hahaha christ

typed for your pleasure on 29 April 2005, at 3.03 pm

Sdtrk: ‘When I think of you’ by Twiggy

It’s Paula Oliveira’s 15th birthday, and she’s invited her friends for cake, punch(ing), dancing to popular tunes, and general revelry. Now if you’ll note when you scan her photos, she has THE SAME FACIAL EXPRESSION IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER PICS.
I don’t know if that’s really hot, or really creepy. But it is really funny.

Right now, Paula is seeing in nine more dimensions
than us normal humans. Well done!

Next year, I think we should all chip in for Paula, and buy her some muscle relaxant. Thank you, 4chan, and thank you, /b/

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file under ‘Linkdump (Media)’

typed for your pleasure on 28 April 2005, at 11.00 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Chakkiri cha cha’ by The Peanuts

Err, let’s see here..

+ One of my favourite films is finally coming out on Digital Veritech Disk — Bedazzled! No no, the original, good one from 1967, with Dudley Moore (back when he was funny) and Peter Cook. Hooray hoorah hoorum!
Although I have to say, the remake of Bedazzled! did have that luscious Liz Hurley in its favour. But that’s it, really. Man. One day I’m gonna sit down and write that post about why I don’t really like remakes..

+ Another film to look forward to in the cinemas: this Russian venture called ‘Night watch‘, which is apparently the first in a trilogy. Hope it’s as good as the trailer

+ Want to know whether or not a DVD is shite? See what my pal Jeff has to say, over at digitallyObsessed.com

And, in case you’ve not already noticed, I’ve added a new genus of links over in the lefthand sidebar, called ‘Musique non-stop’, where you’ll find my favourite .mp3 blogs. blowupdoll specialises in female vocalists, mostly European, and usually from the Sixties and Seventies. bubblegum machine has the lock on obscurities from the Sixties and Seventies as well — he’s got a real AM vibe, baby. 20 Jazz Funk Greats is not only named after one of my favourite Throbbing gristle albums, but the psychotics running it hosts a cadre of tunes, ranging from electroclash to new wave, to psych-rock to math-rock. And Music For Maniacs pretty much does what it says on the tin. Right-click and enjoy!

Why are you still reading this? Why aren’t you out seeing Kung-fu hustle*? *shakes fist*

*as an aside, the film ‘Kung-fu hustle’ was directed by Stephen Chow, who also directed and starred in ‘Shaolin soccer’, and my personal favourite, ‘God of cookery’, as well as many other films. When I was in between jobs one Summer, for lack of anything else to do, I watched ‘God of cookery’ and Stanley Kubrick’s ‘Full metal jacket’ once a day, every day, for a week. Just thought you’d like to know that

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One blade lifts, the next one cuts, the third one flays

typed for your pleasure on 28 April 2005, at 4.50 am

Sdtrk: ‘La porte a coté’ by Christine Delaroche

Since I have such incredible problems managing my time, I have opted to use an electric shaver, as opposed to the razor treatment, cos it’s considerably quicker. For the past couple of days, I’ve been on the hunt for buying a new shaver, and I’ll tell you; the whole process is striking me as being ridiculous beyond all reason.

The last shaver I bought was a Remington SF3 MicroScreen 1, a rechargable jobbie that I purchased around 2003. Recently, I’d noticed that repeated passes during use just ain’t cutting it anymore, pun intended, so I thought, well gee, I have to finally go buy some replacement blades. I get to Meijer, and all the replacement blades & screens for Remington shavers are for MicroScreen models 2 and 3. Furthermore, I don’t think they even make the model that I own anymore, which honestly wouldn’t surprise me.

So I’m thinking, fine, I guess I’ll just buy a whole new fucking electric shaver, you bastards, so I begin peering at the other shavers that were on offer. Now, I don’t know about you, but I go so long between buying shavers, that I keep forgetting how expensive they are. I remember distinctly when I bought the model I have now, I was with someone at the time, and I was annoyed at the prices back then, and she was like, ‘Well, if you have to buy one, you have to buy one’. So I’m looking at the shavers, thinking, ‘A new electric razor should be about $15 – $20’. Nope! The cheapest model was $30, which was $20 more than I had on me. Jesus.

I admit, I’m a bit of a cheapskate when it comes to some things. I’ll grouse if necessities cost more than I think they should, but for ‘luxury’ items, price sometimes isn’t a deterrent. How much do I think a top-of-the-line German-made electric razor should cost? A rechargable one with triple hovering rotary blades, a multi-speed moustache trimmer, a soothing gel dispenser, that flashes a series of LEDs while simultaneously playing ‘Upside down’ by The Jesus and Mary chain? $30. Replacement blades? Pack of three, $5. Yeah. I’m the Best Consumer EVAR!!1!@

The reason I’m mortified, really, is that the result is inevitable: I’m gonna trek back up to Meijer later this week and buy a brand new ‘cheapie’ $30 electric shaver, and I find that fact hateful. But this is something I have to have. I must have a shaver, as my patchy facial hair makes me look like a common criminal. I suppose it’s the fact that I need this object, colliding headlong with my unwillingness to lay out $30 that could have gone towards some sushi, or a couple of DVDs, that really irks me. Until I can make enough money to afford laser hair removal (I’m serious), I’m gonna have to use a damn razor when I shave every other day. I’m gonna have to go over my face several times, consider myself done, and then 20min later when I’m out the door, I’ll end up running my hand across my jawbone and find that I’ve missed like five or six spiderlegs, and hiss under my breath.
If I had my druthers, I’d purchase a straight razor, cos if you can use one of those effectively, you automatically get the title of badass, but my hands are so markedly unsteady that any effort that I’d attempt would result in at least eight severed arteries, guaranteed

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O yeah

typed for your pleasure on 27 April 2005, at 2.48 am

Sdtrk: ‘jean-louis’ by Popporu

Just got back from Tomas‘ digs, helping him eBay his — well, pretty much everything he owns — so I’ll have to come up with a more substantial post later.

In the meantime, have you seen this? Those of you who loved Firefly, I’m sure, will be ecstatic. I know I am!

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This IS the Future

typed for your pleasure on 21 April 2005, at 12.37 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Cave control’ by Screaming MacGregor

Since Kokoro Company Ltd’s very own spokesmodel is at the Aichi World Expo 2005 right this very minute, they’ve updated their pages concerning your favourite Gynoid and mine (mostly mine), Actroid-chan, with two new movies (click on the Actroid banner, and click on the second link from the top that reads アクトロイド ムービー公開中, cos the URL redirects are making sport of me), and a handful of new photos. Apparently, as they have an Actroid-chan working each of the information kiosks at the Expo, Kokoro has developed three different versions — one for each entrance — plus a sexay new standing version that does the emcee duties in another part of the exhibit. Roger that, and drooling now. Yum.

Miyu-chan, the East gate entrance Actroid

Sakura-chan, the North gate entrance Actroid

Sara-chan, the West gate entrance Actroid

the MC version at Kokoro’s Robot Station exhibit

Also managed to find this link, on a Japanese robot developer’s blog, to a very brief .avi of the pre-Expo Actroid-chan. Very cute, but she seems a wee bit irritable! Which I guess would make sense, if you had people poking you once every ten minutes to see if you were ‘real’ or not.

‘Please stop poking me already; it’s rude’

And (copied and pasted from my post about it on the Doll Forum) can’t believe I forgot to mention this before: Tokyopop is translating a somewhat new six-installment manga series called ‘DOLL’. It’s a loosely-related grouping of various tales having to do with Androids and Gynoids — called Dolls, obviously — and how they affect the lives of those who own them, those who hate them, and those who love them. They’re by one of my new favourite manga-ka (manga artist), Mitsukazu Mihara, who used to do the covers for the Gothic & Lolita Bibles, until she apparently started asking for too much money.
Like I said, there’s six issues total; they’re up to No.4, which I just picked up the other day. Ace artwork, compelling stories, and all about a subject we love so dearly. Give it a look!

Finally, this is a fab article that ran in The Japan Times last year that might help to explain the rationale behind a lot of us who own, or are aspiring to own, an Artificial companion. Damnit, Japan’s got it all over us!

‘Shouting to hear the echoes’. The only Blog you’ll ever need, for unashamedly biased Android / Gynoid / Synthetik / high-end love doll development news

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typed for your pleasure on 21 April 2005, at 1.19 am

Sdtrk: ‘Winter (studio outtake)’ by the Cure

Heh; today, for my Windows XP productivity class, we all had to do our PowerPoint presentations as part of our final.. whatever it was. I estimate that I spent 12 – 16 drawn-out hours developing my presentation, and what’s more I had to do it in the lab, as none of the computers here have PowerPoint. (Or Access, or Excel, but I do have Word, as that would be something I use in ‘real’ life.) There seemed to be an underlying theme — most of the women did more personal or human-related topics, i.e, the life cycle of the monarch butterfly, a nephew, a cruise, natural wonders of the world, post-partum depression. Whereas the blokes mostly did stuff that most blokes would go on about, i.e, motorcycles, wakeboarding, Mercedes-Benz cars, Chrysler cars, etc. The topic I picked was the history of the Mini Cooper, so I guess I slotted neatly into the latter category. I was the last to go, and I probably blazed my way through it faster than I would’ve liked (each student had five minutes), but I’d like to think I did rather well, especially compared to a lot of the other speakers.. I can say this: a lot of spellchecker buttons went unclicked, wherever these people assembled their projects. For fuck’s sake, people.
I’d also like to think I gave myself a wee bit of a boost by printing up several copies of a papercraft Mini, and passing one out to each student and the teacher. That was my ‘secret extra credit weapon’. 😉

You’ll forgive me if I don’t really discuss my school experiences on ‘Shouting etc etc’; despite my current drive to get my other 14 courses over and done with, academia and I are still rather estranged. I view school as a necessary evil, a means to an end. I really don’t like being there, and I highly doubt there’ll be a day when I don’t feel like an impostor whenever I walk up and down the corridors of my campus.

On Tuesday, I got to hang out with Marika, a friend of mine that I’ve not seen in a long time. We only got to convene for an hour before I had to get round to the lab — we stopped round to Quizno’s for lunch — but it was really great seeing her. I hadn’t physically seen her in over a year, and we hadn’t been able to get hold of each other until February of this year. She’d moved in with some furfucker for a while *shudders*, then she met a bloke and moved in with him, then she lost her job, and moved back in with her mum, and had her cellphone switched off. Now she’s got a job, and a new phone, and we’re back in business, as it were. She’d been wanting to reach me for a while, as back in early February, Derek said she’d stopped round to his house out of the blue, and wanted to know my phone number. Which was bizarre, cos I had attempted to contact her, and her old cellphone number was obsolete. So a couple of weeks after that, she called me from her folks’ house, but her mum didn’t want all sorts of calls at all hours of the eve, so Mari merely waited until she could afford a new cell. And that brings up to now.
Why is it ace, really, that Mari and I are speaking again? Mainly it’s cos back in the days when the Slag was living with me at No.23 Deafening silence, she accused Mari for doing something that was undoubtedly not her doing at all, and I, having no reason to suspect that the Slag was lying/just plain fucking delusional, went along with it, and informed Mari that when we bought our house, she wasn’t to set foot in it ever. Cue lots of crying and screaming. I think it goes without saying that it was a horrible day, and despite the fact that Mari forgives me for, well, thinking with my cock, I still feel guilty about being suckered to the point where I cut off our friendship.

So like I said, it’s nice to have Mari back. After Monti, she was my second female friend to learn about Shi-chan and RealDolls in general, and not only was she happy to appear with Sweetie & I when the French came round to film, but she’s open-minded enough to think that sort of thing is really ace. (She has been designated Shi-chan’s Organik sister.)
Plus, her height makes me feel taller than I actually am, and that’s always nice 😉

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typed for your pleasure on 17 April 2005, at 11.42 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Noise grinder’ by Speedranch ^ Jansky noise

JESSE (setting up his bass amp): ‘I don’t know your name, so I can’t yell back.’
SOME GUY: ‘It’s Steven!’
JESSE: ‘Hey, Steven!’ *waves*
As predicted, Jeff and I trekked out to the Lager House to see Death from above 1979, and I even managed to persuade Derek to come with, and enjoy his first live performance since the late 90s. None of us had ever been to the Lager House before; it’s this bar located within the shadow of the original Tiger Stadium, and it was rather small, to say the least. ‘An intimate venue’, as papers would probably describe it. Which isn’t bad at all, but we thought that since DFA’79 had played larger venues elsewhere, they’d be playing one here. Alas! Like I said, though, it wasn’t a bad bar — the performing area was roughly the length of a typical basement — but they kinda need to address their soundboard problems. I’ll get to that in a bit..

DFA’79 and their two opening acts were doing a two-shows-one-day thing; the doors opened for the all ages show at 5pm, and the 18+ show was at 9pm. We elected to go to the earlier one, so we could get back round to Jeff’s afterwards and catch the recent episode of Doctor Who, among other things.
After a 45min long soundcheck, and a premature start due to a problem with one of the guitarist’s amps, the first act up was Controller.controller, some band none of us had heard of, but they had their following, as quite a few of the emo kids were singing along. The musicians were pretty tight (despite the fact that the drummer wore a ski mask. If your drummer has a ‘gimmick’, your band is probably shite), and the vocalist lass, who reminded me a bit of Siouxsie Sioux, seemed to be enjoying herself, but her voice just didn’t seem all that polished as compared to the rest of the music. Maybe she sounds better on Cd. It’s a bit like Photoshopping supermodels; they look ace in print or on telly, but meet them in ‘real’ life, and you might be disappointed.. Overall, Controller.controller get a B for effort.

I’m gonna derail my narrative for a wee bit, and point out that I really have no idea what the fuck today’s hipster kids are supposed to be dressed as. It’s like they’re taking all the bad parts of the 70s and the 80s and squishing it together into some supposedly-ironic heap of crap. Girls with razor-cut hairdos and guys with those goddamned trucker hats. And every third person with either facial machinery, a white leather belt with pyramid studs on it, or both. And don’t even get me started on those fucking emo glasses. I don’t like emo, and I wish to set it on fire.

Anyway! Second act was Lee Marvin computer arm. I wish I could say something memorable about them, but I can’t. I can, however, note, that we couldn’t even hear the lead vocalist; either his mike wasn’t plugged in (a real American tragedy, to be sure), or he was screaming at a level that only dogs can hear. Hooray for the Lager house soundboard!

Around quarter to eight, DFA’79 finally went on, and about ten minutes after that, they started playing, having kinda sorta ironed out their own problems with the soundboard. It was a fast set, but it was pretty ace, and loud as hell (we were standing about eight feet away from one of the PAs). Sebastien’s vocals sounded a little blown out, though; I mean, even moreso than usual, but DFA’79 really proves that you really don’t need a guitarist to demolish your opponents musically. Is Jesse as good as the God of All Bassists, Peter Hook? No, but he’s damn close..
Towards the end of the set, DFA’79’s new best friend Steven (see above) kept requesting they play ‘Little girl’. He’d requested it about five or six times.
SEBASTIEN: ‘Fuck you.’
*audience laughs*
JESSE: ‘We don’t tell you how to suck dick when you’re out on the street corner.’
AUDIENCE: ‘OOoooooohh!!’
Then they launched into ‘Little girl’, ‘by request’, Sebastien added. 🙂

I’d say we all enjoyed ourselves. Good show!
Now it’s Sunday eve, and I’ve got like 95% of my hearing back! Woo hoo!

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