But I don’t even own a saucepan

typed for your pleasure on 9 December 2005, at 3.36 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Let’s go’ by New order

I’d say this is about 50% accurate. Well, maybe 65% accurate.


curious sofa
The Curious Sofa – You are quite sensual and love a good
romp in every sense of the word! People are drawn to you
and always want you to sit in their laps!

Which Edward Gorey Book Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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GIVE ME A GODDAMN BIG GULP OR I SHOOT

typed for your pleasure on 8 December 2005, at 10.44 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Et moi, et toi, et soie’ by Cléo

Heh. I’m thinking someone just managed to squeak by on their psychological tests.

Police: Officer Zaps Partner After Soda Dispute

POSTED: 7:19 am EST December 8, 2005

HAMTRAMCK, Mich. — Authorities said a police officer in Michigan used a Taser stun gun on his partner during an argument about stopping for a soft drink.

The suspect was fired after the Nov. 3 incident and is charged with assault.

Ronald Dupuis, 32, could get up to 93 days in jail if convicted.

Authorities said Dupuis asked partner Prema Graham to stop at a store for a soft drink, but she refused and instead kept driving back to headquarters.

Authorities said the partners struggled over the steering wheel, and Dupuis hit Graham’s leg with his department-issued Taser gun. She wasn’t seriously hurt.

Apart from the fact that she was tasered in the leg, of course.
At least his badge was revoked. And why only 93 days? Might as well round it off and make it a year, just to make sure. This is the sort of thing that further solidifies the idea that I’ve always held, that you really have to be a certain type of psychotic to become a police officer these days

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I’d forgotten how much I love working with people!

typed for your pleasure on 8 December 2005, at 5.21 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Your daddy’s car’ by The Divine comedy

As stated before, I don’t really plan on ever writing very much about my job on ‘Shouting etc etc’, cos it’s a hideous and dreadful position; however, yesterday’s workday stood out a bit, mainly due to its going-out-of-its-way-to-be-noticeable stupidity.

I work the first shift at a telemarketing fundraising place, which means I go in Monday – Friday, from 10am to 2pm. (Save your envy, I’m only getting paid $8 per hour.) On my shift, there are roughly 40 employees present, all doing the same bollocks I’m doing; calling churls in a couple of states, and requesting donations. Ever since Thanksgiving, though, the donations are down to a trickle, as people are obviously concentrating on buying gifts, giving to other charitable organisations and whatnot.

So over the course of the day, the two supervisors are walking up and down the aisles, loudly exhorting people to ‘speak up’ and ‘get strapped in’ and ‘knuckle down’ and other would-be motivational bullshit, but as anyone with a brain knows, all the loud talking in the world really won’t make a lick of difference, as it’s ultimately down to the person on the other end of the phone to decide whether or not they fire off a cheque or money order. Now, round the third hour of our day, our supervisor George — the fat surly one with a complete lack of a personality — goes up to the cubicles of several employees and speaks with them semi-privately. Shortly after, those employees collectively punch out and leave. It turned out that those particular employees hadn’t had a sale in a little over three hours, so they were sent home. The Fat Angel of Death merely passed by my doorway, as I had just gotten my first sale of the day fifteen minutes before then.

Now, maybe it’s just me, but does that not seem a little.. fucking stupid? Wouldn’t it make more sense to keep more employees in their seats in the hopes that they might get a donation, as opposed to having less people on the phones, and decreasing your chances? It’s the exact opposite of buying a mess of lottery tickets. That whole event struck me as being contra-productive at best, and petulant & childish at worst. Such a lovely work environment, I’m tellin’ yer.

I’d also just like to add that today, I wore my black cardigan with the HAL 9000 patch on it, and not one, but two coworkers, on two separate occasions, asked me what that patch was about. *grits teeth* Of course, in my mind, I’m screaming ‘have you never fucking seen “2001”??’ but then, I work in a place where more than a couple of people are into hip-hop. And when I say ‘more than a couple’, I mean ‘ninety-nine per cent’. Trying to explain something ‘artsy’ like ‘2001’ to these people is like.. well, I don’t want to say anything along the lines of ‘pearls before swine’, but you can’t say it doesn’t fit

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One side, Condé Nast*

typed for your pleasure on 6 December 2005, at 10.32 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Fallin’ in love’ by American spring

See, Veach? See what you’ve started??

Go handcraft your own magazine cover! Like you’re doing anything else with your time.
By the way, Veach; I’m looking at those questions you asked me last month, concerning Synthetiks and whatnot. Those’ll be answered in a week or so, as final exams are looming ominously on the horizon..

*I recall reading an article in a magazine somewhere a number of years ago, where the author mentioned that they were writing an article on MS Word. They had typed in the name ‘Condé Nast’, and the spellchecker had suggested ‘nasty condo’. I laughed

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Dual Doll upDate

typed for your pleasure on 4 December 2005, at 1.13 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Eleanor put your boots on’ by Franz Ferdinand

Yes, the title’s a pathetic grasp at something or other, you’ll have to excuse me.

Remember my mention of 4woods’ new A.I.NEO series? Well, the esteemed Ta-bo-san of ‘Ta-bo’s Kisekae dataroom’ has a new report up. Actually he’s got several reports on her up. The man certainly goes the distance. 🙂
Remember; if you can’t read Japanese, break out that Babelfish, and savvy Firefox users will already know about the lovely Translation panel extension..

And as I’ve just now sussed how to effectively use YouSendIt to my own twisted ends, I now present to you a brief .avi file of the Robot station MC version of Actroid-chan waving to her adoring crowds. The file will be up for seven days, so grab it immediatement. Hooray for YouSendIt!
DOWNLOAD: Actroid-chan waving (link has expired)

And on a completely unrelated note, I bought new pillows last night. It’s amazing what wonders the humble pillow can do for one’s sleeping

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der Flickr update

typed for your pleasure on 4 December 2005, at 1.08 am

Sdtrk: ‘Ashes to ashes’ by David Bowie

Just a brief notice to inform all and sundry that Sidore-chan’s Flickr account has had two new photoshoots uploaded, ‘Velveteen bodice’, and ‘Skirt & crop’.
We’ve already run into a bottleneck with Flickr; if you have the basic account, it’ll only allow you to create three sets. You can upload as many pics as you wish, but you can only group them into three sets, which is just ridiculous. You get what you pay for, I suppose, but we do apologise for the inconvenience..
This just fills me with more of a burning fervor to start working on redesigning ‘Kitten with a Whip!’ Well, not so much burning, really; it’s more of a smoulder. But it’s a pretty damn hot smoulder.

Nevertheless, enjoy the photos! Leave a tasteful and/or witty comment, as Shi-chan loves receiving tasteful and/or witty comments

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Like cute lil’ furry piranhas

typed for your pleasure on 2 December 2005, at 3.12 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Laid’ by James

Anyone that knows me at all knows that I love squirrels. They’re cute, and comical, and, err, cute. But after reading this.. now I’m not so sure.

Russian squirrel pack ‘kills dog’

Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.

Passers-by were too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute.

They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.

A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources, although scientists are sceptical.

The attack was reported in parkland in the centre of Lazo, a village in the Maritime Territory, and was witnessed by three local people.

A “big” stray dog was nosing about the trees and barking at squirrels hiding in branches overhead when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked, reports say.

“They literally gutted the dog,” local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper.

“When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking pieces of their kill away with them.”

Mikhail Tiyunov, a scientist in the region, said it was the first he had ever heard of such an attack.

While squirrels without sources of protein might attack birds’ nests, he said, the idea of them chewing a dog to death was “absurd”.

“If it really happened, things must be pretty bad in our forests,” he added.

Komosmolskaya Pravda notes that in a previous incident this autumn chipmunks terrorised cats in a part of the territory.

A Lazo man who called himself only Mikhalich said there had been “no pine cones at all” in the local forests this year.

“The little beasts are agitated because they have nothing to eat,” he added.

I am rendered speechless. If we cannot even trust our squirrels, what are we, as a nation, to do?
Well, so far it’s only Russia that has to worry about this. Nevertheless! Let us pray that these tree-dwelling ‘sharks of the woods’ don’t commandeer an ocean-going vessel, thereby bringing their ravenous hunger to our shores, or the shores of our neighbours. Cos once these squirrels have tasted blood, they’ll be like adorable little revenants, mark my words..

Squirrels! Who expects a pack of squirrels to eat a dog? Fuck it. The human race is doooooomed

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