Sdtrk: something from the Otogi sdtrk

In looking over a recent set of stats for visitors to ‘Shouting etc etc’, I’d spotted the efforts of some poor misguided tosser’s search:

Gods, how I laughed. A ‘cure’ for robot fetishism?? What good could possibly become of that?? Their silly question aside, that individual couldn’t have been looking in a more inappropriate place…

In light of that, Sweetie’s got another couple of videos uploaded o’er on her Dailymotion page for your perusal, the link being nestled atop this site beneath the title banner, as per usual. Yes, you have to register in order to see them, as all of the clips are considered ‘explicit content’ — despite the fact that ‘explicit’ apparently means ‘look out: bOObies‘, and most of the clips don’t even feature that — but at least it’s not YouTube.* Happy 23rd!

*Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that if you consistently read YouTube comments, you can actually feel yourself losing IQ points? Not since the heyday of AOL have I seen a larger confluence of misspellings and general shitwickery. And that’s saying a lot

Sdtrk: ‘Slow fast Hazel’ by Stereolab

With the recent confluence of a friend asking me about how to handle the experience of being on camera, as he’s one of the subjects of an upcoming documentary centred round bicycling culture, plus working on the ‘Media appearances’ page for ‘Kitten with a Whip!’ (yes, work is being done on Sidore’s site, even if it’s only on a molecular level), it’s occurred to me that there are two media-related self-aggrandising events that I’ve yet to take part in.

One: I’d love to be interviewed on some sort of radio programme or podcast. The Missus and I have been on TV on several occasions, and before she came into my life, I had a three-year stint as a technical director for a Detroit-area public access show, so it’s been all telly, yet no radio. And before you say that being a TD doesn’t count cos it’s behind the scenes, I did manage to stick my face in front of the camera on a couple of segments. But I think I’d rather enjoy fielding questions from the other side of a chat show’s host’s desk, or table, or however the hell the seating arrangement is in the booth, and maybe even addressing call-in questions. No, strike that, reverse it; no call-ins, as that’s a recipe for disaster. Ever listen to Chatterbox FM, the all-talk station from Grand Theft Auto? I’m 100% positive a call-in show about iDollators would run the same way, only with all the humour stripped out, and replaced with antagonism and churlishness. WOOO SIGN ME UP
If I had my preference, obviously it’d have to be an NPR-esque show. Plus, as it’s not a visual medium, I wouldn’t have to haul Little Miss Narcoleptic bring Shi-chan along — she could sit that one out…

And Two: Despite the various countries that have enquired about interviews, I have yet to hear from Japan, which is the one that I thought would be really chomping at the bit. Seeing as that they’re a lot more comfortable with the idea of artificial humans in general — for every one high-end Doll maker we have in the States, they’ve got three, not to mention the progressive attitude they have towards robotics — you’d think they’d be banging (politely) on my door, asking for ‘face time’ from Sweetie and me. The language barrier is hardly an excuse, as Meghan Laslocky’s wonderful article appeared in the Japanese magazine Courrier a year ago. Perhaps it’s a catch-22; the Japanese media hasn’t seen too much on the subject, so they don’t know to seek out Doll owners, but they won’t think to look for Doll owners if there’s no media exposure of that subject. *shrug* Nevertheless Japan, Sidore and I are anxiously awaiting your long-distance phone calls and pensive Emails!

Needless to say, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that one of these will come to pass, particularly the second one. I’m not holding my breath, but I’m certainly keeping my fingers crossed

Sdtrk: ‘Fluorescent grey’ by Deerhunter

Not having paid any previous attention to the Japanese Doll company make pure, as their models hold no appeal for me, I was pleasantly surprised when I learned of their brand-new Synthetik companion, Deep ~L~. Very pleasantly surprised. Wow.

N.B.: not actually enrolled in classes

Babelfish comes to the rescue (or as Babelfish itself would say, ‘Babelfish comes for the rescue’) with this translation of the newspost that tipped me off to Deep ~L~:

Adult doll Deep~L~. compact with the height 130cm, having got big breasts, and complete & figure and atmosphere, too the homepage of make pure. It drank and the page joined. ｢The maximum feature is a groin part. The device that not is before though it is a hall type is given. ｣ To our regret, the details are being controlled voluntarily.

‘It drank and the page joined’. Noted!
Granted, make pure’s new lass is flat-out luscious, no question, but there’s something familiar about her appearance. I couldn’t put my finger on it, until I visited 4chan’s Sexy beautiful women sub-board, and it hit me like a ton of silicone bricks after seeing a certain thread — they’ve gone and made half-Filipino half-French model and unstoppable sexbomb Leah Dizon. A grand choice!

Left, Leah; right, Deep ~L~

You can now have your very own Leah Dizon. This, then, is proof that we are truly living in the Golden Age! One wonders if she’s aware of this, though. If not, you’d be well advised to get your orders in for the Dolls as soon as they announce it before she activates her lawyers

Technorati tags: Leah Dizon

Sdtrk: ‘Bedazzled!’ by Drimble Wedge and the Vegetation

Found this tiny treasure on some Japanese person’s blog today:

Yes, a doll — specifically, a Takara Cool Girl (marketed in the States as ‘CyGirl’) doll — of the Robot station emcee version of Actroid-chan. Yes, that high-pitched sound would be coming from me.
Takara’s Cool Girl site yields no positive results, and online translators aren’t really helping me, either. Running the accompanying paragraph through Babelfish results in

(Gramar from the thing) . The end is a figure of this and Expo Actoroid in the booth in Kokoro ･･･ Yes though feelings from which it already wants to make something are understood well.

So like, what? Were they offering these dolls during Aichi’s 2005 Robot Expo? Is this a mod that this person came up with? Where’d they get the race queen outfit for it from? Is… is this what an aneurysm feels like??

I might well have to ask some friends in Japan if they can find anything about that doll’s availability, as that’d be a hell of a collectible item… It might almost be easier to track down a human-sized race queen outfit, and have Shi-chan cosplay as Actroid-chan! Brilliant!
Huh. That’s an unusually evil eye she’s giving me

Technorati tags: Actroid, Takara, Cool Girl, CyGirl, race queen

Sdtrk: ‘Papercuts’ by Broadcast

By my own admission, I’m not altogether keen on most modern (i.e., anything after the mid-Nineties) art, but this is a notable exception by Chinese artist Cai Guo-Qiang that I spotted on the Random board of WAKAchan:

AWHUMPA thumpa thump thud arf etc

The wolves were produced in Quanzhou, China, from January to June of 2006. The commissioned local workshop in Cai’s hometown specializes in manufacturing remarkable, life-sized replicas of animals. First, small clay models were created as movement studies, out of which Cai subsequently developed Head On’s artist editions of cast resin wolves. However, the realistic and lifelike 99 wolves that grew out of these models and drawings possess no literal remnants of wolves: they are fabricated from painted sheepskins and stuffed with hay and metal wires, with plastic lending contour to their faces and marbles for eyes.
taken from this article

Seems that when he’s not having RealWolves colliding with glass panes, he works a lot with pyrotechnics or gunpowder, as evidenced on his site on Artsy.net. These are concepts I can get behind!

Sdtrk: ‘Menta’ by Sutcliffe Jügend

In hanging out with the lads on a Saturday eve a few months ago, we had to stop at a wine store (really, it was more like a party store with higher aspirations, but they’ll have to work much harder, as they’re located in Macomb county) for some drinkies. In browsing their beverages selection, we’d noticed a couple of metal tubs filled with these bizarre articles:

The Missus thought it tasted awful as well. And technically,
she has no tastebuds

Yes, it is exactly what it appears to be — water in a bag, under the unsettling name of ‘Pure Pouch’. We should be thankful that they didn’t decide to go with what was probably their first name choice, ‘Water In A Bag’, as you really wouldn’t be able to get much more bog-standard than that if you tried. Now that I think about it, yes you could; ever see the film ‘Repo man’? All the grocery stores were stocked with the most generic of foodstuffs and dry goods: every single item was packaged in a white container with a light blue stripe and a generic serif typeface proclaiming ‘Cereal’, ‘Baked Beans’, ‘Tissue Paper’, etc etc.

‘HEY! He’s talking to jooooo’

Pure Pouch’s packaging is far too ornate compared to that sort of thing. That’s a point in their favour, I guess.

What spasm of anti-creativity produced this? Did the boss of Waterco. Inc. suddenly say one day, ‘We’ve got all this water just sitting there in our many enormous storage tanks; what the living hell are we gonna do with all of it??’ *sees employee sipping a Capri Sun, snaps fingers* ‘WE’LL PUT IT IN BAGS AND SELL IT!! BY GOD, THAT’S WHAT WE’LL DO!! IT’S A LICENCE TO PRINT MONEY!!’ Then he fires the bloke drinking the Capri Sun, cos that’d be like having a Pepsi while working at the Coca-cola plant.
It’s like I always say: find a niche and fill it; if there isn’t a niche, make one and then fill it. And yet I bought a Pure Pouch! Technically, I bought four, as they were four for $1. Ehh, that dollar wasn’t doing me any good anyways. But it does remind one of the old saw ‘What does Evian spell backwards?’

Unfortunately, much as you’d expect, the water tastes like plastic bag. Not a positive selling point. Later that eve, I gave one to SafeTinspector, who emptied his at an alarming speed, and I took the other two home in order to study them further. Did I leave one in goshou’s van by accident? *thinks* Do I really care at this point?
Perhaps I’ll freeze the ones I have, relabel them (using a Sharpie), and sell them as Ice Pouch! Ahh, the entrepreneurial spirit is truly unstoppabubble.

O, and in case you’re keeping score, this would be the second time I’ve written about brackish, unappetising water