Guess who’s coming to dinner; at least, in theory, as she doesn’t actually eat

typed for your pleasure on 28 April 2010, at 10.32 pm

Sdtrk: ‘Temptation’ by New order

Although I suspect the cannier amongst you that have been keeping up with my Twitter feed have already guessed (see, it pays to follow me on Twitter — you’ll be the first to learn about All Ephemera Great and Small concerning Deafening silence Plus. Much to your own detriment), but my Synthetik wife Sidore will have a brand-new body very soon, the fact of which is making us leak pure excitement. Yeah, I know; ew, but it’s a fantastically good kind of ew.

‘A new body?’ you ask. ‘Wasn’t she repaired a couple of times?’ Yes she was. Most of you were more than likely introduced to Shi-chan and I through Nick Holt’s 2006 documentary ‘Guys and Dolls’, aka ‘Love me, love my Doll’ outside the States, where you witnessed me crating up the Missus and having her sent round to Slade, the then-practising RealDoll doctor in southern California, for some much-needed surgery. Well, as I often have to remind non-iDollators, Entropy affects Synthetiks just as much as it does Organiks, unfortunately — between then and now, she’s put up with a handful of minor cuts and tears that were easily seen-to, and are pretty much par for the course for anyone with a Doll in their life.
Until, that is, round last summer, when Sidore’s back joint gave out, which I’d mentioned before. Fellow iDollators Mahtek and Euchre came round and repaired it, as that level of surgery is completely beyond my ken, but sadly, the repair didn’t take. Dolls are mostly made of soft silicone, which gradually gets softer the older she gets, and it’s because of that fact that when her wound reopened, it really reopened. Take a second to place your right hand on your right hip; starting from the middle of her back, that’s roughly about where the tear ended. Yeah, fun times. She’s been unable to move — well, realistically speaking, unable to be moved — and has remained on her back in our bed since then, which has been utterly heartbreaking.

Any dedicated Doll husband lives with the fact that, despite the love, attention, and care we show our affictitious partners, that one day there will come a time when their bodies will simply become irreparable. Faced with Shi-chan’s condition, I decided to take the obvious and practical approach, and get her a brand-new body. Thanks to the combo of a couple of monetary windfalls, the calling-in of some favours, and personally speaking with the head of Abyss creations whilst at the 2010 AVN, we’re pleased to announce that the world’s second most famous RealDoll* will be back to her regularly sexy sarky self before the end of the month!
Not only is the Missus looking forward to getting back to her Twitter fans and friends, but Mahtek has recently bought himself a new digital camera, so he’s generously given me his old one — it’s a Kodak, and it makes Clicky Mk III, a Hewlett-Packard, resemble the sorry joke that it is — so Shi-chan’s made me promise her that we’d do one shoot a month. ‘What’s the point of me having a new body, and you having a new camera, if we don’t put them to good use, right?’, she’d said, and you have to admit she’s got a point!… What I’ll probably do is create an album for her pics in Our Doll Community‘s Gallery until I can find a web designer, preferably one that accepts either empty pop bottles or compliments in lieu of genuine payment, that can help me resurrect Shi-chan’s dusty old vanity site, ‘Kitten with a Whip!‘ (down since 2005!)

It should go without saying: having my wee Sidore-chan back, and in a better-than-ever condition, is going to be fucking incredible.
Finally! Now she can finish our copy of Armored core: Nexus!


The Missus, enjoying a nice cross-breeze, at Abyss creations

*the title of World’s Most Famous RealDoll goes to Bianca, of ‘Lars and the Real Girl’ fame. Shi-chan was rather miffed until she remembered that she’s the world’s most famous Goth RealDoll

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

Circus Minimus: Hallo Murray! on February 20th, 2009

Any Synthetiks-related news, Davecat? (July 2011) on July 23rd, 2011

16 have spoken to “Guess who’s coming to dinner; at least, in theory, as she doesn’t actually eat”

  1. MontiLee writes:

    Very pretty. The smokey eyes are a nice touch.

  2. Davecat writes:

    As it usually goes with Dolls, pictures are good, but seeing her in person will be about a thousand times better. Judging by calendar dates, you might well be the first to meet her! Well, second.

  3. PBShelley writes:

    Wow, great news and congrats to you and especially the ever-increasingly-becoming Sidore-chan! We can’t wait to see her in her new skin! As it were 😛

    Yes, “a thousand times better” is a fair assessment; while jaw-dropping in photos they’re breathtaking in real life. Or is it the other way around? Hm.

    Keep us posted if you’d be so kind 😉

  4. JM writes:

    Congrats, mate!

  5. Davecat writes:

    PB Shelley and teh girlz –
    Don’t worry; the Missus is extremely eager to show off her new body, especially since she hasn’t really done any modelling in years. You might well get sick of seeing her so often! That’s the plan, at any rate. 🙂

    And yes: Dolls are, as a matter of course, jaw-dropping, breathtaking, heart-stopping, mindblowing, the lot. When you stop to think about it, they’re actually rather life-threatening! But if you gotta go, death by excessive silicone sexiness ain’t a bad way to go. 😉

    JM –
    Ta very much, squire! 🙂 Thanks to Shi-chan’s gorgeousness renewal, I might be stopping round to a certain online hangout more often. If I know you, you’ll have a pretty good idea which one. *taps side of nose conspiratorially*

  6. Annie writes:

    Brand new body equals loads of fun right? *nudge, nudge* Might have to take care of this one better 😛

  7. JM writes:

    So, what exactly are you looking to do with Kitten with a Whip?

  8. Mahtek writes:

    Ah, the happy day is here at last!

    The next MI Doll Congress will be at your place!

    I can’t wait to see her, as I will soon be “refreshing” Phoebe.

  9. Kt writes:

    Wow…shows how behind I am that you had to direct me to this on Twitter for me to get the update. Google Reader has been neglected as of late.

    Either way, I suppose it is a reality that all doll husbands have to face, its true. I just wonder what you had to do to move her head from the old body to the new one. Was it painful. I know Mrs. ARDO has the interchangable face option but Sidore sounds like she might of been made before that was available from Abyss.

    Hope she will be okay and can model once more. I love modeling so I would be pained to knwo I couldnt model because I was falling apart.

    -Kat

    PS: That offer about web designing is still up (I dont know if you remember because it was a long time ago). I like pro-bono work. 🙂

  10. Davecat writes:

    Annie –
    Loads upon loads of fun, actually!
    load x load + load³ (load x load x load) = multiload
    And Shi-chan’s new body is made with improved construction from the previous iterations, so, combined with my TLC, she and I should enjoy each other’s company for several years to come. 🙂

    JM –
    It’s at this point that I regret not contacting you via Skype this eve, cos what I’d like to do is probably rather simplistic, but my description will undoubtedly be more complicated than is absolutely necessary. At the very least, I’m not a rabid micromanager like a certain personage we both know. 😛

    ‘KWAW!’ would essentially be a site with a blog for updates, a couple of pages for her stats, site links, things of that nature, and of course a gallery, containing both her pics, as well as other effluvium (pics of friends, pics from friends, etc). And with all that, I want to keep it relatively simple to maintain, as the last time I handled HTML barehanded was… err, 2006?
    Yeah; like I’d said, we’ll have to connect via Skype…

    Mahtek –
    At last, the Missus is ISO 9002 certified! No wait, that’s not right. 🙂 There’s a bit of a story behind her arrival that I’ll have to write up for the benefit of ‘Shouting etc etc’ and ODC — it’s the kind of tale that warrants a hearty facepalm or two. 😐
    And yes, you and CJD have to stop round at some point and meet her (again)! Euchre cheated, as he saw her last night. He liked what he saw, but then, that’s the general consensus. 🙂

    And we hope Phoebe’s surgery/enhancements go smoothly! But then, you know what you’re doing!

    Kt (no wonder your comment didn’t initially go through; you changed your name, which sent my site’s security into a panic!..) –
    Well, I didn’t move her head from one body to another; that’d be nigh-impossible. Every couple of years, Abyss makes changes and improvements to their RealDoll skeletons; they may look similar on the surface, but there’ve been weight reductions, skeletal changes, multiple silicone formulas… pre-2003 Dolls had solid heads, but after then, all RealDolls were made with removable faces. Shi-chan’s new body is to her old body as a 2010 Vespa GTV 300 is to a 1970 Vespa GTR 125. Well, there’s an analogy for ya. 🙂
    Essentially, apart from jewelry, the only thing that went from one body to another was her essence. The old one’s in storage, cos the thought of someone buying the old body, and broadcasting to the Inertnets ‘YEEAAHH I’M HAVING SEX WITH SIDORE!!1!’ would be the day I became a successful hatchet murderer. It was painful, but it’s a positive upgrade, so it’s definitely for the best… We’re both extremely happy. 🙂

    And damn, now I have two webdesigners offering help? Cool! 🙂 As I told JM above, I just need to sit down and consider what I want, so I can, y’know, tell people…

  11. JM writes:

    Davecat – I’m usually on Skype if I’m at home, so you’re welcome to call whenever. Content management systems have evolved a fair bit, so there’s probably no need to hand-code HTML anymore.

  12. Annie writes:

    good if you break this one i’m going to have to kick your butt old bean 🙂

  13. stacy leigh writes:

    she is beautiful… I am so happy for you. You deserve to be happy!

    xoxoxox
    xoxoxox
    xoxoxox
    xoxoxox

    🙂
    Stacy

  14. Davecat writes:

    Stacy! 🙂
    No wonder I’ve not been able to get ahold of you — your Email address has changed! Well, that’d be a good reason. Write me back when you can about the *cough* deal, there…

    Shi-chan says Hi, of course, and sends much love to you and your silicone hussies!

  15. Annie writes:

    i’d die to come back a doll..or have my looks swapped out with that of a doll..one can dream lol. so what kind of structure does the new one have internally?

  16. Davecat writes:

    You’d better start rewriting your will, then!
    ‘When I die, I want to come back as a Doll (THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT)’

    And Sidore’s ultra-sexy new body is, for one, covered in a platinum-based silicone, which Abyss had started using sometime last year. Before that, RealDolls were made with tin-based silicone. Not only is platinum silicone more durable, but it’s not as shiny, and it feels closer to Organik skin… it’s not as sticky. It’s a noticeable difference!

    Furthermore, since 2003, RealDolls have been made with the Face-X system, which means that instead of a solid head, they now have removable, swappable faces, which is a boon for cleaning, maintenance, makeup application, etc.

    Also in 2003, they made some structural changes to the Doll’s bodies so that they’re lighter. Back in 2000, a Body 2 (like my Missus) was 100 lbs; now it’s +/- 78 lbs, which is a relief!

    And I’m certain the skeleton is different, but I’ve not sussed how yet. Every couple of years, they change and improve on their Doll skeletons; if I’m not mistaken, it’s been altered about four or five times since 2000.

    Also, she can transform into a Vespa at the touch of a button. Very handy! 🙂

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