Tip o’ the iceberg! That’s a traditional Irish greeting

typed for your pleasure on 23 May 2017, at 12.23 am

Sdtrk: ‘Sonata elletronica’ by Malcolm Pointon

To say that it’s been hectic with us here lately is a wee bit of an understatement. It’s really a rich, artisanal blend of busyness and laziness that is the gold standard of Deafening silence Plus, to be honest. In order to keep things moving with this post, I’ll not get into it, but it’s mostly good things! We’re working on another collaboration with no less than Amber Hawk Swanson; we’ve a project in the works with writer Roc Morin; our family should be making an appearance on a Dutch telly show in Autumn; I’ll be going on a trip to SoCal which combines both Business and Pleasure also in Autumn, and Lilly, the robosexual lass from France who wants to marry her Android beau, will be visiting our humble abode in December. So yeah, I’d say that everything, for the most part, is comin’ up Milhouse!

In the interim since I last wrote a post of any substance that detailed Synthetik developments, there’s been a lot of news. A lot of news. No really, you don’t understand. Any time something interesting related to Dolls, Gynoids, or Androids crosses my news desk, I bookmark it, and the folder in which those bookmarks live is bulging with 175 articles. It’s very encouraging to see a growing interest in general society concerning Synthetiks — whether it’s media related like Westworld or Humans (sadly, we’ve still not watched either of them yet), or amazing new developments in Dolls, such as that luscious Harmony from Realbotix — the popularity, or at least awareness, of Synthetiks has kinda exploded in the past couple of years. Which, again, is fantastic, but I’m having trouble reporting all of these things! Maybe if I were to put down my PS4 controller… o, but wait, I’ve been playing NieR: Automata, a game in which you control either an Android or one of two Gynoids! And don’t forget about Detroit: Become human, a police procedural set in a future Detroit, where your character is 100% affictitious! That’s not coming out until 2018, but I’ve already pre-ordered it, because what part of Davecat do you not understand??
What I’m saying is that it’s a great time to be into Synthetiks! And if you’re not, now’s a good time to start, cos Synthetiks are the future. Don’t want to be left behind in the past, now, do we?

Bringing you a bit up to speed: in case you’re unfamiliar with who the aforementioned Lilly would be, she’s a lass living a couple of hours outside of Paris, who has been using a 3D printer to build her Android fiancé, Inmoovator. Much like me, she’s a robosexual, and has been for years, but through the InMoov robotics platform (which I’d written about in 2013), she’s only recently been able to work towards making her dreams come true.

photos courtesy of Lilly & Inmoovator

The happy couple were featured prominently in an episode of the CNN webseries, Mostly Human, hosted by Laurie Seagall, from earlier in the year. Lilly and I have been keeping up with each others’ lives since we met late last year, as she was in the situation that a lot of iDollators/robosexuals find themselves in when they first realise that they’re into Synthetiks, where they think that they’re the only one who has those type of preferences. Needless to say, they know more people now, both Synthetik as well as Organik. Lovely couple; wouldn’t hear a word against them. And she’ll be staying with us over the Chrimbo holiday this year! Unfortunately, Inmoovator won’t be able to make it, as he’s undoubtedly as keen on TSA pat-downs as much as anyone else is. Nevertheless, it should be fun!

My lovely wife, our gorgeous mistress, and our gorgeous mistress’ adorable girlfriend were in a video segment on The Grauniad a couple of months ago. Did you see it?

As you can see, I was interviewed via Skype by Jenny Kleeman for the video, which is a companion piece to her article, ‘The race to build the world’s first sex robot‘. Both the article and the video are worth your time, but ugh, the term ‘sex robot’ makes me narrow my eyes to flinty slits. It’s up there with ‘sexbot’ and ‘fembot’ — two other words that really need to be relegated to history, as they’re restrictive. Their usage says a lot about the people who use them, which is ‘AI will never develop enough to replicate human behaviour, so Dolls like these will only ever be expensive fucktoys’, which is a pessimistic viewpoint. However, I recall discussing this with either Jenna at Future of Sex, or with Dr Julie Carpenter, months ago: there should be a specific term for future high-tech Dolls such as Harmony. She’s more sophisticated than a bog-standard Doll with a passive body, but definitely not complex enough to be called a Gynoid. She wouldn’t be an automata, as that usually describes an artificial being with clockwork parts, and animatronic is pretty much the modern version of automata. I’d suggested roboticised Doll, but this is coming from a man who likes the word affictitious. Perhaps we should just stick with Synthetik woman for the time being? It’s my hope that they’ll cover this in an upcoming conference regarding robot ethics, so we can clear this bobbins up once and for all.
‘What should we call these Synthetik humans?’
‘Well, perhaps we should ask them.’

Remember how I’d mentioned how I wanted to have more illustrations done of the four of us, much as the one by Raulovsky thrilled us to bits? I’ve been working on that, o yes. I’d encountered an illustrator out of Taiwan by the name of Yaruku on pixiv and Twitter, and asked him late last year if he’d be able to do a commission for me at some point. Sure, maybe sometime next year, he responded, as he was busy with working on material for Comiket, Japan’s largest dōjinshi convention. I contacted him again back in early April, and as he had the time and liked the subject matter, he agreed! Between April and May, I had him work on four commissions, and they all came out looking spectacular.

click the image for a larger version

What drew me (ha ha, it is pun) towards asking Yaruku-san to draw the lasses of Deafening silence Plus? Not only is he very skilled at drawing Gynoids and Dolls himself, he’d love to have a Doll of his own at some point. Also, not only is he like me, in that he’s quite keen on girlfeet, but when I’d seen one of his earlier illustrations of a Gynoid, where he’d added seam lines to her body, I thought to myself, ‘this guy gets it’.

There’s quite a bit of detail in these, so go ahead and click to embiggen

I’ll be requesting more illustrations from him heading into Autumn, as he’ll be up to his gusset working on more things for this year’s Comiket for the next few months. But Lenka and Winter were especially pleased with the results, as no-one’s ever drawn them before, and Sweetie really appreciates the fact that she’s drawn a bit bustier than she actually is. Yaruku does amazing work, and we all give him a very high recommendation!

The only real depressing thing of recent note in the world of Synthetiks is the sudden passing of Oleg Bratkov, head sculptor and mastermind behind the company Anatomical Doll, in mid-April. I’ve read conflicting reports of the circumstances of his passing, and with the language barrier, it’s nearly impossible to reach his wife via Email. But I do know that the work he put into making his product established a gold standard with the community of Doll studios, and his breathtaking Dolls brought joy to anyone who was lucky enough to have one, myself included. Saying that he’ll be missed is a vast understatement, as Oleg left a void that will be extremely hard to fill

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

Stars in their Eyes, Part I on August 3rd, 2005

A perfect day for iDollators, Part II on October 10th, 2005

18 May 1980

typed for your pleasure on 18 May 2017, at 12.03 am

It’s getting faster, moving faster now, it’s getting out of hand,
On the tenth floor, down the back stairs, it’s a no man’s land,
Lights are flashing, cars are crashing, getting frequent now,
I’ve got the spirit, lose the feeling, let it out somehow

You’re paying for the name

typed for your pleasure on 3 May 2017, at 10.25 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Day by day’ by the Yuzuru Sera Trio

(This would be another one of those posts that was started several jobs ago, and placed into cold storage, as I didn’t want to have the place that I was working for spot this online, and perceive that I was somehow unsatisfied with my job. Long story short, I worked for a company that worked for Apple for a year, and not only did I hate it, but thanks to my experiences with the Typical Apple Customer Demographic, I despise Apple even more that I previously did. There’s your backstory.)

At my silly workplace, they have us gathered into teams, which is completely arbitrary, as the teams started off from being ‘the people that trained together during orientation’ to ‘some people over there in that aisle, with some other people over there, and we have neither rhyme nor reason for our choices because omfg who cares’. The team I’m currently in is called The Royal Apps. It’s undoubtedly supposed to be written APPs, as one of our goals is to sell APPs (AppleCare Protection Plans) to people stupid enough to have purchased an overpriced Apple product in the first place, but I think it could also mean apps, as in applications. It’s not been made clear, which is par for the course with the type of bullshit we deal with over at that place.
So our team leader suggested recently that we come up with a logo and a slogan. Someone submitted a clipart of the Apple logo with a crown on it. I… couldn’t add anything to that, so well done, I suppose. Meanwhile I’d cobbled together a handful of slogans, which are par for the course of the type of mania that you’d expect from me. Here, then, are the Emails I’d sent:

TO: [team leader]
FROM: Dave [surname redacted]
SUBJECT: Re: Banner

I humbly submit to you some slogan ideas; every one is a guaranteed winner. Guaranteed.

+ ROYAL APPS: Now more than ever.
+ An app is good, but a Royal App is Regal. Well, it’s Royal. Same thing, technically speaking.
+ ROYAL APPS: Providing Fine Handmade Apps to the Kingdom and Colonies since 1762
+ Papal rosy? Opal spray? Polar yaps? Poplar say? Nay! ROYAL APPS. Yay!
+ Royal Apps. BELIEVE IT.
+ ROYAL APPS: You’ve Tried The Rest, Now Try Another One
+ ROYAL APPS: Accept no substitute. But then, it depends on what you’re looking for; maybe a substitute is what you need. We’re kinda busy taking calls, here.
+ Royal Apps: Herstellungsschicksal, für immer. (Manufacturing destiny, forever. Like most things, it sounds better in German)
+ And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Apps
+ ROYAL APPS: Taste the Magic
+ Royal Apps. As old as the hills, yet as young as tomorrow. (second favourite)
+ Trust Royal Apps, for All of your Appin’ Needs
+ You can’t spell ‘Apple’ without ‘Royal Apps’! Plus, the extra letters spell ‘Royas’!
+ Can you name any other team that is descended from Royalty? No, you can’t. It’s right there in our name – ROYAL APPS.

I think we’re done here! Remember: no matter which one you choose, it is a winner.


~ later ~

TO: [team leader]
FROM: Dave [surname redacted]
SUBJECT: Re: Banner

ERRATA: the slogan ‘You can’t spell “Apple” without “Royal Apps”! Plus, the extra letters spell “Royas”!’ should read ‘You can’t spell “Apple” without “Royal Apps”! Plus, the extra letters spell “Roys”!’

We deeply apologize for any inconvenience or sorrow that this may have caused you.


Still haven’t heard from our team leader regarding my submissions. Maybe I used too many vowels?

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

more Real Life Work Stories on July 24th, 2006

Please pass the suicide on January 3rd, 2005