At least he didn’t have a tiny knife or gun

typed for your pleasure on 17 June 2007, at 8.13 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Cracked actor’ by David Bowie

She’ll probably flense me for publically reporting this, but my friend Marika claims that as a child, she once had a squirrel urinate on her from an upper perch on a fence. All told, she got off pretty easy.

Squirrel goes on rampage, injures 3
Thu Jun 14, 2007 11:00AM EDT

BERLIN (Reuters) – An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.

The squirrel first ran into a house in the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said Thursday.

With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off.

The animal then entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole.

“After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man’s garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh,” the spokesman said. “Then he killed it with his crutch.”

The spokesman said experts thought the attack may have been linked to the mating season or because the squirrel was ill.
(emphasis mine)

Maybe it’s time I started a subcategory dealing with cute animals behaving in a peculiar manner. Cos between the bus-riding moggy, the Mouse Torch, the kitty burglar, and the murderous packs of Russian squirrels, I’m ending up with more of these kinds of stories than I thought possible.

Perhaps this squirrel simply had a series of bad experiences happen to him, one piling on top of the other, until one day he just snapped and began his fatal rampage. Maybe he was fired from an accounting firm. Unfortunately, we’ll never know, but let his example be a lesson to you. I, err, honestly don’t know what kind of lesson we’re speaking of here, but let’s not obsess over details

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

Like cute lil' furry piranhas on December 2nd, 2005

'Someone needs to scoop Azrael's litterbox' on July 26th, 2007

5 have spoken to “At least he didn’t have a tiny knife or gun”

  1. Mahtek writes:

    So who got to eat the squirrel? Don’t tell me they wasted it.

  2. Davecat writes:

    The article neglected that detail! Perhaps a sandwich was made.

  3. SafeTinspector writes:

    The category could be “Signs that Nature is Rebelling Against her Human Assailants”
    …wait, everything on our blogs could fit in that category, according to various authorities.

  4. Camilla writes:

    “Maybe it’s time I started a subcategory dealing with cute animals behaving in a peculiar manner. ”


    this is actually a briliant idea!

  5. Davecat writes:

    I’m mulling over sub-category names — any suggestions?
    SafeT, yours was too long. I need something briefer. PUNCHIER!

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