Silicone makes everything better, or, Slow news day

typed for your pleasure on 17 February 2010, at 1.04 am

Sdtrk: ‘A longing to be absorbed for a while into a different and beautiful world’ by Leyland Kirby

If you’ll indulge me for a bit, I’ve a confession to make: lately I’m finding that Heidi Montag lass to be really quite attractive. I’m sure if you have any amount of pop culture leaking into your lives, you already know where this is leading, but if you don’t: basically Ms Montag is an obscenely overpaid professional idiot. She’s apparently what can be loosely termed as an ‘actress’, having appeared on a reality show, as well as laughingly referred to as a ‘singer’, thanks to her full-length album of so-called music. Worse still, she’s a god-botherer as well as a republican — those two categories are usually found joined at the hip. I’d first heard of her sometime a year or so ago, and as she was a reality TV star, any cursory interest I had in her immediately disappeared. That is, until earlier this month.

@davecat doesnt Heidi Montag from MTV’s “The Hills look like a real doll after her recent plastic surgery?

MafiAMillertime | 1:17 AM Feb 2nd from web

As I had no idea who the living hell she was on about, I had to look it up on das Goögle, and ooohh my goodness why hello there.


Fully articulated and posable, with a neck hook for display

According to an article on online gossip rag Access Hollywood:

On November 20, Heidi underwent 10 procedures that included a mini brow lift, Botox in the forehead, nose job revision, fat injections in cheeks and lips, chin reduction, neck liposuction, ears pinned back, breast augmentation revision, liposuction on her waist and thighs and a buttocks augmentation. But, she told Billy she’s not addicted to plastic surgery.

But of course. She then goes on to say:

I’m starting to move my face more and more, [But,] I feel very plastic… especially when I first came out, it was so hard for me even to smile and it’s still hard for me to chew sometimes. But it’s feeling more and more natural everyday because the swelling is going down.

I should point out here that I’m completely for the idea of plastic surgery. As long as it makes the person happy, and if it’s not done to a dangerous and unaesthetic degree, that is. I mean, if you’re gonna get ten procedures done, it may seem practical to have them all done in one go, but you’ll more than likely be living like a Cenobite for a number of weeks. Not too clever, but I guess that’s kinda par for the course with our Heidi.
Furthermore, there’s something to be said about the state of pop culture where people, particularly women, are pressured into valuing appearance over intelligence. Unfortunately, it seems that she’s unaware that pursuing both qualities combines the best of both worlds.


Only $6000, minus shipping and handling

HEIDI MONTAG: Bringing Bold New Meaning to the Term ‘Churl’. But thanks to her new silicone rubber body, she’s much nicer to look at! rrrRowr.
Ergh. That’s enough Hollywood-related talk for a couple of months

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Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat? (Feb 2010)

typed for your pleasure on 8 February 2010, at 11.52 am

Sdtrk: ‘Shadow world’ by Xeno & Oaklander

Figured I’d bang this ‘un out in between chapters of the current post freight train, ‘I burped at Vegas‘. Compared to the previous entries of this series, this one will be shockingly brief!

+ There’s been a surge in hits on ‘Shouting etc etc’ in the past couple of days, and through a quick bit of rooting through my referreral stats, I’d discovered that 4woods has linked to me, on the front page of its English site. Nice!


Gotta love that infinite recursion

As the print has shrunken to near-illegibility, it reads ‘Davecat introduces the latest love doll news from the world. He is a famous person in this field who has been on TV and magazines many times. 4woods met Davecat at 2010 AVN in Las Vegas and personally exchanged words, which was such an honor. He is very interested in Japanese culture as well.’ And cuisine, they neglected to add that I’m very interested in Japanese cuisine. Like right now, for instance. I’ll have an order of zaru soba, an age dashi tofu, and an eel temaki, here! *gestures to imaginary waiter*
4woods joins KnightHorse, makers of the Lovable Doll series, as being the second Synthetik companion manufacturer to link to this humble blog. Thanks Hiroo Okawa, and arigatou 4woods! You guys are awesome! Now, how about sending a charming A.I.Peach Akari round to ours to review? It’s for science.

+ Turns out Hirokazu Kore-eda’s ‘Kuuki Ningyo’, aka ‘Air Doll’, which I’d written about back in July 2009, will be out on DVD in Japan on 26 March. ‘Great for the Japanese,’ you say, with not a small note of sarcasm in your voice, ‘but what about the rest of us who don’t understand moonspeak?’ That’s quite alright, as the Japanese DVD comes with English subtitles, which is actually rather surprising. Not that I’m complaining! CDJapan, for instance, has the limited edition slated as selling for $67, so it’ll go on the wish list — just not necessarily at the top of the wish list. Good lord, though; for $67, you’d think it comes shipped with an inflatable replica of the title star…

+ This interview with Abyss creations’ Matt McMullen, featured on the website 69adget, was more than likely a direct result of the 2010 AVN.

Do you think that most people want a companion in a doll or do they just want to have sex with it?

I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with doll owners that assign fictitious personalities to their dolls. I mean, to me it’s very heartwarming that this doll is able to fill a void that this person has in their life. You know, there are people out there that are incapable of having relationships, or they just don’t want it. Perhaps they’re socially cut off by their own choice. There’s always going to be a human need for companionship and to me there’s nothing wrong with those individuals who want to have a pseudo robotic doll to have in their house and build a relationship with. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it and i would be the last person to judge.

+ And just a wee reminder, you lot remember that the Missus and I will be on the ‘Strange Love‘ episode of National Geographic’s ‘Taboo’ documentary series this Wednesday at 10pm EST, right? Okay, just so you know. Well, know again, that is; some of you are new. Like you in the back with the Franz Ferdinand shirt on, for instance.

‘Shouting to hear the echoes’. Sometimes, I even write about things that aren’t Dolls! Anything’s possible

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The Eighties are back! And THEY’RE COMING FOR YOUR EARS

typed for your pleasure on 6 February 2010, at 5.15 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Do or die’ by the Human League

Spotted this on Retro to Go: this would be the Mint cube, an .mp3 player designed for the retro mind. This might be the sexiest non-Synthetik thing I’ve seen in a while.

On the top side of Mint cube lays ten buttons, and these buttons are also analog. In the past, cassette players would have this type of analog buttons where you pressed one button and then pressed another button; the first button would pop right back out. Mint cube’s employed same types of button and together with analog indicators; it completely brings out the “retro” styling. In the absence of the LED status light, moreover, users can check its status by looking at which buttons are pressed. When you use Mint cube, it will bring back your memory of childhood, although this statement only applies to people who were born in 80s and before.

The blessed thing has indicator dials, for the love of “Bob”. So sexy. Unfortunately, it appears that Mintpass is a designers’ collective, not a gadget boutique, and as such, their Cube is not for sale. At least not yet, that is.

And what headphones — headphones, not bog-standard earbuds — would do that lovely device justice? Would sir or madam be interested in these, perhaps?

Tracks Headphone Series (headphones & headphones with microphone) are on-ear headphones inspired by the function and design of the old iconic walkman headphones. […] The slider connecting the ear cup and the brace comes in three sets of different colours for customization. For disassembly you can easily slide off your ear cups and pack them securely for transportation or share your music with a friend. The headphones come with a neat carrying bag for protecting the different headphone parts and keeping the wires from entangling with other items in your bag.

Designed and created by Danish firm AIAIAI, the group seem to have a solid grasp of the Eighties aesthetic. Furthermore, you can actually purchase a pair of Tracks headphones right now, if you like. Well, maybe not right now, as all variants (except for peach) are out of stock. Ehh, peach. *waves hand dismissively*

What better combination of music accessories to listen to the Human League’s ‘Dare’ album with, I ask you??

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I burped at Vegas, Part I

typed for your pleasure on 1 February 2010, at 2.50 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Skelechairs (Venetian snares remix)’ by Venetian snares

Having never been to Las Vegas before in my life, it was a unique and alien experience to me. Not a bad one, but certainly not what I’m used to. You know you’re in a land — yes, ‘a land’, cos Vegas is kind of like its own country, a bizarre Disneyland for adults — where the traditional rules of day-to-day living don’t apply. Such as when you’re having a pleasant dinner with nine of your mates at a Denny’s, and all of a sudden, the shuddering rumble of a volcano explodes across the road. Of course, it’s not a real volcano; it’s spewing water coloured by lights, and gas jets blast flames into the sky, and of course the tiki soundtrack played over the speakers wouldn’t be found at the site of a genuine eruption, but yep, it’s a volcano. Across from a Denny’s. Sure, why the hell not. Velcome to Wegas!

Back during one of the 2009 autumn Doll Congresses, Mahtek, Euchre, and CJD discussed plans for attending the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo, taking place in Las Vegas during the first week of January, as a handful of Doll manufacturers were going to be there. Since I wasn’t able to make the last one thanks to my laughable finances, they decided that I was coming with them for the 2010 show. I wasn’t going to argue the point! So tickets were purchased, and plans were henceforth made. Needless to say, we were pretty excited about the whole thing!

Click here for the rest of the post, bunky »

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