Sdtrk: ‘What she said’ by the Smiths

(Catch yourself up with Part I or Part II first, if need be..)

SATURDAY 26 AUGUST
The third leg (tee hee, ‘third leg’) of the filming for Swedish telly began with a call at 10am from Clas. After getting Sidore-chan properly dressed and as sexy as allowed by the Geneva Convention, I smeared camouflage makeup all round my face, slid my buck knife into its sheath, adjusted my bandolier straps and headband, gritted my teeth, and prepared to face the Swiss for the final time. Err, I meant ‘the Swedes’, sorry.

Anna & Clas showed up in a different rental — something burgundy — and were summarily impressed with our house, and the surrounding neighbourhood. If you’ve never visited Detroit, you’ll be pleasantly pleased to learn that we have many pleasing sub-divisions for your pleasure. It’s true: not all of Detroit is a smouldering desolate husk!* I think the city tourist board should really consider using that as their slogan, as it is a Guaranteed Winner.
To be honest, I don’t remember the details of when we shot at the house, as I was preoccupied with keeping my sweating down to a minimum. The house that Shi-chan and I stay in was built in the late Twenties, and as such, has no central air, and our room seems to have hideously good heat-rentention properties. Factor in 1) it was a humid day in August, 2) Anna & Clas had turned on every light in the room, and 3) they had all the fans off, as they create ambient noise, and you have a sweaty Davecat. Don’t worry, that visual’s as disgusting to me as it undoubtedly is to you. During a lull in filming, I’d planted myself in front of one of my room fans, and had opened my cardigan to direct the air all over my drenched torso. Anna spotted this and remarked, ‘You seem really hot!’ Ah heh heh. *grits teeth* MUST… NOT… KILL THEM… TODAY…
After going an hour past our finishing time, they gathered their things, and I gathered the Missus, in order to get round to the hotel they were lodging at. I have to admit that I was starting to get a wee bit irritable — well, irritable for Saturday; as far as the whole experience, I’d been cranky since that three-hour ride to Escondido — so I decided I’d amuse myself by throwing a number of deliberate continuity errors into the sequence where they were filming me ‘preparing to leave’ for Abyss. Spot them, and win a prize!

We motored over to the hotel that Anna & Clas were lodging at, which was not too far from my hideous workplace, all told, so I was familiar with the way. Anna, who was the de facto navigator in our crew, was strangely thrown into a bit of a panic, as the route I was driving deviated from the one carved in stone by Google Maps.
ANNA: ‘Are we supposed to be turning here?’
DAVECAT: ‘No, but I know how to get there, don’t worry.’
– later –
ANNA: ‘There’s the exit for 10 North. The map says we should take that..’
DAVECAT: ‘I know. The road we’re on runs north; we’re headed north.’
Heh, how the hell would I know how to get there without a map?? It’s only a couple of miles past where I’ve been working for the past 11 months! As you suspect, it was getting on my wick..
We arrived, surprisingly without bloodshed, pulled up to a side door about eight rooms from the Swedes’ room, and unloaded the Missus’ purple office chair. Clas had some spectacularly ill-conceived plan of hoisting Shi-chan through their room window, which I nixed immediately, so we hurriedly wheeled her down the hallway.

After a short break, wherein I introduced the pair to The Wonder That Is Quizno’s, and where I learned that Anna was a Leo, and Clas a Scorpio, we came back and arranged the ‘living room’ (they were staying in a suite, you see) as if it was my living room, with the use of some props, i.e books, that they had me grab from my shelves. The whole reason for this was because, as previously mentioned, it just tended to get too bloody hot in my room, and in the house in general, so to the viewing public of Sweden, the hotel room would stand in for our living room, as there was central air available there. Although you’d have to be awfully stupid to believe that, given how yuppified the decor is. So you can undoubtedly picture me vibrating with rage when, just before filming started, they turned off the air, ‘so the mic wouldn’t pick up the noise’. Then why the fuck did we even drive to the hotel?? I have to say, I really dig looking like I’ve been showering with my clothes on while on-camera. Once again, the Swedes clearly went out of their way to make their subject as comfortable as possible, for a relaxed and informal interview. Fucking brilliant.
Shi-chan was the picture of grace, as always. Not a single (audible) word of complaint from her. 🙂

Anna asked the usual passel of questions — why did you buy a RealDoll, how many of your friends know about Sidore, how would you define your relationship with her, etc etc — again, that part was a big ol’ blur. Some people might think it’s a bit tiresome saying essentially the same things over and over from interview to interview, but I always think of what the great John Waters once said: ‘Never act like you’re bored, even if you’ve heard the questions a million times. These people haven’t asked it before. Put yourself on automatic pilot, think about your laundry, a book you’re reading, anything. Always act like it’s the first time you ever told a particular anecdote.’ Sound advice! Now, quite obviously I’m on a mission to sing the Praises of Synthetik Companionship to anyone with an open mind, but I must remember to pick up more dryer sheets. Heh, you know what’s dumb, but slightly amusing? This happened to me the other day: when you’re walking around with a dryer sheet stowed away in your trousers, and it makes its way down your leg, and eventually out the bottom. You spot it, and for a few seconds, you’re like ‘is that…?’ and then you chuckle. Then you worry that people might’ve seen it lingering round your trouser cuffs, and mistaken it for an errant length of bog roll. Now that would be awkward.
Err, sorry, what was the question again?

Towards the end of the questions segment, things got a wee bit strange. Well, strange for me, anyway: Anna had asked if I could undress Shi-chan for the camera. Now, it’s not like she’s been near-nude before, as anyone who’s read ‘Still Lovers’, or seen our segment on SexTV, or had seen her photos plastered all over ‘Kitten with a Whip!’ can attest, but I wasn’t comfortable with the shoot taking that route. Maybe it was due to the heat, maybe it was my latent irritability with how Anna & Clas were handling the interview experience, but I just didn’t want to undress her. So I’d refused, but the thing that really got to me is that Anna kept on asking, or at the very least, asking why I didn’t want to. And I found myself floundering for a decent answer. Truth be told, I don’t even recall what my answer was, but it just struck me as being indicative of the whole week-end. These were people who weren’t really going out of their way to make me, the subject of their segment and the reason that they flew from one country to another, very comfortable, and moreover, they didn’t seem to give too much of a shit about it. Her approach at that particular moment seemed both prurient and insensitive. Say, for instance, they were interviewing someone else, such as someone who had been held hostage for weeks. Would Anna have relentlessly probed that person for the really juicy stuff? I don’t know if that was her usual interview approach, or if that’s just the way they do things in Sweden, but that didn’t sit well with me.

A few final questions later — I’m sure my refusal killed a couple of potential questions — Clas stated that he wanted to get some shots of Sweetie and I watching telly and interacting in ‘our’ ‘livingroom’: he filmed me reading some book of Anna’s whilst I was lying across Shi-chan’s lap, as well as speaking on the phone with Mike, who coincidentally rang me at that point, and applying more lippy to the Missus. If I’m not mistaken, every single instance when we’ve been on camera, they’ve always asked me to do Sweetie’s lipstick. The footage may not always make the final edit, but it’s almost a given that I’ll, at some point, have to touch up her lippy. We’d make a drinking game out of it, but neither of us drink…
At one point during a lull in the action, Clas was changing tapes, and that hilarious/alarming Geico insurance advert featuring Little Richard came on. Both the Swedes stared in amazement at his intermittent howling, which I found amazing, cos I thought Little Richard was known the world over. ‘Is he a gay? enquired Anna. ‘We, ah… we don’t really know,’ I replied.

Our party was slated to collect Monti and get round to Nippon kai, a 45min trip in and of itself, at 8pm; so, as per standards, we started breaking the equipment down and getting ready to leave at a quarter to 8. ‘Sometimes tv crews go over schedule,’ explained Clas. Heh, is that a fact, mate? Well, I suppose they can play the whole affair fast and loose; it’s not their kroners they’re spending, after all…
After a brief drive under a sky that was threatening to rain, our party pulled up to the restaurant. Monti and I were fitted with our lavaliers, and unlike Allison’s shoot where I came in with Sweetie through the backdoor in the kitchen, this time I boldly wheeled her in through the front entrance, past the six or so customers assembled in the restaurant. Much like Allison’s shoot, though, we set up in the private room in the back, for obvious reasons. The staff of Nippon kai was gracious as always, and generous to a fault. They even permitted Clas to get behind the sushi counter and wedge himself between a couple of chefs in order to film the room from there; which, to be honest, embarrassed the hell out of me…

Before filming commenced in extant, yet after securing Shi-chan to her seat — as it was smooth wood; she kept wanting to slide off, but she has special straps she carries round in her purse for just those sorts of situations — we placed our orders, as we were all feckin’ starving. Anna & Clas polished off their meals first, so they could move away from the table and film some pickup shots of Monti & I interacting with Sweetie and each other. As we weren’t sure as to if the programme would be aired with all non-Svenska speakers dubbed or subbed, Monti and I were wondering as to how well our snappy repartee would translate. Since she and I have such a similarly warped and sarcastic sense of humour, sometimes even native speakers of English don’t always initially pick up on what we’re saying, and when we’re both going, we kinda feed off each other. How the feck would the translation crew be able to distill and decipher our witty throwaway lines? (As it turned out, I was subtitled for my interview bits, but our conversation was neither subbed or dubbed.)
A nice point during that sequence was when Suzue, one of the charming waitresses that knows Monti & I as semi-regulars, was refilling our cups of tea. She turned to me, indicated Shi-chan, and asked ‘Would she like some tea, too?’ Lovely individual!

Since the Swedes already had plenty of good footage of me, most of that part of the evening’s footage centred round Monti. They asked her like half an hour’s worth of questions; I deliberately paid no attention, as I wanted it to be a surprise when I saw her part during the programme. I have to add here that Monti’s a fantastic individual for putting up with this sort of chicanery, especially on such relatively short notice. But it’s all for a good cause, and besides, as I always remind her, without her influence, Sidore and I would not be the relentlessly-in-love-with-each-other couple that we are today. Thanks (again), Monti!

As it was fast approaching Nippon kai’s closing time, Anna took some time whilst we were finishing the rest of our food to hastily write up release forms for Monti & I to fill out, which I thought was somewhat odd. What with all the appearances on telly and film that I’ve made, I’m used to the concept of release forms, but I’m accustomed to ones that have been, y’know, typed and printed out. Chalk that up to another bit of neglectfulness on the film crew’s part, I guess…
I got to chat briefly with Suzue and her sushi chef husband again as we were packing up our sundry belongings to leave. She asked me if Shi-chan had a kimono, and I said no, but she does have a yukata. ‘She hasn’t worn it yet, cos I’m not sure how to tie it up on her,’ I’d added, at which point, Suzue offered to help me dress Sidore in her yukata properly one day. Yes, a lovely individual. 🙂

Round 10am Sunday, Clas left a message on my voicemail, wanting to know if they could film me walking round in front of my house. Sunday is my Wind-down Day; on a normal Sunday, I get up at noon. So I blew them off, and didn’t speak to them until I was sure they were en route to Metro round 7pm. That was yet another half-baked last-minute ‘idea’ they had. Had they mentioned the possibility of shooting on Sunday — even as late as Sat night — I might’ve said yes, but once again, they were pulling dodgy ‘surprises’. My ignoring them was probably not a very professional thing to have done, and I understand that there’s a certain amount of spontaneity with these kinds of shoots, but they’d said we’d be filming on Fri and Sat, not Fri, Sat and Sun. It’s called a schedule. Learn how to make one in advance, and stick to it.

My experience with Anna & Clas overall? Not 100% bad, but out of the five television or film crews I’ve dealt with, they definitely rank last. Hrm. Maybe Sidore-chan and I finally need an agent?

*just about 50% of it. Then there’s 30% that’s borderline sketchy, and the final 20% consists of the legitimately nice areas. Enjoy all that Detroit has to offer!

Technorati tags: Davecat, Sidore, RealDoll, iDollator, Abyss Creations, Titan Television

Sdtrk: ‘Les chemins de fer’ by Notre-dame

Nick Holt, director of the fab documentary ‘Guys and Dolls‘, says:

Guys & Dolls is repeated on Channel Five next Tuesday 10th October at the later time of 11pm due to popular demand. Tune in if you are in the UK!

So there ya go. Also, he mentioned this to me in an Email, just after it was first aired:

Well the film went out last night and was watched by 1.5 million people, gaining a 9% share of the overall British TV audience at that time. This is considered very good indeed. In fact my commissioning editor at Channel 5 rang me up twice. Once to tell me that the film was ‘a hit’ and one of the highest rating documentaries for the channel in that time slot. Ever. And again to tell me he has never before experienced such a huge response to a film going out.

You can’t see us from here, but Sidore and I are nodding approvingly

Sdtrk: ‘Tennis racket’ by Autocollants

Just finished a 40 min interview via phone with Marilena Astrapellou, a lass currently in London, who’s writing an article about iDollators for a magazine to be published in Greece before the year’s out. Yes; she’d seen ‘Guys and Dolls‘, and I’ve no idea if she was the one inspired by that documentary, or if her publisher was, or what. It was kinda hard to hear her in spots, as she was using a speakerphone. I hate speakerphones. ‘Hey, I can’t hear anything on the other end while I’m talking, and vice versa’. Ugh. Well, what are ya gonna do.

Speaking of ‘Guys and Dolls’, I’ve had a videocassette copy since mid-last week. The end product is actually a lot better than I thought it would be, but it, ah, ends prematurely at the 47 min mark — the physical tape was shorter than the programme recorded to it. VHS, you so crazy. So the producer’s got a proper copy wending its way through the post to me as we speak..
And yes, I know I still have to write part trois of ‘What Would Loki Do?’ Have you even read the first two parts yet? They’re heady.

In the meantime, I’m currently downloading the fansub of ‘A contact’, the first compilation fillum for Space runaway Ideon, the most upbeat anime series ever made, so I’m stepping away from the computer for a little while. Anyone want anything while I’m up?

Technorati tags: Davecat, Sidore, RealDoll, iDollator, Guys and Dolls, Five, UK television, Ideon

Sdtrk: ‘Cruenta voluptas’ by NON

For those of you who reside in England, you’ll be ‘pleased’ to know that Sidore-chan and I, along with Everhard and his lasses, the famous Gordon Griggs and his lasses, and ‘Dr Jackson’, will be on your televisions this very evening. I just received an Email from ex-Geordie director Nick Holt, that said the finished documentary, ‘Guys and Dolls’ (that title was Nick’s idea, if I recall correctly), will be on Five on 18 September, at 2200 GMT. You can find a listings check right here.

Sorry for the short notice, but I was just told today by Nick, and Nick was just told today by the people at Five. So there you have it. Hopefully I don’t like a complete twat — although that’s a possibility that can’t be ruled out, y’know.

Set your VCRs! Do people even use VCRs anymore?

ADDENDUM (6.45pm): Looking over my blog’s stats, I guess it aired!..
Info for the innately curious: 1) I’m working on rebuilding Sidore’s site, ‘Kitten with a Whip!’, so in the meantime, you’ll just have to settle for her Flickr page, 2) blah blah blah my YouTube page, and 3) you’ll find more Doll-related info in the lefthand sidebar, in the Categories area. Enjoy, and try not to break anything

Technorati tags: Davecat, Sidore, RealDoll, iDollator, Guys and Dolls, Five, UK television

Sdtrk: ‘Oh gosh’ by Sandie Shaw

zOMG WHERE IS ‘KITTEN WITH A WHIP!’??
If you currently tune in to ‘KWAW!‘, right now it’s kinda gone. What this means is that The Great Movening is finally nigh. Hoorej! This past Saturday, Steph and I started back on work on Shi-chan’s long-neglected site; specifically, regarding transfering ISPs. So right now it’s down, but cross fingers, it should be running once again round the week-end. And then the big changes will begin to occur shortly after that, for both ‘Kitten with a Whip!’ as well as ‘Shouting to hear the echoes’. Neat!

Here’s a spoiler: Things will happen

Sdtrk: ‘Rot in the core’ by Apatheia

(Late arrival? Why not start at the beginning?)

FRIDAY, 25 AUGUST
After extricating myself from the hotel bed with a crowbar — I swear to “Bob”, they must rivet those sheets in place — Anna, Clas and I convened at 8am in the hotel’s ‘breakfast room’, which was an unimpressive little canteen, for what was ostensibly breakfast. I say ‘ostensibly’, cos there was no bacon anywhere to be seen, and as everyone knows, Bacon Makes It Better™. So I ‘enjoyed’ a muffin, and a plain bagel. I’m noting what I had for tax write-off purposes, of course.

An hour later, we were en route to the legendary Abyss creations, and after a handful of wrong turns and some solicited directions from the locals, we’d arrived there at 10am. I’d have to say that whole experience was rather fab; I got to see Abyss’ new location, as they’ve moved since 2001, and the new locale is better suited to their needs — it’s two floors, with the factory being downstairs. Plus, it’s more sequestered, which, considering what they make, makes sense..
After the cursory meet-and-greet, and the ‘what do you hope to see here today?’ interview the Swedes did with me just outside the front doors of the building, I’d met with Matt — not Matt McMullen, Matt Krivicky (sp?), a pleasant six-foot-something bloke sporting a mohawk and a spiffy pair of New Rock boots. It seems that Matt McMullen was in Vancouver at the time of the filming, as one of his sons had taken ill, and he obviously had to see about them. Sofia had informed me of this a couple of days before I’d flown out there, and I was kinda disappointed, as I was looking forward to seeing Matt M. again, as well as having him autograph my copies of ‘Still lovers‘ and ‘Des poupées et des hommes‘. Alas! But meeting Matt K. was still pretty fab, I have to say. It turns out that he was one of the blokes that Matt M. used to work with at a special effects company, and Matt K. is now a full-time creative consultant / part-time sculptor for Abyss. He loves his work, as evidenced by his enthusiasm in speaking about anything Doll-related, and he’s diplomatic to a fault, as he’d mentioned on a couple of occasions how RealDolls, apart from being stunning works of art, can range from being simple high-end fetish toys, all the way up to life partners, depending on the consumer. (He knew of myself and Sidore, naturally, as well as a few other Doll husbands.) I’m trying to think of one of the things he’d said that struck me.. he said it was humbling doing what he does, as really, on its basest level, it’s a 9-to-5 job, but what he and the rest of the Abyss staffers produce has the ability to impact and change the lives of more than a few individuals. Apart from making a good sound byte, that statement is absolutely true. Without people like the Abyss staff, people like myself would be considerably more miserable, and corny as it sounds, they are in the business of manufacturing happiness. *thinks* Yeah, that does sound corny, but you know what I’m getting at.

The method how the whole segment was conducted was either Anna would ask us questions off camera, or she would have Matt K. ask me some questions related to my aspect of being an iDollator, or Clas would simply film the pair of us walking round the shop floor, whilst Matt explained this, that or the other. It was very informal, and I learned quite a bit about how RealDolls are made. We’d briefly met the other staffers — two of whom were named Dave, oddly enough — as well as the lady who did all of the Dolls’ makeup. Like I’d said, the whole affair was really ace and informative, as really any insight as to what goes into the creation of one of your favourite things would be. Unless your favourite thing happens to be sausages.
Unfortunately, the other disappointment we’d had whilst at the factory was that there were no finished Dolls present, as they’d all been shipped out the day before! Upon reflection, that may very well have been a Good Thing, as I would’ve been far too distracted with all the lovely silicone lasses about (and the subsequent fondling) to be coherent on camera.

Towards the end, Matt K. had made mention of Matt M.’s new artistic endeavour, which would be his band called Nick Black, as well as the whole concept behind that. It’s a multimedia project, but really it boils down to Matt M. wanting to rock out, as it were. Nothing wrong with rocking out! I don’t do enough of that myself! But what Matt K. told me about it, it sounds really interesting, so there’s that to look forward to.
Also, Anna, Clas & I were privy to a brand-new special edition Doll that Matt K. was working on sculpting. There weren’t any NDAs that I had to sign, but she’s not yet complete, and obviously they want to keep everything under their hat. I managed to get some pics, however, that I’d be willing to Email to any interested parties for $7000 a pop. Any takers?
We wrapped up the shooting round 3pm, so we could battle traffic all the way from San Marcos to LAX once again, hoo-rah. Matt K. loaded me up with some swag (a free RealDoll t-shirt, both of the posters, a catalogue, and the Nick Black Cd), and we had to say our goodbyes at that point. I don’t know if I can say which visit was better; this one, or my trip back in 2001, but getting round there will always be an ace experience. To say that making a yearly pilgrimage to Abyss would be something I’d love to engage in is a given, really..

After performing the automotive equivalent of swimming upstream, we managed to make it to the Hertz rental lot in time, checked in the car, loaded our luggage on the shuttle, travelled to the airport proper, checked in aforementioned luggage, waited in the security queue once again, got re-dressed (apparently, Anna & Clas took less time to be patted down and whatnot than I did), and reconvened in the lobby just before the terminal. I then made a direct beeline to the airport Burger King, as remember, I was being powered strictly by a 20oz bottle of A&W, and my muffin and bagel breakfast.
Definition of highway robbery: Normally when I’m at Burger king, I’ll buy a hamburger (no pickles), and a large order of fries, which usually averages $2.65. At LAX, the same exact meal ran me $4.75. Is it cos it’s the airport? Is it because it’s El Lay? Is it because God is dead?? I couldn’t honestly tell you.
So the Swedes had gone to an adjacent restaurant, and suggested I meet them there when I’d received my food, but when I’d caught up with them, they had grabbed one of those tiny tables in the back, and there was only enough room and chairs for two people. At this point, I was overly warm, rather knackered, and a little exasperated at their lack of foresight that I simply told them that I had to make a call, and that I’d see them on the plane. I’d loped off to the terminal proper, and, as it was already crowded and I didn’t feel like wedging myself in between two individuals just to get at one of the few empty seats, I remained standing, made a brief call to Tsukihime, and wolfed down my burger and fries before the plane arrived.

On the plane, it turns out that not only had I been once again denied a window seat, but I was sat between two blabby lasses! One was more talkative than the other, but as I was in the middle, when the one on the right wasn’t attempting to engage me in idle conversation, she was talking over me to the one on my left. Eventually, the inevitable question came up, ‘So what were you in California for?’
‘Ahh, not much. Some friends flew me out to San Marcos so I could be part of a presentation dealing with Synthetik humans.’
‘What are.. Synthetic humans??’
‘Well, you know, Androids — which are male humanoid robots, Gynoids — which are female humanoid robots, things of that nature. They wanted me to be a part of it cos I’ve had personal experience with that sort of thing for about six and a half years.’
Honestly, the shit I get away with sometimes..

The four-hour flight was unsettlingly turbulent, but I did manage to finish my copy of Nicholson Baker’s ‘The Fermata’, which was jaw-droppingly funny. We arrived and disembarked without incident at 12.45am EST. Remember how in the previous instalment I’d mentioned wanting to take the tram back, so as to save wear and tear on my legs? Well, that was closed. In fact, all of the stores were closed as well. That’s another thing that shags me off about airports: if you have people arriving from various planes at all hours of the day and night, why then would you close your stores and restaurants?? Apparently, the concept called ‘third shift’ is generally unknown to them. Infuckingcredible.
So in following Anna & Clas to the luggage claim zone, I’d asked them how we were going to tackle things on Saturday; when I’d spoken with Sofia, I’d mentioned that as the weather would be more warm that I usually prefer it, we could do some shooting at my house, then film a segment with them interviewing Monti and myself over at Noble fish, a sushi bar in Clawson, and then film Shi-chan, Monti and I at Nippon kai once again. Also, if things got too warm, we would move the proceedings to the Swedes’ hotel room at whatever place they were staying. To my chagrin, they told me they had no idea when we’d start, nor what order we would be filming, or even where any of the locations were. I think they said they knew where their hotel was, but they didn’t have their notes on them at the time. They seemed a bit lost, quite frankly. A more charitable person would chalk it up to jetlag, but I’d attribute it to not really having a plan as to what the fuck we would be doing. Correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t it have made more sense to have everything planned out on paper extensively, as to where we’d be, how we’d get there, how long we’d be there, and what we’d do there? Even if it wasn’t charted out minute-to-minute on paper, standing round the luggage carousels before heading our separate ways for the eve wasn’t the time to be vaguely solidifying what our game plan was. I’d expect that kind of laissez-faire attitude from a crew with a lower budget, mucking about but not expecting any serious results, but certainly not from people employed by a television company from a far-off land. It sounds a little pretentious to say so, but I’ve dealt with four other television / film crews before, and the Swedes struck me as rather unprofessional. That was my impression.
So in the midst of Anna & Clas floundering as to when we’d even meet up the next day, Tsukihime rung me, as she was just pulling up to my terminal. ‘My ride’s here and I have to get going,’ I’d told the Swedes. ‘Why don’t you call me at 10am tomorrow, and we’ll go from there?’ I gave a cursory wave, and wheeled my luggage out of there. I stayed round at Tsukihime’s for a bit, venting mostly, and drowsily made my way home round 2.30am.

Quite a day! And I still had the whole of Saturday to look forward to! Ah heh heh

NEXT UP: The stunning conclusion!

Technorati tags: Davecat, Sidore, RealDoll, iDollator, Abyss Creations, Titan Television

Sdtrk: ‘I found the F’ by Broadcast

As previously mentioned, Sidore-chan and I had been requisitioned for yet another television interview; this time airing on a show called ‘Outsiders’ on Titan Television, for the good people of Sweden. It was Three Days of Driving, Flying and Sweating!

THURSDAY, 24 AUGUST
By the time I reached Northwest terminal A8 at Detroit’s Metropolitan airport, I was already sweating like a New York waiter. It was partially due to all that bloody walking from one end of the fecking airport to the other, but it seemed to set a ridiculously moist and annoying precedent for the whole week-end.
But perhaps I should start at the beginning!

As my flight was due to take off at 7.26pm, I had gotten round to my friend Tsukihime’s at 5pm; she lives about 15min away from Metro airport, and was gracious enough to let me leave my car there, and drive me to Metro. Lovely lass; wouldn’t hear a word against her.
Now, since Jan, they’d been revamping the airport (probably before then, actually), and as I love airports, I was perfectly happy with waiting round for a couple of hours. However, the airport I had known through my youth was long gone. It was bigger, and completely stripped of the wood panelling I enjoyed so much. I’m led to believe that with the fact that Detroit was host to the XXXIII Superblow at the head of this year, they wanted to undoubtedly bring the appearance of Metro kicking and screaming out of 1971. So as a consequence, the airport, or at least McNamara Terminal, is now vast and enormous. It has a tram system and moving walkways, but it looks like a bloody mall. There’s a Japanese cuisine on the concourse, along with a Quizno’s, but it’s not as intimate and close as the Metro that I’d always known. My best friend Sean and I would periodically meet with a friend of ours named Tammy, who lived behind Metro airport, and we would waste hours of our Saturdays there. One time, when we’d brought Monti along, the four of us managed to persuade a luggage porter to ride us around a couple of terminals on one of those motorised yellow carts, which was beyond ace. Plus, we managed to get the whole adventure on videotape! Good times, good times.
But yeah! Metro’s too bloody big now. But at least they have a tram. Which I definitely would’ve used had I known it existed, as I had to walk from the security area, all the way to the end of one of the wings. Try doing that in steel-toed boots, matey. Not a good idea.

Speaking of the security area, due to the recent bollocks over in England, now liquids and gels are verboten on flights. Bloody ridiculous. The security attendant made me abandon my aerosol deodorant as well as my toothpaste! I have to agree with (justifiably) cranky Harry Hutton — the real terrorists are the people who thought to ban things like nail clippers, toothpaste, and juice boxes. I thought they were gonna give me stick about my wrist belts, which I usually have to hide whenever I cross the border into Canada, not to mention my beloved steel-toed German tank boots, but they passed through without incident. Huh?
It’s a rather lengthy and idiotic process. Anything questionable or metallic on your person, including shoes of all sorts, you had to strip off, place in a deep tray, and slide it through the X-ray machine. They don’t do the wanding thing anymore, as that would probably slow down the process even further. They then pick through your luggage if need be — which is what happened to me, so I had some security lass rustling through my underwear — and then, after you’re not established as being a threat, they hand you back your stuff, and it takes you five minutes to get dressed again. Really; what price security?

My plane — a Northwest Airlines mid-sized jet — would have taken off on schedule, but due to runway delays, we didn’t actually leave until about 8pm. Upon reflection, I should’ve checked my seating (one of the people over at Titan television had booked it), as I would’ve preferred a window seat, but was instead sat in the middle; some suedehead was in the window seat, reading a book in French. Really, though, the being in the air part of the flight itself went without a hitch, which only reminded me of how ace air travel in general really is. Apart from the tag team of loud infants, of course. I had thought — no, hoped — that a new development of air travel would be to stow all children under the age of, say, eight, in a soundproofed lower berth of the aircraft. Or, at the very least, ship them like luggage, where they’d be waiting on the carousel at your destination. I consider myself a forward thinker.
I have to note, that at one point, the little beast that was a couple of seats behind me was screaming ‘TAKE IT AWAY! TAKE IT AWAAAYY!!’ for some godforsaken reason. It was as if I were listening to Nine inch nails..

Having arrived safely at Los Angeles Airport after a four hour and fifty-eight minute flight, I wandered round Terminal 2 for a male and female couple who looked as if they were descended from Vikings. Now, one of the things I was looking forward to is that Sofia (the person at Titan television orchestrating this whole venture) had told me that the film crew of Anna and Clas would be waiting for me at the terminal, holding a sign with ‘Davecat’ written on it, which I was ecstatic about, as I’ve never had anyone do that for me in my entire life. If only! Instead, they were an hour late, due to navigating LA’s labyrinthine roads. It can’t be held entirely against them, as LA’s motorways have reduced lesser men to shuddering, sobbing heaps.
So my interrogators from Sverige consisted of interviewer Anna Jillhed, a blonde (duh, Sweden) lass with a habit of indulging in smokeless tobacco, and cameraman Clas Elofsson, a former IKEA driver (duh, Sweden) who looked facially a wee bit like fellow iDollator Everhard, but with a rounder head. We exchanged pleasantries, piled into their rental car, and took off for our Comfort Inn in Escondido.
Interesting to note: According to Google Maps, the distance between these two locations is one hour, forty seven minutes. For some bizarre fantastical reason, it took us just under three hours to get there. Oddly enough, I believe we passed two additional airports on the way to the hotel. ‘Why didn’t they fly into San Diego Airport, just south of San Marcos?’, you axe? Well, apparently Anna & Clas were shooting a previous article in El Lay a couple of days before I’d arrived; also, as San Diego isn’t as big as LAX, there would’ve been layovers. But why was the drive longer than it should’ve been? Fuck if I know.

After making a detour to find a 7-11, so I could purchase some toothpaste and deodorant *shaking head*, we pulled into the Comfort Inn, were given our room keys, and sloped off to our rooms, somewhere in the neighbourhood of 2am PST. Of course, as far as my body was concerned, it was 5am EST. Egad.

During the few minutes I had before tumbling headlong into sleep, I was trying to suss just what was up with the Swedes, as they were kinda rubbing me the wrong way. With every film/tv crew that I’ve previously dealt with, they had made an effort to do their homework on me and the concept of Synthetiks; or, at the very least, ask a passel of questions about those subjects during any time we had between filming; like, say, a 2+ hour drive, for instance. Did they have any questions? Not a one. Furthermore, whenever I brought up the topic of Dolls, they seemed largely uninterested. With Elisabeth, Elena and Allison’s crews, I’d really lucked out, as they genuinely found the subject fascinating, and as such, were fun to talk to, and a pleasure to work with. The vibe I got from Anna & Clas was ‘ehh, it’s a job; let’s do this and get it overwith’. For fuck’s sake, people, if you don’t actually give a toss, fake it. At the very least, it would make me feel better.
On top of that, they spent a good chunk of the drive, and indeed, their whole visit, speaking to each other in Swedish. Yes yes, I know that’s their native tongue, but it’s a little.. non-inclusive. That’s the sort of behaviour you engage in when I’m not around, not when you’re trying to buddy up to the subject of your filming. Given their apparent disinterest, how was I to know they weren’t talking about me?
And when they weren’t doing that, they were busy flirting with each other. Heh. But more on that later.

Needless to say, I didn’t exactly hit the sack in the highest of spirits. Well, there was being at Abyss tomorrow to look forward to, at least..

NEXT UP: Friday!

Technorati tags: Davecat, Sidore, RealDoll, iDollator, Abyss Creations, Titan Television