This is where I get to tell you lot about my new job

typed for your pleasure on 17 November 2012, at 1.57 am

Sdtrk: ‘Sun eater 1′ by Noise/girl

If readers such as yourself have been following my Twitter feed, you might well be aware that I have a new job that’s much less soul-crushing than what I’m accustomed to! Err, you might know this; I didn’t really make a big deal about it. If you are somehow medically unable to use Twitter, well… I have a new job! It’s much less soul-crushing than what I’m accustomed to! There; now you’re caught up.

For the past half year, I’d been working with a temp service agency ever since the job I’d had (hereafter referred to as Aclims), ever since was… different than what I was initially told it would be. My resume is top-heavy with call centre positions — eighteen years’ worth, which is reason enough for starting an intimate relationship with heroin — and as a consequence, when potential employers see it, they say ‘Hey, here’s someone who obviously loves being on the phone!’ Every other week, I’d call the various temp agents, and they’d either say that the only places with positions available were call centres, or that no-one in the industries I wanted to get into were hiring. Since I went through so many agents, who apparently weren’t keen on comparing notes, every time we’d speak, they’d ask what I was looking for. ‘Data entry, imaging, proofreading, library work, things like that. I’m completely burnt out on call centres.’ Then that agent would disappear after a month, and someone new would call, with an exciting position at a call centre. That happened more often than I care to recall.
Imagine my surprise, then, when the latest agent offered me something that revolved round data entry, with very little to no opportunities to be on the phone, at the same pay scale as what I was making at Aclims! A dream come true? I’d sure as hell find out!

On the 26th of last month, after undergoing a 40min interview at the office of New Job, I was told that yes, I’d be doing data entry and nothing but. I wouldn’t even be on the phone! In fact, the only two downsides to the position would be the drive into downtown Detroit, which is something I’ve not done in years, and that it literally would be a temporary position. My task would be to enter raw data into their Intranet, so that it could be converted to the new system they’re about to implement, and the goal for that was February 2013. I’d asked if there’d be other data entry positions available after that deadline, and Ms P_______ said there wouldn’t be, unfortunately.
I was faced, then, with a quandary: remain at my current job, which every day nudges me closer to a messy-yet-effective ritual suicide, or start a new job that brings much more satisfaction, but for a limited time only? Well, you already know the answer; it’s there in the title.

Like most places of employment, Aclims prefers a two-week notice before quitting, but New Job would have me starting on 5 Nov. I went into Aclims on Monday, with the intention of working that day, the following day, and quitting Wednesday, but by the time I got upstairs, I couldn’t be arsed to even begin my last workdays there, and told my team leader that today would be my last day, so I could move on to greener, less-phone-related pastures. All told, I was going to need that week off to try to get used to waking up at a decent time…

As of today, it’s been ten days, and so far, I’d say this is the second best job I’ve ever had! I have an HID BADGE to get into the building and a DRAWER that requires a KEY to unlock it and I have POST-IT NOTES and ONE OF THOSE SHELF THINGS ON AN ARM WHERE YOU CAN PUT YOUR KEYBOARD and I am DRUNK WITH POWER. I’m in at 8am, beating most of the traffic, and out of there no later than 4pm, beating most of the traffic. Most importantly, I’m pretty much left to my own devices to listen to my Google Music library, and enter just under 7000 names and critical notes from several stacks of paper into the system. Rather makes me feel like one of the transcribers of the Domesday Book doing that, only I’m using a computer, and not a quill pen.
Of course, I’ll undoubtedly have to start scrambling for employment come January, but as I’m literally the only person in the office assigned this task, who knows if I myself can meet this deadline? Who can say if it doesn’t, say… stretch to April?? After all, I’m just one bloke! I’m reminded of the teenage girls hired to transcribe hours of tape to type out the draft for Andy Warhol’s a, A Novel. I think Gerard Malanga said that it seemed they were really taking their time about things — if you’ve read a, A Novel, you’ll know they weren’t especially careful about spellchecking or formatting — but Gerard speculated they were going slowly so they could hang out at the Factory longer. Can’t really blame ‘em!

Brief as the assignment may be, it’s definitely nice not having a throbbing pit of dread in my stomach every time I get ready for work. Good job, New Job!

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

512,000 ounces on April 25th, 2008

click 'Hello?' click 'Hello?' click 'Hello?' etc on November 21st, 2005

11 have spoken to “This is where I get to tell you lot about my new job”

  1. Andy writes:

    That’s great. Congratulations. I hope for you that it may last longer than planned – somehow.

  2. Isabel writes:

    I knew you didn’t like your old job but I had no idea it was that “soul crushing” as you put it. I’m really happy for you. It’s great that you feel so much better in your new job. I wish you the best of luck.

  3. bbbjjjttt writes:

    Sounds FAB, and I hope they will be sufficiently impressed with you that they will attempt to shoehorn you into some sort of permanent position when this one ends!

  4. Donna writes:

    I adore the excitement that shines through in this post! Congratulations! I’m so happy for you!

  5. Peter Synthetik & Miss July writes:

    Hi there !
    That`s a lot of information – to much for our little brains.
    I try to work it up :
    We love that HRP-4C/Miim,but does “model kit” mean you have to put it together and colour it ?
    Izi is beautiful – I love her legs and sad face. It`s great that she`s from Korea – like this Psy guy.
    You see Anne Hathaway in her ?- I love her in get smart and she was brilliant as host of last years oscars.
    That Amber/Sidore photo is very sweet !

    I know only Dr. Dre – but Drew ?
    Nobody should invite you 2 to a chat/talkshow and give you $5000 ! You should get your own show on NBC/CBS or Comedy Central and receive 40 or better $60 000 – there you and Sidore could invite Anne Hathaway and give her make up tips (no red lips please).
    I agree with you – I`m also hate performing in front of a live crowd.

    The 40th birthday…well well –
    you are loosing 1/2 of your “man” hormone ( is it testosteron ?).
    I never learned to celebrate my birthday.
    You are going to eat (alone ?)at your favourite sushi and the show does`t happen – sounds like fun.

    A new job !
    I never quit a job,I always was fired.The last one I did for 21 years – they could`t fire me,but they sended me at home and I get some kind of pension.
    Quitting an unlimited job for a 4 month one does`t sound like the real deal.
    What`s wrong with hanging on a telephone and using your voice ?
    I hope,this isn`t the start of a midlifecrisis !
    If something/somebody makes me wanna die,I stop thinking about it – and the best medicine against bad mood are a lot of bananas and milk.

  6. veach writes:

    Ahh yes. Medically unable to tweet (mutt), that’s the ticket I’ve been looking for. An unfortunate micro-blogging allergy has kept me out of the loop.

    It’s not a penchant for quality.

    It’s not a disdain for unedited blip-bytes of 143 characters or less.

    I am afflicted…with mutt. I have MUTT. I’m a mutt.

  7. Davecat writes:

    Andy —
    Thanks for the congrats! And nice Gravatar of sweet Amy there, even though it seems that you might’ve had some issues getting a Gravatar started, going by your username. :-)

    Isabel —
    Thanks to you, too! I dunno; a lot of what I’d encountered in my previous job was shoddy management, coupled with being on the phone with people who really didn’t have two braincells to rub together. As you’re aware, I’m not a people person to begin with, and having to interact with individuals like that on a daily basis wasn’t helping. I’m not a work person, for that matter, but it really depends on the job…

    bjtbjtbjt —
    What I lack in workforce conformity, I make up for in charm. :-)

    Donna —
    *Internet fistbump* As The Divine Comedy sang, you have to got to love what you do. Love’s a strong word in this context — all told, I’d rather be a PR person for any humanoid robotics firm that would hire me — but I certainly don’t hate what I’m doing. And that’s a definite step up.
    Now we just need to secure you a steady gig. Or a publisher, one or the other…

  8. Davecat writes:

    Mr and Ms Synthetik
    Well, the Miim-chan kit comes pre-coloured, but assembly is required. Even though I haven’t built a model in over a decade, it looks easy enough… I say that now, of course :-)

    Izi certainly has a special charm about her! She could be from Gangnam, but hopefully she wouldn’t be uppity like a lot of Gangnam citizens. And she reminds me of Anne Hathaway and Kristen Ritter, in that they’re tall, pale, and thin brunettes. Izi could pass for a model like them! Well, technically speaking, she is a model. ;-)
    And glad you like the Amber/Sidore photo!

    Dr Drew’s a chat show host whose two main focuses are addictions and relationships. He’s been doing his thing on telly and radio for probably more than a decade. People seem to like him, but people like a lot of things, really.

    O gods. I wouldn’t want a telly show; it’d be far too much of a hassle! Unless it was a show about Dolls, Gynoids, Androids and robots, and not about me; that would make far more sense. I won’t say no to being a host on something like that! Plus $60,000 is a good place to start!

    I used to have a Noise/Power-electronics project called Wreath.VCA (technically, I still do; I just haven’t recorded anything in over ten years), and I always wanted to play a live show, but 1) as it was just me, I used multitrack recording, and 2) sometimes, things sound better in the studio. I love live shows, but I don’t know if I could’ve been on the stage, versus looking at the stage.

    It was a sedate birthday! And all that testosterone… well, too much of it causes your brain to shrink, so I think I’m okay with that. :-)

    Being sent home with a pension isn’t a bad deal overall!
    The previous job I’d had was the first one in a while where I quit on my terms, as opposed to being ejected, so that was a nice feeling, too. But even if the job’s rubbish, I never quit unless I find something better. I don’t like jumping without a parachute!

    Regarding using my voice: At one of the call centres I worked at for several years, it was a situation with loads of people — most of them filthy — packed in an office, spreading their germs, combined with talking nearly nonstop for eight hours a day, five days a week had me losing my voice three Winters in a row. I liked not being at work for a week while I recovered, but not being able to speak above a whisper is no way to live. Three years in a row. Enough is enough, really.
    And my only midlife crisis is that I’m not working as a PR person for a humanoid robotics firm, or hosting a telly show about Synthetiks! :-)

    veach —
    You’ve got MUTT, huh? Really. Can I see a note from your doctor, please?

  9. PBShelley writes:

    Belated congrats on the new gig! A lot of times these temp jobs lead to permanent employment, so hang in there, but do plan for when the paycheck will be stopping. Like I should talk LOL!

    Good on ya! :-D

  10. Davecat writes:

    There really is nothing like the feeling of having a job that you don’t mind going to; it does loads for one’s well-being. It’s not my ideal job (see Synthetiks company PR person gig above), but it makes for a better Monday through Friday experience, which of course makes for better living. Now we just need to do the same for you, sir! :-)

  11. PBShelley writes:

    Agreed. Better living = the thing to aspire to. It doesn’t matter what your job is, as long as you can live in relative comfort. I can see a slogan:

    “Better Living: Making the World a Better Place. Duh.”

    LET’S DO THIS. I’m still trying but sick of it.

    I doubt that I’ll catch a break here. (He says after over 200 applications in 18 months.) There’s an unfortunate bias against “older” workers here in Cali, despite its (discrimination) being against the law. Managers here don’t want to hire those in a “protected class”, which one is automatically in at 54. So they simply flip to the next applicant if they have one, and they usually do. Isn’t it nice to not have to obey the law when it’s inconvenient. (<– rhetorical, not even a question)

    So I have that hurdle, plus the eight-year gap in employment while I was WORKING writing my book. Plus this new-and-improved three-year gap since my last job. I think that's strike three. God I hate these people/that process/this system. Just hateful.

    And they call doll-owners reprobates, hah! THEY'RE MAKING ME ONE :-(

    So screw it; I'll just try to put my book out there (soon!) and trust in the Readers that they'll love the story enough to enable me to land MY dream job: Writing for THEM xD

    But I might still be itching to move, so who knows? "Gettin' out of Dodge" has a nice ring to it, doncha think? Keep eyes & ears open for potential situations for Lily and I ;-)

    Regards to you and the Missus from all of us :-)

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