‘They have found the Void. The final days of Man are close at hand’

typed for your pleasure on 28 August 2007, at 3.04 am

Sdtrk: ‘Intercity 215’ by Merzbow

This can be, in no way, shape, or form, a good thing.

Gaping hole found in universe
Thu Aug 23, 2007 7:31PM EDT | Reuters

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – A giant hole in the Universe is devoid of galaxies, stars and even lacks dark matter, astronomers said on Thursday.

The team at the University of Minnesota said the void is nearly a billion light-years across and they have no idea why it is there.

“Not only has no one ever found a void this big, but we never even expected to find one this size,” said astronomy professor Lawrence Rudnick.
the rest of the article is here

Let us… let us consider this for a moment. Space contains an awful lot of, well, space, but it’s not completely empty, as we all know. Then there’s the issue of dark matter, which is, quoth Wiki, ‘hypothetical matter of unknown composition that does not emit or reflect enough electromagnetic radiation to be observed directly, but whose presence can be inferred from gravitational effects on visible matter’. Which basically means that although it’s bastard hard to detect, there is something there where you’d think there’s nothing there, out there.* But these astronomers and scientists have stated that this void they’ve stumbled upon contains no stars, no planets, no black holes, no dark matter, no nothing. Actually, the only thing it seems to have in it is Nothing.

I don’t know about you, but with the discovery of this Void, a number of various apocalyptic scenarios are forming in my mind. You know: a great rift between universes, the walls of reality being rent asunder, Elder Gods of unspeakable power and malevolence pouring into our fragile little cosmos to wreak devastation until the end of time itself, stars winking out one by one, breathable atmospheres of inhabited planets turning into blood, the endless screams of anguished souls praying for a sweet release that will never arrive… huh. I think I’ve just described a typical day at work

*The Wiki entry then goes on to say, ‘It has been noted that the names “dark matter” and “dark energy” serve mainly as expressions of our ignorance, much as the marking of early maps with “terra incognita”‘, which I found to be pretty funny

Random similar posts, for more timewasting:

'So stick your fingers in your ears, then' / Waka waka what? on December 30th, 2004

Well, *I* think it's newsworthy, Part II: supplemental on August 21st, 2006

9 have spoken to “‘They have found the Void. The final days of Man are close at hand’”

  1. barstowmama writes:

    That’s the final resting place for the current administration. Just gettin’ it all ready and spiffy for ’em.

    Tea anyone?

  2. Miss Hyde writes:

    I don’t know about you but I’m suddenly very scared!
    But look on the bright side – we could allways push Billy Piper through the void. We could say she “fell” =D

    Barstowmama; Tea? I thought you’d never ask 😀

  3. Davecat writes:

    barstowmama –
    The final resting place? I thought that’s where they originated from…

    Miss Hyde –
    Hey, you leave Billie alone! Rose is no Sarah Jane Smith, or Susan, or even Peri, but she’s not that bad…
    Then again, she is a chav. *boots into hole*

  4. Mahtek writes:

    So much worry over nothing.

    Eventualy, at the center they will find a small, extremely gaseous planet nothing wants to be around.

  5. ray rentell writes:

    Blimey …… it fair boggles the old brain box dunnit and no suger in mine with just a dash of semi-skimmed milk please.

  6. Miss Hyde writes:

    After careful consideration I have come up with a list of people that should go in the void; *ahem*
    *”president” Bush
    *Green Day
    *Whoever thought up high school musical
    *The person who said punk was dead
    * Hillery duff’s manager Hillery Duff
    *Hitler’s parents
    *the person who made chocolate fattening
    :S there were more but my head hurts.

  7. PBShelley writes:

    Never has so much been written about so much… Nothing :-O

    Actually, I’d just clipped an article about it from the NewsPaper (TM) for use in a future story; a friend called me up to tell me about it; and a Forum-mate posted about it with a title called “Space is the Place”. I WAS going to comment on this, but now I’m caught up in a Ian Dury song-fest 😛

    It IS kind of fun to imagine what we could stuff The Void with though… too bad it’s too late for Bush (Geo) and Company though, as the damage has been done 🙁

    I’d settle pretty much for everyone who isn’t capable for thinking of themselves, followed closely by (or preceded by) the twits responsible for the dumbing down of EVERYTHING, the selling out of the Arts, and their enablers.

    There.

    Oops. Not enough Space :-O

    PBS & the Etcs

  8. Davecat writes:

    Mahtek –
    Uranus? yuk yuk yuk

    Rent –
    Space! It’s crazy! Try not to think about it. Don’t even look at it, it can smell fear.

    Miss Hyde, PBS and lasses –
    Hear hear! But you’re right, we’re gonna need a bigger Void…

  9. Miss Hyde writes:

    SO here’s the plan; we use a paradox machine to stop the universe collapsing on itself and fill the void with dinomite *evil smile* OH and chuck in a slice of pie and gordon brown will soon follow it 🙂 . But how do we stop the void getting TOO big? :I

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