Bold New Spam Technologies

typed for your pleasure on 20 July 2004, at 12.58 am

Spam these days stuns me with its ‘we’re getting into your Inbox by hook or by crook’ methods. Next time you’re exceedingly bored, take a moment to open a missive* sent to you from personages such as ‘Discolorations E. Challenge’ or ‘big poppa’ or the esteemed ‘Jerry Issac Arnulfo Carol Orval Lynn Rex Barry’ and see what they have to say. Here’s a sample from one that slipped under my radar today:

>If you’re too busy to help those around you succeed, you’re too busy.
>Why so large a cost, having so short a lease, does thou upon your
>fading mansion spend?
>It is easier to forgive an enemy than a friend.
>True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of
>creating things new.
>Adultery is the application of democracy to love.

That’s actually a tame one. Most ov the ones I receive have random strings ov words lining the bottom, in paragraphs 10 to 12 lines deep. None ov the words have anything to do with each other, or with the context ov the Email itself. My guess is that they’re MacGuffins for mail filters; throw enough random words in the mix, and the filter will let it slip thru, like a drowsy & underpaid security guard. It’s COLLATERAL TEXT DAMAGE!! Next time I get one ov those, I’ll post it here. They’re a treat

*but for the love ov Odhinn, don’t click on anything. If your harddrive begins leaking clarified butter cos ‘Davecat told me to open a spam Email’, don’t fucking blame me, stupid

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

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'Hello, sir? Bring me your head, please' on February 8th, 2007

2 have spoken to “Bold New Spam Technologies”

  1. Patrick writes:

    I’ve gotten some just as a bad as that. Even the ones that make sense, make no sense. Like, one I got read :
    “I live in Utah. I’m bored. Watch me fuck horse cock.”

    umm…how about “no”?

  2. Davecat writes:

    God forbid I should ever be THAT bored.
    *wide-eyed stare*

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