How many echoes are there?

typed for your pleasure on 19 July 2006, at 12.00 am

Sdtrk: ‘State laughter’ by Death in June

It’s 19 July again, peoples! That means ‘Shouting to hear the echoes’ has been operational for two years. Two godforsaken years. I find that nearly impossible — and almost frightening — to comprehend.
Much in the same fashion as last year’s anniversary post, I will now trot out the List of All The Taglines That Have Appeared Beneath The Title for Fifty-Two Weeks Running. And we’re off!

+ + + + + + + + + + + +

+ Fantasy for three Crystal Palaces, two Jasons, and an Albis
These were the names given to some of the types of tone generators that the BBC Radiophonic Workshop used

+ I’M VERY EXCITED ABOUT WHAT IT IS BUT I’M NOT QUITE SURE WHAT IT’S LIKE

+ Whither Richey Preacher?
How long has he been missing? A little over a decade? Yeah, I’m thinking at this point, he’s probably dead

+ ‘I pulled the trigger on rock and roll’
That’s my interpretation of a line from Ministry’s ‘Supermanic soul’. I’ve no idea what Al is actually saying in real life

+ Hamster.. as Master?
One of the titles to one of the many mixtapes I’d made during the Nineties

+ ‘Of course I over-romanticise everything! I wouldn’t leave the house otherwise!’
That’s another quote one of mine, naturally

+ Pessimism is Realism with a sneer, and Nihilism is Pessimism with a gun
Yet another Davecat quote. That one’s old! I think I came up with that in the Nineties..

+ Hello Kitty, last of the hatchet murderers
It takes quite a bit of effort to kill someone with a hatchet; more than you’d think, really. On the plus side, it’s a great way to burn off a lot of calories

+ ‘And remember: if you turn your stereo speakers on their sides, you’ll have a strange taste in music’
attributed to Booga, from Tank girl (the comic series, not the hateful movie)

+ ‘The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo’
from ‘Alice’s adventures in Wonderland’, of course

+ Performing unspeakable acts with the severed head of Jayne Mansfield
What? What??

+ ‘You have to do things that normal people don’t understand, because those are the important things’
Andy Warhol, speaking what could possibly be defined as the greatest quote of his life – at least as far as I’m concerned

+ Attack ships on fire
‘…off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears.. in.. rain.’ No points guessing what fillum that phrase origiBLADE RUNNER

+ Synthesiser guidebook on fire
Despite the fact that I really don’t like Boredoms (partially cos when I say I’m into Japanese Noise, people — if they have any vague grasp of what the concept entails — usually respond with ‘Oh. Like the Boredoms?’ That’s not Noise; that’s noise-rock, bunky, and it’s not a patch on Merzbow), I always thought they had a couple of fab song titles. This is one of them

+ New sidereal extrahere
I’ve always loved this phrase; it was made when I stuck a couple of cool-sounding words together. ‘Extrahere’ is apparently Latin for ‘to draw out’, which is where we get the word ‘extract’, but I didn’t know that up until a few months ago. Be careful what words you choose, I think, is the lesson learned today

+ ‘As with most such perversions, Giger did it better’
a comment someone posted whilst on one of those crazy imageboards I frequent

+ ‘I decree today that life is simply taking and not giving / England is mine, it owes me a living’
‘And if you must go to work tomorrow / Well if I were you, I wouldn’t bother / For there are brighter sights to life and I should know because I’ve seen them / But not very often’
The Smiths, ‘Still ill’

+ Anecdotes from the darkest pits of Hell. Or, if I haven’t eaten yet, the darkest pits of my stomach
No lies there

+ Signal to silence, siren to synapse
Another mixtape title. Sounds like summat Coil would’ve come up with

+ Giggling nervously in the face of oncoming traffic

+ ‘The body is turned over.. ANTS.. ANTS..’
from an episode of ‘Sprockets’. O, that Dieter

+ ‘I don’t want a Tripper tripping in my kitchen!’
Attributed to Dean Travers, who was the dean at the culinary school Jack Tripper was attending.
People simply don’t believe me when I say that ‘Three’s Company’ oozed pure Comedy Gold

+ Midgard Welcomes Careful Drivers
Just don’t do anything crazy, like piss off Jörmungandr, otherwise we’re all so very doomed

+ ‘GO GO GO GO SPACE CHANNEL 5 / SPACE DANCING SPACE SHOOTING SEXY GIRL YAY!’
one of the chants that the ‘Cheer Gals’ in Space channel 5 part 2 sing, in order to cheer Ulala on. It works for me!

+ ‘Some people look down on me / I hope they like what they see’
entirely appropos lyric, cribbed from ‘Truth’, off New order’s ‘Movement’ release

+ Simply Fuss Free!
found in the inside disk tray for Pulp’s ‘Different class’ Cd

+ The perfect fusion of Brevity and Verbosity
that would be Me

+ ‘There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say, “There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say there are two kinds of people in the world, and the other kind,” and those who don’t say. Well, and then there’s me.’
Attributed to J. R. “Bob” Dobbs, the craven (?) idol (??) of the Church of the SubGenius. Try not to think about it too hard, as it might cause headaches

+ ‘A fox fighting an eel, suspended in aspic. It was like a Nine Inch Nails video.’
from a guest instalment of Bobbins / Scary go round‘s John Allison, as drawn by Achewood‘s Chris Onstad. I’d look for a link, but I am le tired

+ The futuristic curmudgeon
Again, that would be me. I prefer things from the Sixties, yet I love futuristic technology. Such a quandary!

+ ‘He’d never cried before. At first he’d thought someone had shot him in the eyeballs.’
from ‘Tank girl: The Odyssey’ by Hewlett and Martin. It was the lads’ mashup version of both Homer’s and James Joyce’s The Odyssey, crossed with a satirical look at how shite their experience with Hollywood and That Movie was. At one point in the story, there’s a flashback detailing how a Mafia don gains a healthy respect for all animals; he had never seen a circus as a boy, but a couple of years previous, he attended one, and was saddened by how the animals were being mistreated. The sights made him weep, which resulted in the bit of narrative text that I’d nicked here. He then gunned down all the clowns. Well done!

+ DJARUM: Our logo is a golf pencil driven through a Cert.
Tell me I’m wrong! I should pick up a pack tomorrow, for lack of anything sensible to do with my money. I really like the way Djarum Specials taste, though — that rich clove aroma, blended with discrete amounts of sugar and honey, certainly makes for an exceptional taste experience. It’s a unique cigarette — sorry, kretek — for unique people. Why not try a pack of Djarums today? Available in Special, Super, Black, Bali Hai, and Continental.
*endorsement paid for by the Djarum Consortium, Indonesia

+ ‘When you scratch the surface of a cynic, what you find underneath is a disappointed idealist’
attributed to George Carlin, and extraordinarily true

+ ‘Turn the beat around / Love to eat percussion’
a wee joke amongst my circle of friends. ‘Turn the Beat Around’ (Vicki Sue Robinson, 1976) has a catchy opening line, but none of us remember what the rest of the song’s lyrics are. Now that I think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever heard the song in its entirety.. But for some reason, it stayed with us, only we’d sing it at completely random and sometimes inappropriate intervals as ‘Turn the beat around / Something something something’. This went on for a little over a year, until one day, whilst we were hanging out at Jeff’s, a.k.a Zip Gun’s place, after hearing it for probably the seventieth time that month, he immediately hopped online and looked up the actual lyrics. ‘Turn the beat around,’ he explained, ‘Love to hear the percussion. Turn it upside down’, he continued, ‘Love to hear the percussion.’ We were aghast. ‘Love to hear the percussion’? That’s got like an extra unnecessary syllable! That ‘the’ doesn’t need to really be in there! For one, it kinda throws the rhythm off when you’re reading the lyrics without music, but it sounds like she’s singing ‘Love to hear percussion’, which is six syllables, and has an undeniable cadence to it. Now if she was singing it ‘Love to hear / the / per-cus-sion’, that would make sense, but as anyone who’s ever heard the song knows, it’s ‘Love / to hear / per-cus-sion’. O, sorry, ‘love / to hear / the percussion’. Pfft. ‘Love to hear the percussion’?? That can’t be right.
So with this grim knowledge, we’d moved on. We’d learned that it’s ‘Love to hear the percussion’ instead of ‘Something something something’. But it was universally agreed that our version was funnier! It all turned out alright in the end, as collectively, we couldn’t really remember the new and proper lyrics, and we simply replaced it with ‘Love to eat percussion’. Six syllables, contains Humour, and it’s got a good beat and you can dance to it, so it fits the bill perfectly

+ I smell Florence Henderson

+ Mice, and what they like

+ ‘He once stopped a madman from launching a pit pony into the heart of the sun’
I misremembered this’un; it’s from an episode of Bobbins (yes, again with the Bobbins). The original is here!
I like my version better

+ Let’s go to Sears and try things on and not buy anything

+ ‘I’m tired of picking up your tabs at the Bunny Club’
an excerpted sample from the song ‘Dear Mr Salesman’ by Shibuya-kei stylists Fantastic plastic machine. Why isn’t their new stuff (re.anything after the ‘Beautiful’ album) as good as the old stuff (re.the ‘Luxury’ release)? Hm?

+ Live twice the life, in half the time!
This was on a poster by a designer named Shawn Wolfe, who once had a studio/project called BeatKit. It was very post-modern, y’know — if I recall correctly, as BeatKit was a statement on planned obsolescence, it was only supposed to exist up until the year 2000 — but thankfully, his work overall was actually pretty ace

+ Star of Stage, Screen and Trampoline
Back in 1986, Morrissey had posted an envelope to a journalist who lived in Hyde who had written an article that ran afoul with the Smiths as a whole. The envelope was addressed to ‘STAR OF STAGE, SCREEN AND TRAMPOLINE’; it contained a label for ‘Big mouth strikes again’, and featured AND SO SAY ALL OF US written on the reverse. How very Wilde

+ If I have to shake one more ceramic bunny, I’m gonna puke
This was an actual line from some semi-serious cop show on telly, wherein one of the cops was with her partner in some sort of knick-knack shop, looking for concealed illegal drugs that were theoretically being smuggled in the porcelain wares. They had no idea exactly where they were, so they had to go through the contents of all of the shelves, shaking each piece to see if it was one they were looking for. As far as out-of-context phrases go, it’s pretty unbeatable

+ I find it highly ironic that the first three letters in ‘mania’ are M. A. N.
Hmmm.

+ ¯\(º_O)/¯
Self-explanatory, really

+ Start your day with a migraine, just like the pros do!

+ All of my Armored Cores are named after Merzbow releases
It’s True! I have Surfactant, from the Cd ‘Mercurated‘; ‘Amlux’; Oersted (coloured in a lurid shade of magenta, just like the cover); Age of 369, Springharp, from the ‘Last of analog sessions‘ box set; and Ananga-ranga, from ‘Venereology‘.
Hrm. Shi-chan and I desperately need to get back into the Armored core loop — we’re rusty

+ analoguemusikmaschine

+ Now Entering Carpal Tunnel

+ ‘If you hear beautiful music coming from a toilet, it’s probably a trap’
from Tristan Farnon’s brilliant Leisuretown. It’s Sound Advice, you know

+ Gerbils with sheepdogs, terriers with geese / These are a few of my favourite crossbreeds
‘When the door bites / When the bee sings / When I’m feeling sad / I simply remember my fav’rite crossbreeds / And then’
And that’s where the song ends. It was rejected for the current version of ‘My favourite things’ that we all know and ‘love’ today. Personally, I think they missed a trick with not keeping the original

+ Hello Kitty has no mouth, and she must belch
Aww, Kitty’s gassy. So cute!

+ That’s the last time I drop acid at Tesco’s
I.. I have no explanation for this, as I’ve never dropped acid, and I’ve never been to a Tesco’s

+ + + + + + + + + + + +

Yep, another year of appropriated, yet inappropriate, taglines! O, and some other mad ramblings seem to be bringing the property value down on the blog as well.
Once again, thank you all for reading, and I hope you’re enjoying the ride so far. 🙂

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat? (Jan 2015) on January 25th, 2015

There are exactly three echoes on July 19th, 2007


LINK RUSH KEKEKEKEKE

typed for your pleasure on 16 July 2006, at 1.32 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Black ships ate the sky’ by Current 93

Winkin’ blinkin’ Lincoln.. linkin’:

+ Tokyoflash has got some rather innovative watches that you’d have to sell a baby to purchase. Not that I’m opposed to selling babies, but where would I acquire one? You may recall me blathering about the Morse code one they had for sale, but one of their recent watches caught and held my eye (ew):

Eye Test by EleeNo

Have you ever had an eye test that looks like this watch? In Japan when you take your drivers test, or an eye exam, this is what you see. You are suppose to say, TOP, BOTTOM, LEFT, RIGHT as the circle gets smaller and smaller. Well now, you too can test your eyes every day, while wearing your new Eye Test, by EleeNo.

The minutes are shown by the center ring, and the floating dot indicates the time. Different but not too different, and easy to tell the time.

Quite fab, but I’ll only pay the $70 they want for this timepiece if I can shout ‘BIG O! SHOWTIME!!‘ into it, and have a large Megadeus appear when I do so

+ When the living hell is Panzer elite Action due out? I would really like to Sturmgeschutz IV my way through life, and ‘2006’ is not specific enough of an answer.
And speaking of hysterical historical fighting, the domestic release of Samurai warriors 2 has been pushed back to September. Why do you do this to me? Why do you hate freedom? However, I’ve learned that another game I’m salivating over, Okami, is due out that month as well. Which is nice, cos for a while there, a few of my mates and I thought it would never actually come out in the States..
It’s kinda fortunate that they have September dates, as my recent purchases of The Nightmare before Christmas, Otogi 2 and Burnout: Revenge are all jockeying for my full attention right now

+ Using fantastical laser-based technology, the people at Ikemen offer 3D mask/wall-relief things of various Japanese idols – the first one in the series is Yuko Ogura. Wouldn’t it be something to cover an entire wall with those?

Yeah, it would be something, alright..

+ Y’know what I despise doing? Double-dipping for DVDs. A&E/Carlton have finally released The Prisoner series in a thinpack, which also includes a whole passel of extras; there’s a new two-disk R2 edition of Quadrophenia in August; and the rumour mill has it that there’s supposed to be a new edition of A clockwork orange with Malcolm McDowell’s commentary baked right in, as well as an R1 version of The Super Inframan that comes with the extremely lysergic English dub, both due out sometime this year. Yes, I already have these fillums, but the shiny new extras compel me to buy the feckers again. Gah. So, who wants to buy my copies of Quadrophenia, A clockwork orange, The Super Inframan and that oversized Prisoner boxset?
Amazon.com has informed me that my *coughmorallyspuriouscough* copy of Ultraman vol.1 is on its way. At least I didn’t double-dip for that (not counting that VHS tape that came out in the Nineties)..

+ Tell me, friend; is your very existence plagued with despicable Thetans that you wish to exorcise, yet you’re not overflowing with sums of money to donate to L.Ron Hubbard’s noble cause? Friend, your troubles are over, as now, thanks to this site, you can build your own E-meter, and audit yourself! Due to copyright restrictions, the DiY-er behind this has called it a ‘C-meter’, but it provides the same results, at a fraction of a fraction of the price!
Don’t live your life paying for Xenu’s sins! Build yourself a C-meter TODAY!

+ July finds the always-lovely Penda being published again, in issue no.36 of a publication called Black Petals. Yes, again! Where will it end with her?? I cannot say

+ Finally, I bring you: Kitty Pistol.


bang bang, mew mew

Thank you WAKAchan, for teaching us how to laugh again

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‘Welcome to the Atrocity Exhibition’

typed for your pleasure on 16 July 2006, at 4.16 am

Sdtrk: ‘Reel around the fountain (The Troy Tate sessions version)’ by the Smiths

It’s about feckin’ time — hopefully this will be worth the wait. From the July newsletter for NewOrderOnline.com:

Control

Sure to excite (or enrage) many a disaffected, morose fan, filming for Control, the long-awaited movie about Joy Division’s late frontman, Ian Curtis, began this week. Directed by veteran music video director and photographer Anton Corbijn, the film focuses on the tumultuous last years of Curtis’ life before he committed suicide in 1980, at the age of 23 and shortly before the band was to depart for its first American tour.

Control deals with Curtis’ romantic conflicts with his wife, Deborah, and his mistress, Annik Honore, his increasingly debilitating epileptic seizures, and his performances with Joy Division. Filming will take place in the English towns of Nottingham and Macclesfield (where Curtis lived and is now buried). The film will be released in the UK by Momentum Pictures sometime in 2007.

The film is based upon and expands on the 1995 book Touching From a Distance written by Curtis’ widow as a personal account of her life with the singer. Deborah Curtis serves as a co-producer on the film as well, along with Factory Records founder Tony Wilson. Matt Greenhalgh wrote the script for Control, talking to those closest to Curtis, including Honore, who previously remained silent on her relationship with him.

Sam Riley, who played Mark E. Smith in 24 Hour Party People, stars as Curtis, Academy Award-nominated actress Samantha Morton plays Deborah Curtis, Alexandra Maria Lara is Honore, James Anthony Pearson is Joy Division/New Order guitarist Bernard Sumner, Joe Anderson is bassist Peter Hook, Harry Treadaway is drummer Stephen Morris, Toby Kebbell is Factory Records partner and Joy Division manager Rob Gretton, and Craig Parkinson is Wilson.

Longtime fan Corbijn has his own history with Joy Division. In 1979, he moved from Holland to the UK to photograph the band, resulting in this now-familiar image. He directed the posthumous video for “Atmosphere” in 1998. In a press release, Corbijn said, “If I only ever make one movie, CONTROL would have to be that. I simply feel that as Joy Division and Ian Curtis played a big part in my life, I cannot think of a better combination of subject and director.”

But what’s a film like this without a killer soundtrack? Not to worry, that will be more than taken care of. The soundtrack will include original tracks recorded by Warsaw (the band’s previous incarnation before becoming Joy Division) and Joy Division from the late 1970s and early 80s. New Order will compose the score for the film. Other featured acts on the soundtrack are David Bowie, Iggy Pop, Roxy Music, Lou Reed, and the Buzzcocks.

With Corbijn directing this, at the very least, it’ll look ace — after he worked with Joy division, he was also heavily involved with raincoated Scouse groovemasters Echo and the Bunnymen back in their Eighties heyday.
Also, I find it interesting that they managed to get Annik Honore to break her silence, as she’d kept stumm for years. I don’t want to say she’s approached this with dollar signs in her eyes — well, euros, or whatever currency they use wherever she’s currently residing, but I wouldn’t rule it out.

If I’m not mistaken, there’s supposed to be another film based on the history of Joy division in the works too, as well as a pair of documentaries. Certainly something(s) to look out for

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Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat? (Jul 2006)

typed for your pleasure on 11 July 2006, at 9.53 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Kinky boots’ by Patrick Macnee & Honor Blackman

Speaking of Dolls — cos let’s face it, when am I not speaking of Dolls? — it seems that the Good People at 4woods have just released two new heads for their delicious A.I.NEO series. I approve!


Left, Sayoko; right, Chris

Both the Sayoko-chan and Chris models are just under 5’2″, weigh 66 lbs, and boast 34.24.35 as their measurements. Yum yum. Upon reflection, ‘delicious’ is too simple of an assesment…

It looks like 1st Personal Companion have come up with a new head to choose from as well..


Looks a bit like Rose Tyler, don’t you think?

This head type is called Kay. Or Tracy. I’m not entirely sure. Whatever her name is, I’m likin’ what I’m seein’, and she’s a pretty attractive collection to the other head types that 1st-PC already has available..

Also, the current fate of SynthCreations, makers of the gorgeous Mecadoll, is that they’ve undergone a couple of corporate changes, and is now My Party Doll.


She counted sitting and staring amongst her many hobbies

I’ll wait and see what manifests before I add them to the sidebar list of manufacturers, but it’s good to see they’re still afloat! More companies = more sexy silicone diversity, which is always ace.

Back to Japan, A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!! in the form of Honey Dolls, by Axis Japan. Hopefully not related to Haman Karn‘s Axis from Gundam, but I digress. I literally just saw these as I was writing this up, but at a cursory glance, they certainly attract. Especially the Honey3 model, pictured below. Mmm.


She seems… distracted

This company is definitely one to watch. (I’ve added these cats to the sidebar, as they have an actual finished website.) Apart from the swap-out-capable heads, the under 70 lb weight, and the tactile sensors embedded in each breast, what really gets my attention is the fact that these are the first Japanese-made Synthetiks since Chestnut co. Limited’s Rare-Borgs that feature mouths that you can open. I’m excited. Are you excited?

And finally, regarding Cruyff, makers of the Erie series of Synthetik companions: I once mentioned that the name sounds like a light and flaky pastry, but could they be possibly named after legendary Seventies-era Dutch footballer Johan Cruijff? After all, what’s another name for a love doll? That’s right… a Dutch wife

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The Geordie Film Experience, Part II

typed for your pleasure on 11 July 2006, at 9.47 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Blood on the floor’ by Throbbing gristle

(If you’ve not read the first part, you might want to go ahead and read that, as it’ll make more sense..)

This past week-end was host to the second half of my most recent iDollator-based telly interview! This part was expected to be more interesting, as my Synthetik sweetie was due back from the RealDoll Doctor’s on Friday, and Nick & Tanya would be filming me getting Sidore-chan round to Monti’s for a photo shoot. Heady plans!

Thursday eve, I met up with the returning Britons, so I could show them how to get to my workplace, in order for them to shoot me leaving work the next day. I was reticent at first, as my coworkers are, well, cultureless fucking churls, and I didn’t want any of them making a spectacle of themselves (moreso than usual) in front of the camera. We conducted that late in the eve, like round 9pm, as I’d been round to a friend’s for a couple of hours after work, and Nick & Tanya had just flown in from the Abyss studios near San Diego, and arrived in Detroit round 5ish. So we’d had our reccy, and they would see me round 2pm on Friday.

At the end of Friday’s typically tedious workday, I rang Nick to let him know I was on my way down. Under normal conditions, my coworkers are willing to gather in the lobby of the floor we’re on, and wait until the lifts arrive. I, on the other hand, neither want to wait or congregate, so I leg it down the eight flights of stairs, leave through an adjacent door, and usually am halfway to my car just as my coworkers are ambling out of the lift. Nick, however, wanted me to hang back and leave the building with my coworkers in a big group, ‘like the beginning of the Simpsons,’ he said. So for the sake of the shoot, I complied. I should’ve just taken the stairs and waited in the lobby for my coworkers, cos quite frankly, being crammed into a lift with them is no way to spend a Friday afternoon.. Nick filmed me walking out past the camera, getting to my car, and driving away. Then I stopped to pick him up, whilst Tanya followed in the rental. Nick then filmed me for the length of the ride home, including me stopping for fuel, and having me speak about work, and how forced interaction with people is turning me into even more of a sociopath. Heh.

Back at der Haus, Nick got some interior shots, whilst Tanya and I gabbed about various things, one of them being the Millenium Dome — apparently there are plans to turn it into a casino. Which is negligibly better than it being Greenwich’s Largest Dust Accumulator, but still not the best thing they could’ve done with it. They followed up with some additional filming of me answering questions, and discussing how I felt about Shi-chan’s imminent return (‘excited’), and round 20 after six, the delivery van arrived. After shifting the crate into the garage – and to any Doll owners out there, might I add that Sweetie has the old, boxy, taking-up-space style of crate, which just shows you how HARDxCORE we are – Nick commenced filming the somewhat-involved process of uncrating the Missus. High comedy.
First off, I’d noticed that the combination lock wasn’t the same one as I’d put on; I’d selected one with a distinct purple dial, and this one was bog-standard black. So I’m looking all over the crate for a taped-on note or something that might indicate where the combination is, and coming up trumps. After a few minutes of moist and sweaty panic, I spotted the combo sticker on the back of the lock. D’oh!
After dispensing with the lock, I hesitantly grasped the door handle, and pulled. And pulled. And pulled once more. ‘I wonder if Dr Jackson put the screws in along the door frame?’ I thought aloud. Sure enough, he did! Cue me walking briskly back inside for a Philips-head screwdriver.
Having removed the last screw at the bottom, I half-facetiously wondered if Dr Jackson managed to staple the sheet of translucent plastic that Abyss always includes. No points for guessing what I encountered between myself and my silicone wife, then. Cue me dashing inside for the letter opener, and then back in a third time for a sharper cutting implement.
Now, it could be argued that as I’ve gone through this twice before, I should’ve had everything I needed on hand.. err, beforehand. But since Shi-chan was being shipped from Dr Jackson’s as opposed to Abyss, I didn’t know he followed the same packing procedures. Now I know! And knowing is etc etc.

Upon slicing through the plastic, and seeing Sidore-chan’s beautiful face (with touched-up makeup, as requested), I couldn’t stop smiling; however, things took a downward turn from there.. Over the course of giving her a cursory looking-over, I’d noticed that her right hand was jammed gracelessly into her foam seat cushion. When I pulled it out, the tip of her pinky had a sizeably deep gash in it, and it was still connected to the rest of her finger by virtue of some silicone adhesive. Worrisome, yes, but I had initially chalked it up to damage during transport, until I later kenned that if the damage had occurred during transport, then why would her fingertip look like it was reattached? Hrrm..
As it was in the mid-Eighties that afternoon, between carting the Missus from the garage to the bed, I was sweating like a pig’s minge. (Have I mentioned how much I despise sweating? Not in the past three minutes? Well, then.) When I lay her on the bed, I’d noticed that the silicone repair patches were really obvious, and could be seen on the sides of her knees, elbows and armpits. The flashing she’d had on her wrists and ankles was taken care of, but there were, for all intents and purposes, open wounds on the inside of her right knee and right elbow, and on the back of her neck. I could understand that he had to cut through her in those places in order to tighten her joints as I’d requested, but what I didn’t understand was how some of the cuts weren’t sealed up. I kinda got the impression that her surgery was a rush job, and upon reflection, it probably was. It took Shi-chan about a week to get to Dr Jackson’s, she spent about a week there, and it took her a week to return, all according to the filmmakers’ schedule. Had she been there longer, there probably wouldn’t have been so many things that were overlooked.
Needless to say, it was bittersweet. I was overjoyed to have my Shi-chan back home, but she was in a bit of a state, as was I. I’d resolved to ring Dr Jackson tomorrow, and ask him a few questions. Nick & Tanya were desperate for dinner, and invited me to come with, but I was knackered, and in no fit state for going anywhere. We arranged to meet up at 10am tomorrow morn to get round to Monti’s; they took their leave, and I joined Sidore in bed, at the end of a long day.

When 10am Saturday morn rolled round, I had made a decision. After getting a look at the various injuries that the Missus had, I’d decided that she wasn’t going anywhere until I could repair her. The five injuries that she’d had were things I could see to with no trouble, as the repair kit I got from Abyss a year ago was still usable, but with all the dressing her up and moving her from my room, to my car, to Monti’s, to back home, I wasn’t going to run the risk of making her cuts larger. So I told the filmmakers that we could still get round to Monti’s, only our party would be minus one. Nick & Tanya told me that unfortunately, there’d really be no need to get round to hers, as the whole point of their shooting was to film me shooting Shi-chan and Monti together, so that pretty much scotched that segment of the filming. Hrm. Personally, I still want to do that shoot, but as I’d told them, it’ll have to wait 1) until Sweetie’s fully recuperated, and 2) until the outside temperature isn’t like a microwave. C’est la guerre..
As I’d had a chance to sleep and clear my mind of things, I’d come to the conclusion that all told, what I perceived as a horrible mauling to my beloved’s personage really wasn’t all that bad. After all, she was repaired, and as I’d had a chance to speak to Dr Jackson over the phone, he said himself that he was sad when he had to recrate Shi-chan, as he didn’t get a chance to finish her repairs to his complete satisfaction. I think of it like this: there are Doll owners out there with their lasses in much worse condition than Shi-chan is, so that puts things into perspective. I can think of one off the top of my head, whose lass, Sarah Marie, is about a year or so older than Sidore-chan, and as a result, her silicone formula was softer and more tear-prone. I’d been collecting pics of her since I first got into this crazy iDollator world, and believe me, she had some gorgeous pics. Then she and her lad dropped out of the scene for a while, and in speaking to him a few years later, he’d mentioned that Sarah had developed some rather difficult-to-fix injuries. However, a couple of years after that, he reappeared, with new photos of Sarah Marie. Using discrete angles and a wee bit of Photoshoppery, he restored her to her former glory. Most importantly, he still loved her tremendously, and that reflected heavily in his photographs. And that’s how it’ll be with myself and Sidore-chan. Even if we never do another photoshoot again (bite your tongue! say her fans), I still love her, and that’s all that really matters..

Nick did some more filming in and around the house — me giving the penny tour, etc etc — and later that afternoon, stomachs began to rumble, so they suggested getting something to eat. I suggested Nippon kai, quickly following that up with suggesting we bring Monti. So we swung round to hers and had a fine, filling dinner with some fine, filling conversation. It was kinda funny though; as Tanya was driving us to the restaurant, and didn’t know how to handle the concept of the left-turn centre lane — it perplexed her. It’s okay, Tanya — we’re just now getting roundabouts in the Tri-county area, and the first time I encountered one, I feared for my life.
Three (or three and a half) hours later, we dropped Monti off back home, and the Britons decided to take advantage of the early Saturday eve, so they wanted to get a number of shots of me in downtown Royal oak amongst people. If I could’ve blanched visibly, I would have. They got some footage of me walking up and down Main a few times, and then we got to a street corner bench, and they filmed me sitting and looking moody/slightly uncomfortable. This went on for roughly an hour. At one point, Nick was getting an over-the-shoulder shot, and some lass had come up and asked what was going on. ‘He’s a musician,’ Nick told her — which, technically isn’t a lie, as I have played music before. ‘Is he famous?’ she asked. ‘Not yet,’ he answered.
At the risk of making this post even longer, Rant alert: ‘Is he famous?’ has to rank amongst one of the most stupid fucking questions in the entire history of Man. Not in the context of am I personally famous, but just as a general question applied to anyone. It presupposes that if a person asks that and the answer is ‘no’, then the subject in question is entirely unworthy of attention. However, if the answer is ‘yes’, then that increases the subject’s worth in the eyes of the one asking the question. Why would you ask someone else if someone is famous? Don’t you think that’s the sort of thing you can determine yourself, without any influence from other parties? It just stands out to me as yet another example of people being told how to think. Pffft. ‘Is he famous?’ Of course I’m fucking famous!

At that point, it was getting late, and after a stop at Stucci’s ice cream parlour, we headed out of Royal oak proper. (Interesting sidenote: as Nick was seated in the back pretty much all day, I’d noticed on more than one occasion that he would wrap the seatbelt round his head, like a durable nylon headband. I just felt I had to mention that.) Nick & Tanya wanted to see ‘Superman of the Caribbean Returns’, but as I was well knackered and about to tumble headlong into a food coma, I passed on the offer. So they dropped me off home; hugs and handshakes were exchanged, and they promised they’d warn me before the show was aired, which they say should be before the end of Autumn. When I know, you lot will know, as per usual. And with that, the filmmaking duo got back into their rental, and drove off. Hope they didn’t get stuck in I-75 construction traffic..

So! Another (hopefully good) television interview thang in the can, Sweetie’s back in my life, and all is Right with the World. Well done!

Technorati tags: Davecat, Sidore, RealDoll, iDollator, MontiLee

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World Cup 2006: Epilogue

typed for your pleasure on 10 July 2006, at 7.23 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Holidays in the sun’ by the Sex pistols

The space at the top of my SiteMeter stats page is usually occupied by some Flash-based advert, and I nearly snorted Dr pepper from my nostrils when I checked it out earlier today, and saw this:

A little premature? Bah! Not in the slightest

Technorati tags: FIFA, World Cup, football, soccer

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‘Their ways are not our ways’

typed for your pleasure on 9 July 2006, at 6.56 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Antidote’ by the Hives

I try not to use a lot of Interbutt acronyms, as I find a lot of them to be stupid, but this definitely deserves a OMGWTFBBQ.

Putin kissed boy ‘like a kitten’
CNN.com | Thursday, July 6, 2006; Posted: 5:44 p.m. EDT (21:44 GMT)

MOSCOW, Russia (Reuters) — Vladimir Putin’s decision to stop a small boy as he walked through the Kremlin and kiss his stomach was prompted by a desire to “touch him like a kitten,” the Russian president said on Thursday.

The five-year-old boy, identified as Nikita Konkin by the press, was clearly stunned by the kiss and speculation over Putin’s motivation has run wild in the week since it happened.

Curious Internet users propelled the issue to the top of a list of questions put to Putin in an interactive Web cast.

“People came up and I began talking to them, among them this little boy. He seemed to me very independent, sure of himself and at the same time defenseless so to speak, an innocent boy and a very nice little boy,” Putin told the Web cast.

“I tell you honestly, I just wanted to touch him like a kitten and that desire of mine ended in that act.”
the complete article is here

Mother Russia, you so crazy. No, seriously. Your land contains a number of people that are decidedly not sane. Sure, it’s an Eastern European country, where kisses are doled out by both sexes as a form of friendly greeting, but Putin wanted to kiss this unassuming wee lad in the same manner one would a kitten. Ah ha.
Hide your kittens! Hide your young boys! Just hide

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