Sdtrk: ‘Uluk constitution’ by Merzbow

ACHTUNG, PEOPLE OF GERMANY — also non-Germans with access to good bookstores — Go hit those bookshops and pick up the January ’06 issue of Maxi magazine, as it contains a stunning new article concerning ‘Still Lovers‘. Writer Annett Heide conducted some brief interviews with Elena Dorfman, as well as a few iDollators, such as Gordon Griggs, PB Shelley, Everhard, and myself, of course. 😉

This would be the cover:

If you hit Maxi’s website, it currently displays the cover for the December ’05 issue. On second thought, don’t hit Maxi’s website, cos quite frankly, it’s pretty damned useless. You say you’ve already clicked on the link? O, sorry.

Yes, the article’s entirely in German, as is the whole magazine, but don’t let that stop you. Plus, that issue comes mit einem grosse Astro-Tabelle, for all of your German Zodiacal needs for the new year! Such a deal!

Sdtrk: ‘Let’s go’ by New order

I’d say this is about 50% accurate. Well, maybe 65% accurate.

The Curious Sofa – You are quite sensual and love a good
romp in every sense of the word! People are drawn to you
and always want you to sit in their laps!

Which Edward Gorey Book Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sdtrk: ‘Et moi, et toi, et soie’ by Cléo

Heh. I’m thinking someone just managed to squeak by on their psychological tests.

Police: Officer Zaps Partner After Soda Dispute

POSTED: 7:19 am EST December 8, 2005

HAMTRAMCK, Mich. — Authorities said a police officer in Michigan used a Taser stun gun on his partner during an argument about stopping for a soft drink.

The suspect was fired after the Nov. 3 incident and is charged with assault.

Ronald Dupuis, 32, could get up to 93 days in jail if convicted.

Authorities said Dupuis asked partner Prema Graham to stop at a store for a soft drink, but she refused and instead kept driving back to headquarters.

Authorities said the partners struggled over the steering wheel, and Dupuis hit Graham’s leg with his department-issued Taser gun. She wasn’t seriously hurt.

Apart from the fact that she was tasered in the leg, of course.
At least his badge was revoked. And why only 93 days? Might as well round it off and make it a year, just to make sure. This is the sort of thing that further solidifies the idea that I’ve always held, that you really have to be a certain type of psychotic to become a police officer these days

Sdtrk: ‘Your daddy’s car’ by The Divine comedy

As stated before, I don’t really plan on ever writing very much about my job on ‘Shouting etc etc’, cos it’s a hideous and dreadful position; however, yesterday’s workday stood out a bit, mainly due to its going-out-of-its-way-to-be-noticeable stupidity.

I work the first shift at a telemarketing fundraising place, which means I go in Monday – Friday, from 10am to 2pm. (Save your envy, I’m only getting paid $8 per hour.) On my shift, there are roughly 40 employees present, all doing the same bollocks I’m doing; calling churls in a couple of states, and requesting donations. Ever since Thanksgiving, though, the donations are down to a trickle, as people are obviously concentrating on buying gifts, giving to other charitable organisations and whatnot.

So over the course of the day, the two supervisors are walking up and down the aisles, loudly exhorting people to ‘speak up’ and ‘get strapped in’ and ‘knuckle down’ and other would-be motivational bullshit, but as anyone with a brain knows, all the loud talking in the world really won’t make a lick of difference, as it’s ultimately down to the person on the other end of the phone to decide whether or not they fire off a cheque or money order. Now, round the third hour of our day, our supervisor George — the fat surly one with a complete lack of a personality — goes up to the cubicles of several employees and speaks with them semi-privately. Shortly after, those employees collectively punch out and leave. It turned out that those particular employees hadn’t had a sale in a little over three hours, so they were sent home. The Fat Angel of Death merely passed by my doorway, as I had just gotten my first sale of the day fifteen minutes before then.

Now, maybe it’s just me, but does that not seem a little.. fucking stupid? Wouldn’t it make more sense to keep more employees in their seats in the hopes that they might get a donation, as opposed to having less people on the phones, and decreasing your chances? It’s the exact opposite of buying a mess of lottery tickets. That whole event struck me as being contra-productive at best, and petulant & childish at worst. Such a lovely work environment, I’m tellin’ yer.

I’d also just like to add that today, I wore my black cardigan with the HAL 9000 patch on it, and not one, but two coworkers, on two separate occasions, asked me what that patch was about. *grits teeth* Of course, in my mind, I’m screaming ‘have you never fucking seen “2001”??’ but then, I work in a place where more than a couple of people are into hip-hop. And when I say ‘more than a couple’, I mean ‘ninety-nine per cent’. Trying to explain something ‘artsy’ like ‘2001’ to these people is like.. well, I don’t want to say anything along the lines of ‘pearls before swine’, but you can’t say it doesn’t fit

Sdtrk: ‘Fallin’ in love’ by American spring

See, Veach? See what you’ve started??

Go handcraft your own magazine cover! Like you’re doing anything else with your time.
By the way, Veach; I’m looking at those questions you asked me last month, concerning Synthetiks and whatnot. Those’ll be answered in a week or so, as final exams are looming ominously on the horizon..

*I recall reading an article in a magazine somewhere a number of years ago, where the author mentioned that they were writing an article on MS Word. They had typed in the name ‘Condé Nast’, and the spellchecker had suggested ‘nasty condo’. I laughed