decisions as where to go next, as A & G had to be at Metro Airport by 6pm to catch their respective flights home. Grant decided we should probably get more location footage, and since practically everytime I mentioned Detroit either on- or off-camera it was closely followed by the phrase ‘urban decay’, they asked us where would be some good places to go film some blight. They were on the hunt for blight. Also, they never got a chance to film the Fox theatre yesterday, so they wanted to hit that as well. I suggested we take Woodward going south, as passing through Highland park would be a blight hotbed.
If we’d had more time (and if my capacity for thinking wasn’t completely destroyed from the heat), I would’ve suggested Rivertown and Chene park, but instead we commenced Blight Search ’99 over off east I-75 by Holbrook. We drove round a couple of factories and warehouses, Allison behind the wheel and Grant filming out the passenger side window, when we slowed down past the open door to some warehouse or other. A shop rat and some girl he was talking to noticed us and approached Grant’s open window with a wad of what looked like napkins in his hand, saying ‘Hey, check this out’. Then he must’ve caught sight of the Missus, cos at that point, he threw the napkins down and asked ‘What’s going on here? Who are they?’
‘They’re just people,’ Grant answered.
The shop rat turned suddenly hostile. ‘Go on, get outta here. You want me to break your $60, 000 fuckin’ camera? Get the fuck outta here.’ As Grant rolled the window up, Allison reversed the Taurus, with the shop rat peering in through the car windows all the while until we left the lot.
‘This is why I don’t go outside,’ I commented, only half-jokingly.

After our little encounter with the lower class, we managed to get some shots of parts of Hamtramck, as well as Woodward leading up to the Fox, and Elwood grill. As a final point of interest, Allison wanted to attempt filming in the semi-famous Michigan theatre, the forrmer-picture-palace-turned-car-park, so we headed there as well. It’s open for visitors, but unfortunately, we arrived an hour too late. *shakes fist* Grant filmed some of the surrounding buildings, whilst I summarised how growing up in Detroit has affected me as an iDollator, and as a person in general.

Finally, A & G dropped Shi-chan, Mari and myself back at the homestead close to 6.30pm, after a long but mostly rewarding day of filming. Mari and I signed release forms, only I had stipulated on mine that the end product would not be screened in Michigan. The reason for that should be obvious; without that clause, I could very well picture the documentary being shown at the Main Art theatre, followed by a review in our popular local alternative paper, the MetroTimes: ‘One of the movie’s subjects is Davecat, who owns a doll of his own, and lives in Detroit..’ Sure, bad press is better than no press at all, but you have to draw the line somewhere.
Speaking of the end product, I’ve not really given any other details! The film, which doesn’t yet have a title, should be between 90min and 2 hours in length, and Allison hopes to have it finished by the end of the year, so that she can shop it round to various international film festivals. Among the other people interviewed were Matt McMullen (of course), Hajime Sorayama, staffers at Orient industry and project LEVEL-D, Robert Parigi (who apparently lives just up the road from Allison), Gaby Wood (author of the ace book ‘Edison’s Eve’), iDollators Prof.Sakai and Ta-bo-san, a couple of staffers from Kobayashi Lab who worked on Android SAYA (Actroid-chan’s older, not-as-attractive sister), a few other individuals, and of course, Elena Dorfman. They’ll be sending me a DVD when the editing is finished, and as soon as I get any news, I’ll be sure to incessantly blab about it..
Handshakes and hugs and farewells for everyone, and our film crew friends were back in their red Taurus heading for the airport. I have to say that both of them did an extraordinary job of putting myself and Mari at ease, and being able to put up with my initial reluctance at immediate scheduling. They were both ace to work with, and I’m looking forward not only to the finished documentary, but to hearing from them again. Well done, Allison and Grant! Thumbs up!

Mari and I went inside to cool off and for a post-game chat, and assessed that the three of us presented ourselves really well. Every couple of years Shi-chan and I get another fifteen minutes of fame, and I’m glad, cos we’re doing what we can to promote the idea that Synthetiks, whether they’re high-end love dolls such as RealDolls, or full-fledged Artificial humans, are not something to be feared or reviled, and those who are interested in Synthetiks are relatively normal people who are open-minded enough to enjoy manufactured beauty, and appreciate the technological advancements that Synthetiks happen to be as well.
Perhaps the techs at Kokoro co. Ltd. will invite Shi-chan and I to meet one of their lovely Actroids one day! Anything can happen once you set your mind to it, you know

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Stars in their Eyes, Part I

typed for your pleasure on 3 August 2005, at 2.27 pm

Sdtrk: ‘What you want’ by My bloody valentine

On 31 Jul and 01 Aug, Sidore-chan and I were once again in front of the camera, for another documentary about high-end love dolls, Gynoids, and Synthetiks in general. Allison De Fren and Grant Mitchell, creators of the 2001 documentary ‘ASFR‘, had been working on this film for about four years, and upon Elena Dorfman’s recommendations, advised to arrange a visit and an interview with myself and Sweetie, due to my many insights on the aforementioned subjects. Despite the fact that I thought it would have been better to conduct the meeting later in the year, when the temperature was less volcanic, and despite having to make several snap decisions on arrangements and scheduling, I’d say the whole experience turned out rather well..

SUNDAY, 31 JULY
I awoke at an inconceivable 7am, in order to get myself and Shi-chan prepped for our impending festivities. Even though Allison’s flight was landing at 9.30, and it would take about an hour to get from Metro Airport to mine, I wanted to get ready ASAP, so I could get some Gundam vs Zeta Gundam in to take the edge off while we waited. 🙂
Shortly after finishing dressing Sweetie, I rang Marika, as she was slated to appear at some point to provide the perspective of someone who personally knows an iDollator, but she wasn’t awake. (She didn’t get up until 2pm that day.) I left a message saying that we’d be commencing shooting at noon, and I’d have my phone off, so I’d give her a ring when we were done.
What were we wearing, you axe? Shi-chan was wearing her black slingbacks, purple sheer hose, Hello Kitty knickers, short black PVC skirt, a black PVC waist cincher (the one with the buckles), a white blouse featuring cleavage, her silver O-ring collar, and her mid-length purple wig with the black streak. (She was pretty much dressed like she was in her ‘Black, white and purple’ shoot, for the most part.) I was wearing my German tank driver boots, black cargo trousers, a grey shirt, and a slim black tie with my steel tie clip. So, nothing unusual for either of us, really..

A little after 10am, I got a call from Grant. Sort of. I answered to the sound of Allison speaking to him, with some noise in the background. ‘Hallo? Hallo?‘ I repeated. What d’ya know! I’d been ass-called.
An ass-call, if you’re not familiar with it, is when you have a cellphone that has buttons on the face, and it’s wedged in a trouser back pocket, and through shifting and reseating yourself, a part of your body (usually your arse) manages to hit the Redial button. You have no idea that you’ve called someone, but there you are, letting your bum do the walking. I once received an ass-call that lasted a rather surreal two minutes, as this person that I knew was talking to her boyfriend. I really couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I could distinctly hear the Jackson Five on the radio in the background. I don’t know what to make of that..
They made a legitimate call shortly after that, letting me know they were en route but needed to grab some breakfast, so I directed them to Xhedos cafe over on 9 mile. Having done that, I got back to Gundam vs Zeta Gundam..

Round 11am, a red Taurus containing the film crew arrived outside my house. Allison, the director, a cheery and well-studied lass who could be Elena’s near-twin sister, and Grant, the producer, a tall Texan transplant, comprised the crew, as that’s what being an independent filmmaker is all about. One of the many odd-but-good-kind-of-odd occurences was that Allison looked rather like Elena in appearance and build. (I even jokingly greeted Allison with ‘Hey, Elena!’ when she stepped out of the car.) The truly odd part about that is that, as I’d said, she and Grant have been working on this Doll- and Synthetiks-based project for four years, and they’d started roughly around the same time that Elena began her ‘Still Lovers’ project. Neither one knew the other was practically working on the same thing until a year or so in, as they had both met Matt McMullen as well as a few other luminaries in the world of Synthetiks, and I’m sure at some point, someone said something along the lines of ‘Oh, you’re doing an article about RealDolls, just like _____ is!’ So at some point, since Elena had the lead with her project, she recommended that Allison attempt to get hold of me for an interview, due to my outspokenness on the subject, and also due to Shi-chan’s distinctive appearance. It took a while, but here we are, really..

In due course, we drove over to Woodlawn cemetery, reaching it shortly before noon. As I’d stated on several occasions, my greatest fear was that it would be unbearably hot and/or humid, but to our surprise, it was rather breezy, despite the fact that it was in the upper 70s, and pleasantly sunny. After some minutes’ setup time, Grant then shot footage of Shi-chan and I driving up one of the cemetery roads as if the rental car was ours, and stopping next to where I had chosen a particular monument a few days ago, where I was to carry her out to the filming area while filming continued. From there to the car door was about fifteen feet, and I guess I seriously overestimated my abilities, as about eight feet into our walk, my left arm supporting the Missus’ torso decided to retire early, leaving me to rapidly drop to my knees to avoid dropping her. Shi-chan escaped injury, praise “Bob”, but I don’t mind telling you; that was fucking embarrassing.
Things got markedly better after Allison helped me lift the Missus to the monument. I’d chosen it based on three factors: closeness to the road (ha!), relatively well-shaded, and with a great view of the algae-coated pond near the back. So as I regained my strength, Shi-chan and I sat in the shade, watching the dragonflies flit across the surface of the water, whilst Grant did some additional shooting. I would’ve had Allison snap a couple of still pics, but I’d left Clicky Mk II at home, unfortunately.. But I don’t mind telling you, it felt extraordinarily nice to be able to sit holding Shi-chan, in one of the few places where I don’t mind being out-of-doors, and I’m certain she enjoyed every minute of it as well.

We filmed for quite a while at the first monument, then we moved on to another one nearby, which was a well-shaded affair featuring columns and a bench. After getting ourselves photogenically arranged, Allison fired some more questions at me. Between the first location and here, the various topics covered (not in order, of course) were:

How I discovered the RealDoll phenomenon / Making my choices as to Shi-chan’s appearance, as regards her face, body, makeup, and dress sense / ‘Kitten with a Whip!’ / What Shi-chan ultimately means to me / What others think of the Missus / My estimation of Elena’s work / What is Goth? / What is Gothic-Lolita? / Detroit’s current downward spiral / Meeting other Doll owners in person / ‘Love object’: Good or Bad? / The meaning behind Sidore’s name, and some of her articles of jewelry / What’s in Sweetie’s purse? / Proper makeup application / Organiks vs Synthetiks / When did I first realise that I had a Mannequin and Doll fetish / Hans Bellmer and Oskar Kokoschka

And there’s about a third more subjects that were brought up as well, that I can’t recall immediately, but yeah, we covered quite a bit! As Allison said, we really should’ve brought more water, as we were getting parched..

Our party migrated to one last location, where Grant filmed me reading a interview-specific book with the Missus on the steps of a mausoleum. By that time, it was after 5pm, and we were beginning to lose light, so Allison wanted to drive round downtown to get some location shots. We packed everything back up in the rental Taurus, and shuttled the Missus back home, as it had been quite a day for her, as you could well suspect. Not to mention that she was in various poses for long periods of time, and I wanted her to relax in the neutral position for several hours, in order to let her silicone unstretch.

Allison, Grant and I took I-75 downtown, and parked in a car park adjacent to Hart Plaza. While Allison and I blabbed about several Doll- and non-Doll related items at great and engaging length, Grant wandered off and got some shots of the Joe Louis fist. About an hour or so later, he returned, telling us that he had been trying to get shots of the Renaissance Center (now the GM Headquarters), and security guards advised him against any filming. So he went across the street to film the GM building from there, and the guards still told him he was forbidden to shoot, even though he was on public property. The guards asked for ID, which Grant refused, saying he wasn’t doing anything wrong, and one of the four guards actually called for backup, at which point three plainclothes guards materialised in a car. Grant showed them his ID, figuring apart from the fact that he had nothing to hide, but he doesn’t live in Michigan anyway, and he’d said the plainclothes guys were relatively nice about it; at least, nicer than the rent-a-cop guards. Probably the most action those security tossers had seen in years, and they wanted to make the most of it..
So when the three of us were in Hart Plaza proper, Grant shot the RenCen from behind the Noguchi fountain. oooh, sneaky.

After supper at a restaurant in Greektown, it was time to bring an end to Sunday’s activities. Allison told me that with most of the people she’d interviewed, she has an average of three hours of good, usable footage. With me, she has around five hours. Plus, my informative, humourous and relaxed demeanour on-camera will make for good scenes. And of course, Shi-chan’s natural and unique beauty is a definite selling point. Heh, flattery will get you everywhere.. 🙂
I climbed into bed exhausted and with my arms and legs still throbbing from carting the Missus round so much, but she and I had done an ace job, and the day had turned out better than expected. Full points all round!

NEXT UP: Monday!

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

What Would Loki Do?, Part I on August 30th, 2006

Not your typical receptionist on April 23rd, 2007


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