Actually, it sounds like a pretty cushy assignment

typed for your pleasure on 30 August 2004, at 9.50 pm

En route home thru Royal oak this afternoon, I pulled up to a red light at the corner ov Main, and.. some other smegging street, and I’d noticed that, to my right, was a police officer, standing behind a large neon yellow construction-style sign that read ‘SAFETY BELT ENFORCEMENT ZONE’. Eh?? It’s true; he was just standing on the corner, about fifteen to twenty feet away from his cruiser, which was idling with the passenger door open and its hazard lights blinking, and he was.. enforcing safety belts, I suppose. I dunno. I daresay he wasn’t doing a very good job ov it, as I was stopped behind like four other cars, and he didn’t even seem to be peering into any vehicles to make sure that people had their seatbelts on. Perhaps there was a hidden camera somewhere; again, I don’t know.
Great; this is our tax dollars at work, I thought. Some cop standing on a street corner, ‘enforcing’ safety belt usage. Fecking brilliant. What is this apropos ov, exactly? I mean, if he had happened to see someone not wearing their seatbelt, what was he gonna do, yell an ineffectual ‘hey you, stop’, and leap onto the perp’s hood like T.J Hooker? Hanging on for dear life with one hand, and using the other to radio for backup ‘WE’VE GOT A SB-854 ON THE RUN SET UP THE TYRE SPIKES’? I mean, what??

Now, I understand that one ov the purposes ov police is to protect people from their own stupidity, but as far as I see it, if you don’t have the presence ov mind or simply the common goddamn sense to strap yourself into moving machinery, then quite frankly, if you get into a wreck and go rocketing thru your windscreen, you deserve what you get, as you’re the exact sort ov person that needs to be removed from the gene pool, anyway. Ultimately, if you don’t wear your seatbelt, it only harms you. Unless, ov course, you launch out ov your car, and your stupid lacerated body strikes another vehicle; well then, yeah, that’s a bit ov a problem.
But honestly, I’d have to say that it’s nice to see that police are spending their time & manpower doing something really important. Good show, sirs, and Well done

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

Operation: Mapleleaf (2008 edition) on October 22nd, 2008

Compressed wood pulp? You must be joking on March 6th, 2010

Leave a charming reply