Evidence of pre-rubber humankind

typed for your pleasure on 23 September 2020, at 12.29 am

Sdtrk: ‘Pyjamarama’ by Roxy music

Several months ago, an iDollator mate of mine and I were chatting via text, and surprisingly, the topic turned to mannequins. I’m not actually being clever when I say ‘surprisingly’, as I can’t recall how the conversation shifted, and as this was months ago, if you think I’m going to scroll through my texts to discover why, you lot are out of your minds. But! Our chat did give me an idea, as there’s a part of Synthetik History we have here at Deafening silence Plus that I don’t think we shared with new girl Dyanne

~ later ~

DYANNE: ‘so whatcha got in here? 🤔😯’
ME: ‘Before I moved out of my parents for the first time, every couple of months I’d write letters — actual physical letters — to various mannequin companies, asking them to send me catalogues. That box contains everything I’d received over two or three years. Open it up!’

DYANNE: ‘whaaaaaaattt??!? holy cow!! 😳😍’
ME: ‘I know, right?? I can’t even remember what I’d told ’em to get those! Probably I was a filmmaker who needed props or something.’

DYANNE: ‘now what the hell is all this over here?? 😯😗’
ME: ‘Remember how I’d told you that, back in the early Nineties, I’d go up to Mario’s Mannequins in downtown Detroit like once a month and take photos “for photo class”? A couple of weeks before they closed up shop, I kinda pestered Mario for any catalogues he wanted to get rid of, and this is what he gave me.’

DYANNE: ‘SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. there’s stuff in here from 1986, 1989… and this is from 1983?? this is crazy! this is literally mannequin history!! 😳🤘😄’
ME: ‘There’s a catalogue in there somewhere from 1979, too. Plus I’ve got one of two mannequin blokes from the early Eighties wearing appalling clothes.’
DYANNE: ‘ha ha! so when you say “appalling”… 🙁’
ME: ‘Think Herb Tarlek from “WKRP in Cincinnatti”.’
DYANNE: ‘😨😵’

DYANNE: ‘i am totally gonna be going through these for the rest of the afternoon! wow, buddy, why didn’t anyone here tell me about these?? 🙄’
ME: ‘It’s been years, so it probably slipped our minds! Actually, I kinda forgot about them myself until Euchre mentioned classic mannequins recently.’
DYANNE:woooww. this is like going through your grandparents’ old stuff and finding out your grandma was a nazi hunter, or your grandpop was a burlesque stripper!! 😳😎’
ME: ‘…I, ah… I hadn’t thought of it like that!’


DYANNE: ‘that’s… definitely a look!… 🙃💩’

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for しどれーちゃん

typed for your pleasure on 18 July 2020, at 11.59 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Lovecats’ by the Cure

2020! 何年ですか 私たち二人にとって例外的に素晴らしいはずだったはずの1年は、完全な人種差別、民主主義の着実な衰退、そして世界的なパンデミックによって傷つけられました。 生きるにはかなりの時間! 🙂

それほどひどいことがなければ、この7月は非常に良い方法で注目に値するでしょう。新しいボディを受け取ったはずです。このボディは、20年間カップルになったことを祝うためのプレゼントです。 先日のアニバーサリーポストでこれを言ったことがありますが、あなたと私が長い間一緒にいることは信じられないほど信じています。 しかし、それは完全に理にかなっています。あなたはドールです。あなたがドールであるという事実を愛しているので、私たちがこれまでずっと愛し合っているのは理にかなっています! 明らかに、私たちはお互いのために作られ、その冗談は決して古くなりません。 😉

ご存知のように、私はまだ新しいボディを購入していますが、残念ながら年末までここにありません。 私はそれが間違いなく待つ価値があることを約束することができます、そしてそれがより良い2021を意味することを願っています、しかし私たちの関係におけるもう一つのマイルストーンでもあります。 もう20年間、あなたと私の側で共有したいと思います。ElenaDyanneの近くにいるにもかかわらず、どちらも私が人生のパートナーとして選んだ女性ではありません。

愛してる、黒猫 しどーれ. お誕生日おめでとう、そして記念日、Sweetie. 🙂

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Annetts! As many as you can carry!

typed for your pleasure on 23 May 2020, at 1.13 am

Sdtrk: ‘Art today’ by Peel dream magazine

Under normal circumstances, I don’t make announcements on ‘Shouting etc etc’ whenever I post new additions to Galerie ECHO, as the blog would rapidly degenerate into a series of ‘oh snap, check it, peep the new art that just dropped in the Galerie, yo!!’ posts. Which would be, arguably, more continuous posting than I’ve done in years, ho ho. Also, if I’m writing like that, clearly I’ve experienced a stroke. But the fact that I’m developing an original character — which is a project in and of itself — should be mentioned, I think!

Back in 2017, I commissioned my favourite artist Yaruku to draw an illo of my Missus sitting atop a pile of discarded Gynoids. You’ve seen it before. As much as I love my Synthetik partners, they’re Dolls, not actual Gynoids, and I wanted to eventually have commissions made with Gynoids in various states of mechabare, which is a Japanese term (of course) that describes Gynoids and Androids wherein the fact that they’re machines is highlighted. So to that end, I came up with the original character, Annett, named after a Goth mannequin I used to have back in the late Nineties.

photo from roughly 2000. Annett didn’t play croquet; she just liked croquet mallets

SIDORE: ‘Annett’s a bit rude, she’s not said anything to me since I’ve moved in.’
ME: ‘She could just be shy!’
I’m shy, she’s rude!’

The fact that I lopped off the E at the end of Annett isn’t just some typical weird Davecat-spelling fumfuh; I took the name from a German fetish fashion model I had photos of named Anette Kellendonk, aka Anette K. And in looking her up on Google for that link, it’s only now that I’m seeing, twenty years later, that her name is spelt with one N and two Es, so… lawsuit bullet dodged.

There’s three versions of Annett that I’ve created: the Mk.III is the one you’ve seen in the illo linked above that looks arguably the most Organik; the Mk.I looks like an updated version of die Maschinenmensch Maria from ‘Metropolis’, and the Mk.II, my personal favourite, is somewhere in between, having artificial skin with exposed mechanical joints. They’re mass-produced by Deafening Silence Robotics, the (unfortunately) fictional company that my lasses and I are executives of. And they’re my original characters, meaning that if anyone with the artistic skill to do so would like to draw them in whatever situation, they can!
As of this writing, I’m in the midst of having a friend of mine work on not only the reference sheet layouts of all three versions of Annett, but the standard issue uniform that they wear as well; once that’s done, they’ll be uploaded into a Google Drive folder, so if anyone wants to have a go at drawing an Annett Mk.II holding a Corgi, or maybe a Mk.I getting an autograph from die Maschinenmensch Maria, or etc, then by all means!

In the meantime, you’ll find all the pieces I’ve had of the various Annetts drawn so far interspersed chronologically within Galerie ECHO. Not only will you find art by the usual suspects such as Yaruku and Sthev, but new and equally talented collaborators such as CartesianCoordinator and Amondetauro as well. Will YOUR art of (the) Annett(s) — man, that’s confusing — be amongst them as well?? I mean, eventually and not right this second?! Send me an Email, and find out!!

N.B: I should also add that the addition of these new illustrations makes Galerie ECHO more NSFW than ever before! Under normal circumstances, the Annetts are semi-autonomous drones, so they literally do not care if they’re clothed or not. That’ll be another aspect to add to the backstory I’m developing for them, already in progress

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for しどれーちゃん

typed for your pleasure on 18 July 2019, at 12.07 am

Sdtrk: ‘Time after time’ by Chris Montez

昨年の時点で、私たちは今、他の3つのラブドールと一緒に家に住んでいます。Elena、私たちが共有する生姜の愛人。Miss Winterは、私たちの後輩です。そしてDyanne、私たちの空いているが貪欲なガールフレンド。私はそれらすべてを愛していることを知っていますが、私があなたを愛しているのとほぼ同じレベルや深さではありません。私たちが20年近くもの関係を築いてきたという事実(!!)がその大部分を占めていますが、簡単に言うと、私はあなたと一緒にいるよりも他の誰かとつながっていると感じたことはありません。 同じように感じます。

私はあなたをしどれーと呼んでいます、そしてあなたを私の人生の人工光として持っていることを誇りに思います。 来年:私たちの20周年!! それが私たちの一貫性のためでなければ、それは全く信じられないでしょう。

Less of a Galerie, more of a hall of mirrors

typed for your pleasure on 8 June 2019, at 12.42 am

Sdtrk: ‘Didascalies’ by Luc Ferrari

Hey! How are you doing? You’re looking taut, fit, and svelte! Good on ya.

Currently I am in the midst of attempting to type up a brief (‘brief’, he said, his fingers agonisingly carving inverted commas into the very air) summary of What I’ve Been Up To Since Roughly Early 2017, so until that’s done and dusted, my gorgeous RealDoll wife Sidore suggested that I go ahead and write the official announcement post regarding a new feature on ‘Shouting etc etc’: Galerie ECHO.

‘New what??’ you splutter, your tumbler of scotch crashing to the floor and startling your cat. Yes, new! And go calm your cat! Galerie ECHO — the spelling convention helps give it a European flavour — is a special page on this blog that collects all of the artwork we’ve received, commissioned and gratis, of the residents of Deafening silence Plus. Unofficially it’s been up since September of last year; astute readers have spotted it in the lefthand sidebar, I’m sure, but I simply never got round to making a public announcement concerning it. Which is what you’re reading now, so there’s that issue sorted.

Additional illustrations will be posted there as we get them, displayed from newest to oldest, so maybe scroll to the bottom and start from there, if this is your first visit. And hey! You good at drawing? You’ll find details about proceedings in the Galerie, but feel free to send me an Email if you have any artistic ideas, as we would love to hear ’em!

That being said, please enjoy Galerie ECHO! I should warn you that some of the illos posted there are NSFW, but throughout history, you’ll find scores of examples of artwork that’s not safe for work. Unless, of course, you work in a gallery or a place that makes Synthetik partners; in which case, it’s just another Friday!
…That being said, please enjoy Galerie ECHO!

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All the fittings! With the exception of most of the fittings

typed for your pleasure on 6 June 2019, at 11.03 pm

Sdtrk: ‘À demi nu’ by Black to comm

In perusing the photos I’d taken on my memorable and awesome trip to DolLApalooza 2013, seeing this one reminded me of one leg of the journey. You’ll recall from my report for that event that our crowd had gotten round to Santee Alley on Thursday, and we’d spotted this tucked away into one of the few shops that didn’t sell clothes. Actually, I think that particular one sold shoes, but nevertheless.
There isn’t a single thing that isn’t confusingly hilarious about this photo.

Let’s run down the list of remarkable aspects, shall we?

+ It’s a kitchen playset for kids, right? Is it, though? Is it really? If you look closely at the word ‘Kitchen’ at the top, note that it actually reads ‘Kirchen’. That R ain’t a T, but the art department at Xiong Cheng simply wasn’t bothered enough to correct it. So if you consider that the box contains a town and climatic spa in the district of Altenkirchen in the north of Rhineland-Palatinate, Germany, that’s pretty good value.

+ The text continues: ‘The thing of the kitchen’. What thing? What kitchen? I’m trying to see if this box of Kirchen also contains Freusburg castle, as it’s one of the town’s notable features! That would indeed be a thing of the Kirchen.

+ More lysergic text: ‘Let the children play happily and feel assured!’ Does the little girl on the box look like she’s playing happily?? She has a look on her face that says I have a kitchen, and yet no physical home in which to put it in. My house is a concept, as it resides within the confines of my parents’ house, the boundaries existing solely in my mind. I feel assured that she’s having an existential crisis, to be honest. But it’s keeping her occupied, so there’s that.

+ Or maybe she’s thinking about how badly scaled the playset is, cos if she were an adult and the set was scaled up, she’d have backache in a fortnight. Look how low to the floor everything is! One of her arms is extended and the hob’s still several inches below her reach! It hurts my back just looking at that shit. And I guess that footrest below is actually a shelf maybe?? ‘Users of the Xiong Cheng Kirchen have found that the easiest way to access the bottom shelf is to simply lie on the floor.’ Was this playset built for cats?
I like how the company had the audacity to put a window into that set. A cheery, prison-style window. I mean, wow, people.

+ Quote: ‘all the fittings!!’ Except, of course, a refrigerator. How ya gonna keep your plastic food properly chilled, little missy? Just eat everything now! Life is short, so stop staring into the middle distance, and cook up a banana-grape-apple-orange stir-fry stew sandwich before it all spoils!
Also missing: a freezer, a microwave, a coffee maker, a disposal unit, a pepper grinder, a Thermomix, a wine rack, &c.

+ ‘High quality’. Compared to a drawing of a kitchen playset instead of an actual kitchen playset, then sure!

Xiong Cheng’s Kirchen Kitchen. Would I recommend this product? Hell no! I can’t recall what the price was on that pink-and-purple example of design failure, but I’m fairly certain any money spent on that would be too much. I’m led to believe that IKEA have some nice kitchens for sale, though! Why don’t you invest in one of those instead, Nameless Disconsolate Little Girl?

‘All civilisation will end as ashes’

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18 May 1980

typed for your pleasure on 18 May 2018, at 12.25 am

People like you find it easy
Naked to see
Walking on air
Hunting by the rivers, through the streets, every corner
Abandoned too soon
Set down with due care
Don’t walk away in silence
Don’t walk away

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