Machines 4, Fleshlings 0

typed for your pleasure on 23 February 2008, at 12.30 am

Sdtrk: ‘We are coming back to dance with you’ by The focus group

Fuck me rigid. I have been asleep for literally twelve hours straight. Why? I’ve got another flu! FUCKING AWESOME.

I swear to christ, I am sick of being sick. As I’ve been lamenting to my friends anyone who will listen, I’ve been ill off and on with supercolds and the occasional flu consistently since late last September. If the climate isn’t bitterly cold, I’m either getting it from friends, or from my godforsaken coworkers. Remember how I mentioned how Tsukihime had it? I managed to either avoid it directly, or it was just building up inside me, as while I was at work last night, I was getting the occasional shiver. When I woke up Friday morning, I felt as if someone had taken me by the shoulders and shaken me for an hour. Needless to say, I called in.
It’s definitely a flu, as I’ve got the symptoms: the slow-motion walk, muscle fatigue, being simultaneously too cold and too hot, dizziness, everything tasting like iron filings. But y’know the thing about this timing that really gets on my wick? A cluster of us Michigan-area iDollators are supposed to have another Congress this week-end! Goddamnit.

If you want me, I’ll be in my coffin. This is ridiculous

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Excuses, excuses

typed for your pleasure on 28 November 2007, at 8.57 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Three-way’ by Magnetic fields

Apart from the previous post, which is again due to an inside tip from the Inspector of Safe Tea, I do believe I’m in another writing slump! Let’s analyse the possible reasons:

+ Found a new copy of Half-life 2 for the XBLOX at a Kmart for $5 USD. I’d always wanted to play it before, but the computer I owned at the time was woefully inadequate for running it. But now, I can catch up on all the fun that my mates were having back in 2004! So for Xmas 2007, I would like a gravity gun

+ When I’m not busy playing that, I’m logging far too many hours in on Warriors Orochi, as previously mentioned in this post. Short of unlocking four or five of the seventy-odd characters, finishing about eight stages, and grinding various characters’ levels, I’m all done! In short, I have much work to do

+ Getting Deafening silence Plus in some semblance of order. Yes, still. It’s actually 98% done — the dining area is now home to IKEA’s priced-to-move LAVER table and four chairs set — but the only major task that still needs to be done is to move my loveseat in. Which I could do myself if I had a gravity gun. Honestly, the most time-consuming thing, though, was setting up my vast collection of figures and toys collectibles into a stunning tableau, which I think I’ve finally accomplished, praise “Bob”.

Click here for full-sized version; opens in new window

Not pictured: the other third of my collection, either up against the adjoining wall, or in boxes about to be deployed, once I get more rack shelving.

+ And Reason Number the First: I’ve been feeling under the weather again. Yes, again. Monday I awakened with a dull ache in my guts, which intensified and moved upwards from my stomach into my chest whenever I belched or breathed too deeply. I mentioned this to Steph when she and I were buying sushi from our usual place with her hubby Derek Tuesday night, and she said my symptoms sounded quite a lot like when she was getting pneumonia. Heh, check that off of my List of Things to Do! Thankfully, upon seeing my GP this morn, he diagnosed it was heartburn. Heartburn! Exacerbated by post-nasal drip, as the weather’s been bitterly cold lately, but heartburn! He gave me prescriptions for Prilosec and Flonase, and kicked me unceremoniously out of his office for wasting his precious time.
In my defence, I’ve never had heartburn this bad before. That shit hurts when it migrates up my torso. Lesson learned? Don’t eat an hour before bedtime. in fact, just don’t eat, to be absolutely certain.

So yeah! I’ll be in Writing Form again soon, I’m sure. Or something?

O, and speaking of Xmas, my friends (you know who you are) would do well to update their Amazon wish lists. Just sayin’. Here’s mine! Also just sayin’.
Remember, my rules for Xmas apply just like they have for the past couple of years: everyone gets a Xmas prezzie, just not necessarily at Xmas

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(still absent)

typed for your pleasure on 16 September 2007, at 4.37 pm

Sdtrk: ‘No more trains’ by Braille

When it comes to Things That Are Most Likely to Prevent Effective Moving, one of the top three things cited will be Getting the Flu. That’s right. For fuck’s sake. As of this writing, though, I’ve had it for three days, and with the help of copious draughts of Alka-seltzer and more sleep than the human body is meant to have in a 12-hour period, I’m fighting this thing. Surely there are better ways to spend one’s time?

A little while back, barstowmama forwarded me the honour of the Blogging Star Award! ‘This is for meritorious work in blogging and telling things as they are. Keep up the good work!’ she says, which leads me to believe that she’s confused ‘Shouting etc etc’ for some other blog entirely. Nevertheless, thanks very much!
So have you seen her YouTube channel yet? You should.

Also, part two of Violet Blue’s article for the SFGate, ‘The Rape of the Real Doll‘ is available for intense perusal. Oddly enough, a lot of the comments on it are blasting her for seemingly copying and pasting sizeable sections from the post I wrote on ‘Lars and the Real Girl‘ a while ago. Wow. Can you say ‘missing the point’? Personally, if I find that someone has said something that I either agree with or wholeheartedly back, I’d rather quote them first, as it just makes more sense to me. Besides, I’m really left with the impression that had she not been writing about RealDolls, people wouldn’t have been so critical. But you know how it is with these things…

Right, I’m going to try to cram more boxes full of books, then I intend on rewarding my good work with starting to watch my burned Cd-ROMs of either Turn A Gundam or Kamen rider 555. But… which one?? zOMG

Technorati tags: Violet Blue, RealDolls, Turn A Gundam, Kamen rider Faiz, flu

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typed for your pleasure on 16 July 2007, at 8.06 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Mass riff’ by Stereolab

Finally: a name worthy of a Benny Hill character.

*chortle chortle*
She didn’t pick up. Which was disappointing, as I’d really wanted to reply to any and all statements she made with a saucy ‘Ooh matron!’
And another heartwarming scene from my workplace…

ME: Hi, I’m Dave [horrid last name], calling from [Blazing Shithole Industries]. How are ya this afternoon?
AGEING TOSSER: I just got back from the doctor.
ME: Heh, is that Good or Bad?
AGEING TOSSER: Good and bad.
ME: A little bit of both, eh?
AGEING TOSSER: I have to go change my clothes; I just peed my pants.
ME: Aaah… *hangs up quickly*

Brilliant. Yet another reason to not get old

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None dare call it ‘rambling’

typed for your pleasure on 27 June 2007, at 9.08 pm

Sdtrk: ‘All I need to hear’ by Candie Payne

Well! It has been UNTOLERABLY FUCK HOT the past couple of days, what with the late-80s-to-upper-90s that we’ve been beset with here in the state. Christ in shitty knickers, it’s been hideous. How can people willingly leave their homes and go out for ‘fun’ in weather like that?? It baffles me completely.

As it so happens, I was forced out into oven heat today, for my follow-up dental appointment to have my root canals sealed up for all time. We also started doing a crown or two. I’ll not get into detail, but let’s just say that it took longer than last time, hurt more than last time, and at one memorable point, I was gushing so much blood that I thought my mouth was having its period. I say no more.
Odhinn only knows why I’m even publically keeping up with my dental reconstruction tales, apart from legitimising the brand spank-me new ‘Body horror’ subcategory. Have you not seen it? It’s under the ‘What the’ category, and rightly so.

Before I returned home, though, I purchased the final volume of Death note (which I can’t wait to read) and Raw danger, the long-awaited sequel to Disaster report, for the PS2 (which I can’t wait to play). Now I have to catch up on buying vols. 6 – whatever of Naoki Urasawa’s Monster, as well as finally breaking down and getting Armored core: Last RavenShi-chan and I are so out of the Armored core loop, it’s appalling. We’re only two missions in to Armored core: Nexus! sssh, don’t tell anyone.

Anyway, so apparently BBC America aired ‘Love me, love my Doll‘ (aka Nick Holt’s ‘Guys and Dolls’) this Sunday past. Checking my site stats as usual, I’d noticed a passel of hits resulting from Google searches for ‘love doll’, ‘davecat’, ‘sidore’, real doll’, etc etc. I had no idea that it was even going to be shown in the States, and frankly, I prefer that the majority of the film/telly appearances that Sweetie and I make are only broadcast overseas, for paranoid obvious reasons, but luckily, most Americans don’t know BBC America even exists, as it’s not owned by Rupert Murdoch, nor does it have anything to do with NASCAR. Nevertheless, Sidore-chan and I wish visitors stopping round because of that a grand Hallo! Unless, of course, you happen to be a cultureless troll; in which case, why aint’cha watchin’ NASCAR?
When I came home Monday eve, however, there was an incoming message via YIM, from a person I’d never heard of before, enquiring if I wouldn’t mind answering a few questions. Jennifer Haughton, an ex-pat from England, was writing a piece for University of Southern California’s campus paper about Dolls and their owners, having been inspired by seeing ‘Love me, love my Doll’. So after making certain she wasn’t a ‘bot — spambot, not robot, as the latter is obviously more preferable — we chatted for about an hour, and you can witness the results here. It’s a puff piece, but ultimately harmless…

Also, if you like horror, or just fiction with a sinister bent — and who wouldn’t? — you’ll be pleased to know that Monti’s little black duck sampler anthology is hot off the presses and ready to be downloaded. It’s available in many formats for eReading, or a .pdf for just plain tree-killin’ reading, but it contains three complete short stories, and the first chapter of a work in progress. Technically, the sampler can be categorised as Summer reading, so get downloading!

Finally, this would be post no.501. HERE COME THE DRUMS HERE COME THE DRUMS

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The mouth: Gateway to the head

typed for your pleasure on 23 June 2007, at 8.04 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Great destroyers’ by NON

Little sociological experiment: What you’re reading now was written Friday evening whilst at work. I wrote this to distract myself from the nigh-biblical amount of pain situated in the right side of my mouth. You see, *cue flashback dissolve* this past Wednesday, I had root canals done on two of my front teeth. The process itself, I have to say, was remarkably swift: at first, I wasn’t sure if I wanted both done at once, as I really didn’t relish the idea of being sat in the dentist’s chair for an interminable period of time, whilst they got to work with their rusty saws and blood-caked chisels, but after he painlessly finished one in under ten minutes, I relented, and he did the other just as quickly. Apparently, the nerves in both teeth were dead. Which is alright, really, as we weren’t all that close. So after scheduling to get the core fills for both teeth done next week, and despite the localised anaesthetic making me sound like Sean Connery, I jauntily walked out of there to attend to the rest of the day’s errands.
Two hours later, however, was a different story, as the blessing of the anaesthetic wore off, and I was feeling like someone had popped me in the mouth with a claw hammer. I ended my errand run early, drove home, and immediately tumbled headlong into bed, not waking up until my friend Tsukihime phoned me three hours later.

Now, here’s the funny (ha ha ow) bit: as I’d mentioned, during the drilling itself, I didn’t feel anything averse. In fact, I gave several enthusiastic thumbs-up whenever he asked me how I was. Then, while out and about a few hours later, my body suddenly realised that hey, someone had just been excavating in your feckin’ mouth, and the appropriate reaction was one of a heady and persistent ache. But! My pain level the day of the actual visit wasn’t nearly as bad as it was like two days later, which brings us to this eve. *flashback dissolve*

So! During the final leg of my wonderful amazing fantastical 5.30 – midnight Friday eve shift — yes, I’m aware it’s nonsensical and sucks cock, don’t remind me — that throbbing feeling above the teeth that had been worked on came back with a roaring vengeance, and I’d taken my last ibuprofen about four hours ago. I actually had to stand up and ask one of the managers if the office had a secret cache of IB I could possibly dip into, but alas, no. Hardly a surprise, cos they’re barely equipped with what they’re supposed to be stocked with half the time, at any rate. Luckily, a coworker had some 600mg prescription IB, which just managed to do the business. Lesson learned: Please pass the horse tranquilisers!

It’s been several days since my adventures in modern (pronounced ‘modren’) dentistry, and I have to say that my mouth still hurts. If I’m not careful when I eat or speak, I’ll nick the tip of one of those teeth with one of my lower ones, and everything goes red for a blinding moment, and every other word is preceded by an expletive for a minute or so. I mean, moreso than usual. For a couple of dead nerves, they certainly still hurt like blazing fuck. Knowing my luck, they’re probably undead. We weren’t all that close, y’know.

Originally, I think I had a point when I started writing this, but it’s long since fled; the pain undoubtedly drove it away.
Wow. I think this is the reason I don’t write too often about my personal experiences. Seven shades of uninteresting

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Outside is hostile

typed for your pleasure on 30 May 2007, at 5.53 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Cookie bay’ by the High Llamas

In all honesty, I was going to write something and post it, as it’s been a bit, but between visiting the dentist (painful), and being outside in today’s 90°F weather (double painful), the idea for whatever stunning post I was gonna write has been effectively shot several times in the face.
On the upside, however, I bought a new DVD player whilst out-of-doors that I’ve ‘hacked’ to be region-free, traded a number of DVDs in at Thomas Video, our local cult video store, using the credit to order the new Brothers Quay collection DVD, and preordered the R2 DVD of ‘if….’, exclusive to Why this version over the domestic Criterion one, you enquire? The accompanying free screenplay swayed my decision. Pre-order’d!

More later, perhaps. I’m taking a nap; wake me when it’s genuinely Autumn again

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