I’ll have the Steakhouse Mescaline dip, please

typed for your pleasure on 20 February 2006, at 11.26 pm

Sdtrk: some bloke yelling


The Quiznos round here are never as interesting as this. Is that a Good or Bad thing?

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

hahaha christ on April 29th, 2005

I swear, this actually happened! on June 17th, 2005

5 have spoken to “I’ll have the Steakhouse Mescaline dip, please”

  1. Zip Gun writes:

    Jeeesus fuckin’ Christ, that dude is whacked out. I guess as long as he wasn’t actually touching my food, it would have been cool. Otherwise…no.

  2. Davecat writes:

    At the very least, you can’t say he’s not dedicated to his work. He’s just brimful of PCP.

    I’m sure half those people walked away with interesting sandwich combinations:
    ‘I ordered a Black Angus, but all I see in here is a Whopper and some index cards.’
    ‘Well, my honey bourbon chicken seems to lack any chicken — it’s five pieces of bread and a sponge soaked in rum.’

  3. PBShelley writes:


    I’m sure he is perfectly normal… *in The Land of Crazy People!* Holy shit!

    I love how the dude next to him is just packaging his sandwiches, la-de-dah… “Nope, nothing strange here! Just move along people! Will you have horseradish with that?”

    Ya know, I have a sinking feeling that this guy is the manager? Yikes!

    PBS & Lily

  4. Jeff "Wolfgang" Lilly writes:

    There is a perfectly rational explanation for this.
    As you recall, Quiznos did a very catchy ad campaign featuring rathergood.com’s Sponge Monkeys.
    What most people don’t realize is that the experiments did not stop there.
    Bartholemew Abercrombie-Quizno III, heir to the Quizno fortune, has been dabbling in GOd’s realm for some time now, as has been reported in various journals of normally dubious accuracy. Among his fiendish experiments has been to distill Sponge Monkey essence. Well, after months of trial and error, he managed to squeeze two Sponge Monkeys in a press (hard to do, seeing as how they randomly teleport everywhere as they sing), recovering two drams of pure essence. In a freak accident at the Quiznos Pepper Processing Facility, this essence was dumped into the jalepeno vat. This manager is merely the first in what will surely bne a long series of victims, a new sort of creature upon this earth… a SpongeMonkeyMan. Oh, why did they play in God’s domain? WHY?????
    Oh, and if you go to Quizno’s, avoid the pepper bar.

  5. Davecat writes:

    WG –
    So it’s rather like The Island of Dr QuizNo, right? Ah heh heh. 😐
    You will know him by his frantic, repeated call of ‘HONEY BOURBON CHICKEN HONEY BOURBON CHICKEN’.

    PBS & Lily –
    You guys have Quizno’s out your way, right? Be very careful when entering one, as some SpongeMonkeyMan might be making sandwiches. Mind what WG said, and avoid the pepper bar, and you should be sound as a pound. 🙂

Leave a charming reply