Sdtrk: ‘Going south’ by Indian jewelry

So I’d done a post last year about Daisuke ‘Dice-K’ Enomoto, who would’ve been the first otaku in space. What d’ye mean, you don’t recall? (Actually, I was suprised myself that that was written almost a whole year ago..)
Well, turns out he can’t go. His mum wouldn’t sign his permission slip, the poor bastard.

I suppose he can blame this on the misfortune of his birth

Health test defeats space tourist
BBC News | Monday, 21 August 2006, 16:18 GMT 17:18 UK

A Japanese businessman hoping to fly to the International Space Station (ISS) has failed his medical test, according to Russian space agency officials.

Daisuke “Dice-K” Enomoto, 34, was hoping to become the fourth space tourist after being chosen to fly on board a Russian Soyuz spacecraft.

He was due to accompany the 14th space station crew on a flight next month.

Previous private space explorers are Americans Dennis Tito and Greg Olsen and South African Mark Shuttleworth.

Russian Federal Space Agency spokesman Igor Panarin said that Enomoto was “deemed not ready to fly for exclusively medical reasons”.

He was due to begin the journey on 14 September with US commander Miguel Lopez-Alegria and Russian flight engineer Mikhail Tyurin.
the rest of the article is here

Medical reasons are the exact sort of thing that’ll probably end up keeping a lot of us trapped on earth, instead of being spacebound. I want to be a Newtype too, damnit!

As an aside, I love the illo that someone drew of him that he’s got on his website, as reprinted above. Of course, it’s a lot funnier if you’re a Gundam fan, but nevertheless

EDIT (23 Aug): Changed the news article links to the BBC News page. Why? Cos if you look at the photo they have of Dice-K, you’ll see a Zeon patch on the right shoulder of his flightsuit. Very savvy

Sdtrk: ‘The kill’ by Joy division

At various points in our lives, my music-making mates and I would regularly vow that we would one day assemble a bucketful of contact microphones, for additional Noise-making weaponry. As you suspect, we never got round to it. But thanks to the Bay of e, now we don’t have to!

Contact Mic Noise Shaker. Masonna Merzbow Whitehouse
This is a noise maker! A shaker with a microphone inside. Plug it into a distortion pedal for a seering wall of noise. Similar to the noise shaker device used by Japanese noise artist Masonnna. Hand built in a sturdy aluminum canister.

‘HAY!’ I can hear you asking. ‘What the hell’s a contact microphone?’ Essentially, it’s a regular mic, only stripped down of its casing, so that all you have is the bit that picks up the sound. You then rewire it so that it plugs directly into whatever your lead is; again, like a regular mic, but since it’s considerably smaller without its housing, you’re free to do more anarchic things with it. You can tape one to the inside of a suitcase, fill it with Cd jewel cases, and shake it about!* You can place one in your mouth!** You can gaffer tape a couple to your bare chest, and have a friend beat the shit out of you!*** The possibilities are limited only by your imaginaaaation.

For a better grasp of a typical contact mic in use, here’s Maso Yamazaki (Masonna) himself, leaping like a spastic, posessed bunny on YouTube. About 1.22 into the video, you can briefly see him throttling it about in his left hand.

Very ace! Kinda makes me want to dust off my effects pedals and four-track again

*as done by Masonna
** I think Jojo Hiroshige of Hijokaidan did this once
***as done by Einstürzende Neubauten

Technorati tags: Noise, Masonna, Maso Yamazaki, Hijokaidan, Einstürzende Neubauten

Sdtrk: ‘Destination unknown’ by Missing persons

Remember how I’d mentioned that there was a lass — Caroline, by name — from the far-off land of the United Arab Emirates, that wanted to conduct an interview with yours truly? Well, I’d gotten an Email from her last month, which stated that although she dug my answers, she was waiting to hear from her magazine, as the social climate in Dubai is changing regarding being able to print things of a sexual nature. It had astounded me when Elena first mentioned that Caroline wanted to do this in the first place, as she’d mentioned that she was from the UAE, and I’d thought a RealDoll-related interview would probably go over there about as well as one being published in a Shaker magazine. Do Shakers even have magazines? There’s so much I don’t know.

On the obverse side of the coin, however, next week-end will find myself and Sidore-chan being filmed again, ths time by a Swedish film crew! Sofia, who is the ‘research praktik’ for a show in Sweden entitled ‘Outsiders’ for Titan Television, had originally asked at the same time the English film crew did a few months ago, and originally I’d responded ‘sorry, it’s too hot out’. Actually, I’d said that to both the English and the Swedes, but the English effectively bribed me first by offering to ship Shi-chan out to the RealDoll Doctor. Sofia wrote again on the first of August, saying ‘well, if we fly you out to Abyss Creations for a day of filming, as well as pay for your hotel stay, will you do this for us?’ My arm was therefore twisted. 🙂 So on 25 Aug, I’m jetting out to the factory to be filmed with Matt McMullen, and on the 26th, I fly home and will be filmed with Sweetie in someplace air-conditioned — either round at the hotel the Swedish film crew will be staying at, or at another location — and the wonderful Monti will be present for a number of questions, to provide the ‘friend of an iDollator’ perspective. Huh!

I’d like to mention that this interview for ‘Outsiders’ will be the eleventh media appearance my Synthetik wife and I have made; I’d tallied them up at work. The stakes for their bribery keep increasing with each interview, though, so at this rate, the next television/film crew might well have to purchase Sweetie a new body, hint hint…

Sdtrk: ‘Sylvie’s head’ by My bloody valentine

(courtesy of SafeTInspector)

Sdtrk: ‘FRUiTS CLiPPER’ by Capsule

When I first saw this place, my mind immediately conjured up images from the film ‘Fantastic planet‘. I hated ‘Fantastic planet’. To be honest though, I’d like to see it again, but with subtitles instead of that hideous dubbing, as I think the dubbing was what really drove me away. Gods, that dubbing. But this building reminded me of ‘Fantastic planet’, and really, any sci-fi from out of Europe during the Sixties. This would be Palais Bulles (Bubble Palace), designed for fab fashion designer Pierre Cardin by Antti Lovag in 1970.

Lovag noticed that traditional habitations, like the cavern or the igloo, were round and reflected the way a human being moves in space. These houses were built “around” the human being and did not force him into rectangular spaces, like modern houses. Spheres and round surfaces reminded of the maternal uterus and avoiding any sharp edge they could prevent, according to Lovag’s theory, neurosis and violence. [..]

The interior is made of many round rooms, resembling foam bubbles, all furnished and decorated in a perfect ’70s style, no pictures on the walls, but big design lamps, coloured cushions and everywhere a deep, fluffy, wall-to-wall carpeting. Windows are big portholes with a round glass on them. The villa has also a conference room, a private cinema, a swimming pool and a tennis court.
quoted from this article

It’s occurred to me just now that this residence could be considered the spiritual sibling to Moshe Safdie’s Habitat 67 — it’s a closely-knit cluster of simple shapes, but instead of being cubes, they’re more globular. Also, it’s a single home, not an apartment structure. Also, it’s located in Côte d’Azur, not Montréal. Also, Palais Bulles is rust-coloured, not putty-coloured. I could go on.

Don’t know if it’s someplace I’d want to live — those concave walls would make it difficult to hang my trevor brown silkscreen — but.. o, who am I kidding. Like I wouldn’t move there, given half the chance (and all the money). Nice one, Antti!

Sdtrk: ‘What goes on’ by the Velvet underground

I didn’t expect China to throw their hat into the Gynoid production ring, but as the Little Caesar’s telly advert once used to say, ‘Anything’s possible. I taught my dog to say “I love you”‘.’

She’s addressed by ‘Miss’. That means she’s single. Hmm

Scientists unveil female robot
Reuters | August 09, 2006, 17:30

A group of Chinese scientists completed their work last week on a new robot named Miss Rong Cheng. The robot’s designers say she is equipped with cutting-edge technology in human-to-robot interaction and responds to human voices.

The robot is designed to look like a woman and it is programmed to speak Mandarin as well as a Sichuan dialect because she will be sent to the Sichuan Science Museum in Chengdu to act as a receptionist and tour guide.

“Our institute has been making great efforts in developing voice recognition system for many years … Meanwhile, the voice recognition function can make the communication between humans and robots more natural and personal, which highlights the progress we have achieved in making our robots more human-like”, Yue Hongqiang, the robot’s designer, said.

Robot to be sold to hotels, entertainment outlets
The cost of this project is $37 500 and besides dancing and greeting, the 168cm, 60kg “beauty” responds to 500 to 1 000 commands in Mandarin. It took around a year for the scientists to finish this first human simulation robot in China.

The designers hope to sell the robots next year to customers such as hotels and entertainment outlets. The most advanced robot in the world is sleek-looking Asimo, produced by Japanese auto-maker Honda. Asimo, who can walk at a speed of one mile per hour and climb up and down stairs, costs roughly $1 million.

As she lacks the smooth artificial skin of my lovely little Actroid-chan, or even EveR-1, she’s not as, well, sexy, but nevertheless, she’s an autonomous Synthetik, and that’s Good. In fact, her more robot-like appearance might provide a good bridge from automata that are non-humanoid, to Synthetiks that are more like Actroid et al.
Keep up the good work, Miss Rong Cheng! But please go find some better clothes. What, are you headed for a can-can circa 1986 or something?

The call goes out for videos of her in action! YouTube and Flash-based videos like this one don’t really count, as I want something I can save to my hard drive, so if any of you fine people run across any, do let me know

*I must, at this point, apologise for the hideous Subj.title, but it could’ve been worse, and been based around Wang Chung. Nevertheless, I’m so very very sorry

Technorati tags: Rong Cheng, Actroid, EveR-1, Android, Gynoid, robot

Sdtrk: ‘Lass dir Zeit’ by die Crazy Girls

Frantic Frightened Frequent readers of ‘Shouting etc etc’ know how much I love that fat orange cartoon cat named Garfield™®. And when I say ‘love’, I of course mean ‘loathe‘. However, in reading the recent b3ta newsletter deposited gently within my Inbox, I now know of exactly six strips of that ‘comic’ series that I actually enjoy. One of the features it had was a link to one of those periodically-funny-but-usually-repellent ytmnd sites, having to do with the death of Garfield™®. I’ll provide the link here in a moment, but first, let the associated Wikipedia entry relate to you its tale.

One storyline, which lasted a week from October 23, 1989 (possibly to coincide with Halloween, although the 31st actually fell the following week), is unique among Garfield strips in that it is not meant to be humorous. It depicts Garfield awakening in a future in which the house is abandoned and he no longer exists. This is revealed to have been a dream of some kind, and ends with this narration:

“An imagination is a powerful tool. It can tint memories of the past, shade perceptions of the present, or paint a future so vivid that it can entice…or terrify, all depending on how we conduct ourselves today.”

Alternatively, some theorize that the end of this storyline actually implies that the rest of the series, the more conventional strips, are all fantasies Garfield is playing out in his head to delude himself from realizing the dark turn his life has taken, as he slowly starves to death in an abandoned house. (emphasis mine) One would assume that his ability to eat more than physically possible in usual strips would be his use of fantasies to stave off his growing hunger and starvation. This theory is arguably supported by the text, as right before Jon and Odie reappear, the narration reads:

“After years of taking life for granted, Garfield is shaken by a horrifying vision of the inevitable process called ‘time.’ He has only one weapon…denial…”

This emphasis on “denial,” with the word given its own box in the panel it appears in, and being followed immediately by the earlier text on the power of the imagination, could support the horrifying theory. However, it could also be that denial is what Garfield needed to snap himself out of this dark vision. This is also more likely considering the only way Garfield could have gotten into “a world where he no longer exists” is if that world were a dream. Many, however, attribute the bleak world to the future Ebeneezer Scrooge witnessed in A Christmas Carol, where he beholds the dark and bleak image the world has become because of his negligence and lack of gratitude for other people’s efforts. Still, another point of view on this storyline is that Davis was parodying The Twilight Zone series, which often featured ominous narratives, similar to the use of narration in this set of bleak strips. Another interpretation is that Davis was going through what might have been a period of depression or crisis, and used this set of strips as a form of self-therapy. Lastly, another widely-believed theory is that Garfield was only in the house for a few days before he was rescued in the November 2 and November 3 strips, and the ‘storyline’ was just an introduction to the next week of ‘flashbacks’.

In this age of the Internuts, where lies are the order of the day, and Wikipedia being no exception, I had my doubts as to whether these strips were real. But doubt no more! Simply go to the Official Garfield™® Media Conglomerate Headquarters Web Presence here, set the controls to 1989 October 23, and look for yourself! Chilling, yes, but honestly, I’d have to say these are the funniest Garfield™® strips ever written.

The aforementioned ytmnd site would be here, just so you know. And at this point, I’d normally mention the occurrence of the date that story arc started with a favourite number of mine, but freaked-out fucked up frequent readers of ‘Shouting etc etc’ would’ve already kenned that.

‘I come not to praise Garfield, but to bury him’