What if The Human Torch were a mouse?

typed for your pleasure on 9 January 2006, at 3.31 pm

Sdtrk: ‘L’éducation’ by Aline

Mice! They’re small, they tend to squeak whether or not you’re squeezing them, and they keep chewing on stuff. Sometimes they wear little rollneck jumpers, and star in films. Despite the fact that cats seem to enjoy them, a lot of people don’t really like ’em. But I’ll tell you this: don’t fuck with them, or they’ll set your whole goddamn house on fire.

Blazing mouse sets fire to house

A US man who threw a mouse onto a pile of burning leaves could only watch in horror as it ran into his house and set the building ablaze.

Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner, New Mexico, found the mouse in his home and wanted to get rid of it.

“I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house,” he was quoted as saying by AP.

Though no-one was injured, the house and everything in it was destroyed.

“I’ve seen numerous house fires, but nothing as unique as this one,” Fire Department Captain Jim Lyssy said.

New Mexico has seen several major blazes after unseasonably dry and windy conditions which have destroyed 10 homes and devastated more than 53,000 acres (21,200 hectares) of land.

In a way, he kinda deserves what he got for throwing a live mouse into open flames, but nevertheless..
First we had to watch out for squirrels, now the mice are after us. THESE ARE TRULY THE END TIMES

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

'Did... did you just say she's Misogynist Squirrel??' on January 5th, 2011

O, deer on October 12th, 2004

7 have spoken to “What if The Human Torch were a mouse?”

  1. Tim writes:

    Just stopping by to haves an look around. “Knowing me, Knowing you”! ah ha! Davecat!

  2. Davecat writes:

    Knowing me, Davecat, knowing you, Tim Phillips, ah ha.
    Enjoy your looking! 🙂

  3. KrazyQ writes:

    If “The Human Torch” was a mouse, then it he would be called “The Mouse Torch”. Why would you call the mouse “The Human Torch”? Unless it was some kind of freaky mouse-human or human-mouse hybrid that is bend on world domination?

  4. SafeTinspector writes:

    The Human Torch Mouse which Yet Doth Speak!

  5. Davecat writes:

    The HuMouse Torch (That Roared)

  6. PBShelley writes:

    I saw this in the paper and almost cracked up, but thinking of the guy’s lost house kind of sobered me. Then I thought of the poor burning-alive little mouse, and then went ahead and laughed at the Instant Karma. Not at the wee little thing, either. I can see loosing it out into the field in back, or even perhaps NEXT to the burning pile, but to immolate any living creature… tsk!

    PBS & pissed-off Lily (even though she has a cat, she loves the tiny critters too)

  7. Davecat writes:

    Mr Mares has apparently never heard of the phrase ‘What comes around goes around’..
    I didn’t expect him to book the mouse an all-expenses paid trip to Glastonbury, but I mean, come on, squire — a bit of common sense goes a long way.

    Although, I can’t say that booking an airline flight for a mouse wouldn’t be funny. 🙂

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