Alright, I’m bored / WE’RE FUCKED: supplemental

typed for your pleasure on 5 November 2004, at 3.41 am

Who amongst you readers (all three and a half of you) would like some nifty new wallpapers? Hm? I had the startling idea earlier today of uploading the wallpapers off my very own desktop, for the perusal and usage of all. Right now, I’m up to 91 walls (a nifty programme called WallSmart chooses one at random every 10 minutes); once I reach 100, I’ll .zip them and release them for download over the course of a couple of weeks. Sounds like fun? Sounds like fun.

And this is neat: sorryeverybody.com. Kind of an ad hoc apology to the world, on behalf of all of us thinking, upright mammals who didn’t vote for Dubya

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Any Doll-related news, Davecat? (Nov 04)

typed for your pleasure on 4 November 2004, at 11.22 pm

Well, yes! Kinda. I’m currently grilling Uli & Jeff of Delphi creations as to their Superdoll product, as I’m rather intrigued, and so far, I like what I hear.. Still waiting for part three of my interview with the illustrious Meghan Laslocky. And.. that’s about it, really.

Shi-chan is doing quite well for herself; these days, she spends like 99.9% of her time in bed. Due to our living situation, she’s currently in semi-retirement from being the RealGoth pin-up model that she usually is — I’m trying to come up with a logistical way to take photos in our bedroom, but the surroundings are too bleh for my tastes, but I’m giving it some thought. We’re stuck here for at least three years until we move *grits teeth* but, despite the bedroom decor, I’d like to get some shoots in. I might take the approach of what some of the Japanese doll owners do, or those with similarly limited space, and just restrict the photographs to a ‘staging area’, much in the same way that t-dash-san & Yuka-chan, or atsushi-san & MaRi-chan, work. It’s really about doing a lot with a little, as it were. Besides, people aren’t looking at my pics to check out the background — or so I would hope…

Finally, back in September, Elisabeth, our friend & interviewer from France, met up with Valérie Guignabodet, the director of ‘Monique‘, the satirically romantic RealDoll comedy. (Yes; niche market, I know, but consider what site you’re reading.) A couple of weeks beforehand, Eli told me she would be meeting up with Mme. Guignabodet, so I mailed her the sleeve insert of my DVD copy of ‘Monique’ to pass along to be autographed. And she did.

Needless to say, we’re quite proud!

O, and I still have yet to watch my copy of ‘Love object‘.
Hmm.. am I really in such a hurry to view that one? (cue image of a needlessly jealous Shi-chan coming at me with a Liston knife)

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WE’RE FUCKED

typed for your pleasure on 3 November 2004, at 9.08 pm

Four more years of a hillbilly despot. That’s fucking fantastic.

I have to say that at this point, I’ve completely lost faith in the general American populace. Obviously I’m not the only one disappointed, but I was hoping against hope that enough voters, even republicans, would recognise what a mindless rolling twat Dubya is. Heh, I really should’ve lowered my expectations.

O well. I suppose there’s nothing left to do now but hope Dubya doesn’t suddenly instate a retroactive draft, or alienate any more allied countries, or sodomise the economy even further, or get us all nuked into oblivion, or etc etc

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Speaking of Hallowe’en..

typed for your pleasure on 1 November 2004, at 2.58 am

I went in costume for the so-called Hallowe’en party at work on Friday. Now, for those of you unfamiliar with my appearance, here’s a semi-recent picture:


The author, in repose

Now, you see that pic? I dress like that all of the time. It’s an extraordinarily rare occasion when I’m not wearing black, white and grey, and I’m usually in either green or purple. No exceptions whatsoever.
So this year, for shits and giggles, I decided that I would dress up for the party. And seeing as that the entire point of dressing up for Hallowe’en is to go as something you’re not, I decided to dress as some preppy tosser. Between scouring two Value Worlds and buying clothes that I wouldn’t be caught dead in, deliberately choosing colours that I despise, I came up with something quite nice on a limited budget. I obtained a blue sweatshirt, a pair of bluejeans, some brown & blue Timberland-like shoes, and borrowed a blue-and-white checked shirt from my father, so my costume expenditure total came to about $13. I combed back my bangs, removed my chrome-and-black leather wrist belts, scraped off my black nailvarnish, and removed five of my six earrings for better assimilation, and, combined with the dodgy clothes I was wearing, I pulled off something fairly hideous.

Most of my coworkers didn’t get it, but the few that did found it pretty funny. I suppose it was really more to amuse myself than anyone else.. I’ll tell you this, though; I could not wait to get home and change

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The mission is terminated

typed for your pleasure on 31 October 2004, at 9.35 pm

Although I wouldn’t call myself Pagan, as I feel that I’ve not studied enough of it to call myself one, I’d say that per capita, Pagans are more sensible than those who follow christian-based dogma. But I would say that.
So today is Samhain, the Pagan New year! And this year’s Samhain marks a vaguely special occasion for me, as I will no longer be spelling words in that ‘pseudo-Genesis P-Orridge’ fashion anymore. Yes, from now on, I’m spelling like a *gasp* normal person. No more ‘ov’ for ‘of’, no more.. gods, well, that’s about it, really, now that I think of it.

First of (man, that’s gonna take some getting used to) all, since this Blog is still relatively new, you’ve never really experienced the full horror of What Used To Be My Spelling Style. I began my alternate spelling back around 1991 as a tribute to one of my favourite bands of all time, Throbbing gristle. Chris Carter, Cosey Fanni Tutti, Peter ‘Sleazy’ Chistopherson, and their ostensible front-man, Genesis P-Orridge, were four art-terrorists from Manchester back in the mid-to-late Seventies, who could well be held responsible for starting the whole Industrial music & culture scenes. They were practical philosphers, they were influential trendsetters, they were artists & musicians, they were perverted deviants. They were, and still are, entirely ace.
One of their main goals was to ‘subvert from within’; meaning, transmitting non-mainstream thoughts, ideas, and concepts to the masses using mainstream methods. They maintained that just because you were brought up to think and behave in a certain way, that you didn’t have to stick with it for your entire life, especially if it wasn’t producing the desired results for you. One of Genesis’ early experiments was to transform his spelling style into something entirely ‘other’; and, being the big slobbering TG fanboy that I was at the time, I thought it would be a good idea to follow suit. Allow me to run thru some of my past writings and lay some examples on you:

Referring again to the above statement made by Mr LaVey, he says, ‘Artificiality is more than completely honest; it forestalls disappointment at things not being what they appear to be.’ W/ Artifice, wot you see is truly wot you get. However, knowing beforehand that you’ve aquired something Synthetik, it also becomes the best possible excuse for stretching yr imagination to its fullest extent, because if yr’e anything like me, yr dream/phantasy life is much more preferable to yr waking life.

Heh. I had hoped to cite more examples by pulling from some of my older fiction, but as I still don’t have a copy of MS Word 2000, I can’t open any of my files, which were saved on the screechingly obsolete MS Works 98. Goddamn you, Micro$quish, and your stupid .wps extensions. :-\
Needless to say, my writing was a lot more impenetrable back then; the above example is when I was just beginning to curtail my unusual spelling. In my ‘heyday’, the pronoun ‘I’ would be spelt as ‘E’; a ‘y’ at the end of a word would be swapped out with ‘ie’; an extra ‘e’ was added at the end of ‘the’; most all words containing a hard ‘c’ had it spelt with a ‘k’ instead — but not if the ‘c’ was the first letter in said word, so I’d spell ‘contact’ as ‘contakt’; if the word ended in ‘ve’, I’d drop the ‘e’, etc etc. As you suspect, this was a lot of work to keep up with! It was interesting, and definitely distinctive — people on the various BBSes and Forums that I’d populate would instantly know it was me whenever I posted — but after doing this for around a decade, I think I’ve pretty much had enough. Not to mention the fact that I am a rather high-ranking spelling & grammar Nazi, so even though I knew that my alternate spelling was incorrect (and I still justify it by saying that only when you know what the rules are, then you can break them), but I’m sure to many people it seemed hypocritical.

Happy Hallowe’en! Normal spelling from Davecat, for now, and forever! Not counting when I spell like a person from the UK, ov course…
Whoops! Mea culpa!

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Not as fun, but certainly safer, than a fireman’s axe

typed for your pleasure on 31 October 2004, at 7.49 pm

If this thing actually works, I am so ordering one. From the press release:

New Key chain Tech Gadget Turns Off Any Television

What: TV-B-Gone™ universal remote controls, is an amazing small handheld new gadget that has the power to turn off virtually any television set.
How: TV-B-Gone™ universal remote controls generates the ‘off’ power codes for every model of US, Asian and European televisions. Hangs discreetly on a keychain.
Why: Because a tv that is powered on is like second-hand smoke. It fills the room with its sights and sounds, impinging on everyone in the room. If someone were smoking a cigar in a public place, you would probably leave or ask them to extinguish it. With TV-B-Gone™, you have the power to turn any tv off, with others’ approval.

Thumbs up for subversive-but-practical technology!

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Doing their part to Advertise and Confuse

typed for your pleasure on 30 October 2004, at 6.22 pm

Here we go again! Another dodgy-yet-intriguing missive from Spam Email Technologies Co. Ltd. Inc.; this one beginning with the sentence ‘You sleep with your eyes open’, which I thought was kinda cool. The body ov the message itself is your typical ‘G.e.n.e.r.i.c V-I-A-G-R-A – No Prescription Needed !!’ shill, but the paragraph at the bottom, which I’ve quoted in its entirety, is what really grabbed my attention:

“Why am I here?” They will be wearing their most revealings underwear, which is what they happened to be wearing when the car broke down. The employers were also asked to list the “most unusual” questions that have been asked by job candidates. If you are beautiful, your makeup never rubs off, even while scuba-diving or fighting aliens. I feel uneasy indoors. You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked. You’ve worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week. This involving fuses, deadly gasses, lasers, buzz saws and hungry sharks. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer. A German accent will do. Whenever a man is with a woman he is usually thinking about sex.

Wow, it’s W.S.Burroughs writing song lyrics for Pulp. Well done, Spambots!

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