Worst. Babysitter. Ever.
typed for your pleasure on 11 April 2005, at 1.10 amSdtrk: ‘The garden is becoming a robe room’ by Michael Nyman
(yes, the timestamps have been swapped out with the above post..)
How many five year olds could I personally take on at once? I’d have to say, adhering to the rules established in the first post, that if I were thrown into that gym with only the clothes on my back and a protective cup, I could take out probably fifty of them before I became too exhausted..
If I was allowed the use of a single offensive article, I’d go for a seven-foot length of chain. Not like a heavy chain, but something like a dog lead, with that clip thing at the end — light, but damaging. Even if I couldn’t take them out on the first attack, it’d be more than enough to immobilise them, whereupon I’d just go back and finish them off later. Another post stipulated that if you were allowed a weapon, that the five year olds would be allowed that weapon as well. Since I doubt these kids would have enough coordination to use a whip properly, despite their one day of ‘training’, I went with the dog chain, as it’d be useful to me, but rather useless for them. Plus, when not in use, I figured I could wrap it around a fist for DOUBLE DAMAGE!!, or quickly wrap it around my waist and secure it with the clip.
So yeah, I’d say fifty, and with the whipchain, seventy. I’d better start training now!
Do feel free to give your own personal estimations of how many five-year olds you could take out! Anyone responding with anything disparaging will be openly mocked, by the way, just so you know.
And YES, I’m Emailing people. Don’t give me that look
Random similar posts, for more timewasting:
PAULA 'Just keep grinning, and they'll go away eventually' OLIVEIRA UPDATE! on May 6th, 2005
Fact-checking is for the weak on November 28th, 2008
April 11th, 2005 at 11.20 pm
Hello, just checking to see if my Gravatar thingy is working yet 🙂
Lily says she has never been so happy with such a blurry picture (I think she thinks it obscures her identity LOL)
As to the question, are these five year olds swarming you, or just coming one at a time? :-/
Remember, their height difference might enable them to sneak beneath the whip, and gnash your ankles to death!
Well, it could happen 😀
I’d say a hundred, given bare hands. Weapons, hmm… much less LOL
April 14th, 2005 at 3.21 am
Err, I can’t recall if the five year olds appear one at a time, in small groups, or en masse.. I believe it’s small groups. (Gotta check that post again.) I’d agreed that their small stature could allow them to sneak under your whiplashes, but I always reason that they’re five-year olds.. they aren’t gonna be thinking all that coherently, even with negligible training. I’m fairly sure that if you ran towards them, screaming at the top of your lungs, half of them would be immobilised in fear and doing industrial-sized gicks in their nappies. And that’s when you STRIKE!!
A hundred?? Dude, you’re hardcore!! 🙂
Very nice Gravatar, by the way. You and Lily should be commended. 🙂
April 14th, 2005 at 6.28 am
She looks perplexed, as if “What’s all the fuss about, then?” LOL
Actually, she’s pissed at me for beating up on five-year olds in my mind 🙁
I pointed out that at least I have one (a mind, that is), and then things really got ugly :-O
And that’s a hundred IF they are strangers, and one at a time. Their swarming tactics would crush me, I’m afraid.
Lily says “Ta!” and hi to Sidore-chan 😀