Sdtrk: ‘Albion Festival report’ by The focus group

I have absolutely nothing polite to say about this. Nothing whatsoever.

Mobile texts harm written language?
Reuters | Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:28 AM ET

DUBLIN (Reuters) – The rising popularity of text messaging on mobile phones poses a threat to writing standards among Irish schoolchildren, an education commission says.

The frequency of errors in grammar and punctuation has become a serious concern, the State Examination Commission said in a report after reviewing last year’s exam performance by 15-year-olds.

“The emergence of the mobile phone and the rise of text messaging as a popular means of communication would appear to have impacted on standards of writing as evidenced in the responses of candidates,” the report said, according to Wednesday’s Irish Times.

“Text messaging, with its use of phonetic spelling and little or no punctuation, seems to pose a threat to traditional conventions in writing.”

The report laments that, in many cases, candidates seemed “unduly reliant on short sentences, simple tenses and a limited vocabulary.”

In 2003, Irish 15-year-olds were among the top 10 performers in an international league table of literacy standards compiled by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development.

Call me old-fashioned, or call me anal-retentive, but honestly, I think people in this day and age not having proper writing skills is embarrassing and shameful. Yes, I realise that language evolves through time for ‘better’ usage — arguably what comprises contemporary English is much less brain-destroying than say, Middle English — but these days I’m inclined to think that ‘better’ in the context of 21st Century society really means ‘lazier’.

My friend Wolfgang of vulne pro studios once argued that if the person who receives your message can parse what you’re essentially saying, despite any misspellings or grammar explosions, then that’s really the most important thing. Sure, I’ll grant him that, but I firmly believe that proper spelling should be encouraged. There are many people out there, myself included, who will almost entirely disregard an article, a blog entry, a post, or what have you if it’s typed ham-handedly. There may be an important message cleverly hidden within, but it’s as if the reader is being given a diamond ring cleverly hidden within a handful of shit. Frankly, if a person can’t be arsed to take the time to spell properly, why should anyone take the time to read it?
For a lot of people (and note, that’s ‘a lot’ — ‘alot’ isn’t a word), it’s a case of they’re typing so fast, that they don’t go over what they’ve written for errors before they submit it or hit the Send button; that’s how the Interbutt standards ‘zOMG’ and ‘teh’ began, for instance. There’s absolutely no sane reason why a person can’t give what they’ve said a quick check. And ‘that takes too long’ is hardly an excuse — if your spelling and grammar is up to snuff, it won’t take more than a couple of seconds, at any rate.

And as far as limited vocabulary, that rankles me just as much, if not more. Could you imagine if writers such as Wilde, or Burgess, or Machen, or Plath, didn’t have the benefit of an expansive vocabulary? Could you picture how incredibly dull their writing would be, or any writing, speech, or dialogue, for that matter? Language should be more than just a vehicle for basic communication; at its best, it should also paint pictures. Obviously, not everything that comes out of everyone’s mouth should sound like something by Edward Bulwer-Lytton (‘Yes, my good maiden; I would desire to place an order for a burger of ham, bedecked with intertwining spirals of tomato catsup and yellowed mustard, denuded of pickles, and accompanying that I wouldst like a singular order of French fries — crisp, golden-brown shards of deeply-fried potato — in the largest size a man can request. To quench my thirst which threatens even now to vanquish me, I will also require a chilled Coca’d-Cola, in a size that lay betwixt Diminutive and Titanic’) but a larger vocabulary is, at the very least, a sign that you’re trying to elevate yourself above the grunts and snorts that pass for common language.

In summation? Read more books, I suppose

Sdtrk: ‘Hide away’ by Midnight movies

It’s hardly a secret that I’m a dyed-in-the-wool Japanophile, but who can blame me? Seriously, what other country would come up with the idea of marketing one of their auto company’s latest vehicles by using a giant robot?

Now THAT’S a sport utility vehicle

Technically, the Nissan Dualis isn’t a robot, but a ‘powered suit’ (think the Garland from Megazone 23, or the Knight Sabers’ Motoslaves from Bubblegum crisis), but then technically, the real Dualis, which is merely another SUV, doesn’t transform. Way to get my hopes up with your false fecking advertising, Nissan. And the videos hosted on YouTube, that feature the Dualis skating around Japan’s busy metropolitan streets, don’t help either. Still, it certainly gives one something to look forward to.

The Dualis powered suit was apparently designed by Shoji Kawamori, the most overworked mecha designer in Japan. Good lord, man, wasn’t working on most of the Macross series / the Armored core series / GUNHED / Escaflowne / Eureka7 / Aquarion / the AIBO ERS-220 enough for you? When was the last time you slept, sometime in the Seventies??

Sdtrk: ‘Cookie bay’ by the High Llamas

In all honesty, I was going to write something and post it, as it’s been a bit, but between visiting the dentist (painful), and being outside in today’s 90°F weather (double painful), the idea for whatever stunning post I was gonna write has been effectively shot several times in the face.
On the upside, however, I bought a new DVD player whilst out-of-doors that I’ve ‘hacked’ to be region-free, traded a number of DVDs in at Thomas Video, our local cult video store, using the credit to order the new Brothers Quay collection DVD, and preordered the R2 DVD of ‘if….’, exclusive to Amazon.co.uk. Why this version over the domestic Criterion one, you enquire? The accompanying free screenplay swayed my decision. Pre-order’d!

More later, perhaps. I’m taking a nap; wake me when it’s genuinely Autumn again

Sdtrk: something from the Otogi sdtrk

In looking over a recent set of stats for visitors to ‘Shouting etc etc’, I’d spotted the efforts of some poor misguided tosser’s search:

Gods, how I laughed. A ‘cure’ for robot fetishism?? What good could possibly become of that?? Their silly question aside, that individual couldn’t have been looking in a more inappropriate place…

In light of that, Sweetie’s got another couple of videos uploaded o’er on her Dailymotion page for your perusal, the link being nestled atop this site beneath the title banner, as per usual. Yes, you have to register in order to see them, as all of the clips are considered ‘explicit content’ — despite the fact that ‘explicit’ apparently means ‘look out: bOObies‘, and most of the clips don’t even feature that — but at least it’s not YouTube.* Happy 23rd!

*Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that if you consistently read YouTube comments, you can actually feel yourself losing IQ points? Not since the heyday of AOL have I seen a larger confluence of misspellings and general shitwickery. And that’s saying a lot

Sdtrk: ‘Slow fast Hazel’ by Stereolab

With the recent confluence of a friend asking me about how to handle the experience of being on camera, as he’s one of the subjects of an upcoming documentary centred round bicycling culture, plus working on the ‘Media appearances’ page for ‘Kitten with a Whip!’ (yes, work is being done on Sidore’s site, even if it’s only on a molecular level), it’s occurred to me that there are two media-related self-aggrandising events that I’ve yet to take part in.

One: I’d love to be interviewed on some sort of radio programme or podcast. The Missus and I have been on TV on several occasions, and before she came into my life, I had a three-year stint as a technical director for a Detroit-area public access show, so it’s been all telly, yet no radio. And before you say that being a TD doesn’t count cos it’s behind the scenes, I did manage to stick my face in front of the camera on a couple of segments. But I think I’d rather enjoy fielding questions from the other side of a chat show’s host’s desk, or table, or however the hell the seating arrangement is in the booth, and maybe even addressing call-in questions. No, strike that, reverse it; no call-ins, as that’s a recipe for disaster. Ever listen to Chatterbox FM, the all-talk station from Grand Theft Auto? I’m 100% positive a call-in show about iDollators would run the same way, only with all the humour stripped out, and replaced with antagonism and churlishness. WOOO SIGN ME UP
If I had my preference, obviously it’d have to be an NPR-esque show. Plus, as it’s not a visual medium, I wouldn’t have to haul Little Miss Narcoleptic bring Shi-chan along — she could sit that one out…

And Two: Despite the various countries that have enquired about interviews, I have yet to hear from Japan, which is the one that I thought would be really chomping at the bit. Seeing as that they’re a lot more comfortable with the idea of artificial humans in general — for every one high-end Doll maker we have in the States, they’ve got three, not to mention the progressive attitude they have towards robotics — you’d think they’d be banging (politely) on my door, asking for ‘face time’ from Sweetie and me. The language barrier is hardly an excuse, as Meghan Laslocky’s wonderful article appeared in the Japanese magazine Courrier a year ago. Perhaps it’s a catch-22; the Japanese media hasn’t seen too much on the subject, so they don’t know to seek out Doll owners, but they won’t think to look for Doll owners if there’s no media exposure of that subject. *shrug* Nevertheless Japan, Sidore and I are anxiously awaiting your long-distance phone calls and pensive Emails!

Needless to say, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that one of these will come to pass, particularly the second one. I’m not holding my breath, but I’m certainly keeping my fingers crossed

Sdtrk: ‘Fluorescent grey’ by Deerhunter

Not having paid any previous attention to the Japanese Doll company make pure, as their models hold no appeal for me, I was pleasantly surprised when I learned of their brand-new Synthetik companion, Deep ~L~. Very pleasantly surprised. Wow.

N.B.: not actually enrolled in classes

Babelfish comes to the rescue (or as Babelfish itself would say, ‘Babelfish comes for the rescue’) with this translation of the newspost that tipped me off to Deep ~L~:

Adult doll Deep~L~. compact with the height 130cm, having got big breasts, and complete & figure and atmosphere, too the homepage of make pure. It drank and the page joined. ｢The maximum feature is a groin part. The device that not is before though it is a hall type is given. ｣ To our regret, the details are being controlled voluntarily.

‘It drank and the page joined’. Noted!
Granted, make pure’s new lass is flat-out luscious, no question, but there’s something familiar about her appearance. I couldn’t put my finger on it, until I visited 4chan’s Sexy beautiful women sub-board, and it hit me like a ton of silicone bricks after seeing a certain thread — they’ve gone and made half-Filipino half-French model and unstoppable sexbomb Leah Dizon. A grand choice!

Left, Leah; right, Deep ~L~

You can now have your very own Leah Dizon. This, then, is proof that we are truly living in the Golden Age! One wonders if she’s aware of this, though. If not, you’d be well advised to get your orders in for the Dolls as soon as they announce it before she activates her lawyers

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