YAY FOR DIET PILLS!

typed for your pleasure on 18 March 2005, at 1.52 am

Sdtrk: ‘Dead quasars’ by Magas

Fuck yeah.

Leisure town is back. Well, ‘back’, meaning Tristan has a new story kinda sandwiched in the ‘Features’ section, and another new one in the ‘Articles + Essays’ section. But still!
As Shi-chan would say, EEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Stop reading this, and get over there now!

UPDATE (2.46am): I broke down and ordered one of the evil giraffe guys. If Tristan offers the guy dog from ‘Around and around’ at a reasonable price, then my life will be utterly complete

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Aren’t they done with all of this ‘Star wars’ bollocks?

typed for your pleasure on 17 March 2005, at 2.05 am

Sdtrk: ‘Emaciator’ by Ramleh

Just watched the trailer for ‘Star wars: Episode Three’. My reaction? I don’t know what the hell’s going on! No, seriously, I don’t. Do I care? No! No, seriously, I don’t.

Picture a young, guileless, and innocent Davecat, seeing ‘Star wars’ (‘Episode Four’, for you rabid purists) for the very first time, back in 1977, at what was known back then as the Northland Theatre. My excitement level was, like most kids at that time, running desperately into the red. Robots! Spaceships! Aliens! Laser guns! Etc! That excitement level went up a little higher with ‘The Empire strikes back’, cos everyone likes ‘The Empire strikes back’, and leveled off with the third movie with the Ewoks, whose title, for the life of me, I cannot honestly recall.

Years passed, and not only did I get older, I got wiser, and various avenues opened up. Around the early Eighties, I started watching this quirky British scifi show called Doctor Who, and suddenly, straightforward American-made scifi seemed less and less ‘cool’. Sure, I saw the Star trek movies in the theatres like everyone else, but they were holding less of my interest with each passing year. (Except for ‘Wrath of Khan’. Everyone likes ‘Wrath of Khan‘.) Every weekday, I’d sit goggle-eyed watching the latest installment of Doctor Who, and of course, the coolest thing in the world would be to be a Timelord, tumbling headlong through Time and Space with a TARDIS (and a sexy companion) of my own. And when I wasn’t watching that, I was watching Ultraman.
I don’t know when it really dawned on me, but I think what drew me to such shows is yes, they had a high kitsch factor, but the writers got as much as they could with the limited special effects they had available. Sure, the special effects in ‘Star wars’ looked great at the time, but to me, the story was just boring. And Star trek was just very bleh straightforward. Part of the charm of the Doctor was his eccentricities — the viewers sometimes had no idea what he’d do next, not to mention his enemies or his companions. That alone was so much more fascinating to me than what was more or less a Western in space.

Then in 1987, the local channel that had been previously showing Ultraman started airing this brand-new show that was animated in Japan, and had these really sweet jet fighters that transformed into robots!!1! That show was called Robotech, and it was the Silver Key to the Gateway of New and Different Television Entertainment, or Something. I could go on about how Carl Macek, the producer, Frankensteined together three almost-totally unrelated shows in order to create Robotech, but that’s another post altogether. In any event, Star wars, Star trek and the like were completely dead to me from that point on.

But yeah, back to Lucas and his excretions! I saw Episodes One and Two, and my brain has such a resistance to anything bearing the conjunction of the words ‘Star’ and ‘Wars’, that both films were almost completely unmemorable. Here’s what I recall:
+ Darth Maul looked like a badass, but actually wasn’t a badass
+ Episode One contained Space Negroes (Jar-jar and his race), Space Arabs (that flying bug guy), and Space Chinese (the aliens in that giant round space station thing)
+ Yoda knew kung-fu
+ That Clone trooper battle at the end of Episode two was probably the best part of both movies
+ One of my old coworkers at Quest used to go out of his way to pronounce it ‘Palapaptine’, cos it was funnier
+ Ewan McGregor, Christopher Lee and Samuel L. Jackson stuck in a shitty franchise
+ Jango Fett is a really stupid fucking name
+ Not enough naked Natalie Portman

I’m sorry, I have no respect for a film director who can barely direct his actors, and insists on constantly sodomising his own back catalogue, for the sake of ‘perfection’. I gave both Lucas and his goiter money for the ‘THX 1138’ DVD, and that was only reluctantly, as it was a new version with unnecessary CG scenes shoehorned in. Unless he starts a fund to request money to publically kill himself, that’s the last cent he’ll ever see from me.
Having said that, however, I would like to see what I hope is the final Star wars movie, and I intend on seeing it in much the same fashion as I saw Episode One: sitting over at Mike‘s, watching a second-gen VHS copy that someone filmed with a videocamera at the back of a theatre. That way, I’ll be paying exactly what it’s worth!

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When in doubt, post your chat log

typed for your pleasure on 16 March 2005, at 4.49 am

Sdtrk: ‘The other side’ by Galaxie 500

Tomas, aka KrazyQ, aka Cog in the Machine, aka whatever screwball online handle he’s switched over to this week, was awake at quarter to 3 in the morn, due to either a splitting headache, or the constant haunting by the faces of those he’s wronged throughout his life, one or the other. He messaged me, and I finished sawing the rest of the way through my captive’s shoulder, and sat down at the computer for a wee chat.

[03.04.AM] Davecat: What do you need an .mp3 player for? You don’t even like music!
[03.04.AM] Cog in the Machine: I like musics!
[03.04.AM] Davecat: Really?
[03.04.AM] Davecat: ..you like brie?
[03.04.AM] Cog in the Machine: I listen to musics all the time when headphones at work!
[03.04.AM] Davecat: Ahhhh!
[03.04.AM] Cog in the Machine: when=with
[03.05.AM] Davecat: ‘when’ is funnier.
[03.05.AM] Cog in the Machine: I had one of them CD players with mp3 playing capabilities but it didn’t fit in my pocket
[03.05.AM] Davecat: You need a bigger pocket. Take kangaroos, for example.
[03.05.AM] Cog in the Machine: and it went tits up some weeks ago and I haven’t bought another yet because all the ones I saw were too trendy looking
[03.05.AM] Cog in the Machine: which is why I didn’t buy an iPod
[03.05.AM] Davecat: Pfft.
LOL
[03.06.AM] Davecat: You don’t like the way the iPod looks? It’s alright. It’s not stunning, but it’s not all that exciting.
[03.06.AM] Cog in the Machine: do the math….$300 for 20GB or $215 for 30GB
[03.07.AM] Cog in the Machine: I think iPod is sexy…sexy as in touching it makes me hard…but hard cash makes me cum…so the less of it I have to spend, the more cumming
[03.07.AM] Davecat: I don’t even know how much they are/how much they hold. I have no interest whatsoever in .mp3players. I bought my Cds, and if I had an .mp3 player, I’d have to convert ALL of my Cds to .mp3 format.. I don’t have that kind of time.
[03.07.AM] Davecat: Ahhhh!
[03.08.AM] Cog in the Machine: just about all my CD’s are mp3 format now…only takes a minute or so per CD…and I converted over the course of a month
[03.08.AM] Cog in the Machine: then whenever I get a new cd every few months, I add it to the library
[03.08.AM] Cog in the Machine: I have about 7GB nwo
[03.08.AM] Cog in the Machine: now
[03.08.AM] Davecat: Yeah, but how many Cds do you have?
[03.09.AM] Cog in the Machine: I have about 100?
[03.09.AM] Cog in the Machine: maybe?
[03.09.AM] Davecat: I LIKE Cds! I like their cover art, and all that crap. Much like how vinyl enthusiasts worried about Cd technology storming the barricades resisted the ‘changeover’ from vinyl to Cd.
[03.09.AM] Cog in the Machine: also I converted all of Adam’s Yello CDs…that’s about 40 right there.
[03.09.AM] Davecat: You didn’t count them just now, did you?
[03.10.AM] Cog in the Machine: no
[03.10.AM] Davecat: I’ve got 300+.
[03.10.AM] Cog in the Machine: guestimation
[03.10.AM] Cog in the Machine: so…every day you convert 10 or so
[03.10.AM] Davecat: 😐
[03.10.AM] Cog in the Machine: Musicmatch will lookup your CDs automatically and put in teh track names and artists infos and shits
[03.10.AM] Davecat: You can’t see the squinchy look on my face right now.
[03.11.AM] Davecat: O gods, Musicmatch. I don’t like the Win2K version for some reason. And me being me, if the tracks have names misspelled, I gotta correct them or it annoys the piss out of me.
[03.12.AM] Cog in the Machine: I have vesions 10
[03.12.AM] Cog in the Machine: it is a very good program
[03.13.AM] Davecat: I.. I have no idea what version I have.
I liked the Win98 version, but I used RealPlayer to play my Cds, and MusicMatch to burn them. Whenever I try to play a Cd, I fire up RealPlayer, and MusicMatch just horns in and starts up of its own accord.
[03.13.AM] Davecat: And I’ve changed the settings like one billion times..
[03.13.AM] Cog in the Machine: Musicmatch is far superior
[03.13.AM] Davecat: Yeah, but you hate RealPlayer.
[03.14.AM] Cog in the Machine: especially in the mp3 management departmetn
[03.14.AM] Cog in the Machine: which was the top criteria when choosing a player
[03.14.AM] Davecat: For burning, yes, it’s superior. But I don’t need all them bells and whistles. BELLS AND WHISTLES!
[03.14.AM] Cog in the Machine: I’ve converted Adam from Realplayer to Musicmatch…he’s slowly converting all his CDs to MP3 for an entertainment system computer
[03.15.AM] Davecat: Maybe if I had more than 14GB on my HD, I’d have more .mp3s sitting on it. I don’t like having things I want to keep on my main HD.. I live in constant fear of a HD crash.
[03.15.AM] Davecat: Cos IT’S HAPPENED BEFORE. :-\
[03.16.AM] Cog in the Machine: I have 1,621 tracks….125 hours 16 minutes and 9 seconds of musics
[03.16.AM] Davecat: Ahhhh!
[03.16.AM] Davecat: I have a few folders of .mp3s on my drive, but as soon as I get some blank disks, those babies are getting boooooorned..
[03.16.AM] Cog in the Machine: so if I get an FM tuner, I could plop that player in my car and listen to something different the entire way to portlands
[03.17.AM] Cog in the Machine: get a 120GB drive for like $100 buckers
[03.17.AM] Davecat: Well, that makes sense for yü. You’re constantly on the go, and you don’t want to haul six tons of Cds. I don’t go anywhere!
[03.17.AM] Cog in the Machine: but if you get jobs where you can listen to musics…;-)
[03.18.AM] Cog in the Machine: and schoolin!
[03.18.AM] Davecat: I still want you to help me assemble a new computer, but I’m tonr between saving for that, and saving for next semester.
[03.18.AM] Cog in the Machine: studying always requires music listenings and I studies often
[03.18.AM] Cog in the Machine: tonr?
[03.18.AM] Davecat: If I get a job where I listen to musics, like Quest, I’ll just dig out my old Cd player..
[03.18.AM] Davecat: ‘torn’, goddamnit

Hey, was that crazy, or what??
This is how most of the conversations in the dynamic of my circle of mates goes, needless to say. Usually though, there’s more swearing

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We have no concierge here, sorry

typed for your pleasure on 14 March 2005, at 2.48 am

Sdtrk: ‘Love dance of the Saroos’ by Joe Meek

Sweetie and I did another photo shoot on Sunday, which turned out pretty well.

I’m thinking that eventually Clicky Mk II, our seven-year-old, 1.3 megapixel digital camera, is going to need to be replaced, cos half the shots are darker than I thought they’d be. Still, we managed to get 50+ pictures in, so we got something accomplished..

Also, looking at my SiteMeter stats (thanx Brian, for getting me obsessed about this sort of thing 😉 I’ve noticed over the course of the week-end, there’s been quite a lot of humans stopping round ‘Shouting etc etc’ via Google, using the keywords ‘davecat’, ‘realdoll’ and ‘shi-chan’; I’m talking about 14 out of 30 hits from both Saturday and Sunday. Also, most of them seem to be from Canada. Hrm. Did that episode of ‘SexTV’ air again or something?
*waves frantically* HALLO, FROSTY HUMANS FROM THE NORTH! Leave a comment or something, cos you’re kinda creeping me out

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Dig that timestamp, baby

typed for your pleasure on 11 March 2005, at 6.04 am

Sdtrk: none right now, but ‘Suffragette city’ by David Bowie is running through my head

What the — it’s snowing again. I thought we were done with this bollock?! At the beginning of the week, temperatures were in the low fifties, and now, we’re told to expect three to four inches of snow. Ugh. Goddamn inconsistent Michigan weather. Mother Nature attends to the rest of the 48 contiguous first, then kicks back with a couple of drops of blotter acid, and then attends to Michigan’s climate. ‘Partly cloudy, with patches of sandpaper, and an intermittent shower of pound cakes by late this afternoon.’ Ugh.

MY ‘SOCIAL’ CALENDAR, BOTH NEAR AND FAR:
+ the Main Art Theatre in Royal oak will be showing ‘Steamboy‘, Katsuhiro Otomo’s latest long-awaited film, on 18 Mar. I remember reading stuff and seeing pre-production stills for this waaay back in the late Nineties. Even though we’ll be seeing it dubbed, it looks pretty ace
+ the magnificent Dears are opening for The Soundtrack of our lives at the Magic stick on 27 Mar. I’m going for The Dears; hopefully the other group won’t be entirely repellent
+ Tim tells me Bloc party are quite good. Well, they’re playing at the Magic stick 1 Apr, so we’ll see
+ Woo hoo! Adult. comes back home 6 May! Wait, that’s in May, that’s too far away right now to think about. Mark it down anyway, cos they’re a fine band, a fine band

OTHER JUNK I BELIEVE TO BE ENTIRELY IMPORTANT:
+ The most recent fillum by Takashi Miike, director of the lovely ‘Ichi the killer’, is called ‘Izo‘, and it looks like the most insane thing I’ve seen all week. Links to the trailer are labelled ’56kbps’, ‘500kbps’, and ‘1mbps’; Javascript is foxing me this evening, hence the lack of direct links.. ‘Izo’ is loosely based on a real-life samurai from 19th cen. Japan, who was unjustly sentenced to crucifixion. Now, since it’s Miike, all ties to reality pretty much end at that point, cos Izo’s spirit is so consumed with such a burning need for revenge, that not only is he resurrected, but Time and Space don’t mean a damn thing to him anymore. So he teleports from the feudal era, to WWII era Japan, to the 20th and 21st centuries, cutting up authority figures as well as anyone who opposes him. Thumbs up! Like I said, it’s Miike; expect nothing less than complete and total brain sodomy
+ I broke down and ordered my copy of ‘Weekend’, so I’ll be giggling like a schoolgirl when that arrives
+ Still haven’t bought Devil may cry 3 yet. I came close the last time I was at WorstBuy; I entered the store, and made a beeline for the videogames section, and grabbed a copy. It all started to fall apart when I wandered over to the DVD section to see what was out. Having seemingly found nothing, I was just about to head to the counter, when I saw that volume 2 of Sealab 2021 was out. ‘Holy crap,’ I mentally exclaimed, ‘volume 2 is already out?’ Seeing as that was a little over $20 cheaper, I put DMC3 away, and picked up the Sealab 2021 DVD. Then, I wandered over to the Cd section, which is where I spotted that Three imaginary boys reissue Cd, which was cheaper than the DVD I was gripping. I’m certain you can suss the rest. 😛
Not only that, I’ve been hearing a lot of reports that DMC3 is fecking difficult. I’ll pick it up eventually, but I’d like to believe I’m saving my dosh for Red ninja first, if anything else..

And that’s all I can think of! Wow, look at the time!
My brain is shuting dwn now. I’m goingt o put myslef inna bednow gbye

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Beyond Giger

typed for your pleasure on 7 March 2005, at 5.30 pm

Sdtrk: ‘G turns to D’ by Sloan

Usually when I’m on das InfoBahn, I’m either spending the majority of my time going through my bookmarks of RealDoll and similar Synthetik companion sites (twenty-one, at last count), or I’m wasting time on my two favourite image boards, 4chan and WAKAchan. It was on WAKAchan where I learned that some artist bloke that I’d never heard of before, by the name of Zdzisław Beksiński, was stabbed to death in his home in Poland.
Now, cos it’s an image board, someone had posted a couple of pics of Beksiński’s pieces, and at first glace, I thought they’d been done by H.R Giger. Pretty close, yeah, but Giger’s territories seem like they’d be more likely on an alien world, whereas Beksiński’s works somehow seem more suited towards our planet; albeit after Revelations.

Give his stuff a look-in. In their own nightmarish way, they’re beautiful paintings, and they tend to remain in your mind long after you look at them. It’s really a tragedy that Beksiński was senselessly murdered, but at least his works will always be around

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Swagfest ’99, and a Question

typed for your pleasure on 3 March 2005, at 10.28 pm

Sdtrk: ‘L’enfer’ by Coralie Clément

Today, I ventured to the mythical and hazardous land known as Outsidemyhousevania, in order to run some errands. I was also expecting a call from an ex-coworker in order to see if we could get together on Friday, but as I more or less expected, she didn’t call back. :-\
So I filled the void in my heart with purchases! Hooray for Stuff!

+ the March issue of Newtype (woo hoo, ep.2 of Cromartie High school is on the free DVD! Now I can see if the series is worth buying)
+ Party of one: The Loners’ Manifesto, as suggested by Lily‘s lad, PBShelley
+ the Bye bye Beauté Cd by Coralie Clément. I’d never heard of her before, but there was some sort of sticker on the front that suggested that if you like Ivy, Stereolab or some other bands, that you might like this; plus the fact that I’m a sucker for Sixties-style French pop chanteuses forced me to pick it up. So far, not altogether bad, but the only similarity to Stereolab is that Coralie sings in French
+ the remastered version of The cure’s Three imaginary boys Cd (two disks, 20 extra tracks)
+ plus some sushi (eel & cucumber gunkan and one shrimp nigiri), five pieces of inari, and a can of UCC Coffee

So my question: When did BestBuy start ‘requiring’ your phone number whenever you make a purchase? I’m at the cashier’s desk, paying for the Cure Cd, and she asks me ‘Telephone number, staring with area code, please?’ I of course gave some number that doesn’t exist — or, at the very least, isn’t mine. And it wasn’t as if I a) made a large purchase over $200, or b) paid with a credit/debit card or cheque! It would be a little more understandable for them to ask for a phone number for verification *coughsolicitingcough* purposes, but this is a $16 Cd here! I remember when they started that bollocks, asking for ZIP codes at RadioShack years ago, and once again, I’d always lie, but that isn’t as ridiculous/invasive as asking someone’s phone number.

My other question: Does anyone actually give out their real number to these companies? If so, d’ya think they’d like to buy a bridge from me?

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