Do you remember Food? Part I

typed for your pleasure on 8 February 2012, at 1.36 am

Sdtrk: ‘Thumbquake and Earthscrew’ by A to Austr

If you’re just joining us, have a look at ‘Do you remember Food? Prelude‘, then come back here. I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as I have to. I know you’ll be back.

The first two selections I’m sampling would be Petite Potato Usu-shio by a company called Bourbon, and Jyu-C Cider, by Kabaya.

Jyu-C — or, if you like, Juicy, which is what they were probably aiming for — is one of those lipstick tubes of lozenge candy. They come in several different flavours, such as Grape, Orange, something called White Soda (they do love their opaque white beverages over there), and Cider, which is what I’d received.

They’re not bad, all told, although they have this weird mix of lemon taste combined with, ah, dairy? They kinda remind me of a more zippier-tasting Lactaid, to be honest. And much like Lactaid, they have an insidious chalky aftertaste. It’s not overpowering, but I say insidious because it takes almost two to three minutes after you’ve ground it up and swallowed it for it to appear. You’re too busy concentrating on the tartness in yo mouf, when you think to yourself, ‘have I perhaps eaten chalk by mistake?’ I don’t want to make it seem like I don’t like Jyu-C Cider, cos it isn’t completely appalling, but I think Jyu-C Grape would be more my speed.
I do like the robo-hippo mascot they have for the Cider flavour; unsurprisingly, his name would be Kaba-Robo (Hippo-Robo). He likes techno, as all robots naturally do.

As long as I’ve been a (mostly) unrepentant Japanophile, I’ve discovered that that nation seems to have a fascination with tiny snacks. My first encounter was years ago, with the 5/8 Chips from S&B. They were potato chips that came in boxes roughly the size of your average paperback, and were so named due to the fact they were five-eighths the size of a regular chip. True, it’s a very twee concept, but it doesn’t take long for you to realise you’re getting screwed with the size and proportions. I mean, good lord. Personally speaking, I can go through a 9oz bag of chips in two days, and I’m fairly certain there are larger tossers than myself that can annihilate one of those Super size bags in less time. So a sleeve of Petite Potato chips lasted me, what, an hour? It’s all in the pacing.

There’s a tray that’s in that sleeve, which protects the chips, but is a bit wasteful. Plus, it’s not as if the sleeve is a sturdy cast iron one or anything. I bet if I really wanted to, I could crush those chips, flimsy tray notwithstanding. Upon eating them, they reminded me immediately of Pringles, and the way they taste. Y’know, that ‘like chips, yet not chips’ flavour. They’re lightly salted, so to me, they were a little flat. Curiously enough, upon perusing the ingredients, one of them midway through the list caught my eye: scallop extract powder. Not that I’m averse to seafood, but… huh.

If you hit the website for Bourbon linked above, the first thing you’ll want to do is turn that godforsaken music off. Seriously, after a minute, it’ll drive you into a homicidal frenzy. But they have a variety of different micronised snacks, such as chocolate chip, mint chocolate chip, nori wafers, ebi (shrimp), some sort of biscuit, and some sort of cheese thing, amongst many others. The chips Jill sent me were regular flavour (‘tastes just like Regularity’), but the nori and ebi variants appeal to me. But I’d almost have to buy like five or six sleeves to satiate my salty hunger, and that’s only if they tasted appealing. More experiments need to take place!

Overall: Jyu-C isn’t bad, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to buy a tube — unless it was Grape, and if it were reasonably priced — and the Petite Potato chips are mildly filling, but in a very blink-and-they’re-gone aspect.

NEXT UP: words describing the food I done et

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

Do you remember Food? Part II on February 15th, 2012

Do you remember Food? Part III on February 22nd, 2012

8 have spoken to “Do you remember Food? Part I”

  1. Euchre writes:

    “and I’m fairly certain there are larger tossers than myself that can annihilate one of those Super size bags in less time.”

    *slowly raises hand and bows head in shame, then notices*

    scallop extract powder?

    *puts hand down and lifts head hoping that no-one noticed*

  2. bbbjjjttt writes:

    The Missus looks far tastier than the snacks! Scallop extract powder sounds….nasssssty. I’ve not eaten a chip in years, but once devoured an entire large bag of nacho cheese Doritos IN ONE SITTING. *cringe*

  3. M writes:

    I’m going to have to agree with bbbjjjttt here… the Missus looks tastier than the snacks. That said… I would be alllll over the chips. And then be ashamed of the carnage once I was done.

  4. Everhard writes:

    Oh, you mean crisps! What we call chips are what you guys, along with posh eateries over here in Britain, call French Fries. (Fish ‘n French Fries just doesn’t sound right.)

    What do you get when you cook lengthwise-sliced potatoes in a nuclear reactor? Fission chips.

  5. jill writes:

    the store had a bunch of those mini-snacks from Bourbon, but other than the chips, they were all sweets. I’ve bought a few sleeves of some of the cookies for Husband’s bento, but I find the cookies have a strange taste. Like something is off with the flour.

    I felt the same about those Jyu-C. I’m a big fan of the Ramune flavour (I assume this is the same as white soda) and that’s usually associated with that light blue colour, but you were right, it’s not that. It didn’t stop me from eating the whole tube in a couple of days.

  6. MyStrangeAddictionFan writes:

    This guy will be on an upcoming episode of My Strange Addiction. What do you think about him?

  7. Davecat writes:

    Chips are for savouring, not inhaling! Unless they’re specially-made Inhaling Chips™, which are ground up into a fine powder to eat and enjoy nasally.

    And I thought of you when I spotted the scallop extract mention! More than likely, should you ever win a trip to Japan, you’d have to stick purely with the ramen and soba bars, due to your seafood allergy. You might have to bring an oxygen mask. Or a HAZMAT suit!
    Just wanderin’ through Tokyo, speakin’ through a built-in helmet microphone, handlin’ things through multi-layer gloves, etc

    bbbjjjttt —
    To be honest, I wouldn’t have noticed the scallop extract powder had I not read the contents. Unlike Euchre, who would’ve noticed it upon eating the contents. But it’s not like I tasted any. They could’ve written ‘CONTENTS: axolotl’, and I probably wouldn’t have noticed.

    An entire bag of Doritos?? Well, you won’t be eating chips for a while after that corn adventure! And with good reason.

    M —
    The Missus is tastier than the snacks! In fact, it’s a daily struggle not to consume her entirely! ‘Where’s Sidore?’ people would ask, and I’d shrug and look askance, while pulling my shirt down over my grossly-distended stomach.

    And are you saying you’re a walking chip apocalypse? A CHIPOCALYPSE??

    Everhard —
    Yeah yeah, I know. As many British terms that I shoehorn into my vernacular, calling chips ‘crisps’ is one I just don’t do, much like how I don’t say ‘speciality’ or aluminium’. People get confused when I pronounce product ‘PRO-duct’ as opposed to ‘PROD-uct’ as it is. Not to mention the single inverted commas! Not to mention the use of the term ‘inverted commas’. I’M ALREADY IN OVER MY HEAD HERE, GODDAMNIT.

    ‘Fission chips’. *thins lips*

    jill —
    Yeah, the flour! It’s… it’s unusual. Maybe that’s due to the scallop extract powder? Scallop extract powder for everything, forever.

    And it took me a while to get through the tube of Jyu-C, but that’s cos I was making it last. As of this writing, the only survivors of your prezzie package are the Kendal mint cake, and the Fry’s Peppermint cream. But I’m biding my time with them, until I can select the perfect moment to FINISH THEM EXCLAMATION MARK!

  8. Davecat writes:

    MyStrangeAddictionFan —
    Well… ultimately my attitude towards these things is ‘if it harm none, do as thou wilt’. I’ve heard of blokes that are in love with their cars as he is before, as well as Erika Eiffel, the lass that married the Eiffel Tower and is seeing the Berlin Wall. People like that are known as objectum-sexuals; they have feelings, affections, and relationships with non-human objects. And that’s fine, as again, no-one’s being harmed.

    Personally speaking, however, I couldn’t be an objectum-sexual myself. As well as being an iDollator, I’m also a technosexual, and there are those of us out there that are into robots that aren’t human-shaped at all, such as R2D2, and that’s not my thing — I’m attracted to robots with artificial skin that resemble human females. More power to Nathaniel, however.

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