Honestly, sometimes they write themselves

typed for your pleasure on 23 September 2012, at 6.06 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Happy house’ by Siouxsie and the Banshees

My current job, much like my last job, is another call centre, quelle surprise. It’s a helpdesky-type job, and in order to speak to our staffers, clients have to go through an automated phone system, which apparently a lot of people aren’t keen on. As a result, I speak to all manner of humans over the course of a workweek. Which of course is the perfect job for someone who is people-averse such as myself, naturally! But it’s not all bad; as an example; this exchange occurred at the end of one call a number of days ago…

RUSTIC: Well, thanks a lot for helping me! Now just make sure when you transfer me, it’s to a person. I’m sick of those automated systems.
ME: Ha ha! Well, machines are good. Machines are our future. (deadpan)
RUSTIC (laughing, speaking somewhat under his breath): …is your wife a machine?
ME: Ha ha ha! Ha ha! Haaahh yesss.

Best thing that happened to me all day

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7 have spoken to “Honestly, sometimes they write themselves”

  1. jill writes:

    that is basically the greatest conversation ever. Also, my 2 year old nephew calls himself NathanCat and everyone else gets TheirNameCat except Doug, who is Uncle Cat Poop Face.

  2. PBShelley writes:

    Hahaha! You might have answered “well, no she isn’t… YET!” -and see how quickly he’d have accepted a transfer to one!

    Ah, hindsight… why so 20-20???

    Seriously, I hate those damn auto-systems and simply don’t call anywhere where I have to navigate the gantlet. When I can help it 😛

    PBS, Lily & the Gang

  3. bbbjjjttt writes:

    *sprays Earl Grey all over the screen*

    PRICELESS!!! I’d have been tempted to say “Well, no. She’s a silicone lass, but I will take a Gynoid as my second wife as soon as one becomes available! ALLAH AKBAR!”

  4. Davecat writes:

    Jill —
    I’ve inspired your nephew to name himself and other people (kinda) after me?? That’s pretty fantastic! Tell him Uncle Davecat says Hi, and good job on Uncle Doug’s new name 🙂

    PBS and miscreants —
    Damnit, hindsight! Your response would’ve been sterling. But I’ll know next time!
    And just keep jabbing that 0 button, like most everyone else does. If that doesn’t work, weep like a soiled infant; that seems to work, too.

    B-san —
    Gotta admit — your response is better. 🙂
    Also, I can’t be expected to pay for your monitor. *hands you a cloth nappy*

  5. Nanjo writes:

    DAMN. That’s gotta be satisfying. I can usually handle the automatic menus pretty well–unless I have to speak my selection to them. They never can seem to hear me correctly. Then again, neither can organic people, sometimes…

  6. Isabel writes:

    Oh God that is so hysterical. You should have said, “Not yet. But we’re both waiting for the technology to become available and affordable that will enable her to walk around.” Davecat, you made my day.

  7. Davecat writes:

    Nanjo —
    Admittedly, a lot of automated systems are a bit rubbish. Plus, people call in on phones that are equally rubbish, so the rubbish pile just keeps growing, really.
    If I ran things, I’d get developers to work on better AI, so that automated voice systems would be near-indistinguishable from Organik people. Also, I’d have them (the ubiquitous ‘them’) work on neural implants to better stimulate a person’s auditory canal. See, I’m not anti-Organik like meatbags err, people think I am!

    Isabel —
    Glad I could bring a smile to your face, there. 🙂
    I like your answer better! But I’m sure the rustic’s response would’ve been the sound of crickets. I would’ve laughed, though, and that’s the important thing. *nods*

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